Loving Relationships, Part 3
Using the Lion Principle
Question: “Just wondering. How do one stop sending energy? There’s this girl I cannot get over and I prefer not to send her energy anymore since we can not be together. How do I stop?”
JJ: If the valves allowing the flow of romantic love energy are turned on it is difficult indeed to just snap your fingers and turn them off. It helps a lot when one of the parties turns the energy in a different direction. When this happens the main thing that is left is the pull of astral love with no interplay. Interplay, when both parties are sending and receiving energy, is particularly powerful.
The most powerful diversion is another romantic interest. If you wish to end a relationship that still has a lot of pull on you just aggressively look for someone else. The minute you send to another the pull from the first will greatly diminish and no longer be painful.
But suppose you can’t find a replacement. What then? In that case make some goals at self-improvement and plunge into them. This will take your attention off the lost love and focus it elsewhere. Remember energy follows thought.
Question: Shouldn’t you eventually receive love back if you send it out, even if the relations hip has ended?
JJ: Love evokes love and hate evokes hate but not necessarily as a linear reaction.
For instance, Jesus turned the other cheek and loved those who hated him and what happened? They hated him even more and crucified him and persecuted his followers afterwards. Even so, his example has drawn forth untold quantities of love over the centuries.
Many spiritual teachers have been hated and reviled yet hate did not evoke hate from them, but love.
On the other hand, when love and hate are cast into the great spiritual Internet those energies are returned to the sender in some way, and with interest.
When you send love toward a person who has rejected the soul energy of love it confronts him as a strange alien vibration that he doesn’t like. Instead of sending love back he is likely to send hate instead.
To see the soul in another does not mean that you actively send the person love. This must be done with judgment if done at all. When you see the soul in another you see his source and it may be a source that he has totally rejected. Even so, it is the duty of the disciple to see the perfection of the soul in all people but only send love as directed by your own soul. One must be aware of personality problems and avoid danger in relationships as served by common sense.
One must use the Lion Principle in dealing with difficult people. When you visit a lion in a zoo you may realize that, if nor for the cage, he would eat you. Because you are safe you can look upon the majestic beast and see in his soul the glory of God manifested in this life. Does that mean you should break into his cage and give him a hug? Of course not. Wisdom dictates that you appreciate him from a distance.
If you get too close to the lion and he bites your arm, should you then hate him for the rest of your life?
No. You should not hate the lion any more if he bites you than if he does not, for that is his nature whether you are careless enough to get bitten or not.
The difficult people in our lives are like lions that we should see as divine creations but from whom we protect ourselves by keeping a safe distance. We must not give them too much attention, or wrong attention, or they could turn on us.
Audience: “You’re saying turn the other cheek but a few minutes ago you were talking about the fundamentalists who said turn the other cheek and said it was wrong, it seems like a contradiction.”
JJ: I never said to turn the other cheek was wrong. Denial of the feelings is always wrong.
Audience: “When you really feel the love there’s no denying it.”
JJ: We need to escape the denial before we can find the love. If for instance, you feel hate toward somebody, but you say, “I’m a good Christian or I’m a good synthesizer. How can I hate someone? I know I’m highly evolved therefore I must not feel hate. Therefore, I do not feel hate. I feel perfect love all the time.” He keeps saying this mantra over and over, “I feel love because I’m highly evolved.”
He gets himself convinced. He gets himself so convinced and in such a state of denial that he is in an illusionary state of love. It’s not real love but a false love. It doesn’t have the feeling behind it. He forgets what the real feeling is.
So he is in this outer veil of illusion now. He’s in a state of what he thinks is love but it’s a deceptive state, which is covering up a bunch of hate. So how does he find the true love? He has to go backwards. He has to retrace his steps and find the deception and admit how he feels. I admit that I feel that I hate so and so. I really felt bad towards him. I really do. I admit it to myself.
You finally have to admit it to yourself and be honest. The energy of Christ is never deceptive. When you read about His life, He did not practice deception even if He laid His life on the line. When He walked into the Temple, He felt angry they were desecrating it. Did He say, “I’m the Christ, the greatest example of love so therefore I will just love these guys even though they’re desecrating it all. I’ll still love them.” He admitted it. He admitted to Himself that He was angry. He said I hate this, this is terrible. I’m going to do something about it. So He made a whip and chased them all out.
