The Gold Standard, Part 4

This entry is part 30 of 50 in the series 2011A

Einstein’s Greatest Error

“But,” says the gold standard advocate, “you can’t have indefinite expansion. After any period of inflation, expansion and prosperity we have to pay the piper and a period of contraction must take hold. This is the big advantage of the gold standard. Even though, it is painful it causes necessary cycles of contraction.”

But why should a period of contraction even be necessary? Does such an idea correspond to nature? Well, let us look at our universe. It has not only been constantly expanding since its creation over 14 billion years ago, but at the present time the rate of expansion is increasing! Some scientists predicted an expanding universe, but not one expected to find that it is increasing its speed of expansion.

Einstein’s original calculations predicted an expanding universe but this idea went against his belief system so he altered his equations to get the answer he wanted. Later when Edwin Hubble’s observations proved the universe was indeed expanding Einstein admitted that his rejection of an expanding universe was the biggest mistake of his life.

And what caused Einstein’s greatest error?

It was not his logic for his original math and reason told him the universe would be expanding. The cause of his error was his belief system got in the way and prevented him from looking at the math without filters.

Are economists making the same mistake? Many of them are telling us that we can only expand for so long and then we must have a depression or recession. Is their belief that all good things must end interfering with the wonderful truth that we can increase and economically expand indefinitely just as the universe itself is doing?

“But how can the economy expand indefinitely? If we overspend then a correction has to come,” says the skeptic.

The problem is that solid economic expansion does not involve wild overspending as many seem to think. What is overlooked is there are two types of economic expansion. Let us illustrate.

Example One: The Smith Family has been working hard and has been struggling to make ends meet. They’ve wanted to get a new car as well as vacation in Europe but the money to do so never seems to show up. Finally, they decided they deserved some of the better things in life and took out a substantial loan against the equity in their house. This loan was like a windfall and they began spending liberally.

In the eyes of their friends it appeared that the Smiths were experiencing an economic boom.

Then the time came the money ran out and the Smith’s expenditures were more than their income. Instead of taking belt-tightening measures they decided they didn’t want to give up their new lifestyle and borrowed to the max on every credit card they had.

For the next two years their friends thought the Smiths were having a continuing economic boom.

Finally the day of reckoning came and the Smith’s couldn’t borrow enough to pay their bills. At that time their economic world collapsed and they lost everything.

Yes, the Smith’s had to pay the piper for their apparent economic boom, but do all expansions have to end this way?


Example Two:

The Jones family started out in the same situation. They also wanted some of the nicer things in life. They realized they could take out an extra mortgage on their home but decided against it because if this was all they did they would have difficulty in paying it back. They also didn’t like the idea of their hard earned money going into interest payments that merely financed luxuries.

Mr. Jones tells the family, “If we want some luxuries and do not want to suffer the burden of loans we cannot pay back then the only solution is to increase our income. Any suggestions?”

Mrs. Jones spoke up. “I have one. I will go back to work and this will give us the money we need to pay back the loan we are going to take out.”

“But we didn’t want to take out a loan for luxuries,” he said.

“I’m not talking about a loan for luxuries, but for seed money to start that internet business you’ve been thinking of for years. The money from my job can pay back the loan so even if your business fails miserably we will be no worse off financially than we are now. On the other hand, if you succeed then we can not only pay back the loan but we can buy a lot of things we have dreamed of for years.”

The family thought this was a good idea and moved forward with the plan. After two years the business proved a success, they paid back the loan and both Mr. and Mrs. Jones quit their day jobs to work their new business full time.

“Shall we buy some of those luxuries now?” asked Mrs. Smith.

“We could,” said her husband but I have some new ideas for the business that could pay off big time. If we take our extra money and invest in expansion there is a good chance that in a couple more years that we can buy any luxury we want.”

Mrs. Jones was reluctant but agreed and the family continued focusing on expanding and two years later the business and money supply grew just as anticipated.

At that time the Jones took some of their extra money and bought a few things they had wanted over the years. But most important they learned the rules of true expansion and only put money at risk that they could afford to lose.

They continued to apply these lessons and expanded their business, income and savings until they retired. Then they turned their business over to their kids who continued to apply the same common sense approach and the business continued to expand.

Now some may wonder why I am giving simplistic stories illustrating the obvious.

First, I might note that the truth behind these stories must be far from obvious.


Because our best and brightest that we hire (elect) and send to Congress seem oblivious to the common sense of the Jones family and, instead, act like the inept Smiths.

Secondly, many who are considered the best and brightest in the economic world believe we are eternally doomed to the fate of the Smith family. They tell us that any continued expansion of the money supply is like borrowing money on a credit card and must be followed by either collapse or deflation.

They overlook the fact that there are two ways to increase the money supply.

The first is to copy the Smiths and borrow the money with no sensible way to pay it back. Unfortunately this insane path is supported by the most intelligent people we can manage to vote into office.

Overlooked is the fact that there is a second way. If we increase our money supply using common sense principles, as did the Jones, then the economy never needs to contract but the money supply and economic growth can continue indefinitely just as happened in the story of the Jones and illustrated in the expansion of the universe itself.

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The Gold Standard, Part 3

This entry is part 29 of 50 in the series 2011A

The Problem of Deflation

There are a number of arguments made for returning to a gold standard. One of them is that the economy will be more stable. Unfortunately, as we have just illustrated, this has not been historically the case.

It is true that one can find other reasons than problems with gold and silver for many of the crises during the metallic years, but one can do the same thing concerning fiat money since 1933 or 1972 when we were taken off the gold standard.

The fact is that we have had monetary problems with or without the gold/silver standard including the Great Depression during the standard and the Great Recession starting 2008 without it. It is a sad fact that there is a factor involved much more dangerous than what is the basis for our money and that is the human frailties of those who control or have access to the nation’s wealth. We not only need a sound money system but something needs put in place that will limit the damage our fearless leaders can do to it.

So, two things need to be in place if we are to have a consistently good economy. First a sound money system and secondly sound management over the money.

That said; let us continue examining the pros and cons of possible foundations of our money supply, the first half of any monetary solution.

Those who support the gold standard make a number of additional arguments in its favor. Right up there with the belief that it makes for a more stable economy is that it puts overspending in check and thus limits inflation.

Now it is true that if we had a pure gold standard (which we have never had) where each dollar spent was backed up 100% with gold and fully redeemable in gold then deficit spending would be very difficult but not impossible. They would most likely create some I.O.U. or promissory note system that would evolve into fiat money like we have today. Then as soon as there was a major crisis what’s left of the gold standard would be thrown out the window as it has been so many times in the past.

Before we had the graduated income tax the gold standard helped to reign in spending but now that it is in place our leaders have the power of unlimited taxation. If a gold standard limited the government’s ability to create inflationary dollars then they would just seek to tax us more and after they drained the last possible dollar from all taxpayers, rich and poor, they would find a way to negate the discipline of the gold standard so they could borrow and spend even more.

All governments are like addicts. They are addicted to spending and will do anything to get their fix. This tells us that a logical money system only supplies us with part of the solution. The other part has to come from the citizens. They must control their employees – our government representatives. This means that any monetary system by itself is not a magic bullet. Even so, the basis of money is the foundation of our economy and all possible solutions must be examined.

We must create the best possible foundation for money and the people must make sure the contractors creating the rest of the building remain honest and do the job we hired them to accomplish.

While it is true that the economies of the nations of the world have had their problems on and off the gold standard it is true that historically a gold or gold-silver standard does hold inflation in check better than pure fiat money. Some gold standard advocates go so far as to insist that and ounce of gold has always been worth the same amount over the centuries – which is an ounce of gold.

This is not logical thinking and is like saying an ounce of silver is worth the same now as it always has been just because it’s an ounce of silver, or a gallon of oil equals a gallon of oil. If gold and silver are always worth the same amount then their ratio of value should be fairly stable. Since there is 17.5 times more silver in the earth’s crust than gold in 1792 the Congress originally set the ratio value at 15:1, very close to the natural ratio. This ratio was problematic so they raised it to 16:1 in 1834. Since going off the artificial bimetallic standard the ratio has fluctuated from about 12:1 to 100:1.

Some of the fluctuations have occurred over a fairly short period of time. For instance, in 1980 the ratio was 17:1 and then in 1991 jut leaped to 100:1. Around the 2008 meltdown it was 80:1 and by 2011 it hovered around 50:1.

So, if a metallic money is always has the same intrinsic value then why the huge fluctuations in ratio? There’s no reason to believe that an ounce of gold always has the same value any more than an ounce of silver.

The fact is that even though gold and silver have held a high basic value over the centuries their value has fluctuated quite a lot. Whereas the fluctuation of fiat money is almost always toward inflation the precious metals go both ways. Sometimes their value is inflated and other times they suffer deflation. This is proclaimed to be a good thing, but is it?

A drastically overlooked fact by gold standard advocates is that, while too much inflation is admittedly a problem, any equal amount of deflation is much worse.

Let us take the deflation and inflation of the housing market before and after 2008. Before the housing meltdown it often took only a year or two for a home to increase in value 20%. Was there a big crises when this happened? No. Were homeowners complaining? Not really. Instead, they were bragging about their increased assets.

Was there a problem for anyone? There was some problem for buyers but because the interest rate was low, and they felt their purchase was a good investment, few were complaining.

Then as we approached the meltdown of 2008 home prices began to fall. Depending on the area of the country it did not take long before a corresponding 20% drop in prices was witnessed.

Was the problem of a 20% deflation equal in severity to a 20% inflation?

Not by a long shot.

Whereas most people saw the last 20% inflation as a minor annoyance the deflation of our real estate has caused untold grief and stimulated an economic collapse that has diminished all areas of our financial lives.

The same goes for inflation and deflation of money in general. A measured inflation decreases the purchasing power of our money, but because wages also go up most people deal with it as a minor inconvenience.

On the other hand, even a small amount of deflation can spell disaster for people in a number of ways not seen with normal inflation. Here are some.

(1) Those with high mortgages will see the amount they owe become more than the value of their house. This gives them incentive to not pay the loan and let the property go to foreclosure.

(2) Overall deflation is particularly hard on those who are in debt of any kind and have to use loans to finance their business. Agriculture always suffers with deflation. The price of commodities sinks whereas debt rises.

(3) In times of deflation money supply is tight, financing is difficult, investment is down, unemployment is high and overall life is miserable for those affected.

The most famous period of extended deflation was The Great Depression. Between 1929-1933 the money supply decreased by about 33% followed by the money income falling by a whopping 53%. In addition the velocity of money fell by about a third – this is the number of times existing money changes hands.

The wholesale price index decreased by 32%, the consumer price index dropped 23% and farmers received 52% less for their products. In addition, the value of global imports and exports decreased by almost 60%.

Then to top it all off unemployment went from 3.2% in 1929 to 25.2% in 1933.

You get the picture. The greatest contraction corresponded to the greatest depression.

