Chapter Seventeen

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
The Attack Of Darkness

I had a feeling I should not leave Elizabeth alone for long and I should return as soon as possible.  I found that my hunch was right when I returned home and found her wheelchair was empty.

“Elizabeth!” I shouted

There was no answer.

I started searching all the rooms in the house.  Finally I heard a whimpering coming from the bathroom.  I ran inside and found Elizabeth in a corner with a look of terror on her face with tears drying on her cheeks.

“Sweetheart, what happened?  How did you even get in here with no wheelchair.”

“I needed you and you were gone.  I told you that I didn’t want you to go.”

“Here, let me help you back into your wheelchair and we’ll talk.”  I lifted her up and carried her back to her chair.  She was clinging to me very tightly, softly crying.  “There.  Now I’ll make you a cup of tea and we’ll talk.”

I made us both some herb tea and sat down facing her across the table.  “OK.  Now tell me what happened.”

She looked at me and suddenly a look of terror took over her face like I had never seen before.  She screamed “It’s him!” and started wheeling away from me as fast as she could.

I ran after her and caught her and forced her to look at me again.  “Look at me!  It’s me.  No one else.”

“I saw his face.  Your face became his face!”

“Whose face?” I  asked with no small amount of frustration.

“When you left I felt tired and fell asleep in my chair.  I dreamed I was at this flea market where there were all kinds of people hacking their wares.  I was in my wheelchair, but managed to wheel my way around from booth to booth until I came to one that seemed to me manned by John.  I thought it odd that he was wearing dark sunglasses and I wheeled my way closer and saw that he was selling all kinds of scarves and fine handkerchiefs.  As soon as he noticed me he said:  I know what you want.  He picked up an old wooden box and opened it up and pulled out the old red handkerchief.

“Can I have it?’  I pleaded.

“Of course you can have it my dear.  Here, grab hold.’

“He dangled the handkerchief in front of me and I grabbed an end and immediately I felt my strength returning, but was puzzled by the fact that John held on to the other end.  Are you going to let me have it?” I asked?

“On just one condition’, John said.

“And that would be?’

“Look into my eyes for six seconds.

“It seemed like an odd request to me and something about him seemed unlike John.  His voice, the sunglasses, the request – it seemed really strange.  Nevertheless, I wanted the handkerchief and his request seemed harmless so I agreed.

“Then he said, After you have looked into my eyes for six seconds you can have the handkerchief.  He took off his sunglasses and to my horror I saw that his eyes had no pupils or iris.  They were entirely white.  I was surprised, but I really wanted the handkerchief so I looked back at him.  Suddenly, I felt the most evil feeling anyone can imagine.  Then I felt myself paralyzed as I felt my very life force being sucked from my body.  I wanted to turn away, but couldn’t.  I somehow sensed when the six seconds were up, I would be doomed to death, extinction, Hell…who knows what.”

“So, did you look at him for the six seconds?” I asked, anxious to hear her answer.

“In a way the few seconds I did look seemed like an eternity, but somehow internally I seemed to sense the true passing of seconds.  During the first three seconds the man’s face changed and I saw that this person was not John.  He was an older effeminate-looking man with white hair.  Right around the fifth second he smiled.  It was a smile I never want to see again.  It made an evil shiver go all the way through me.  The smile seemed as if it belonged to serial killer who is watching his victim die and enjoying the moment of death.  At that instant I cried out to God in my heart  to give me strength, and just before the sixth second I received power to turn away and instantly woke up.”

I gave her a hug and said,  “My poor sweetheart.  What a terrible experience.”

“That’s not all,”  Elizabeth continued.  “After I woke up I realized it seemed real but consoled myself in the fact that it was just a dream. But then to my side I sensed that same awful presence, similar to what happened to you.  I tried to wheel myself away from it but it felt like the brake was on.  Somehow I fell out of my chair and found myself crawling away.  I turned and looked toward the presence again and saw a faint outline of the white-haired man and heard his words in a whisper.  You are dead anyway, why not give your life to me.”

“I shouted, NO!”

“Then he said something very strange.  Tell your husband I know who I AM.  I AM THAT I AM.  I AM SELF.  I, the self, is all that matters.  Then he disappeared, but I still felt his presence and crawled into the bathroom where you found me.”

“Is his presence still here?”  I asked.

“I felt it again when I saw his face instead of yours, but it seems to be gone now.”

“It’s funny that I felt his presence before, but not now,” I said.  “Maybe evil  must be revealed as well as good.”

“I’m just glad you’re here,” Elizabeth said with a weak smile.  “I never want you to leave me again.”

