Hell on Earth, Part 5

(Note: This continues Mr Jarman’s temple experience and observations. Some of them are quite different than the temple ceremonies today. This may be the first temple humor I have ever come across as Mormons treat the subject with extreme seriousness.  Even though I haven’t been a member since 1978 I did go through the temple several times when I was younger and did promise to not reveal the signs and tokens so I have edited the pertinent information out.  It can be readily found in other places though.)

I must now describe further how we are “made meet to be partakers of an inheritance with the saints in light; “ or rather, how we are made “citizens of the Kingdom of God.” A month prior to this I had been made a citizen of the United States, as I thought. Now I had to change my Nationality again, and I watched the “new departure” with considerable interest.

The Priests gave us “The first grip of the Aaronic, or lesser Priesthood,” which consists in placing the thumb on the knuckle of the index finger, and. clasping the hands around. We were then made to swear “to never speak against the Lord’s Anointed Prophet (the Mormon Prophet.), but to obey him and the laws of the Mormon Church, and all they enjoin, in preference to the laws of any kingdom or nationality, and more especially those of the United States.” The penalty for refusing to obey, or revealing this oath and grip is, “that we will have our throats cut from ear to ear, and the tongue torn from the mouth: “ the sign of the penalty is …

There was a small altar on one side, at which there now appeared three rough-looking specimens of humanity. These, we were informed, were-

.. “ Peter, James and John.” Peter had two big keys which were “the keys of Death and Hell.” He had been in the wet and got the keys awfully rusty. They seemed to have been out of use lately for “the used key is always bright. It struck me forcibly that no one could unlock either Death or Hell with keys. So unless they get new keys I feel safe enough, for I know of none but Mormons who wish me dead and in Hell; of course, every good Mormon has that kind wish toward me.

“Peter,” with his rusty keys, stood between “James and John.” At this juncture different men came in one by one, each making an effort to represent their various religious sects’ presented their different dogmas and professed to be very anxious to save us fallen children of Adam. Each of these celebrated preachers coarsely satirized the various Christian sects. The one proclaiming Methodism ridiculed Calvinism, and repudiated the idea of infants a span long being in Hell, and dwelt most -emphatically upon “The final perseverance of the Saints.”

The Calvinist, in turn, abused the Methodist, and assured us that “The Elect once saved was saved for ever; he cannot fall from grace and be lost.” The Baptist was surprised to find there were people presuming to teach and believe “That mankind could get to heaven without rinsing. To think of being saved without immersion or even wetting the feet was preposterous.”

We had to listen to harangues from the Ana-Baptist and the Pedo Baptist, the Quaker and the Shaker; in fact, from most of the well-known sects of Christendom. But the great wind up came when “Peter” preached unto us “The Mormon Gospel.” Peter being an old hand at it, could dish it up in high style-

“He could deep mysteries unriddle, As easily as thread a needle.”-Hudibras.

At one time during his Sermon when he arrived at his highest pitch of eloquence, a country girl that stood by my side gave me a poke in the ribs and whispered “How’s that for high? “ I answered “It’s high you bet.” She smiled and seemed disposed to carry on a flirtation. Peter twig’d it, and fearing a reprimand we “shut up” and did not flirt. Peter reviewed the gibberish of the “Christian Parsons,” as he called the previous preachers, and said “these Gospel sharps are running various Gospel mills on their own hook. Here’s these miserable one wife scoundrels among the Baptists, Methodists, Independents, and the various sects trying to get into heaven all of a flippety flop, humpety hump, dot and carry one; with a solitary Wife jagging ’em down at one arm “-(great laughter).

“It’s no go,” cried Peter. “No man can get into celestial glory that way. I hold the keys, and no man can pass in unless EVENLY BALANCED with a wife on each arm; and he should have a score or two more hanging on to his coat tails, otherwise his glory in heaven will be no great shakes.

This great “Apostle of the Gentiles” assured us that “ All the sects were wrong.” The Catholic Church he described as the Great Mother of Harlots.”

The Church of England having sprung from this “Mother Church,” was .nothing more or less than “a daughter of the Great Whore.” The Methodists, Congregationalist, Baptists, Independents, and every other body of so-called Christians of whatever name were stigmatized as “ Bastards; “ whose existence was shown to be the result of a vast amount of “Religious harlotry.”