Data taken from:
Monetary Central Planning and the State, Part 11: The Great Depression and the Crisis of Government Intervention by Richard M. Ebeling, November 1997. online book at:

A Monetary History of the United States, 1867-1960; Milton Friedman & Anna Jacobson Schwartz, Pages 301-302

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Hell on Earth, Part 11

This entry is part 28 of 50 in the series 2011A

From page 302, The Rocky Mountain Saints

I was at a Sunday meeting in Provo, when the news of the San Pete castration was referred to by the presiding bishop-Blackburn. Some men in Provo had rebelled against authority, and Blackburn shouted in his Sunday meeting-a mixed congregation of all ages and both sexes I want the people of Provo to understand that the boys in Provo can use the knife as well as the boys in San Pete. Boys, get your knives ready, there is work for you! We must not be behind San Pete in good works.’

“This man, Blackburn, was continued in office at least a year after this, and was afterwards taken from his bishopric and sent on a mission to England.

“Many young women were forced to break off engagements with young men whom they loved, to gratify a bishop’s preference, a missionary’s feelings or a great elder’s desires.”

– From Apostle Kimball’s Sermon:-

“ I would not be afraid to promise a man who is 60 years of age, if he -will take the counsel of Brother Brigham and his brethren, he will renew his age. I have noticed that a man who has but one wife, and is inclined to that doctrine, soon begins to wither and dry up, while a man who goes into plurality looks fresh, young and sprightly. Why is this? Because God loves that man, and because he honors his work and word. Some of you may not believe this; but I not only believe it, but I also know it. For a man of God to be confined to one woman is small business, for it is as much as we can do to keep under the burdens we have to carry, and do not know what we should do if we only had one woman apiece.”

From a “Sermon” delivered by Dr. Clinton, Justice of the Peace. Speaking of some men and women that he was not exactly pleased with and after using language unfit for publication, the Doctor said:-

“ They ought to be shot with a double-barreled shot gun. That is my doctrine; take a double-barrelled shot gun and follow them, and when you catch them, shoot them to pieces. I am the Justice of the Peace, I an the-Coroner of the County, but I will never ‘find’ you, I will guarantee that.”

Bishop E. Wooley followed the J. P., and said:- “I would do as the Doctor says, KILL THEM * * * Tear down their houses. THERE IS NO HELP FOR THEM * * * we will do as the Doctor said, and have a clean record.” Salt Lake Daily Review, extra.

One of the “Apostles was to be privileged with the honour of pulling the nose of little Vic.! ‘ (Queen Victoria).” Rocky Mountain Saints, p. 206.

27 years ago the American Government sent an Army to Utah to whip the Mormons into obedience of law and order. But the Mormons were victorious. There was a “high old time” in Utah. The Priest Journalist on page 372 Rocky Mountain Saints says:-” It was the gayest time ever known in Utah, dancing and theatrical amusements everywhere, while the songs of the Mormon camps, adapted to the popular negro melodies were heard in all their assemblies. The Sunday worship was enlivened with the jovial chorus of Dudah.’ After partaking of the Lord’s supper the following was sung,

‘There’s seven hundred wagons on the way, Du dah!

And their cattle are numerous, so they say, Du dah! du dah day!

Now, to let them perish would be a sin, Du dah!

So we’ll take all they’ve got for bringing them in, Du dah! Du dah day!

CHORUS.-Then let us be on hand, by Brigham Young to stand,

And if our enemies do appear, we’ll sweep them off the land.. ‘Old Sam has sent, I understand, Du dah!

A Missouri ass to rule our land, Du dah! Du dah day!

But if he comes, we’ll have some fun, Du Dab!

To see him and his juries run, Du dah! Du dah day.

CHORUS.-Then let us be on hand, &c.

Old Squaw-killer Harney is on the way, Du dab!

The Mormon people for to slay, Du dab! Du dab day

Now if he comes the truth tell, Du dah!

Our boys will drive him down to hell, Du dab! Du dah day!”

CHORUS.-Then let us be on hand, &c.

“It is too lengthy to give entire-about 16 verses.-From such lyrical effusions as these, sung during divine worship’ in the Tabernacle, the elevated tone of the sermons can be imagined.”

“During this Mormon War,’ the Saints,’ who were ‘spoiling for a fight,’ burned two provision trains, one of 31 and the other of 23 wagons, and drove off their animals, causing great want in the Army. The American officer in command, having no use for 80 of the teamsters after the wagons were burnt, discharged them. They concluded to go to California. In passing through Salt Lake City, a Mormon armed guard was furnished to see-them safe through. The following is a copy of the “ orders “ in regard to these teamsters:-Life in Utah, p. 194.

SALT LAKE CITY, April 9th, 1858.

“The (Mormon) officer in command of escort is hereby ordered to see that every man is well prepared with ammunition and have it ready at the-time you see those teamsters a hundred miles from the settlements. President Young advises that they should be all killed. Every precaution should betaken, and see that not one escapes. Secrecy is required.

“By order of General Daniel. H. Wells.

“JAMES FERGUSON, Assistant Adjutant General.”

Brigham had a Revelation how to emigrate the “Saints,” in which the-Saints were shown how to haul their baggage and food over the plains and ‘mountains in hand carts. This went forth with the stamp of Divinity. “God had revealed it; “ this was the “Divine Plan” of emigration. Think of it, Ladies, fancy pulling a cart with 200 lbs. of baggage over mountains and dales, 1,500 miles. On they trudge pulling the carts. When in the midst of the Rocky Mountains, tremendous snow storms came on. In the heavy snow its hard to pull the carts.

The Revelation promised fine weather. Now their faith fails them; weary and hungry their souls faint within them. Their food, scant at best, nearly gone; they wade rivers and no dry clothing, no rest. What a Divine Plan! Several leading Mormons camped with them one night, made them kill their last calf and ate hearty of their scant provisions; ‘in the morning these kind Mormon gentlemen drove their carriages through the river and waited on the opposite bank to see the women drag their carts through, then bade them good morning and sped on their way, leaving these poor dupes to get to Zion as best they could, finally reduced to starvation, and in the heavy drifting snow 250 souls perished. The reader can get full particulars of this horrid affair in The Rocky Mountain Saints, or at my lectures, where they will also see the pictures of the incidents related in my book besides several others, which space precludes my giving here.

The following is from Mrs. Smith’s “Fifteen Years among the Mormons,” pp. 309:-

“The widow of Hartley, 22 years old, is the most heart broken human being I ever saw. Dressed n deep black, the unrelieved picture of woe she presented, excited our curiosity and sympathy. Accompanied by my sister, went to her, and after some delay and the assurance, that although we were Mormons, we were yet women, she told us her brief story, without a tear; yet with an expression of hopeless sorrow which I shall never forget. Oh! Mormonism is too hard-too cruel upon women. Will it be permitted for ever?

“It was not until I had suggested to her, that perhaps I had also a woe to unburden, as the result of my Mormon life, which might have some comparison to her own, that she commenced by saying:-

“ You may have suffered; and if you have been a Mormon wife, you must have known sorrow. But the cruelty of my own fate, I am sure, is without a parallel, even in this land of. cruelty.

“I married Jesse Hartly, knowing he was a Gentile,’ but that made no difference with me, although I was a Mormon, because he was a noble man, and sought only the right. By being my husband, he was brought into closer contact with the members of the Church, and was thus soon enabled to learn many things about the Heads of the Church, that he did not approve, and of which I was ignorant, although I had been brought up among the Saints; and which, if known among the Gentiles’ would have greatly damaged us. I do not understand all he discovered, or all he did; but they found he had written against the Church, and the Prophet required as an atonement for his sins that he should lay down his life.

That he should be sacrificed in the Endowment House, where human sacrifices are made. They kill those there who have committed sins too great to be atoned for in any other way. The Prophet says, if they submit to this he can save them; otherwise they are lost. Oh! that is horrible. But my husband refused to be sacrificed, and so set out alone for the United States. I told him when he left me, and left his child, that he would be killed, and so he was. William Hickman and another Danite, shot him in the canyons. My child soon followed after its father, and I hope to die also for why should I live? Here the murderers of my husband curse the earth, and roll in affluence unpunished.

“She had finished her sad story, and we were choking down our sobs of pity in silence, when she rose saying, I trust you will excuse me,’ and went away, still wearing the same stony expression of agony, as when we first saw her. But this is but one case among a thousand others, that have never seen the light, and never will, until the dark history of the Danites,’ or Destroying Angels,’ is unveiled.”

In a work by Mrs. A. G. Paddock, “The Fate of Madame La Tour,’ page 296, is the following:-

“ During 1870 and 1871 the juries empanelled by the United States. Marshall were composed altogether of Gentiles and seceders from the Mormon Church.

“During these years one hundred and twenty nine persons were indicted for the commission of murders, unspeakable mutilations, and other atrocious crimes.

These Juries not having been empannelled according to the laws of Utah – everyone of these indictments were set aside and the accused all set free.

“More polygamous marriages were contracted during 1880 than during any year since the settlement of the Territory.”-]bid, p. 324.

“An Englishwoman, who a few years ago abandoned her husband and children for the purpose of gathering with the Saints to Zion, has been divorced and re-married five times since she came to Utah. Another, after being divorced from five husbands, is now living in Polygamy with the sixth. A district judge reports the case of a Saintess, living near the place in which he holds court, who has been divorced fourteen times.-Ibid, p. 342.

I now extract from “The Prophets, or Mormonism Unveiled,” by a lady who had a fearful experience in Zion. It is published by Wm. White Smith,. 195, Chestnut Street, Philadelphia, U. S. On page 255, she says:-” This modern pandemonium, in which vice unchecked ran riot, would have rivaled Hades in its motley crew. It was a safe retreat for the forger and bogus. coiner, house thief, and murderer. I should not dare to chronicle it had not others done so, as well as the passing papers of the day, and they have never been disproved.”

This lady tells a fearful tale of a wife who killed the other wife of her husband. The story is too long to give entire, but from it I glean as follows:-

“A wife, who refused to consent to the plural marriage, cautioned her husband not to trifle with her feelings: that if the unnatural knot was tied death should speedily sever it. Notwithstanding this, one evening at suppertime, the husband returned from the Endowment House with his new bride; the wife sternly commanded the intruder to leave the house at once, or submit to the consequence. This was all she said. The husband escorted his bride to her room and bade her prepare for supper.

The bride, of course, must obey her husband and not his wife; and having arrayed herself gorgeously for the occasion, the husband conducted her to the table to partake of the evening repast with the family. The wife, always a woman of few words, seated herself at the table also, and remained silent. But still waters run deep,’ and away down in the depths of that woman’s heart were feelings unutterable. And while the husband and bride were exchanging loving glances and affectionate words, the wife and mother was deciding in her mind how best to end this fearful torture.

A serious mental struggle ensued; finally the predominating thoughts were, ‘Why should I make my children motherless? How can, I destroy myself and leave my dear children to the care of this hated intruder? No, never! I cannot; I will not. But to live on in this state is impossible; to be constantly worried in mind over this will either dethrone reason or hurry me to a premature grave. This must not, shall not happen.’

