Principle 31: Forgiveness

This entry is part 27 of 98 in the series Principles

Forgiveness plays a crucial role in the atonement which makes us At-One with the heart of God. He who refuses to forgive cannot be raised up in consciousness to join with the mind and heart of God to see through the eyes of Spirit.

Before we explore this principle let us consider several questions about this important subject.

(1) What does it really mean to forgive?

(2) Many say they have forgiven when they haven’t done so completely. What must we do beyond saying, “I forgive.”

(3) Lack of forgiveness creates grievances. How does this injure us both physically and spiritually?

(4) Is the person you do not forgive damaged by your hurt? How and why?

Forgiveness is not usually looked upon as a principle. This is because forgiveness is not fully understood by many.

To forgive is generally identified with forgetting the offense as if it never occurred. This is not forgiveness because this approach is rarely successful. An action that hurts or offends did occur and no power in heaven or earth can make it as if it never was. When the seeker attempts to forgive in this way he only denies his feelings or suppresses them. This plants a negative seed in his heart that grows into something destructive later on. It will either manifest as disease or harmful behavior, not seemingly connected with the pseudo forgiveness.

How then does one truly forgive?

Forgiveness is letting go of hurt and grievance while at the same time facing the full realization of the repercussions of the hurtful act. In other words, instead of divorcing oneself from reality, or what happened, the seeker stays connected to reality and the cause and effect of his actions. He becomes the observer, takes everything in but is not negatively affected by offensive events or actions.

He who forgives can meet the offending person with full realization of what he has done, full memory of the pain inflicted and embrace him and wish him Godspeed. He can do this because he has not attached himself to grievance and has let it go. He realizes his brother is merely in error and will eventually learn his lessons. A tiger is a tiger and you do not hold a grievance because he may eat you if you get in his way. Even so, the forgiving soul sees a wayward brother for what he is, lets go of emotional hurt and uses wisdom I dealing with him as e would a dangerous animal.

So what must one do beyond saying “I forgive?” The key is to rid oneself of all grievances and negative feelings connected with the offense. If the seeker is honest with himself and examines his heart he will be able to tell when the negativity has completely lifted. Here are steps that can assist.

(1) While it is true that merely exclaiming “I forgive” is not a cure all, it can have a positive effect, especially for minor offenses. If it doesn’t do the trick proceed to step two.

(2) Think the whole matter through with the mind and try to assume the vantage point of the observer. You don’t hold a grievance against a wounded dog that bites you. Allow your mind to calculate why not forgiving does a lot of damage body and soul.

(3) If you still carry a grievance then contact the person who offended you and explain to him that you would like to forgive him but are having a difficult time. Tell the person that it will help a lot if he will just listen to you relate your feelings and try to understand them.

Normally the person will be touched and glad to help.

Once in a while though you may encounter a hardened individual who merely stokes the flames and will tell you that you deserve the hurt you feel and more.

If you encounter such an individual do not lose faith. If you raise your consciousness up to the soul level you will be beyond his power to hurt you no matter what he says. The fact that you put everything out on the table will be a big help even in dealing with a very negative person.

So, what if the person is dead and you can’t just call him up or go see him?

In this case either go to his gravesite or just imagine his presence and share your feelings with him or her as if he is present. Chances are he will pick up the communication in the spirit world and do what he can to comfort your heart. Your own soul will also assist you in lifting the negativity.

One of the reasons forgiveness is so important is that grievance from not forgiving hurts us physically and spiritually. A grievance can stimulate diseases of congestion such cancer, heart and lung problems. Often the lifting of a grievance will cause immediate health benefits.

Spiritually a grievance places a cloud between the seeker and his soul leading to many spiritual mistakes in life.

While it is true that most of the damage of not forgiving affects the victim, it also negatively affects the perpetrator if he is truly to blame. In this case, he will pick up your negativity and it will interfere with him bringing in light from the soul. If your grievance is caused by illusion or misunderstanding, and he is innocent of wrong doing, then he will receive little negative impact. If he is sensitive he may pick up the need to help you work through your grievance.

It is important to realize that a grievance in a victim places a link between him and the perpetrator that prevents the victim from being spiritually free. A grievance causes the victim to suffer karma from the very crime committed against him.

To forgive is a way of announcing your freedom to the world.

Copyright 2014 by J J Dewey

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Series NavigationPrinciple 30: The AtonementPrinciple 32: Justice

1 thought on “Principle 31: Forgiveness

  1. JJ, thank you so much for writing this! It is something that has always been a challenge for me! Since I was an asthmatic for a large part of my life, I assume that it is something I have carried for many lives to some degree or other.
    In this particular life though, my main greavence was towards my sons father for completely excluding my son from his life. It was heartbreaking having no answer for my son when he was little, and asking why his dad didn’t want to see him. I did my best to reassure my son that it was through no fault of his own, but that sometimes adults just did dumb things that were difficult to understand. Then his dad passed away. I only knew this because I had very vivid dreams of his dad coming to me & asking to talk to me. I had this dream about three times in a row. Each time, I responded angrily, and finally told him that he had nothing to say that I wanted to hear, and he just needed to be a decent father for his son. Then his mother came to me, who had passed over several years earlier, and said what her son had to say was important, or words to that effect. The next morning I awoke certain that his dad was dead. I had no contact details for any of his family, so I went to the library & read the death column of every paper for the past week, and finally found his death notice placed by his current wife. I was shocked & then angered as I read my sons native Maori name under the declaration ” and beloved father of….” Father? Father! He was no father to MY son! He hadn’t clapped eyes on him since he was 2 years old! And hadn’t given me a dime in child support. And now no one had even given my son the chance to say goodbye because the funeral had been and gone! I was furious for years!
    Even though I knew how damaging this kind of anger could become, I really struggled with forgiveness because he wasn’t “here” to resolve it. While time has taken the “edge” off the anger I know it is still there. Funnily enough I told my son that HE could talk it out with his father to try and get things off his chest, even though he was no longer present in the physical, I just never really applied it to myself.
    So thank you, once again, JJ. You have helped to remind me that there is a way forward, and with some work I hope to get there.

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