Peter admonished us that as we had “drunk of the wine of her fornication” we had committed fornication with her, and now the word of the Lord which he called upon us to obey was:-“Come out of her my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues.”

Another command was loudly vociferated by the “Apostle,” “Come out from among them, and be ye separate saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you and will be a father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.”

“Peter “ spun a long yam, sailor like, of course, and in a manner becoming a fisherman. He could spin it out with great rapidity, and in a style peculiar to fish fags, including the choicest Billingsgate. Mixed up with this amount of his balderdash we gathered that, “All the Christian Churches of our day were fearfully corrupt, and groping in worse than Egyptian darkness.” The World was in darkness, and had been for eighteen centuries until God appeared to Joseph Smith, a few years ago. That the, only light in the world at the present time was in the Mormon Church. “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints” was the only true Church of God upon the Earth; this was established with Prophets, Apostles, &c., as in days or yore, and all would be damned who rejected the Gospel as proclaimed by this latter-day Church.

When Peter finished his wrangle: the Devil who had loitered around and assisted the “Divines” (all except Peter), came bustling up to the Altar, and offered to shake a paw with Peter. This “ Apostle “ tried to be polite, and giving him a hearty grip said to him “Halo, Mr. Devil, why how do you do? It’s a fine day, ain’t it? What are you doing around here: are you seeking whom you may devour?”

“Oh dear no!” replied the devil: “When the sons of God come together, Satan comes also among them you know: and from what I can discover, these friends here (pointing around at us) don’t seem to take to any of these religions: why don’t you quit hankering after Christianity and have a jolly time like I do.”

Here Satan danced, and skipped about as merry as a cricket; and just in the midst of a jolly good “sailor’s horn pipe.” Peter pointed to the devil, caught his eye, and cried with a loud voice “You git! hurry up!” Satan gave a regular “break down “jump, stood looking at Peter a second then bounced out of the room singing “The girl I left behind me.” The last of the refrain he sang as he stood just outside the door was:-

“Let the night be ever so dark, or ever so wet and windy, I must and I will return again to the girl I left behind me.”

The Devil is not only a Poet, but a very fair ballad singer, and would do well for a “penny gaff,” or low pot house of a Saturday night. Many a publican would like to engage him for a Saturday night’s” free and easy.” but I must not digress.

When the Devil “shut up” and went off; Peter said “Resist the Devil and he will flee from you.” He then gave us the second grip of the Aaronic or lesser Priesthood. ‘ … The penalty for revealing this is to be sawn asunder and our members cast into the sea.

The men then took the oath of chastity, and the women likewise. This as may be supposed is very chaste-very indeed! The man swears to be true to his numerous wives, together with his spiritual wives and proxy wives-his wives for time, and his wives for eternity. He swears to “cleave unto theirs, and none else.” Imagine the concomitant, conjugal conjugation that must inevitably follow when a man attempts to “cleave unto” a lot of women. I have seen it tried, and tried a little of it myself: it don’t work worth a cent. Men and brethren, hearken unto me! if you dent believe it, you just try to conjoin a dozen or so of wives to yourself, and I’ll guarantee you will speedily find that the word “ cleave “ means “deft,” and if you come out of the fracas with a sound mind in a sound body, consider yourself in luck.

The woman is made to swear that she will prove faithful to whatever part or parcel of her respective husband may be assigned to her, and to be fully and thoroughly satisfied with a tenth, fiftieth or hundredth part of a man-his attention, affection, &c., &c., &c. Except, that it is hereinafter provided. Should there be no issue from this fractional union, then the lady aforesaid shall select another man, drag him before the Prophet, and both get another oiling; after which they are made man and wife pro tem on the Q.T., and thus shall the sin of barrenness be removed far from Mormondom [See Par. x6. Revelation on Polygamy, Appendix E].