The idea now uppermost in her mind was slay the rival,’ and thus put an end to all this vexation. This decided the matter. ‘Death shall end what folly and crime began.’ The supper ended, the husband and his bride retire. The husband partly turned and said, ‘Good night! ‘ to his wife. Imagine the feelings of that wife as she witnessed the disgusting and revolting scene. Her husband who swore at the marriage altar in England ‘to forsake all others,’ had now forsaken her to revel in the unlawful embraces of another; and in her own house and before her very eyes, this wrong was being perpetrated.

This was more than human nature could endure. She had already decided, now she felt an irresistible force urging her on to slay the guilty pair. But she reasoned, is he not the father of my children. She gave a deep sigh, then softly the words escaped her lips, with all his faults I love him still.’ Then she hesitated for a moment, and concluded to spare him, but she would teach him that night that two wives could not live in that house. She thought of the dagger her husband had given her to protect herself in his absence. Now she would protect herself from this intruder in his presence with that very weapon. Grasping the dagger she silently approached the door of the bride-chamber and listened. Then peeping through the key hole she saw in that bright moonlight what she should never have seen.

“Her brain reeled, and sinking to the floor, she remained a long time in a dreamy, half-conscious state. The moon’s bright beams had ascended still higher, and every object stood revealed in silvery light when she once more peeped into that room, and now they slept, and the sight of the peaceful slumber of her rival, reposing on that breast which should have been all her own, again aroused the demon in her heart; she tried the door: it was locked. She thought of the window, which was on the ground floor, and having no fastening, she could easily reach it from the garden. Proceeding thither she raised the sash, quietly crept in, bent over her rival, marked the smooth, beautiful brow, the finely chiseled features, and full voluptuous form, and contrasted them with her own faded beauty, once as lovely as that before her, but now with the roseate hues faded-faded in his service, and now trampled upon as valueless.

She gloated over the sleeping victim, then the steel glittered once in the air, descended, and was raised reeking with the victim’s life’s blood! Again it descended, when the temporarily insane wife leaped through the window, fled to her room and caressed her sleeping babes!

The terrible sequence of this horrible affair is too lengthy to give here, for I could go back to that bride chamber and detail the death of the bride who expired accusing her husband; how she was quietly buried in the garden with her mother who had silently yielded up her troubled soul on her murdered child’s bosom. It was indeed a blessing for that broken hearted and widowed mother to die, within a few hours after her only child had ceased to live. And when afterward the husband found out the truth of the matter-it was as he had supposed-and now that the affair was hushed up, the husband and wife passed on in their career as if nothing had occurred, although her’s was not the first blood that cried aloud to heaven for vengeance on betrayed and murdered innocence.”

I could enumerate cases of this kind, and of others who have committed suicide. While I write this, scores of instances crowd into my mind. But I have made a mistake in contracting for a book of 200 pages. I should have had at least 800 pages more.

“A married woman, Mrs. L–, young, beautiful, and hitherto of unblemished reputation, fell a victim to the arts of the Prophet, and was to him as his plural wife. Her husband, a Gentile, knew nothing of it, and within a few months after he died; as it happened, many men died whose presence was not desired by the saints.”-Madam La Tour, pp. 331.

In the same work chap. 18, Mrs. Paddock tells of two women brutally murdered, and adds:-” Julia H-, plural wife of a man who fills important offices in this city, was allowed the alternative of death by poison; but in the two cases named in this chapter, they were sacrificed with attendant barbarities which could not be paralleled outside the darkest abode of paganism.”

I now quote from a petition from the women of Utah. “To the Senate and Representatives of the United States in Congress assembled.”

“During all the years that their will has been law in Utah, no man’s life no woman’s honor has been safe, if either stood in the way of the despotic rulers of this people. Never in this world will the history of their dark and bloody deeds be fully written, for the victim and witnesses of many a tragedy are hidden in the grave.

“We adjure you in the name of the mothers who bore you, of the wives you love, of the sisters whose honor is dear to you, not to turn a deaf ear to the cry of those who ask protection from the tyranny of a system that, throughout its whole existence, has sought only to crush and degrade womanhood. Thousands of women in the Territory of Utah are today in a condition of abject slavery. Many of them would proclaim their wrongs to the world if they dared.”

This petition is signed by 474 of the women of Utah. Mrs. Paddock in her book says;-” Many women to whom the memorial was presented said Every word in it is true, and we want to sign it, but we dare not.”-Page 337. “Fate of Madam La Tour.”

Did Congress Listen to this appeal? Yes! It “went in at one ear aid out at the other,” and though shortly afterward it did seem that justice in Utah was at last possible, Brigham Young was imprisoned by Judge McKean for the alarming space of 24 hours. Yet almost immediately afterward President Grant deposed the incorruptible Judge, whose only fault was the faithful and fearless performance of duty. Perhaps U. S. Grant will let me know why he did so, and I shall be pleased to insert his reason for so doing in future editions. At present I, and all those acquainted with the circumstances, are at a loss to understand why Judge McKean was removed from office.

From the Rocky Mountain Saints, page 462:-” In the controversy between Rigdon and the Twelve Apostles, at Smith’s death, for the ruling supremacy of the Church, one Parrish said, he would follow the Twelve if they led him to hell.’ Ten years later his zeal cooled, and he resolved to leave Utah.

“On the evening of the departure of the Parrish family, Potter and Durfee, two Danites, professed to aid them in leaving without observation while in reality they were leading them to the place where they were to be killed. In the dark, Potter, who decoyed the elder Parrish, was accidentally shot and killed; old man Parrish was stabbed to death; his eldest son fell dead upon the road, and the younger son, though severely wounded, escaped ‘ and got back to town.” [The Bishop, in command of this affair, still lives in Utah, the husband of numerous wives, six of whom are sisters; none of these guilty wretches were punished.]

“A month after the Parrish murders, Henry Jones and his mother were both killed. The mother was killed in the house, and the son, who tried to escape was pursued and killed. They are to come forth in the first resurrection, for they paid the atoning penalty, and are, therefore, entitled to the honours of the immortalized Saints.-/bid, p. 469.

“A young man named Skeen was suspected of a disposition to apostatize. Thereupon he was arrested on a trumped up charge by Sheriff Ricks, who was also a Mormon High Priest. After Skeen lay down to sleep Ricks said to the guard, named Chambers, Whatever you see to night, your business is to keep still.’ When the sleeper’s breathing showed his slumber to be sound, Ricks placed his gun to the young man’s breast and fired. The victim sprang up, ran to the door, fell, and in a few minutes expired. It was given out that he was killed in attempting to escape, but the testimony of Chambers, who saw the affair, was corroborated by several other men who swore that the gun had been held so close to Skeen’s breast as to set his clothing on fire. Yet a Mormon jury pronounced Ricks, Not Guilty,’ and his fellow-saints escorted him home with a band of music, flags flying, &c. I saw the procession and everybody understood the meaning.” Fate of Madam La Tour, p. 347.

[I also “saw and understood.” I have myself talked with Skeen’s mother, and with Chambers about the affair. The burnt clothing shows that if young Skeen was “attempting to escape,” he was running toward and not from the Sheriff who shot him. This is but one of the many cases where men have been so arrested and foully murdered.]

The murder of Yates, extracted from Bill Hickman’s Book, p. 524 Yates had a fine gold watch and 900 dollars in gold. Joseph A Young, a son of Brigham’s, said his father wanted that man Yates killed. Col. Jones, Hosea Stout, and another, whose name I do not recollect, came to my camp fire and asked if Yates was asleep. I told them he was, upon which his brains were knocked out with an axe, a grave three feet deep was dug, the body put in and the dirt well packed on it, after which our camp fire was moved on to the grave.

We were off before day light, and arrived at Salt Lake that day. My comrade and I went to Brigham’s office. He asked what had become of Yates? I told him. He said that was right and a good thing. I pulled out the sack containing the money; the money was counted and we left.”

From The Rocky Mountain Saints, p. 736, I extract from the speech of Governor J. B. Weller, of Utah, on the murder of Dr. Robinson:-” Dr. Robinson, aged 31 years, was an amiable, quiet Christian, universally loved and respected. Six months ago he married a young lady of one of your most estimable families. An armed force of the police, sent by the City authorities, destroyed his building and ejected him from his premises. Afterward, between 11 and 12 p.m. a man goes to the doctor’s house, wakes him up, tells him that a brother of his (Jones) had broken his leg. The doctor hastily dressed and proceeds with this man upon what he regarded a mission of mercy. About 175 steps from his dwelling he was struck over the head with a sharp instrument, and then shot through the brain.”

“ Apostle “ Snow, in a sermon distinguished by its profanity and brutal ferocity, which was not reported and can only be stated from memory:-” He plainly told the audience that whoever should be the executioner of divine justice and slay the apostate, their wives and children, would receive a bright crown of glory, and, what is more to be lamented, it was approvingly responded to by the audience. It was a sphere of murder, plain, palpable, frightful and sickening. The picture can never be effaced from the mind-a preacher in the pulpit ferociously enjoining the murder of men, women, and children for a difference of opinion, and thousands of faces intently gazing upon him with fanatical approbation. The regions of the damned could scarcely present a scene more truly diabolical.-Secretary Ferris, p. 332, Utah and the Mormons.

Utah is a rich mineral country, and many Gentiles came to “ Zion “ to open the mines and get rich. Apostle Woodruff preached for their benefit the following:-” Men that come here to seek for our gold and silver find that it is now too hot for them. The day has now come that they cannot bear the burning heat of Zion, and I am glad of it.” Journal of Discourses, vol. 6, 13- 141.

Brigham talked a little plainer and said, “If any miserable scoundrels come here, cut their throats,” and all the people said Amen! ‘ Ibid, p. 253.

Hell on Earth, Part 10

This entry is part 27 of 50 in the series 2011A

(Here Mr. Jarman introduces he Danites and attributes their creation to Joseph Smith.  Joseph’s involvement with them is not so cut and dried as arguments have been made for and against it.  Students of Mormon history can understand why such an organization sprang up which was to protect the Saints after great persecution began in Missouri.

Shortly after its creation Joseph publicly condemned the organization and Dr. Avard as its unauthorized founder.

Some think that the Danites eventually saw Joseph as a traitor and were responsible for his death.  The fact that one of the mob tried to cut his head off with a bowie knife gives evidence to this charge)


In this chapter I shall also let others tell the tale. I commence with sermons by Brigham Young and his “Apostles.” I quote from Brigham’s sermon “Love thy neighbour as thyself.”

