Tag: marriage

To Marry or Not

Joseph Dewey

To Marry or Not

There are two views on the subject of marriage that are out of balance with the midway point of truth.

View Number One. We are complete within ourselves and marriage or even close relationships are unnecessary.

If we are complete within and do not need anyone else then why did God create the universe with billions of inhabited planets and place us on one of them with billions of other people?

If we are complete by ourselves then any type of relationship would be completely unnecessary and there would be no association which would benefit or enhance us in any way.

The Course in Miracles wisely points out that even God is incomplete without each of us joining with Him. Here are some interesting quotes:

“His joy is not complete because yours is incomplete.”

“How can he enter, to rest and to remember, without you? Except you be there, he is not complete. And it is his completion that he remembers there.”

“This is the purpose given you. Think not that your forgiveness of your brother serves but you two alone. For the whole new world rests in the hands of every two who enter here to rest. And as they rest, the face of Christ shines on them and they remember the laws of God, forgetting all the rest and yearning only to have His laws perfectly fulfilled in them and all their brothers. Think you when this has been achieved that you will rest without them? You could no more leave one of them outside than I could leave you, and forget part of myself.”

“For what but Christ is there to see and hear and love and follow home? He looked upon you first, but recognized that you were not complete. And so He sought for your completion in each living thing that He beholds and loves.”


“Fantasies become totally unnecessary as the wholly satisfying nature of reality becomes apparent to both giver and receiver. Reality is “lost” through usurpation, which produces tyranny. As long as a single “slave” remains to walk the earth, your release is not complete. Complete restoration of the Sonship is the only goal of the miracle-minded.”

“Yet what God has created cannot be replaced. God is incomplete without you because His grandeur is total, and you cannot be missing from it. You are altogether irreplaceable in the Mind of God. No one else can fill your part in it, and while you leave your part of it empty your eternal place merely waits for your return.”

“Without you there would be a lack in God, a Heaven incomplete, a Son without a Father. There could be no universe and no reality. For what God wills is whole, and part of Him because His Will is One.”

“You are indeed essential to God’s plan. Without your joy, His joy is incomplete. Without your smile, the world cannot be saved. While you are sad, the light that God Himself appointed as the means to save the world is dim and lusterless, and no one laughs because all laughter can but echo yours.”

“Just as your light increases every light that shines in Heaven, so your joy on earth calls to all minds to let their sorrows go, and take their place beside you in God’s plan.” End Quotes

The basic idea here is that God himself needs all of us for his own completeness and in turn we need each other. As each of us fulfills the mission of Christ in us we reach out to our brothers and sisters upon the path and assist them in their journey to the presence of God. Each of us takes one more step toward completion as we effectively serve the wholeness of the creation of God by assisting the part, even if it is only one individual soul who is walking in darkness, yet seeking light.

View Number Two:

Without marriage your life is incomplete and you will not achieve your full purpose.

This view is equally incorrect. This idea would be logical if we only had one life to live. To live only one a few short years and to pass away without knowing what it is like to love and be loved on an intimate level would indeed leave one feeling short changed.

But such is not the case, for each of us lives many lives and a successful fulfillment of each life creates a step for us in the path toward completion.

In some lives you will have a difficult marriage and others a happy one. In some lives you will be single, but others you will be married. There are times to learn and share through marriage and times to learn through other relationships.

The thread of commonality which goes through all relationships is that our circumstances in each life are arranged by our souls in such a manner to aid with our maximum advancement toward progress, service and wholeness.

Therefore, if you are not married, or seem to have no prospects, do not despair for it is quite possible that you will learn more through non marriage relationships than through marriage itself.

Remember this. Marriage is a relationship, but it is only one relationship out of many. It is indeed true that we must have relationship for us to progress on the path of return and if we are not married we must examine the relationships we do have and make the best of them. The relationships you do have in present time are very important, else your soul would not have brought them to you.

If it is indeed in the design of God that you be married you will feel it when the time is right, but until that time it is best to live in the world where we find ourselves and see the many opportunities to serve in the relationships available in the Now. They are always there to be found.

March 9, 2001

Copyright by J J Dewey 

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Idolatry

Joseph Dewey

Idolatry

In our group there are some who take the Bible quite seriously and others who take it with a grain of salt. Both sides will note that whenever possible I will quote from it to either establish truth or to illustrate that certain teachings are confirmed there. For those of you who see me as wasting time here I would encourage tolerance and an open mind. While it is true that many teachings and laws in the Bible were for a people of an age long past there is also much wisdom expressed in its verses. The highlight of the Bible is of course the words of Jesus.