A man-led lady is informed that she is not yet tied to the man she thought she had married in England or elsewhere-” That all marriages performed. outside the Mormon Church are illegal. No man but a Mormon Priest has any authority from God to bind on earth, hence God has not joined them together,” and Mrs. Jones can leave Mr. Jones, Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Robinson, ditto, and they are at liberty then and there to marry Brigham Young or any “faithful brother” they choose; that all the little Joneses, Smiths and Robinsons are altogether illegitimate until adopted by some “true saint” and thus made “children of God and inheritors of the Kingdom.”

If Mrs. Jarman concludes to stick by Brother Jarman she must see to it that there are other Mrs. Jarmans united to her husband at once, for until that is done the said Jarman is not saved, his children are not heirs, and she herself will receive no resurrection. This is very trying to most wives and mothers, but then this is “The Cross” which they are called upon to take up, and “No Cross, No Crown! “ I ask, what Greater Cross can a true woman be called upon to bear, than to share her husband with dozens, aye, scores of other women?

Having passed this “Fiery ordeal” a man rushed in hurriedly, and proclaimed the joyful news, that the Gospel which had lain dormant 1800 years was now restored to the earth. “The Holy Angel had appeared to Joseph. Smith, and given him the keys of the kingdom and restored the blessings of the Ancient Gospel.” This was called “The Latter-day Dispensation.” The Priests pretended to accept this joyfully, and said it was the very thing they had been hunting for, nothing else having had the power to satisfy them.

They then proceeded to give us the first grip of the “Melchizedek or higher Priesthood,” which is said to be the same Christ held …  We were then made to swear to avenge the blood of Joseph Smith and that of his brother Hyrum on the American Nation, and to teach our children and children’s children eternal enmity toward the United. States Government. The penalty for divulging this grip and oath is disembowelment…

The next, being rather strong, and as I say so much that I myself could not believe had I not witnessed it, I give the next part from Beadels Life in Utah. On page 495, it says:-” The initiates are then ranged in order to listen to a lecture-

“Peter. Brethren and Sisters, light is now come into the world, and the-way is open unto men; Satan hath desired to sift you as wheat, and great shall be his condemnation who rejects this light.-(The ceremony is explained up to this point.)-The holy priesthood is once more established upon earth, in the person of Joseph Smith and his successors. They alone have the power to seal. To this priesthood as unto Christ, all respect is due; obedience implicit, and yielded without a murmur. He who gave life has the right to take it. His representatives the same. You are then to obey all orders of the priesthood, temporal and spiritual, in matters of life or death. Submit yourselves to the higher powers, as a tallowed rag in the hands of God’s priesthood. You are now ready to enter the kingdom of God. Look forth upon the void and tell me what you see.” (Curtain is raised.)

“Adam and Eve. A human skeleton.”

“Peter. Rightly have ye spoken. Behold all that remains of one unfaithful to these holy vows. The earth had no habitation for one so vile-The fowls of the air fed upon his accursed flesh, and the fierce elements consumed the joints and the marrow.”

“Michael. Here all hearts are laid open, all desires revealed, and all traitors are made known. In council of the gods it hath been decreed that here the faithless shall die. Some enter here with evil intent; but none with evil intent go beyond this veil or return alive, if here they practice deceit. If one among you knows aught of treachery in his heart, we charge him now t speak, while yet he may and live. Brethren, an ordeal awaits you. Let the pure have no fear; the false-hearted quake. Each shall pass under the Searching Hand, and the Spirit of the Lord decide for his own.’

“The initiates are placed one by one upon the altar, stretched upon the back, and the officiating priest passes an immense knife or keen-edged razor across their throats. It is understood that if any are false at heart, the Spirit will reveal it to their instant death.”

In the “Argument of Judge Hemingrey before the House Sub-committee on Territories, he says:-The horrible scenes enacted in the Endowment house,’ are graphically described in the book called Wife Number 19 Ann Eliza Young, Brigham’s apostate wife. A portion of these ceremonies now present from page 368 of that work:

“We raise our right hand heavenward, and take the oath of implicit obedience and inviolable secrecy. The women promised entire subjection to their husband’s will; the men that they would take no woman as a wife without the expressed permission of the Priesthood. We all promised that we would never question the commands of our authorities in the church, but would grant them instant obedience. We swore also to entertain an everlasting enmity to the United States Government, and never to reveal the mysteries of the ‘Endowment House.’