“When will we love our neighbours as ourselves? In the first place, Jesus saith that no man hateth his own flesh. It is admitted by all that every person loves himself. Now if we do rightly love ourselves we want to be saved and enjoy eternity and see no more sorrow nor death. This is the desire of every person who believes in God. Now take a person in this congregation who knows and understands the principles of eternal life, and suppose that he is overtaken in a gross fault, that he has committed a sin that he knows will deprive him of that exaltation which he desires, and that he cannot attain to it without the shedding of his blood, and also knows that by having his blood shed he will atone for that sin and be saved and exalted with the gods, is there a man or woman in this house but would say Shed my blood that I may be saved and exalted with the gods? ‘

“All mankind love themselves; and let those principles be known by an individual, and he would be glad to have his blood shed. This would be loving ourselves even unto an eternal exaltation. Will you love your brothers others likewise when they have a sin that cannot be atoned for without the shedding of their blood? Will you love that man or woman well enough to shed their blood? THAT IS WHAT JESUS CHRIST MEANT. He never told man or woman to love their enemies in their wickedness, never. He never meant any such thing; His language is left as it is for those to read who have the spirit to discern between truth and error; it was so left for those who can discern the things of God.

“I could refer you to plenty of instances where men have been righteously slain in order to atone for their sins. I have seen scores and hundreds of people for whom there would have been a chance if their lives had been taken and their blood spilled on the ground as a smoking incense to the Almighty, but who are now angels to the devil.

“I have known a great many men who have left this Church, for whom there is no chance whatever for exaltation, but if their blood had been spilled it would have been better for them.

“This is loving our neighbour as ourselves; if he needs help, HELP HIM; if he wants salvation and it is necessary to spill his blood on the earth in order that he may be saved, SPILL IT.

“Any of you who understand the principles of eternity, if you have sinned a sin requiring the shedding of blood, should not be satisfied or rest until your blood should be spilled, that you may gain that salvation you desire. THAT IS THE WAY TO LOVE MANKIND. Now brethren and sisters, will you live your religion? How many hundreds of times have I asked that question? Will the Latter-day Saints live their religion? “

Discourse in the Tabernacle, published in the “Journal of Discourses,” Vol. IV., pp. 219, 220.

“ Apostle “ Grant, in his sermon upon the penalty for breaking the covenants of the Church, says:-

“Then what ought this meek people who keep the commandments of God do unto them? ‘Why,’ says one they ought TO PRAY TO THE LORD TO KILL THEM.’ I want to know if you would wish the Lord TO COME DOWN AND DO ALL YOUR DIRTY WORK? Many of the Latter-day Saints will pray, and petition, and supplicate the Lord to do a thousand things they themselves would be ashamed to do.

“When a man prays for a thing, he ought to be willing to perform it himself.

“The Lord God commanded them not to pity the person whom they killed, but to execute the law of God upon persons worthy of death. This should be done by the entire congregation, showing no pity.

“ What! do you believe that people would do right, and keep the law of God, by actually putting to death the transgressors? Putting to death the transgressors would exhibit the law of God, no matter by whom it was done. That is my opinion.

“You talk of the doings of different governments. What mode do they adopt to punish traitors? Do traitors forfeit their lives? Examine the doings of earthly governments on this point, and you will find the same practice universal. But people will look into books of theology, and argue that the people of God have a right to try people for fellowship, but they have no right to try them on property or life. That makes the devil laugh, saying: I have got them on a hook now; they can cut them off, and I will put eight or ten spirits worse than they are into their tabernacles, and send them back to mob them.”

“If men turn traitors to God and His servants, their blood will surely be shed.”-” Apostle” Kimball.

Brigham assured the Saints that these throat-cutting, blood-spilling doctrines were meritorious, glorious, and soul-saving. He says:-

“ There are sins that men commit for which they cannot receive forgiveness in this world, or in that which is to come; and if they had their eyes open to their true condition, they would be perfectly willing to have their blood spilt upon the ground, that the smoke thereof might ascend to heaven as an offering for their sins, and the smoking incense would atone for their sins; whereas, if such is not the case, they will stick to them and remain upon them in the spirit-world.

“I do know that there are sins committed of such a nature that if the people did understand the doctrine of salvation, they would tremble because of their situation. And, furthermore, I know that there are transgressors who, if they knew themselves, and the only condition upon which they can obtain forgiveness, would beg of their brethren to shed their blood, that the smoke thereof might ascend to God as an offering to appease the wrath that is kindled against them, and that the law might have its course. I will say, further: I have had men come to me and offer their lives to atone for their sins.

“I know, when you hear my brethren telling about cutting people off from the earth, that you consider it is strong doctrine; but it is to save them, not to destroy them.

“As it was in ancient days, so it is in our day; and though the principles are taught publicly from this stand, still the people do not understand them; yet the law is precisely the same. There are sins that can be atoned for by an offering upon an altar as in ancient days; and there are sins that the blood of a lamb, of a calf, or of turtle doves cannot remit, but THEY MUST BE ATONED FOR BY THE BLOOD OF THE MAN. That is the reason why men talk to you as they do from this stand; they understand the doctrine, and throw out a few words about it. You have been taught that doctrine, but you do not understand it.” The reader will see here how aprapos is the following lines from, Hudibras:-

“The only difference is, that then they slaughtered only beasts, now men.”


“From “ Apostle “ Grant’s Sermon:-” There are men and women here who must have their blood shed or they cannot be saved. I advise you to go to the President immediately, and ask him to appoint a committee to attend to your case; and then let a place be selected, and let that committee shed your blood to atone for your sins.

“What disposition ought the people to make of covenant-breakers? Why, says one, forgive them. Very good, What did the Apostle say? He says they are worthy of death. I am inclined to believe his decision was a just one.

“Have not the people of God a right to carry out that part of the law as well as any other portion of it? It is their right to baptize a sinner to save him, it is also their right to kill a sinner to save him, when he commits those crimes that can only be atoned for by shedding his blood. We would not kill a man, of course, unless we killed him to save him. Do you think it would be any sin to kill me if I were to break my covenants? Let every man preach for himself, I am preaching my own faith today. Do you believe you would kill me if I broke the covenants of God and you had the spirit of God? Yes, and the more spirit of God I had the more I should strive to save your soul by spilling your blood when you had committed sin that could not be remitted by baptism. But, says one, will not Uncle Sam play the devil with you? Uncle Sam is a part of us and we are Uncle Sam, and it is us and Uncle Sam together. We have a right to worship God according to the dictates of our own conscience and have a right to carry out our religion, and there is nothing in the Constitution and laws of the United States to the contrary.”

“We have been trying long enough with this people, and I go in for letting the sword of the Almighty to be unsheathed, not only in word, but in deed.” [Please remember this man was an “Apostle,” Mayor of Salt Lake City, and speaker to the “Lords House of Parliament.”]

From the “ Prophet “ Brigham’s Sermon:-” Justice will be laid to the line, and righteousness to the plummet; we shall take the old broadsword, and ask, Are you for God?’ and if you are not heartily on the Lord’s side, you will be hewn down.”

“But now I say, in the name of the Lord, that if this people will faithfully live their religion, their sins will be forgiven them without taking life.

“Keep your tongues still, lest sudden destruction come upon you. I say rather than that the apostates should flourish here, I will unsheathe my bowie-knife, and conquer or die. [Great commotion in the congregation, and a simultaneous burst of feeling, assenting to the declaration.] Now you nasty apostates, clear out, or judgment will be laid to the line, and righteousness to the plummet.’ [Voices generally, Go it, go it!] If you say it is all right, raise your hands. [All hands up.] Let us call upon the Lord to assist us in this and every other good work.’

The foregoing are literal quotations from the Deseret News, “Journal of Discourses,” vol. i., p. 82, and vol. iii. p. 226.

The “Hand Book on Mormonism,” page 49, after quoting about the same as I have here, says:-

“ The few selections taken from the so-called sermons of Brigham and others-many more can be produced-cause a shudder of horror to all who read them. But we know that the discourses, as delivered on the stand, were much more cruel, wicked, and blood thirsty than they appear in the printed works; it was blood-curdling to hear them. The Mormon shorthand reporters, when transcribing the ‘ Sermons ‘ for the printer, left out many blasphemous and bloody expressions, unfit for the public eye.”

Among the Senate documents we find General Clark’s dispatch to Governor Boggs, which says:-

“ There is no crime, from treason down to petty larceny, but these people have been guilty of. They have committed treason, murder, arson, burglary, robbery, larceny, and perjury. They have societies formed under the most binding covenants and most horrid oaths to circumvent the laws, and put them at defiance; and to plunder and burn and murder, and divide the spoils for the use of the Church.’

In “The Rocky Mountain Saints” is the affidavit of T. B. Marsh, an ex-Mormon, from which I extract the following:-

“They have among them a company, called the Danites, who have taken an oath to support the heads of the Church in all things that they say or do, whether right or wrong.

“The plan of the Prophet is to take the United States, and ultimately the whole world. The Prophet inculcates the notion, and it is believed by every true Mormon, that Smith’s prophecies are superior to the laws of the land. I have heard the Prophet say that he would yet tread down his enemies, and walk over their dead bodies; that if he was not let alone he would be a second Mohammed to this generation, and that he would make it one gore of blood from the Rocky Mountains to the Atlantic Ocean; that like Mohammed, whose motto in treating for peace was the Alcoran or the Sword,’ so should it be eventually with us, Joseph Smith or the Sword.”

To successfully carry out their plans they organized an Army. John D. Lee in his confession says:-

“All the males over eighteen years of age were organized into a military body, and called The Host of Israel.’ The first rank was a captain with ten men under him; next was a captain of fifty, that is he had five companies of ten; next, the captain of a hundred, or of ten captains and companies of ten. The entire membership of the Mormon Church was then organized in the same way. This was the first organization of the military force of the Church. It was so organized as revealed through the Lord’s Prophet. God commanded Joseph Smith to place the Host of Israel in a situation for defense against the enemies of God and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

“Another organization was formed called the Danites.’ The members of this order were placed under the most sacred obligations that language could invent. They were sworn to stand by and sustain each other. Sustain, protect, defend, and obey the leaders of the Church, under any and all circumstances unto death; and to disobey the orders of the leaders of the Church, or divulge the name of a Danite to an outsider, or to make public any of the secrets of the order of Danites, was to be punished with death. And I can say of a truth, many have paid the penalty for failing to keep their covenants. They had signs and tokens for use and protection. When the sign was given it must be responded to and obeyed, even at the risk or certainty of death. The Danite that would refuse to respect the token, and comply with all its requirements, was stamped with dishonor, infamy, shame, disgrace, and his fate for cowardice and treachery was death.

This sign or token of distress is made by placing the right hand on the right side of the face, with the points of the fingers upwards, shoving the hand upwards until the ear is snug up between the thumb and forefinger.

The “High Priest” Journalist in his Rocky Mountain Saints, says:-

“ Dr. Avard organized the brethren into companies of tens and fifties, appointed Captains over each company, gave signs and ‘grips’ by which they should know each other by day or by night, binding themselves by the most sacred oaths to preserve in secrecy their works of darkness,” Then follows

Dr. Avard’s address to the Danite Captains:-

“ My brethren, as you have been chosen to be our leading men, our captains to rule over this Kingdom of Jesus Christ, who have been organized after the ancient order, I have called upon you here today to teach you and instruct you in the things that pertain to your duty, and to show you what your-privileges are. Take your respective companies and go out and take to your–self spoils of the ungodly Gentiles? For it is written, ‘The riches of the Gentiles shall be consecrated to my people, the house of Israel;’ and thus -waste away the Gentiles by robbing and plundering them of their property; and in this way we will build up the kingdom of God, and roll forth the little stone that Daniel saw cut out of the mountain without hands until it shall fill the whole earth.