Audience: “But He didn’t hate them necessarily.”
JJ: No, but He was angry. He fulfilled the scripture that the evil In his Father’s house could eat him up and He was eaten up with that feeling of anger toward what they were doing. But anger is a divine reflection of love. Anger is produced through the frustration of acquiring that, which is love. He desired very strongly that people reverenced His Father and they were not doing that so He was frustrated. It produces a natural anger. It does that in everyone. He was honest. He expressed it then He was at peace. He did His duty, he expressed it and He let others know, then it was over.
If He didn’t do that He wouldn’t have been able to be the Christ if He hadn’t admitted that He was angry. If you are angry, admit it. One shouldn’t think, “I’m so evolved that I can’t get angry.” We must recognize what we feel. This takes us the next step up. Then when we recognize it we can deal with it. By telling the offender about it, it becomes his responsibility.
If he accepts it wrongly, he’ll feel bad. If he accepts it rightly, he’ll say, “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way, what can we do to fix this situation?” If we talk about it and create a solution and all of a sudden the burden is lifted. Now we both feel good. We have both restored our communication. Now, even with my friend Wayne we can look on our souls. We can look on each other’s souls and be uplifted. This denial that leads to deception is the big problem that keeps us from soul contact. Whatever we desire, if you feel like raping the Bishop’s wife, admit it to yourself. No matter how weird it is, admit that you feel like doing it.
Audience: “Do you have to admit these things to yourself or to the other? Sometimes you can be too honest.”
JJ: You probably do not want to tell the Bishop or his wife but you do want to admit it to yourself and be honest with the feelings you do reveal.
For instance, let’s say I feel angry with Wayne and just admitting it to myself is enough. Let’s say I feel angry with Wayne, I admit it to myself but the negativity hasn’t lifted yet. I’m still angry. What can I do now? There’s only one solution.
Audience: “Bop him on the nose!”
JJ: That’s right. I could bop him on the nose to communicate to him that I’m angry with him. He gets the message. But that’s a destructive way to do it. But it’s better to do it that way then not do it at all. It’s better to bop him on the nose than to keep it to myself.
There is a better way to do it. I can go to him in a spirit of love and even though I’m angry with him I can still see the Christ within him. I know that Christ can be restored. So let’s restore it. I can say, “Wayne I’m angry with you.” We can discuss it and restore it.
If he responds bitterly, I got it off my chest and if he wants to feel bad about it that’s his choice. Actually, I’d feel guilty because he can’t handle that. So I let him have it. But if he does handle it we restore soul contact and he can look at my soul and I can look at his. But if he doesn’t handle it well I can still look at his. I can now look beyond personality.
Audience: “I think when you do that though you need to ask him if he’s willing to let it pass. Lots of people do a lot of things and just want to let it pass.
“I could go to Wayne and say this is how I feel. These are my feelings. I’m not saying you’re a jerk. If you don’t want to change, if you’d do this and this and this you’d be a decent person. I tell him how I feel.”
JJ: Right, tell him how you feel. That’s important. What if you tell him how you feel and he takes it incorrectly? Sometimes no matter how nice you are in telling him how you feel he might still be hurt. If he takes it correctly or takes it incorrectly, you still tried.
Audience: “The very method you chose to present our anger is one way of using tact.”
JJ: I’ll get back to that. We do want to use tact but I was advising to see what you’re doing with the person. You’re forcing him to look at his faults. If they don’t want to look at their faults, it doesn’t matter how tactful you are. If they’re not ready, they won’t hear.
All improvement comes from energy of the soul. If you’ve done something to hurt me that means that maybe you have some fault in the personality that did that to me. So, if I come to you and say that hurt my feelings, I’m forcing you to look at your soul and admit something is wrong with what you did. If you contact the soul you’ll feel sort of bad that you hurt the other guy’s feelings.
But if you don’t contact the soul, you won’t feel bad at all. You’ll think he deserves it. Really what I’m doing is forcing you to look at your soul. If you don’t want to look at your soul and get the message then you don’t make contact and then you’ll think the guy deserves to feel bad. But if you look at your soul you will feel that energy saying, do something about this. Me sharing my feelings with you is calling forth a response, a decision to go by the soul or go by the personality. It’s forcing you to decide to go one way or another.
Find the grain of truth in criticism— chew it swallow it. – Don Sutton
Oct 4, 2009
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