“The breaking of this latter oath was to be followed by, the most horrible penalties; torture of the most excruciating kind was to be inflicted upon any one who should disregard this oath-his bowels should be torn from him while he was yet alive; his throat should then be cut from ear to ear; his heart and his tongue cut out; and in the world to come he should inherit eternal damnation. There should be, nor could be, no chance of salvation for him.

“These promised penalties are by no means mere forms of words, given merely to add impressiveness to the ceremony.

“The Blood Atonement’ shows that they are carried out, and hundreds of cases could be cited in addition to those already given, to prove that the Endowment House penalties are by no means dead letters in the Mormon Church law.

“The cutting of every Gentile and Apostate throat, and the sending to hell across lots, ‘that have been so openly and emphatically urged from the stand by Brigham Young and others, is only a public expression of the mysteries of the Endowment Oaths.”

Did I possess “Wife No. 19” I should extract profusely there from with ‘pleasure, for as the Authoress was one of the numerous wives of Brigham Young, she certainly had opportunities of, prying into secrets which I never had. I regret that I failed to secure such a valuable treasure as “Wife No. 19.”

We are now marched into another room designated “The Prayer Circle Room.” The sash and robes that had been put on wrong were now righted. Here we were made to take an oath of obedience to the Mormon Priesthood, which means “The Prophet, Apostles, Bishops, Priests, Elders, Teachers,” and all in authority over us. Just like a private soldier has to obey everyone above him, from a Lance-Corporal to the Commander-in-Chief. We were to obey these “ sacred “ rascals “in all things.” No matter whether we were ordered to cut a child’s throat, or stick a pig, “ WE MUST OBEY AND ASK NO QUESTIONS.” All their sermons point to this “Blind Obedience.” (I have hundreds of them, and if there is room will give some further on).

Now the highest, or Grand Grip of the Melchizedek Priesthood was given.  … The penalty for revealing this oath and grip is to have the heart torn out, cut up in small pieces, and given to the fowl of the air.

We men now form a circle round the altar, link our arms straight across, and placing our hands on each others shoulders. The “High Priest” knelt at the altar, took hold of one of the men’s hands with his left, raised his right hand heavenward, and prayed.

He first prayed in an unknown tongue, and afterwards in English about as near as I can remember as follows, “Oh Lord, avenge now the blood of thy martyred prophet, Joseph Smith on these United States; hasten the day when they shall be United no more, grant that they may fight like Kilkenny Cats, and use each other up so that not one may he left to tell the tale; that thy kingdom established here in the mountains may roll forth and fill these States preparatory to filling the whole world: for thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory for ever Amen!”

The Priest told us that the Electric current of prayer passed through that circle, and went straight to Heaven and “moved the arm that moves the world.” Before he-prayed in English he told us the nature of the prayer about to be uttered, and said we must all be united and “will strongly” every word uttered by him, adding if our wills were firmly united with his this unity of will penetrating the whole of us, and him, would pass as an Electric current right up to the throne in heaven. We are cautioned not to be alarmed at the idea of “Electric Prayer” that we live in an advanced age; Science produces wonders with Electricity and why not Electric Prayer?

When anything important is required from above the electric current of prayer is set in motion, and they say this kind of prayer is always answered. This is the kind of prayer offered for President Lincoln, when, after he had abolished Slavery, he sought to extirpate Polygamy. The Endowment House rang with “Oh God curse Lincoln!” and in answer to this prayer we are told God smote Abraham Lincoln and the “ Saints “ rejoiced and gave glory to the God of Heaven for the assassination of that “stinking Abolitionist. They also had a big feast. The people came from all parts of the territory and there was a time of rejoicing such as was never before known there.

(NOTE: LDS church historians maintain that the early Mormons supported Lincoln. The Deseret News Feb. 12, 2009 published this:

“On March 4, 1865, a mile-long parade was held in Salt Lake City to celebrate Lincoln’s re-election. Andersen said that event was significant because it brought all different types of people in the area together, including federal soldiers.

“Five weeks later, an event was held in the unfinished Salt Lake Tabernacle to mourn Lincoln’s death.” [3000 are said to have attended]

On the other hand, there were probably numerous Mormons who didn’t like Lincoln for he signed into law the first of the anti polygamy laws, the Morrill Anti-Bigamy Act of 1862.