For this is the very way that God destines to build up his Kingdom in the last days. If any of us should be recognized, who can harm ‘us? For we will stand by each other and defend one another in all things. If our enemies swear against us, we can swear also. As the Lord’ liveth I would swear a lie to clear any of you; and if this would not do, I would put them or him under the sand as Moses did the Egyptian, and in this way we -will consecrate much unto ‘the Lord,’ and build up his Kingdom; and who can stand against us? And if any of us transgress we will deal with him amongst ourselves. And if any of this Danite Society reveals any of these -things, I will put him where the dogs cannot bite him.”

In Burton’s “City of the Saints” I find the following:-

“ The Danite band,” Destroying Angels ‘-Gentiles say Devils Sons of Dan, or Danites,’ were organized for the purpose of dealing as avengers of blood with Gentiles; in fact, they formed a kind of Death Society,’ Desperadoes, Thugs, Hashshashiyun in plain English, assassins in the name of the Lord.”

Elder Hyde, in his work on Mormonism says:-

“ A Death Society’ was organized and led by Captain ‘Fearnaught’ alias Apostle’ Patten. Mich. iv. 13 furnished the first name; Arise and -thresh, O daughter of Zion; for I will make thy horn iron and thy hoofs brass; and thou shalt beat in pieces many people; and I will consecrate their gain unto the Lord.’ This accurately described their intentions, and they called themselves the Daughters of Zion.’ Some ridiculed these bearded and bloody Daughters,’ and the name did not sit easily. Destroying Angels came next; the Big fan of the thresher that should thoroughly purge the floor.’ Genesis xlix. 17 furnished the name finally assumed. Dan shall be a serpent by the way, an adder in the path that biteth the horse’s heels so that his rider shall fall backward.’ The Sons of Dan,’ or Danites was adopted, and many times they have been adders in the path, and many a man has fallen .backward and been seen no more.”

Brigham Young in one of his Sermons said:-

“ If men come here and do not behave themselves, they will not only find the Danites, whom they talk so much about, biting the horse’s heels, but the scoundrels will find something biting their heels. In my plain remarks I merely call things by their own name.” Deseret News, vol. 7., p. 143.

I trust enough is given to show the organization of this terrible band of cut-throats, and the kind of” Sermons” preached in “Zion.” Now for some of their bloody work. Though I could fill this book with the most horrid tales which have been related to me, I prefer to use other testimony. I cannot however, refrain from mentioning a case of a neighbour of mine who is still a Bishop in the Mormon Church. He had two sons which grew “weak in the faith.” They were both murdered by “ Danites,” and thrown over the garden wall with the remark to their mother who stood just inside:- “ There learn how to train up your children properly.”

The following extracts are from the Confessions of John D. Lee:-

“ The Bishop notified Anderson that he must die by having his throat cut, so that the running of his blood would atone for his sins. Anderson being a firm believer in the doctrines and teachings of the Mormon Church, made no objections, but asked for half a day to prepare for death. His request was granted. His wife was ordered to prepare a suit of clean clothing in which to have her husband buried and was informed that he was to be-killed for his sins, she being directed to tell those who enquired after her husband that he had gone to California.

“The Bishop, James Hasletn, Daniel McFarland and John M. Higbee dug a grave in a field near the city, and that night about 12 o’clock, went to Anderson’s house and ordered him to make ready to obey the Council. Anderson got up, dressed himself, bid his family good-bye, and without a word of remonstrance accompanied those that he believed were carrying out the will of the Almighty God.’ They went to the place where the grave was prepared. Anderson knelt upon the side of the grave and prayed. The Bishop and his company then cut Anderson’s throat from ear to ear and held him so that his blood ran into the grave.

“As soon as he was dead they dressed him in his clean clothes, threw him into the grave and buried him. They then carried his bloody clothing back and gave them to his wife to wash, when she was again instructed to say that her husband was in California. She obeyed their orders. The killing of Anderson was considered a religious duty and a just act. It was justified by all the people, for they were bound by the same covenants, and the least word of objection to thus treating the man who had broken his covenant would have brought the same fate upon the person who was so foolish as to raise his voice against any act committed by order of the Church authorities.” Page 283, Lee’s Confession, Published by Bryan, Brand and Co., St. Louis, U.S.A W. H. Stelle and Co., New York.

“A quiet and orderly young man, a Gentile, was notified to let the girls alone. No Gentile was allowed to keep company with or visit any Mormon girl; but he still kept going to see some of them. The authorities decided to have the young man killed, so they called two of Bishop Dames’ Destroying Angels, Carter and Gould, and told them to take that cursed young Gentile over the rim of the basin.’ That was a term used when they killed a person.

“The destroying angels made some excuse to induce the young man to go with them on an excursion, and when they got close to Shirts’ Mill, they killed him, and left his body in the bushes.

“The Indians found the body, and reported the facts to me. I was not at home that night, but Carter and Gould went to my house and staid there all night. They told Rachel (one of Lee’s wives) they had been on a mission to-take a young man, a Gentile, over the rim of the basin, and Carter showed her his sword, which was all bloody, and said he used that to help the Gentile-over the edge. Rachel knew what they meant when they spoke of sending him over the rim of the basin.’ It was a common thing to see parties going out with suspected Gentiles, to send them over the rim,’ and the Gentiles were always killed.

“It was a common thing for small bands of people on their way from California to pass through by way of Cedar City on their journey. Many of these people were killed simply because they were Gentiles. The killing of Gentiles was considered a means of Grace and virtuous deed.

“Three men came to Cedar City one evening; they were poor, and much worn by their long journey. They were on their way to California. The Authorities ordered the brethren to devise a plan to put them out of the way, decently and in order. That the will of God, as made known through Bishops. Haightand Klingensmith, might be done, these helpless men were coaxed to-go to the distillery and take a drink. They went in company with J. M.. Higbee, John Weston, James Haslem and Wm. C. Stewart, and I think another man, but if so, I have forgotten his name. The party drank considerable and when the emigrants got under the influence of the whisky, the brethren knocked the brains out of two of the men with the king-bolt of a wagon. The third man was very powerful and muscular; he fought valiantly for his life, but was overcome and killed. They were buried near the city.

“ This deed was sustained by all the people there. The parties who did the killing were pointed out as true valiant men, zealous defenders of the faith and as fine examples for the young men to pattern after.”

“John Weston took an Irishman, that had been stopping with him as his guest several days, on a hunt and when he got him in the forest, he cut the throat of the Irishman and left the body unburied. Weston received orders to kill the man because Bishop Haight considered him a spy.

“Bishop Klingensmith laid in ambush to kill Robert Keyes, because Keyes refused to give false testimony when requested to do so by the Bishop. When Keyes came within a few feet of the hiding place of the Bishop, this Holy man raised his gun and took deliberate aim at Keyes heart.”

“The authorities at Salt Lake City decided that Lieut. Tobin must be killed. Tobin had joined the Church there, and married ‘a daughter of -General Rich, one of the twelve Apostles. I think his wife was taken from him by order of the Church. He made several efforts to get out of the Territory. Finally he left Salt Lake intending to go to California, to escape the persecutions that were being forced upon him by the Church authorities. The Destroying Angels’ were put on his trail, with orders to kill him without fail before they returned. Two desperate fanatics, Joel White and John Willis, were the ‘Angels’ selected, who knew nothing but to obey orders. These vile tools of the Church leaders were keeping their oaths of obedience to the Priesthood, and were as willing to shed blood at the command of the Prophet or any of the Apostles, as ever Inquisitor was to apply the rack to an offending heretic in the days of the Inquisition. In fact Mormonism is Jesuitism ‘refined and perfected.”

“White and Wilas found Lieut. Tobin while he was sleeping, and going right up to him as he lay upon the ground, wrapt in his blanket, they shot him several times’ they concluded to shoot him once more to make certain that he would not escape, so they put a pistol right up against his eye, and fired. The ‘Angels’ returned to Salt Lake City and reported that their orders were obeyed.”

“It was the usual course to send an ‘Angel’ after all who were charged or suspected of having violated their covenants. When a Danite or Destroying Angel was placed on a man’s track, that man died, certain, unless some providential act saved him.”

“William Laney, while on a mission to Tennessee, was saved by a family named Aden from a mob who threatened him with death because he was a Mormon preacher. When Fancher’s train (The Emigrants killed at Mountain Meadows by the Mormons) reached Parowan, Laney met young Aden, and recognized him as the son of the man who had saved his life. Aden said he was hungry, that he and his comrades had been unable to purchase supplies from the Mormons since they left Salt Lake City, and that there seemed to be a conspiracy formed against that train by which the Mormons had agreed to starve the emigrants. Laney took young Aden to his house, gave him his supper, and let him sleep there that night. A few nights after that the Destroying Angels were ordered by Bishop Dame to kill Laney to save him from his sins, he having violated his endowment oath and furnished food to a man who had been declared an outlaw by the Mormon Church.

The Angels’ were commanded by Carter, a son-in-law of the Bishop. The Angels called Laney out of the house, saying the Bishop wished to see him. As Laney passed through the gate into the street, he was struck across the back of the head with a large club. His skull was fractured and for many months Laney lay at the point of death, and his mind still shows the effect of the injury, for his brain has never quite settled since. I have frequently talked with Laney about the matter, he knows that he will yet be killed if he makes public the facts. Punishment by death was the penalty for refusing to obey the orders of the Priesthood.

“The sinful member was to be slain for the remission of his sins, it being taught by the leaders and believed by the people that the right thing to do with a sinner, was to take the life of the offending party, and thus save his never dying soul. This was called Blood Atonement.’“

“The Mormons nearly all believe in blood atonement. It was taught by the leaders and believed by the people that the Priesthood were inspired and could not give a wrong order. That the authority that ordered a murder committed, was the only responsible party, that the man who did the killing was. only an instrument of the party commanding-just as much of an instrument as the knife that was used to cut the throat of the victim. This being the belief of all good Mormons, it is easily understood why the orders of the Priesthood were so blindly obeyed by the people. The Church authorities used the laws of the land, the laws of the Church, and Danite Angels’ to enforce their orders, and rid the country of those who were distasteful to the leaders. And I say as a fact that there was no escape for any one that the leaders of the Church selected as a victim.” From Lee’s Confession, pp. 272 to 283.

“In Utah it has been the Custom with the Priesthood to make eunuchs of such men as were obnoxious to their leaders. This was done for a double purpose: first, it gave a perfect revenge, and next, it left the poor victim a living example to others of the dangers of disobeying counsel, and not living as ordered by the Priesthood.