The fact that the words of the Bible are a strong authority in the minds of many can be used for good or evil. Many use it as a means of control, but then there is an opportunity to open minds to greater vision if it can be shown that a hidden teaching lies therein.

In my view one of the most misused teachings of he Bible concerns divorce. In the days of Moses a man could divorce a woman on a whim and Jesus saw this as an injustice and attempted to shift Israel in the other direction. But because people like to take one extreme position or another they went the other way and many were caught in loveless marriages from which there seemed to be no escape.

Several questioned my interpretation of the scripture I quoted on divorce so I thought I would clarify further here. I would be happy to take any questions if further clarification is needed.

One of the problems is that many lump the words fornication and adultery as meaning the same thing, but such is not the case. Two entirely different words are used with two different meanings in the original language. Some churches realize this and define adultery as being sex by a married person with someone besides the spouse. They define fornication as sex between two unmarried people. They are on the right track in making a distinction between the two words, but have missed the principle behind them.

For the most ancient and accurate definition we must look to the Hebrew:

Fornication is translated from the Hebrew ZÂNÂH and the Greek PORNEIA. In connection with sex ZÂNÂH implies some type of prostitution – either playing the roll of a prostitute or using a prostitute. On the other hand, more often than not it is used in the Bible to imply an act that has nothing to do with sex. Strong’s Concordance defines it as “committing idolatry.”

Time and time again in the scriptures when the heart of the people of Israel or Jerusalem left the true God and worshipped idols they were said to be committing fornication.

Adultery comes from NÂ’APH and we all know the common meaning here. In addition to referring to sexual betrayal it is also used to label one who has drifted away from God or the true teachings from God.

How does idolatry correspond to prostitution?

A prostitute receives sex for money with no exchange of the love energy. The prostitute only gives him tenderness when she receives something in return. Without the exchange of love there is only physical effects and satisfaction.

On the other hand, when one finds a faithful and loving wife sex is exchanged with no money involved. Both receive fulfillment through love that goes beyond physical satisfaction. Faithful companions give to each other even when there is no money or physical benefit in sight.

Idolatry is very similar to prostitution in that the idol commands your physical attention and some type of payment or sacrifice. The idol gives not of true love, but only the illusion of fulfillment. When the relationship is over the person walks away from the idol empty-handed.

On the other hand, if one sees the invisible God as the partner in a marriage relationship he will dedicate his life to such a being and receive the true benefit of love in return. Like the faithful spouse God does not demand physical payment for fleeting pleasure, but instead commands your heart and loyalty in return for love that never dies.

Here is a scripture that tells us that the city of Tyre has committed fornication because she is playing the roll of a prostitute.

“Take an harp, go about the city, thou harlot that hast been forgotten; make sweet melody, sing many songs, that thou mayest be remembered.

And it shall come to pass after the end of seventy years, that the LORD will visit Tyre, and she shall turn to her hire, and shall commit fornication with all the kingdoms of the world upon the face of the earth.” Isa 23:16-17

Here is another one telling us that Jerusalem is committing a similar error:

“But thou (Jerusalem) didst trust in thine own beauty, and playedst the harlot because of thy renown, and pouredst out thy fornications (ZÂNÂH) on every one that passed by; his it was. And of thy garments thou didst take, and deckedst thy high places with divers colours, and playedst the harlot thereupon: the like things shall not come, neither shall it be so. Thou hast also taken thy fair jewels of my gold and of my silver, which I had given thee, and madest to thyself images of men, and didst commit whoredom (ZÂNÂH – fornicaton) with them.” Ezek 16:15-17

Here we are told as plain as word can be that Jerusalem committed fornication through idolatry and not sex.

The scriptures also use adultery in symbolic ways not involving sex:

“And I said after she had done all these things, Turn thou unto me. But she returned not. And her treacherous sister Judah saw it. And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce… And it came to pass through the lightness of her whoredom, that she defiled the land, and committed adultery with stones and with stocks.” Jer 3:7-9

Here Judah betrayed God and this non sexual betrayal was called adultery. Because of this God said that he was giving her a bill of divorcement.

Here is a scripture where both the words are used implying that there are two different meanings.