Many were also probably resentful of him because his party platform lumped he evils of polygamy in with slavery calling them both “the twin relics of barbarism.”

Lincoln agreed to not act against the Mormons if they would support the North over the South during the Civil War.  Here is an interesting account:

“Having signed the Morrill Act, Abraham Lincoln reportedly compared the Mormon Church to a log he had encountered as a farmer that was ‘too hard to split, too wet to burn and too heavy to move, so we plow around it. That’s what I intend to do with the Mormons. You go back and tell Brigham Young that if he will let me alone, I will let him alone.’”

Zion in the courts, Edwin Brown; Mangrum, Richard Collin 2001, University of Illinois Press, p. 139)

Back to the story…

When President Garfield was shot there was. great rejoining among “the Saints.” And during that never-to-be-forgotten period, while Garfield lay between life and death, and while all Christendom prayed earnestly for his recovery, the Mormons put in motion their Electric Battery of Prayer, and prayed that the “puny man” Garfield, who had dared to oppose Polygamy might be cut off from the earth: and now they rejoice and boast that their prayer has been answered, that God does not listen to the false Christians of the world, but only to his true people the Mormons. Missionaries are making use of this as an argument right now, to convince their poor dupes that everything is O. K. in the Mormon kingdom, and this, it will be at once seen, is a powerful argument.

While the “Electric prayer” was going on the women stood outside the-circle of men, with their veils covering their faces, the only time throughout the ceremonies that they did so. The prayer being over, we were all ordered up stairs. This was supposed to mean going up to heaven. On arriving at the top of the stairs we found ourselves in a very peculiar place. Here was a big room partitioned off with a large greasy dishrag or screen. This screen had once been white, but now filthy dirty. It was called “The Vail,” and is said to be in imitation of the veil in Solomon’s Temple. Some Mormons assert that it is the actual one, being preserved from the days of Solomon, and now in the possession of “God’s peculiar people,” the Mormons.

On this veil marks, like those on the “Wedding Garment,” such as the square, co pass, &c., together with various holes for putting the arms, and a hole at top to speak through. It was also rent in twain. This rent was “the way opened up” whereby we could enter through the veil into “The Holy. Holies.” The very holy place was inside of where we stood, and before go through to “ t’other side o’ Jordan,” as the Priest expressed it, we received general outline of instructions, similar to those received down stairs, “down the kitchen,” as the Mormon Bishop remarked. This over, the Priest took me straight up to one of the holes in the veil, where he knocked with a mallet.

voice (Peter’s of course) from the other side, asked “Who’s there? “ Priest answered for me by saying “Adam having been faithful desires enter.” It appears I was now transformed into “Adam.” I was then led where there was two holes in the veil. Here I had to poke both hands arms through and “hug old St. Peter,” who stood on the other side was for the embrace. While hugging this lecherous old humbug there was a strong smell of that Mormon “ Heavenly “ incense commonly called Whiskey. I had to whisper in Peter’s ear my new name. To do this aright I had to put head in at the hole; when I popped my head in the smell of whiskey was enough to knock anybody down. I stood my ground, however, for I was interested in the thing by this time, and was eager to see it through.

Having divulged my New Name to “Saint Peter,” I was now considered ripe for Heavenly Glory, and was permitted to go through the veil into “ Heaven. ‘ I now entered and took a good square look around; I must say I was very much disappointed. The bright notions I had hitherto entertained of Heavenly Glory, first flickered, then vanished; for anything more unlike Heaven I cannot conceive. It was a Hell within a Hell. What it lacked in purity was made up in filth. If I kept a pig and expected to eat the pork, I should not keep the animal in that place.

Here I found the same Dramatis Persona of “ God’s, Holy beings,” &c., that I had seen below, minus “ The, Devil.” Of course, he had been kicked out of this “ Holy “ assembly just before he visited Mrs. Eve, and I noticed it was a different “ Peter “ to what we had down stairs: I asked one of the Priests why that was, he said “we had to put a ‘super’ in Peter’s place because his women where raising hell at home, and he had gone with a good stout rope to cast out devils.”