“It was the favorite revenge of old, worn-out Priests, who wanted young women sealed to them, and found that the girl preferred some handsome young man. The old Priests generally got the girls, and many a young man was UNSEXED for refusing to give up his sweetheart at the request of an old, and failing, but still sensual Apostle or member of the Priesthood.

“As an illustration I will refer to an instance that many a good Saint knows to be true, (including the Author of this Book.)

“Warren Snow was Bishop of the Church at Manti, San Pete County, Utah. He had several wives, but there was a fair, buxom young woman in the town that Snow wanted for a wife. He made love to her with all his powers, went to parties where she was, visited her at her home, and proposed to make her his wife. She thanked him for the honor offered, but told him she was then engaged to a young man, a member of the Church, and consequently could not marry the old priest. This was no sufficient reason to Snow. He told her it was the will of God that she should marry him, and she must do so; that, in fact, a promise made to the young man was not binding, when she was informed that it was contrary to the wishes of the authorities.

“The girl continued obstinate. The ‘teachers’ of the town visited her-and advised her to many Bishop Snow. Her parents, under the orders of the Counselors of the Bishop, also insisted that their daughter must marry the old man. She still refused. Then the authorities called on the young-man and directed him to give up the young woman. This he steadfastly refused to do. He remained true to his intended, and said he would die before he would surrender his intended wife to the embraces of another.

“It was then determined that the rebellious young man must be forced by harsh treatment to respect the advice and orders of the Priesthood. His fate was left to Bishop Snow for his decision. He decided that the young man should be mutilated; Snow saying, ‘When that is done, he will not be liable to want the girl badly, and she will listen to reason when she knows that her lover is no longer a man.

“It was then decided to call a meeting of the people who live true to counsel, which was to be held in the school-house in Manti, at which place the young man should be present, and dealt with according to Snow’s will..

The meeting was called. The young man was there, and was again requested ordered and threatened, to get him to surrender the young woman to Snow, but true to his plighted troth, he refused to consent to give up the girl. The lights were then put out. An attack was made on the young man. He was severely beaten, and then tied with his back down on a bench, when Bishop Snow took a bowie-knife, and performed the operation in a most brutal manner, and than took the portion severed from his victim and hung it up in the school-house on a nail, so that it could be seen by all who visited the house afterwards.

“The party then left the young man weltering in his blood, and in a lifeless condition. During the night he succeeded in releasing himself from his confinement, and dragged himself to some haystacks, where he lay until the next day, when he was discovered by his friends. The young man regained his health, but has been an idiot or quiet lunatic ever since, and is well known by hundreds of both Mormons and Gentiles in Utah.

“After this outrage old Bishop Snow took occasion to get up a meeting at the school-house, so as to get the people of Manti, and the young woman that he wanted to marry, to attend the meeting. When all had assembled, the old man talked to the people about their duty to the Church, and their duty to obey counsel, and the dangers of refusal, and then publicly called attention to the mangled parts of the young man, that had been severed from his person and stated that the deed had been done to teach the people that the counsel of the Priesthood must be obeyed. To make a long story short, I will say, the young woman was soon after forced into being sealed to Bishop Snow.

“This is only one instance of many that I might give to show the danger of refusing to obey counsel in Utah.” Lee’s Confesston, p. 285-6.

Hell on Earth, Part 9

This entry is part 26 of 50 in the series 2011A

“A man, by the name of Eldridge, was living with much apparent ‘happiness with his wife at Nauvoo, at the time of the great break up there. Emma Smith, the prophet’s widow, had seen enough of Mormonism, and, having secured some property out of the general wreck, resolved to remain in the States. When the Saints were on the point of removing, Emma Smith advised Mrs. Eldridge not to follow her husband to the valley of Great Salt Lake; told her he would certainly go into the plurality order, and then she would be treated with neglect; that was the case with them all. Mrs. E. replied that her husband had promised her that he would never go into it; that they were attached to each other; and that she had the utmost confidence in him. They went on together to Salt Lake, and, in 1851, the predictions of Mrs. Smith were verified.

Brigham Young, for some reason or other, desired to involve Eldridge in the meshes of spiritual wife-ism, and repeatedly importuned him on the subject. Eldridge told him he was living very happily with his wife, and that to bring another into the family would almost kill her. Young replied that, if his wife was opposed to the order of the Church, the ‘quicker she was damned the better.’ He also stated, among other things, that he was about to go off on an exploring tour in the Territory with a party (naming some of them); that he and the rest intended each to take along a new wife; that he (Eldridge) had better -do so too, and they would have ‘a nice time of it.’

Eldridge finally yielded, and so worked upon his wife as to compel her to give her consent to his being sealed to a miserable drab selected for this occasion. From this period he became a perfect brute in the treatment of his wife; turned her from the best room in the house to make room for his concubine; and she, thoroughly crushed and despairing, realizes that her once peaceful and happy home has been changed into a domestic hell. This is a fair history of the fate of the first wife.”

(Eldridge has wives “scattered all over the blooming shop” and is “a perfect brute.” Once when selling pictures I called at the house of one of his female “sleeping partners.” Another woman, also illegitimately related to Eldridge, was there, and as these slaves never have any money, they offered some eggs to pay for a picture called “The Resurrection of Christ.” While they were collecting the eggs Eldridge came in and raved out, “I’ll kick you and your bastard Christ pictures out of here if you ain’t off at once.” As I left I heard his female “white slaves” “catching it,” and thought what a pity they cannot also leave. Eldridge is principal director in Uncle Sam’s Bank, and runs the “Lord’s Store” in Salt Lake City, and holds the “Melchizedek Priesthood.”]

“In Utah it is an easy matter to obtain a divorce; all the legal wife has to-do is to swear that she cannot live in the conjugal relation in peace and union, and a decree nil:- is pronounced by the Mormon Judge. The second wife’s marriage being illegal is the more easily dissolved. She can he separated without legal proceedings. The Priesthood can dissolve whatever bonds exists in her case.

“Their theology teaches the legitimacy of marriage between brother and sister and between parties of near relationship, in order that a pure family may be raised up.’ Instances of a Saint marrying or being sealed’ to a mother and to her daughters at the same time, are of frequent occurrence. Contracts are made with missionaries to find a wife or wives for parties here -on condition of paying the expenses of the passage to this Territory. Young and innocent girls are thus purchased by old gray-headed polygamists and dragged into life as slavish in its character as was that system which always will be a foul blot upon our nation’s history.

It may well be repeated, and the declaration made emphatic, that polygamy means the enslavement and prostitution of woman; a venomous defiance of the authority of the United States Government, and the propagation of a horde of banditti in this Territory whose deeds will strike terror to every heart. The massacre at Mountain Meadows, the robber bands of Nauvoo, the outlawry of young Mormondom of today, away from the centers of civilization, are but the natural fruits of this terrible system, and only a forecast of the years to come, when those masses of ignorant, vicious, polygamous-bred ‘hoodlums’ of mixed parentage shall be thrown out like driftwood upon the sea of active life.

“80 per cent, of the plural marriages were necessiated by previous immorality. And yet notwithstanding this convenient cloak of wrong-doing, I have been informed by jurists who have resided in the Territory a long time, and who are well posted in the legal facts connected with this thing, that there is a fearful amount of illegitimacy. And I could name a small village where no ungodly Outsider is found to corrupt the morals of the young Saints, and yet there were over a dozen illegitimate births in one year among a population of 400 people. I have also been informed by persons whose truthfulness of statement cannot be impeached, and whose honesty of purpose cannot be doubted, that there is a fearful state of morals throughout the Territory, especially among the youth connected with polygamous families. That the young Saints are practically carrying out the theory of the Church on this subject without troubling themselves about the ecclesiastical ceremonies of the Endowment House.”-Ibid, pp. 22.

“A BEAUTIFUL PICTURE.-Geo. C. Bates, well known in Salt Lake City, writes to the Denver Tribune that he was a resident of Utah for six years, three years of that time as United States Attorney, and three years as attorney for the Mormon Church. While acting in the latter capacity he was called south on church business, and gives the following account of his trip:-

“ In January, 1873, I happened to visit the southern parts of the Territory on business for the church, and, stopping to change horses and dine, I saw around one table five polygamic wives of one old bishop, and in and around the ranch some thirty-six large boys and girls of all ages, from ten to sixteen and twenty years, and then and there learned that these young Mormons all slept in one large single room overhead in the winter, like so many pigs, and in the hot weather in summer they all hurdled together in the straw in the stable, living in promiscuous concubinage, and that several of the girls were bearing children to their brothers and cousins and uncles, as so many cows or ewes would do, and that this was a matter of daily happening, and was not discouraged, but was winked at, by the church, as a natural consequence of their religious teachings that every woman’s future happiness was enhanced_ by the number of children she bore, no matter who might be their fathers.”-


I now quote from Anti-Polygamy Standard, VOL 2, No. 3, as follows:-

“ Old Jim Butler, over 60 years of age, was sealed to his step-child, x little girl fifteen years old, at the Endowment House, Feb. 14th, 1876 (The Great Centennial Year of American Independence and Progress). Brigham performed the ceremony very much against the wishes of the child, who was compelled to comply with the bestial request upon pain of being turned into I the streets destitute and homeless together with her mother. Both the mother and daughter, the pretended wives of this old heathen, live together with the old man in a little dirt hovel of one room.

“Old man Lareless, now seventy years of age, is using every means in his power to have his own grandchild, a girl sixteen years old, sealed to him.’

MORMON SLAVES. (From Salt Lake Tribune.)

“A horrible story is told by a correspondent of the Eureka Leader of what he saw at Ogden, a railroad town in Utah, where a number of Sweedish immigrants were waiting to take the train to Brigham City: I was looking on with great curiosity, when I discovered a tow-headed, buxom girl weeping bitterly. Two or three old women were scolding at her and a withered old Mormon stood with his arm around her. He finally coaxed her off to his wagon, she screaming and crying that she would not marry him, and he never letting go of her until he sat her down upon the wagon tongue. A girl was following them. I halted her and asked her what was the trouble. She said that this girl was pledged to the old man and that he paid her ‘passage out, and now she did not want to marry him, because he already had a wife and seven children. I asked if she would be forced to do so. The girl replied: Of course she will. They have pledged her to him.’ Poor thing! the last that I saw of her she was struggling to get away from him, and the withered old fellow was holding on with both arms around her. It was sickening to think of such doings in a civilized land. Dark as that girls mind was, she had some grains of virtue and some delicate instincts. The despair pictured on her face showed that.”

Any old brute that wants to import a fresh young female slave, gives the missionary the money to pay the passage out of a “nice young girl” This Missionary comes into the factory towns of England and other places, procures the girls, pays the passage, ships them off, and sends the bill of lading to the old lechers, who await their arrival in Utah.

Besides this, they have a Grand Lottery scheme called “The Perpetual Emigration Fund,” “All prizes and no blanks.” There are millions of money in this fund, which is used to import girls who cannot pay their fare to Utah. So soon as a man has paid in sufficient for one fare, he is entitled to draw “One Fair damsel.” Two fares-Two fairs, and so on and so _forth. While the Missionary is here ostensibly to “Preach the Gospel” but in reality to nab girls for Utah’s Harems. Now let the press of England re-publish the story and give my addition so that the girls may be cautioned.]