“But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,” Gal 5:18-19

Here is a scripture that clearly tells us that fornication has a meaning that differs from adultery.

“Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.” I Cor 7:2

Paul tells us that marriage will help us avoid fornication. On the other hand, one cannot commit adultery unless he is married.

Many times in the scriptures the word fornication is used in connection with idols or sacrifices made thereto. Here are some examples:

“But I have a few things against thee, because thou hast there them that hold the doctrine of Balaam, who taught Balac to cast a stumblingblock before the children of Israel, to eat things sacrificed unto idols, and to commit fornication.” Rev 2:14

“Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols.” Rev 2:20

Notice in these two examples that fornication is linked strongly to idolatry and also to false teachings. This indicates that a form of fornication is to have a true teacher or teaching and embrace a false one that may sound good and easy, but is as illusionary as an idol.

Note that Jesus himself tells us that adultery is not always a physical act:

“Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” Matt 5:27-28

He also said that fornication comes from the heart:

“For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:” Matt 15:19

If therefore one can commit adultery and fornication within the heart and can carry out this error in ways that do not involve sex would this not also mean that the scriptures would also sanctify divorce in cases that do not involve sex, but instead the condition of the heart?

With this in mind let us again examine the scripture in question:

“But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.” Matt. 5:32

A justifiable cause of divorce is therefore fornication. If one thus takes his heart away from his spouse and puts it on an idol (idolized person) in place of the spouse he has therefore committed fornication.

This makes a lot of sense when you think of it. Who wants to stay married to someone who does not have his or her heart dedicated to you? Such a marriage is indeed lifeless and if the hearts cannot be joined again in unity divorce can actually be a beneficial option. It only makes sense that the couple should do everything within their power to join again the hearts as one before considering this final solution.

I believe the core meaning was left out of the above scripture. Let me quote it again with additional light in parenthesis.

“But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, (her love and heart is not with you) causeth her to commit adultery: (If her heart is with you and you leave her she violates her heart if she joins with another) and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced (her heart belongs to the previous spouse) committeth adultery (you are having sex with one whose heart belongs to another).” Matt. 5:32

Speaking of heart, does this interpretation not settle better with your heart than the demand that two people not joined in the heart being forced to stay together?

May 16, 2000

Copyright by J J Dewey

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Relationships

Joseph Dewey

Book Of Quotes

Inspirational, Spiritual & Metaphysical Quotes

From The Writings Of JJ Dewey

1.  “A person may use common sense principles in their business and have great success, yet let all reason fly out the window in their relationships or with their religion.”

2.  “The more spheres of relationship available to magnetic pull the greater the manifestation of love.”

3.  “The initiative to tread the path of love is yours alone, but our growth in love as well as light is dependent on others to a great degree.”

4.  “The relationship of humanity to Christ has not been sufficient the past 2000 years and have indeed lacked a fullness as was prophesied by Saul.”

5.  “There is nothing wrong with any relationship if pursued harmlessly by free will.”

6.  “The principle to work toward in all relationships is the balancing of energies.”

7.  “The greatest balance is achieved by a one-to-one relationship when we are talking about anything involving sex.”

8.  “Even the Great Ones depend on relationship for growth and higher learning.”

9.  “If we are complete by ourselves then any type of relationship would be completely unnecessary and there would be no association which would benefit or enhance us in any way.”

10.  “If you are not married, or seem to have no prospects, do not despair for it is quite possible that you will learn more through non marriage relationships than through marriage itself.”

11.  “Remember this. Marriage is a relationship, but it is only one relationship out of many.”

12.  “It is indeed true that we must have relationship for us to progress on the path of return and if we are not married we must examine the relationships we do have and make the best of them.”

13.  “The relationships you do have in present time are very important; else your soul would not have brought them to you.”

14.  “If it is indeed in the design of God that you be married you will feel it when the time is right, but until that time it is best to live in the world where we find ourselves and see the many opportunities to serve in the relationships available in the Now. They are always there to be found.”

15.  “The thread of commonality which goes through all relationships is that our circumstances in each life are arranged by our souls in such a manner to aid with our maximum advancement toward progress, service and wholeness.”

16.  “All creation is composed of relationships.”

17.  “Without relationship there would be no form, no creation, no intelligence, no love and no universe.”

18.  “Some seekers have made the claim that they have evolved beyond relationship, that they need no one else besides themselves, but such is an illusion.”