Not wishing to enjoy this’“ Heavenly Glory” alone, I was informed that if my wife wished to marry me properly now was her chance. “ Eve “ was on the t’other side of Jordan (the veil) instructing her daughters in regard to this I matter. My wife (or “ missus “ I spose up to this time) very prudently concluded to marry the father of her children. The chap who was playing the part of “ Peter, ‘ while the real “ Peter “ was home larruping his wives, said to me, “How many women are you going to hitch on to?”

I replied, “I have two outside the veil, which I brought for that purpose, if they have not changed their minds since they came into this house.”

“Come here and fetch ‘ern in, for here’s where you get spliced for time and for eternity,” says Peter’s super. I said, “ What! are we to be married in Heaven? I thought that in Heaven they neither marry nor are given in marriage! “

“All a pack o nonsense,” replied the “super,” “that’s yer old sectarian foolishness which you’ve fetched with you from wicked Babylon. You must drop all that stuff here. Come git yer women in,” and added, “Tell Jehovah that you feel lonely and desire the companionship of a woman or two to help cheer your weary pilgrimage.” I did so, when Jehovah “ answered, “It is not good for man to be alone, I will make help meets for him.” Then I had to give the super my wife’s worldly maiden name, for notwithstanding we had been married by the English Law–the best Marriage Laws in the World-she was not yet Mrs. Jarman. Besides this “mock Marriage” in England was only till Death us do part.” I should lose her at death and never have her again. Death ends that contract, but now we were to be made one FOR EVER.

I was now taken to the holes where I had previously hugged the Apostle,” and stood just where he had stood. I then called for the woman was about to marry, when she, I had hitherto erroneously called wife, stepped up to the holes, aforesaid, on the outside of the screen, to receive her hugging. Here we stood with the dirty screen between us, Eve was on the outside instructing my “ missus,” and Peter’s super prompting me on the inside.

Our knees were peculiarly placed, the feet also were properly adjusted, and with both arms around each other we were told to “squeeze tight.’ We managed to do a bit of tolerably good squeezing considering the circumstances. First she gave me her maiden name, and to make assurance doubly sure I heard Eve” say, “Give him your New Name, and kiss him through the veil.” This lone, Eve told my wife to repeat after her a most disgusting formula or oath, which moral decency compels me to omit here.

The highest Melchizedek grip was again given, when we released our hold if each other. A “Priestess” or “ Prophetess “ then took my wife to the entrance through which I had been admitted, and rapped as the Priest had done in my case. “ Peter “ (or rather the super) for the real Peter had not ret returned. It takes time to wallop the devils out of eight wives. The super spoke out, “Who’s there? “ The Priestess replied, “Eve having been faithful desires to enter.”

Eve “was accordingly ushered into Heaven.” I then had to go through the same rigmarole to “fetch in t’other woman,” as they said, who was also to become a Mrs. Jarman. Having “gathered in” these two of my “lost ribs” I was directed to take them both to a table at which “The Gods,” the heads of the Mormon Church were seated. Here I had to give first my own name, that of my parents, and place and date of birth. The two women I was about to marry did the same, and all was entered in a large hook or marriage register. A copy of this register was then given me on a slip of paper, and I was directed to take that and the two women into the “Sealing Room,” and give the piece of paper to the officiating priest, who would marry me to both those women according to the “Order of Heaven.” I obeyed orders.

In this “Sealing Room” is the “Marriage Altar. Here we are married for “time and all eternity.” Think of it! it’s serious enough to be bound to a woman for time only, and how many wish they had married on probation. But what is that compared with marrying a wife for all eternity? It would scare most men. But every cloud has a silver lining somewhere, so also in this case. We can console ourselves with the thought that if the thing don’t work right or is not exactly O.K: Smith, the Great High Priest, who is also the Probate Judge, and who prominently officiates in the tying up biz., will untie the knot and divorce us at any time; notwithstanding the fact that he married us for all time, and eternity into the bargain. Then again this fact is very consoling to the men-that at the resurrection – he need not raise up the bad with the good: he has his pick then, and can call up only those of his wives who have been very loving, very faithful, very quiet, &c., &c., &c.