“A cargo commonly called emigrants, arrived in this city and were duly located in the stockyard at the Tithing office. Yesterday they branched off in all directions to view the beauties and attractions of Zion, and early in the morning a gentleman of the city had occasion to go into a saloon to get a glass of beer on his road home, and found the saloon literally packed with these new emigrants, both male and female who were punishing beer in a way entirely beyond the ability of the average Zionite. They were enjoying themselves hugely, and well they may while they have a little spare change, for when the priests get through fleecing them, they can look back on the little event with the satisfaction of knowing that all their hard earnings didn’t go into the hands of the Latter-day robbers.

“In one of the Mormon settlements of Utah, the Father of a girl 14 years of age has sold her to a polygamous bishop who has a harem of three concubines. And this is America in the Nineteenth Century.

[Elder Pitkin isa “Melchizedek Priest,” who prostituted his own daughter when she was but eight years old. I will spare the reader details. The child at the age of thirteen became a mother as the result of this incest. I could relate many similar cases which came under my own observation. I prefer, however, to quote other testimony, so incredible will these things appear to the uninitiated.] I continue to extract from the Salt Lake Tribune:-

“A girl, fifteen years of age, named Elizabeth Natrass, was brought before Judge Pyper charged with drunkenness and profanity. Her story to the Judge was simply horrible, and the language disgusting. She stated that some time ago her father had seduced her, and since then she had turned herself loose in all that was bad.” * * * *

“The Mormon Church Organ reports a case of a woman kicking in West Jordan, in which the kicker, in the shape of a man, was fined ten dollars. The Church paper praises the man and abuses the woman, thus illustrating how dearly the Latter-day frauds love the women.”

“Susie Vance, one of Brigham’s female Battle-axes, and by divine right to be some old polygamist’s queen in the celestial world, but now unfortunately-a soiled dove, was arrested last night for being drunk, and was lodged in jail Her usual place of abode is at the Palace de Lunatic, where, let us hope her royal highness will return.”

I leave this part to say a few words about the “Drunken Devils.”

The Mormons claim to be a sober people, but what are the facts? “The Resources of Utah,” published at Salt Lake City in 1873, says:-” There are five breweries in Salt Lake City. Shortly after this another very large brewery was built, and is now doing a tremendous business; while whiskey distillers. are profusely abundant, and large quantities are imported from the States. One of” Zion’s” Whiskey Firms, advertises in five languages occupying six columns-”

The Saints gathered from All Nations” take to whiskey. But “John Bull Saints” like their beer as well, hence we find advertized in the Mormon papers that “Brother Margetts “ makes “ENGLISH ALE A. SPECIALTY,” though he also deals in “Wines and Liquors.” We are informed that at another “Saloon,” “Choice Wines,” Pure Liquors, ENGLISH ALE AND PORTER, Ice, Cold Beer, Superior Cigars, and 1,000 Fancy Drinks” can be had. Polygamists in trouble are told that another dealer has “snug apartments, shady and cool, where the thirsty can take a cold lunch, and quaff the flowing bowl in PEACE AND QUIETUDE “-quite a consideration for “ Henpecked Saints.”

The Editor adds:-” Mr. S. is doing quite a snug business, and is therefore correspondingly ‘apy.’ “ He is not the only one doing “a snug business” in that line. The fact is the troubles of polygamy drive both men and women to drink. I have known “Saints and Saintesses “ sell their children’s bread for drink, and thousands have told me they must have drink to drown their sorrows; but in this chapter I give, as far as possible, the words. of others. Secretary Ferris on page 47, “Utah and the Mormons,” says:- “ The gross sensualities originating in Polygamy, coupled with parental neglect of offspring, occasion great mortality among children. To these may be added intemperance in drinking, very generally diffused, and which finds its gratification in a miserable article of whiskey and beer, manufactured in great quantities.”


I now quote from Salt Lake Tribune, June 3, 1881:-

“Don’t we Mormons have to suffer,” said an old drunken Saintess, yesterday evening, when Dr. McKenzie picked her up out of the gutter and placed her in an express wagon and sent her home. She was one of five-women belonging to the harem of an old polyg. on the East Bench of Zion.

“It is quite evident that some of the brethren have been pulling the wool over the eyes of Dr. McKenzie in regard to the temperate habits of the-Mormons. By walking up Main street the Doctor will observe a sign “ Holiness to the Lord, Zion’s Co-operative Mercantile Institution, Wholesale. Dealers and Rectifiers of Liquor.” This institution under the all-seeing eye sells more whiskey than any house in Utah, and it all goes into the stomachs of the Saints. He can extend his walk to several saloons in Zion where Elders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in good standing deal out villainous whiskey to God’s elect. Of course this is all done for Christ’s sake.

“Some old hen writing in the (Mormon) Procuress winds her horn thus

“ The ‘Gentile’ women of Utah have prepared a memorial to Congress, -against the Mormon custom of plural marriage. But after all, what a sham morality is this cry against plurality of wives. In Utah, until the advent of the ‘ Gentile ‘ population, there were no liquor saloons, no gambling hells, no houses of prostitution, no paupers and few criminals.

“It is a little difficult to fix the exact date when the Gentile population came to Utah, but before they came Brigham Young and the priesthood manufactured a most villainous brand of whiskey known as Valley Tan, and dispensed it to the Saints at high figures; before the Gentile population came here-as early as 1857-whole trains of emigrants were murdered, and every leading elder kept a private house of ill-fame. Brigham Young and the priests. he has left here still owe a portion of the United States internal revenue tax on the crooked whiskey they made and sold to the people; only one of the murderers who took part in the wholesale human butcheries of early days has been punished, while some of the others are hid up in the mountains to escape -justice, and the private houses of prostitution have multiplied ten fold, so that the inmates thereof, according to Emeline B. Wells, the editor of the paper we quote from, now number 50,000”

“Whereas these polygamous delegates charge that dram-selling, dram drinking, prostitution and kindred vices were unknown in Utah previous to the advent of the Gentiles; and…

“Resolved, That it is a matter of public notoriety, that Brigham Young owned a large distillery, which not only supplied the Utah Saints but many-outside the Territory with whiskey; that Zion’s Co-operative Mercantile. Institution deals largely in all manner of intoxicating drinks; that it is a well known historical fact that at a large meeting of the priesthood, presided over by Brigham Young himself, nearly every man present confessed himself guilty of adultery, outside of his polygamous relations and that the Mormon, preachers themselves publicly lament the great number of illegitimate births in, purely Mormon settlements!’ Extract from THE ANTI-POLYGAMY MEMORIAL.

“ Allread, that one-armed soldier now languishing in a Mormon jail at Manti, bears testimony to the truth of that resolution passed at the Rep. convention in Salt Lake. Allread was a saloon keeper who sold better whiskey than the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and therefore gobbled, the ducats of the boys. This was too much for the Lord’s anointed scoundrels.. and they cast him into prison. Such reports, you know, dear brethren, hurt business and you must not rile the saintly devils.”

“Apostle Rich called to account our peculiar people for collecting at saloons and drinking with the ungodly outsiders; and then, when drunk, these Mormons sit down and yell, even singing those songs of Zion which are sung here in this sacred edifice. He had seen on the State road a dozen: or so Mormon farmers too drunk to drive their horses, and in danger of getting hurt where not their horses so gentle. Nor was this all. Even our sisters drink. He happened to be in the Police Court one day when five Mormon women were brought up for drunkenness.”

“ EDS. TRIBUNE: Ask him how that difficulty ended which was brought about by that five gallon keg of whiskey that J. T. Barker brought from Evanston. Thomas, son of Apostle Rich, and others, after drinking and fighting all night, settled the matter in the morning of the 2d with a horse race in which Thomas Rich broke his neck and died instantly. It was the most disgraceful scene I ever witnessed. ONE WHO WAS PRESENT.”

I have seen Whiskey, Rum, and Brandy flowing in the gutters of Salt Lake City, and the ” Siants ” dipping the ” Spirits ‘ with buckets, and even Cling the washtubs so that very soon the satiated sinners became in reality ” Spiritual ” Saints.

“As early as 1869 there was 37 distilleries in Utah run by Mormons.”- Hand Book on Mormonism, pp. 76

Hell on Earth, Part 8

This entry is part 25 of 50 in the series 2011A

From the “Salt Lake Daily Review”:


“Behold, David and Solomon truly had many wives and concubines, which thing was abominable before me, saith the Lord. For behold I, the Lord, have seen the sorrow and heard the mourning of the daughters of my people, because of the wickedness and abominations of their husbands; and I will not suffer that the cries of the fair daughters of this people shall come up to me against the men of my people. For they shall not lead captive the daughters of my people because of their tenderness, save I shall visit them with a sore curse even unto destruction’ for they shall not commit whoredoms lie unto them of old, saith the Lord of Hosts. Behold, ye have done greater iniquities than the Lamanites, our brethren. Ye have broken the hearts of your tender wives, and lost the confidence of your children, because of your bad examples before them; and the sobbings of their hearts ascend up to God against you. And because of the strictness of the word of God, which cometh down against you, many hearts died, pierced with deep wounds.- Book of Mormon, page 118.”

“Polygamy is truly a relic of barbarism.’ Examined from any and every standpoint, it is repulsive to all pure-minded Men and women. On every hand the evils it has entailed are manifest. If those who have introduced it into our midst and sought to enforce its practice by pronouncing anathemas and the pangs of hell against those who did not obey it, are responsible for the wrecked happiness and blighted prospects of thousands who have experienced its mischief, then it were better they had not been born. There is no ground upon which it can be justified for an instant. The only point ever made to its credit, is that it is better than whoredom or desertion of monogamic wives.

There is no emotional, spiritual, or intellectual culture in it. It vitiates the attributes of maritial affection; it severes the bonds that should make husband and wive dearer to each other than all other objects; it leads to a voluptuousness on the part of the wealthy that is destructive to the production of great men; it is practised for the momentary gratification of the sensual appetites; it leads to the debasement of womanhood, and deprives her of that natural companionship which Nature has designed for her, making her the mere instrument of administering to the physical pleasure of one not her own, finally leaving her in melancholy solitude, her mind clouded with an aimless and vague prospect in life, with nothing to stimulate or excite her ambition but to supplant her more favoured sisters and gain the supremacy of the household-seeking her happiness at the distraction of others. Its spirit is the disunion and division of families; it is a constant menace to pure enjoyment.

Whatever is enjoyed, is done surreptitiously. We know the women of Utah are the most dispirited in the world. The fervid anticipations of youth are dissipated; life is not what the heart teaches. The object of life-happiness has miscarried: and nowhere in Christendom is the life of women such a deteriorated blank. We have yet to meet the first woman who does not regret that its practice and trials are necessary to salvation hereafter.