19.  “Whether we want to admit it or not all of us are deeply involved in relationship.”

20.  “God himself needs us in relationship and if God should need us for relationship then surely we need God and each other.”

21.  “Eventually we will have levels of higher relationship never before experienced which we call the Molecular Relationship.”

22.  “As it is, none of us have a perfect relationship, nor should we expect one, for we are all individuals. We can, however, seek to have a fulfilling one, especially when the desired energy flow is understood.”

23.  “When the time is right a good romantic partner will come into your life. In the meantime a working non romantic partner will work much better than a spouse who does not support you.”

24.  “A major cause and effect of discord in relationships is arguing.”

25.  “Affection is extremely important in a male-female relationship. It is the glue that cements the bond leading to oneness.”

26.  “A yielding nature is essential to create oneness in any relationship and it must be possessed by both parties.”

27.  “Each one of us will be much happier when we realize that criticism, insults (real and imagined) and barbs will come whenever we have a relationship with one or more people.”

28.  “In a relationship, you both give and receive, but the giving and receiving is NEVER equal in this world. If you are giving more than receiving, then by default you become the teacher in the relationship.”

29.  “When one divorces frivolously, on a whim, or because of betrayal with another person, definite harm can come. It is generally recognized that a committed couple, especially with children should do everything in their power to rekindle their love and live together in peace.”

30.  “You can’t please everyone so just be you, do your best and move on with harmlessness.”

31.  “All unhappiness in any relationship can be traced back to a failure to communicate by one or both parties.”

32.  “Put aside negative feelings and move on, explore and learn from each other.”

33.  “It is our responsibility as a species to take relationship to its next great beginning.”

34.  “There are times to learn and share through marriage and times to learn through other relationships.”

35.  “No one has ever been truly happy in a relationship who has not had a hope of unity or union with others.”

36.  “All people feel a need for more union than they have at the present moment.”

37.  “It is important to contemplate the root source of happiness. It can be summed up in one sentence: Interaction with others that leads to unity.”

38.  “Ending a relationship with openness and honesty instead of deceit and betrayal keeps the door open for progress on the spiritual path.”

39.  “Eventually all must learn to master the intimate relationship on the road to liberation and unity.”

40.  “There is indeed a principle of forgiveness, but it has much more to do with a person’s relationship with his own soul than good or evil or a decree from God.”

41.  “People are following the principle of harmlessness when they have learned to control their emotional bodies to the extent that they are able to practice right thought, speech and action in their relationships with others, themselves and their environment. It means they have a constructive and positive approach to everything they do.”

42.  “The relationships we have with each other and the influence we wield is a display in miniature of the influences of the planets and other heavenly bodies.”

43.  “Many teachers from the other side who work with humanity are fellow disembodied humans and are not Masters. A relationship with these beings would be much more similar to a relationship with a fellow human on the earth than a disciple to a Master.”

44.  “To disagree because of unnecessary illusion and misunderstanding creates waste of time and distance in relationship.”

45.  “The stars do not yet have an organization as complex as a human city. They do have relationship, but they are simple relationships and even these relationships are created more through the interplay of advanced lives who have passed through the human kingdom rather than that of the actual solar life force itself.”

46.  “We owe our vary existence to the intimate relationships of the tiny lives out of which we are composed.”

47.  “Many there are who teach oneness with God yet fail to have a relationship with even one human, out of billions available, where a semblance of oneness is demonstrated.”

48.  “When Jesus said “I and my Father are one,”  He merely reached a realization of the relationship of His own holy spirit in relationship to God and this principle applies to us all when we attain to “the stature of the fullness of Christ.”

49.  “In principle, ‘A Course in Miracles’ is the best relationship book that’s ever been written, a totally new light on principles. There is elaboration on principles on relationships in there that have never been given to mankind before.”

50.  “The relationship of the Masters such as Christ to the higher permanent inhabitants of Shamballa corresponds to the human relationship to the Masters.”

51.  “The true science of astrology is built around the science of relationships. The principle is this. One living being in relationship with another living being will influence that entity.”

52.  “Relationship and the establishment of new and greater relationship is an eternal principle.”

53.  “Forget for the moment about any mass appearance of the Christ and instead consider your individual relationship with God.”

54.  “The most important area of trust in a marriage relationship is love.”

 

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Copyright by J J Dewey

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