To Marry or Not

To Marry or Not

There are two views on the subject of marriage that are out of balance with the midway point of truth.

View Number One. We are complete within ourselves and marriage or even close relationships are unnecessary.

If we are complete within and do not need anyone else then why did God create the universe with billions of inhabited planets and place us on one of them with billions of other people?

If we are complete by ourselves then any type of relationship would be completely unnecessary and there would be no association which would benefit or enhance us in any way.

The Course in Miracles wisely points out that even God is incomplete without each of us joining with Him. Here are some interesting quotes:

“His joy is not complete because yours is incomplete.”

“How can he enter, to rest and to remember, without you? Except you be there, he is not complete. And it is his completion that he remembers there.”

“This is the purpose given you. Think not that your forgiveness of your brother serves but you two alone. For the whole new world rests in the hands of every two who enter here to rest. And as they rest, the face of Christ shines on them and they remember the laws of God, forgetting all the rest and yearning only to have His laws perfectly fulfilled in them and all their brothers. Think you when this has been achieved that you will rest without them? You could no more leave one of them outside than I could leave you, and forget part of myself.”

“For what but Christ is there to see and hear and love and follow home? He looked upon you first, but recognized that you were not complete. And so He sought for your completion in each living thing that He beholds and loves.”


“Fantasies become totally unnecessary as the wholly satisfying nature of reality becomes apparent to both giver and receiver. Reality is “lost” through usurpation, which produces tyranny. As long as a single “slave” remains to walk the earth, your release is not complete. Complete restoration of the Sonship is the only goal of the miracle-minded.”

“Yet what God has created cannot be replaced. God is incomplete without you because His grandeur is total, and you cannot be missing from it. You are altogether irreplaceable in the Mind of God. No one else can fill your part in it, and while you leave your part of it empty your eternal place merely waits for your return.”

“Without you there would be a lack in God, a Heaven incomplete, a Son without a Father. There could be no universe and no reality. For what God wills is whole, and part of Him because His Will is One.”

“You are indeed essential to God’s plan. Without your joy, His joy is incomplete. Without your smile, the world cannot be saved. While you are sad, the light that God Himself appointed as the means to save the world is dim and lusterless, and no one laughs because all laughter can but echo yours.”

“Just as your light increases every light that shines in Heaven, so your joy on earth calls to all minds to let their sorrows go, and take their place beside you in God’s plan.” End Quotes

The basic idea here is that God himself needs all of us for his own completeness and in turn we need each other. As each of us fulfills the mission of Christ in us we reach out to our brothers and sisters upon the path and assist them in their journey to the presence of God. Each of us takes one more step toward completion as we effectively serve the wholeness of the creation of God by assisting the part, even if it is only one individual soul who is walking in darkness, yet seeking light.

View Number Two:

Without marriage your life is incomplete and you will not achieve your full purpose.

This view is equally incorrect. This idea would be logical if we only had one life to live. To live only one a few short years and to pass away without knowing what it is like to love and be loved on an intimate level would indeed leave one feeling short changed.

But such is not the case, for each of us lives many lives and a successful fulfillment of each life creates a step for us in the path toward completion.

In some lives you will have a difficult marriage and others a happy one. In some lives you will be single, but others you will be married. There are times to learn and share through marriage and times to learn through other relationships.

The thread of commonality which goes through all relationships is that our circumstances in each life are arranged by our souls in such a manner to aid with our maximum advancement toward progress, service and wholeness.

Therefore, if you are not married, or seem to have no prospects, do not despair for it is quite possible that you will learn more through non marriage relationships than through marriage itself.

Remember this. Marriage is a relationship, but it is only one relationship out of many. It is indeed true that we must have relationship for us to progress on the path of return and if we are not married we must examine the relationships we do have and make the best of them. The relationships you do have in present time are very important, else your soul would not have brought them to you.

If it is indeed in the design of God that you be married you will feel it when the time is right, but until that time it is best to live in the world where we find ourselves and see the many opportunities to serve in the relationships available in the Now. They are always there to be found.

March 9, 2001

Copyright by J J Dewey 

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