I hugged her again.  “You would think going through this disease would be plenty for your share of pain in life without having to go through something like this.”

“I’ll tell you this.” she said with a deep sigh. “I thought I knew what fear was when I found out that I had an incurable disease, but that was nothing compared to the shear terror I felt today.  It was as if my soul was at stake, in addition to my life.”  Elizabeth was still shaking, and I continued to hold her close.

“I know,” I nodded.  “I felt that presence.  You really do have to experience it to understand the feelings it can generate.”  I took a deep breath and let Elizabeth go.  “I think it’s time we finished that cup of tea.”

We seated ourselves around the table again after micro waving the tea so it was hot again and resumed our conversation.  I asked, “This entity made an interesting statement about who he thinks we are.  Now how did he word that?”

“He said to tell you  I AM.  I AM THAT I AM.  I AM SELF.   I, the self, is all that matters.”

I replied, “What I find interesting here is that John said that I AM THAT I AM  is a mistranslation.  It’s interesting to compare the two translations.  I am  implies a static condition and is another way of saying self.  I AM BECOMING  implies an evolving condition that involves looking outside of self.  In a weird way this makes a lot of sense to me.  To the good guys out there, self is not the ultimate, but what the self evolves into in connection with all other selves is the thing.  But to the bad guys all there is self, so every goal they have is to only benefit the self as they see it.”

“Why do you suppose his eyes had only whites?” Elizabeth asked, calmer now, but I could tell the memory of the event was still horrifying to her.

“I’m not sure.  Maybe it’s a symbol of their blindness.”

“So do you think the New Agers are wrong when they tell us to look to the self for everything?”

“Maybe they just don’t have the whole truth.  On the other hand, the Christians could be equally as wrong for stressing the translation I AM instead of I AM BECOMING.  It seems that both the New Agers and the Christians may have inadvertently put undue attention on the self.”

“The funny thing is that this evil entity may have helped us rather than hindered,” said Elizabeth, stirring her tea.  “Is it possible that when all is said and done we are just individual selves?”

“In some way we are individual selves and for the Dark Brothers that’s where it ends.  Thus, all they do is for selfish ends.  But the keynote of the Brothers of Light is unselfishness. Therefore, they see something beyond self or greater than self.  Somehow, I feel that the word BECOMING  is a key one here.  Perhaps self is meaningless to those in the light because they are in a state of evolution.  Therefore the self tomorrow would be a different self than the self today.”

“And, by contrast, the unevolving self would be the same tomorrow as it is today,”  Elizabeth added.

“And the fascinating thing to me is that this is one of the main perceptions that people have of God – that He is the same yesterday, today and forever.  When you think of it, this concept would make for a very boring God, wouldn’t it?” I mused.

“Maybe that’s one of the reasons I turned off religion so much.  I always relished new experiences and everything about religion seems to be centered around keeping things the way they are now and not rocking the boat with any changes.”  She paused and finished her tea, then asked,  “So what did you and Wayne come up with about the first key?”

“It seems that everything we’ve come up with that we could possibly be so far is a vehicle of some kind.  Even consciousness itself is like a camera our real self uses.  So we finally came up with something that John can’t say is a vehicle.”

“And what would that be?”

“Everything is created by vibration, action or motion, so that has to be what we are.”

“Sounds like a strange answer to me.”

“But think about it.  If everything was still, there would be no interplay; and if even the vibrations that make the atom were stilled, there would be nothing to exist.  We must be composed of some type of vibration in motion; and if it ceased to exist, then we would cease to exist.  Therefore, we must be composed of movement itself.  That would explain why we are becoming.”

“Maybe, and it is a good thought, but it doesn’t feel right to me,” Elizabeth said frowning.

“It may not be right, but it’s the best I can come up with at the moment.  I have a feeling that we’re getting close.  I think the next hint will tell the tale.”

“I hope so,” Elizabeth sighed.  “I don’t know how much longer my strength can hold out.”

I took Elizabeth’s hand.  “You’ll make it, Sweetie.  When we solve the third key John is committed to healing you.”

“If you could solve even the first one I would be encouraged,” she said.  “It appears that you’re trying to find an answer that has eluded the best philosophers in history.  What makes you think that you can go beyond anything that has ever been done?”

“No one else had the apostle John to help them, “ I said softly.

“But John’s been wandering the earth for two thousand years.  Maybe they have had his help.  Maybe this will be harder than you think.”

Good point I thought to myself as I tried to assure her that we will solve the keys.
Copyright 1997 by J J Dewey

Chapter Eighteen

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