Loving Relationships, Part 2
Overlooking the Personality
Audience: “It seems to be either my understanding is off or is there a big dimension missing here? Given, everybody has a soul and any two people could fall in love. That part doesn’t make sense to me. You could hitch a Clydesdale and a Shetland together and they may like to rub noses but they’ll never get any work done. (Laughter) There are enough people and differences between people that the numbers of people that would be a good partner for you are greatly reduced.”
JJ: I didn’t say anyone could be a good partner for you. I said you could fall in love with any person. A person doesn’t have to be a good partner for you to fall in love with him or her.
Audience: “That’s what I was asking, do you have to clear it with the mind before you get to the soul?”
JJ: No, you have to control it with the mind. If, for instance, let’s say Kathy isn’t very good looking. You wouldn’t normally fall in love so you do an experiment. How is love created? Sending energy to the person and getting the energy returned creates romantic love. So it doesn’t matter what she looks like or whether you like her or not. The question is whether your mind is in charge. If your mind is in charge of the energy, you have power to send it. How is your mind in charge of energy? If you decide it is. That’s all you have to do. I just have to decide that my mind is in charge of the energy that I send out and collect.
So though Kathy is kind of a frump, I send her the energy, and by George, she’s really flattered. I’m the first guy who’s ever done this to her. She sends energy back and you’re in control. Your mind is in perfect change. You realize she isn’t that good looking but you get this energy back that you sent. So you sit back and bask in it a little bit. Feel it, it feels just like it does from the good-looking girl. There’s really no difference if the form is bypassed. Your mind is in charge so you have the power to send and receive to any person. The reason most people don’t send to Kathy is because they think she’s a frump so they ignore her. But you are a rare person who has a mind in charge so you can decide to do whatever it is you want to do.
Audience: “Maybe we’re isolated on an island, just the two of us, me and Kathy Frump.
“So are the differences in people just in the personality?”
JJ: What do you mean?
Audience: “Well there are so many differences between one person and another but they can see eye to eye on stuff so is the difference just in the personality?”
JJ: The differences are in the personality. Because the personality is difficult to overlook, you want to find a personality that’s as pleasing as possible, but the point is that it doesn’t matter how difficult the personality is, if you can overlook it, you can share love energy. That’s all there is to it, just overlooking the personality.
Now because a person may understand that any two people can fall in love this doesn’t mean love will come easy to Kathy. Even enlightened people are attracted to beauty and will choose beauty over plainness. Kathy will have to work harder to let her inner beauty shine so she can draw someone who will look beyond the form to her soul.
The thing is, even though the person is an animal when you first meet him, sooner or later you’re going to have to overlook the personality because the personality always shows up as being different than your own. They have different habits; they want different things. Sooner or later you will have to overlook the personality if you want the relationship. If you do what will happen? The love energy you felt when you first fell in love will be there year after year after year.
Then it will be life after life after life and that love energy will never go away. It’s that simple. Just by overlooking the personality.
You’d be talking about personality there because in our souls we’re all linked to Divine energy and love. Though our personalities are different, a complementary part of someone else’s personality can attract you. A similar part will also attract each other. For instance, if one person was a writer and writes everything in long hand and his wife has a word processor and can type it all out for him – this creates a complementary aspect of the personality that will help things run smoothly. It should be a basis of soul to soul contact. Even if his wife can’t help him with typing, he should still be able to look at the soul, looking beyond the personality into the soul. It’s very easy to preach but hard to do.
Audience: “I think it’s hard to find two people who are interested in reaching the soul.”
JJ: To reach the soul the first thing you need to accept this word: forgiveness. You must forgive because we hurt each other’s feelings often. We must forgive and work through our denials. What clouds the soul is denial. It’s very, very easy to deny. When you’re in a relationship and you hurt somebody’s feelings or somebody hurts your feelings, you think well that kind of bothered me but if I bring it up it will create a fight so I’m going to pretend that I’m happy. I’m going to pretend that it didn’t bother me. What are you doing? You’re deceiving.
In deception you create a cloud to the soul. You cloud the soul and you go through a deception and if your soul is clouded it makes the personality more obvious to the one that you love. You can now reveal the personality much easier because you’re not revealing your soul to her. You’re covering your soul up with a deception. It seems to honest and seems like you’re doing such a good thing to make the peace by saying that doesn’t bother me. You go through this process of covering it up and pretending that you don’t feel what you do feel. You’re lying when you do this.
Many teach that it’s great when you do this, it’s great when you’re being a martyr and covering up all your feelings. Really what we’re doing is we’re covering up the soul so the personality is more obvious, and it’s hard for your mate to see the soul and it’s hard for you to see the soul because you let your personality show and she’s seeing it.
Audience: “It’s not the soul that’s angry, it’s the personality.”
JJ: Right the personality is angry as an illusion. We’re in illusion whenever we get angry. We’re angry at something that is not. So the first thing we have to do is look within ourselves and see what are the key thoughts, what are the key thoughts of God. Look within and find the thoughts of God. When we find those thoughts, we find ourselves in a state of perfect peace, the peace that passes all understanding. In that state of peace, it is impossible to deceive. In that state where it’s impossible to deceive we then see the Christ in the other person. The Course of Miracles gives a really good exercise. It tells us to pick out the person in our life, you know who he is, that irritates you and bothers you more than any other person. Everybody has that one person. Then go through a realization and realize that this person is your savior. When you can see God in that person, when you can see this person’s soul, and establish soul to soul communication with this person, and not be mad no matter what his reaction is to you, you’re saved. You’re saved because if you take that person who irritates you the most and if you can love him, then nothing can take away your love. You are saved therefore he’s your savior. That’s basically what salvation is.
Audience: “So you don’t change him.”
JJ: Right, you don’t change him, you just accept him. See the God in him, whether he be Hitler or Nero or Ronald Reagan or whoever he may be.
Audience: “Okay so you accept him and he makes you mad, do you tell him that he makes you mad?”
JJ: Sure. You always use total honesty.
Audience: “Does he take that as love when you do that?”
JJ: Probably not but what you feel is what is important, not him. He can hate you, he can jump up and down, he can scream.
Audience: “But he’s going to feel more hate back to you for doing that.”
JJ: It doesn’t matter. If you are in a state where you are centered in the soul, you will only feel love towards him. No matter what he does, you will not let his reaction determine your peace.
Audience: “People have gotten killed or persecuted by loving their enemies.”
JJ: Yes, Jesus preached forgiveness and love, but they still crucified him, but even on the cross he looked beyond the personality and said, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”
You do not have to place yourself in a torturous relationship with your irritating “savior.” This irritating person in your life will take care of that. You just have to filter out his negativity and look upon the soul while staying out of his way as much as possible.
If you’ve had a good time playing the game, you’re a winner even if you lose. – Malcolm Forbes
Oct 1, 2009
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