They bleed inwardly. Drop by drop the heart yields the happiness that God would give them, which the beasts of men have defrauded them of possessing. The young men and women of Utah are far behind other countries as regards refinement, civility, polite accomplishments and natural endowments. The majority of parents in polygamy have little conception and less care what trouble and mortification they are subjecting their own flesh and blood to. The man who, regardless of right, truth, decency and respect due to the welfare of others, persists in this practice, deserves the hottest place that the infernal one has prepared for the wicked.”

Polygamy creates “He and She Devils,” plenty of them. A few cases will show that I am not the only one who can truly say, “It is a perfect Hell upon Earth.” It being so much cheaper to board and lodge all the wives under one roof, where one kitchen and parlor serves for the lot. It is considered the best way to manage the affair. But off times when wives are so terribly belligerent, separate houses are built, if the hubby can afford it. Even this separation does not always prevent “war.” I know a man “ blessed “ with more than one wife, who built for his termagant wife a wooden hut in the foot hills, three miles off, and by removing her to this lonely spot, he expected to obtain peace. But alas!

“ The best laid schemes of mice and men gang aft aglee,

And leave us nought but grief and pain for promised joy.”

This virago would often rush down from her “ Mountain Home,” reinvigorated in mind and body, and make a vigorous onslaught upon the” Peaceful Home.” She would come down through blinding snow storms, when least expected, just to have “a real good fight.” It is impossible to have peace in Polygamy, no matter what they try.

I saw two wives of a merchant meet at the door of their husband’s place of business. As the Salt Lake Tribune reporter saw the same, I give the account from that paper. It says:-

“The elder of the two had made a wifely call at the Store, and on coming out met her younger rival, who was bent on the same errand. Her anger was aroused, and she went for that Nasty minx’ in hot haste. Wife, No. 2, found herself divested of her head gear, and her back hair floating in the breeze before she knew there was anything, the matter. She had come for connubial courtesies, and fell into dread Bellona’s arms. It was a good place to get away from, and she made good time with her heels, leaving her scattered garments on the field as a trophy to the victor.”

A next-door neighbour of mine, also a merchant, took a second wife for the purpose of securing eternal glory, and, if possible, a son and heir to his worldly possessions. His first wife had “ blessed “ him with, several daughters but no son. His fond hope was realized, for very soon the second wife gave birth to the heir. So soon as this new mother could mix with the family, she, in presence of the first wife, tauntingly addressed her babe thus, “You are papa’s darling; you are papa’s son and heir! He’s papa’s beautiful son! When she could take it out of doors, she would meet her husband at the gate on his return, place the babe in his arms, fondly embrace him saying, “Here’s your darling son and heir, your pet baby! “ while the first wife who had also come to the gate, stood looking on with feelings better imagined by the ladies than I can describe. This state of affairs grew worse, until finally it so preyed upon the mind of the first wife-a quiet, loving woman-she became a raving maniac. I could give the names in these cases but it would avail nothing, hence I omit them.

Just to show it is as bad since I left in 1880, I give a case from the Salt Lake Tribune, of May 12, 1881. Robbins is a merchant. A dollar is equal, all things considered, to one shilling in England.

“ EDS. TRIBUNE: It seems that this people have made lies their refuge, and under falsehood have hid themselves. Another disgraceful affair happened here the other day, between the second and third wives of C. B. Robbins. A short time ago his first wife left him, and the second was about as sick of Polygamy as the first, consequently Mr. Robbins and his third wife, together with the priesthood, agreed that the second should be allowed 15 dollars per month for the maintenance of herself and family. It appears that when the second heard from her husband what her allowance was to be, she flew into a terrible passion, called her lord everything but a saviour, left the store, picked up a rock and went to the house of No. 3, rapped at the door, and as her antagonist opened it knocked her down, and with the spring of a tigress leaped upon her and tore the hair from off her head and the flesh from her face in a brutal manner. The hired girl ran for the husband, who came immediately, and with difficulty parted them.

“Such are the fruits of Polygamy; it has covered the Territory with blood and baptized it with tears; it has cast a shadow in the heart, in the sunght, of every good and tender man and woman. I say let us rid the earth of this monster, and write upon every lintel in Utah, “Liberty and Law.” LOGAN, May 10th, 1881.       AMERICAN CITIZEN.

An old lady who was a close observer of the workings of this plural wife-ism once remarked to me that the women in Polygamy were all either devils or melancholy fools.

During my difficulties at home, a fellow “ Melchizedek Priest” called to see how I got along. In private conversation I told him that I seemed to possess two Mary Magdalenes, each of whom appeared to have 7 devils in her. He replied, “That’s nothing, my women’s chuck full of devils, I’ll bet my last dollar that one of em, my wife Hanner, has 70 times 7 devils in her night and day. You’re in luck my hearty, my best woman is never short of 7 times 7 devils, and I consider her my angel. I wish I could find a woman or two that would only harbour 7 devils, I’d marry ’em this very minnit.” He added “Cheer up, don’t let your pecker go down.”

I answered that I could not cheer up, I could see no silver lining to my cloud. Says he “there’s something wrong with you, take a little of this and it’ll cheer yer up,” taking from his pocket a bottle of whiskey.

I said “no thank you, that would raise the devil worse than ever.” “That’s it” says he “Raise the devil, then devil wo’nt fight against a devil; when they see you’re full of the devil they’ll give in, that’s how I fix ’em. I can’t manage ’em till I get full of whiskey, and full of the devil myself: then I raise the devil you bet, and I’d like to see the devils that would stand agin me when I’m full, you hear me?”

I remarked “simalia sinalibus curantur”

Says he “what’s that?”

I said “Like things are cured by like.”

He replied “ Ah! that’s it.” and took a good swig out of the bottle, was “vexed I wouldn’t jine (join) him, and proceeded to tell how matters were “ ta hum (at home). There’s the devil to pay” he said, and he was “jist on it and gitting ready to fight it out with the she devils ta hum.” Were I to tell what he said no one could possibly believe it of any man, much less one holding “The Melchizedek Priesthood.”

In addition to the task of subduing so many devils in his wives, he declared that his mother-in-laws possessed double the amount of devils. Reader, arithmetise the following: this man had 14 wives altogether (that is, wives, spiritual wives and proxy wives). One possessed 70 times ‘7 devils, the “ Best “ 7 times 7, and his mother-in-laws’ double. He, when “full of Whiskey” professed to have devils enough in him to whip all the devils in his wives, question:–How many devils were there in that family? Please give the answer, my time is too precious, and this is beyond simple arithmetic which I arm best posted in.

“ Apostle “ Kimble in one of his sermons said:-” Some women who think they know everything, go home and abuse their husbands and raise the devil in a man’s family.”-Journal of Discourses, vol. 6 p. 127.

“The devil is not dead yet; he is on hand to do his work, to perform his mission, which is to stir up the Saints to their duty.” Brigham Young’s Sermon-Journal of Discourses, vol. 2. p. 348.,

“As this work progresses, so will the works of Satan increase.”-”Apostle” Kimble, Journal of Discourses’ vol. 2, p. 150.

Now for another picture. A beautiful Kentucky girl eloped with and married a Mormon Elder, who soon became a bishop. As time rolled on, this once beautiful girl became the mother of ten children: when the time of her usefulness in this direction was over, her husband took a young wife to his bosom. This so worked upon the feelings of the hitherto amiable wife, as to transform her into a perfect vixen. She had sternly refused to consent to this plural marriage, and had sworn vengeance upon the incoming bride.

The Bishop prepared for his concubine by adding a room to his dwelling. We will call it the “ Bridechamber.” This was situated on the ground floor, the window of which is easily reached from the garden. The wife also prepared to receive the bride with more than usual attention. For some days prior to the wedding, the contents of domestic utensils were saved for the momentous occasion. It was in the very hot weather, when the Bishop, who had hitherto been “blameless, the husband of one wife,” married his second wife. He brought her from the “Endowment House” on this summer eve after dark when “all was quiet and his old wife and her children sweetly slumbering’ as he thought. He very quietly retired with his bride intent to pass the first night of his second honeymoon.

The first wife was not asleep as he supposed, but closely watching just outside the bridechamber window; and, as she anticipated, the heat of the room being so intense, the window had been opened to admit air. Underneath this window stood a row of buckets. The bridal couch stood close to the window, and when husband and bride were snugly ensconced, the wife gave them a different annointing to that which they received in the endowment house. The Bishop hastily dressed, assisted the bride to attire and took her to a lodging house and soon provided a separate house for her.

For three years the wife was furious, made many rash attempts to murder her rival, and never permitted her husband to enter her house. The heart of the husband still clung a little to the wife of his youth, or she would have been “put out of the way and sent back to her mother earth.” The Bishop often tried to become reconciled, and proposed to spend every alternate week with her, but she scorned the idea of being placed on a level with his concubine, and refused all overtures, unless he would discard the other woman. At length the Bishop fell sick, sent for his wife, and told her he was anxious to return to his family.

She replied “You know the terms, you never return here or speak to this woman again.”

The Bishop humbly ejaculated “Hand me down my pants!” That ended the conflict: the pants were taken from the peg, and after three years of Polygamy, he gave it up and returned to his old home; and family. If this Kentucky grit were infused into all Mormon women, the question of polygamy would soon be solved.

I once saw another Bishop lively chased down the street followed by a broom handle and a woman. As this was seen by reporters and appeared in Newspapers, I give it from the Salt Lake Tribune, which quotes from the Philadelphia Times:-

“The women of Mormondom evidently have it in their power to settle the Polygamy question. If they take it in hand as Mrs. Jones, of Salt Lake City, has done their work will supersede the necessity of further legislative or judicial action. Mrs Jones is the wife of Old Jones, and the only wife he has, or is likely to have. Old Jones was contemplating additional matrimony, and like a dutiful Mormon, consulted the Bishop about it. The Bishop advised him to take two more wives, and Mrs. Jones happened to overhear the advice.

“Forthwith she determined to set her face against the project in a manner which could not be misunderstood. Procuring a large broom with a stout handle, she proceeded to discountenance old Jones. She chased him for a considerable distance along the street,’ inflicting, as opportunity offered, such whacks as were calculated to dissuade him from his cherished hopes of increasing the size of his family. After Jones had taken refuge under a friendly shed, she proceeded with what was left of the broom to discourage the Bishop from the giving of any more such advice. A crowd of Mormon boys followed the portly ecclesiastic down the street as he fled from the wrath and the broom of the demonstrative Mrs. Jones.

“As to marriages already made, most of them will have to stand. As to new marriages, the system adopted by sister Jones will blot out all probability of them. No man wants his wedding ceremonies thus turned into a mixture of circus and funeral. No woman will want to become a bride when the bride of former years threatens her and their joint spouse with broom exercise. Let Mrs. Jones be encouraged, and the doom of Polygamy is sealed.”

The following articles are from the “Salt Lake Tribune”:-

Raliegh is a Bishop and Town Councilor


“A Tribune reporter had a talk with Mrs. Elizabeth Raleigh. The latter is an intelligent, fine looking lady, whose hair is but just tinged with gray, the combined result of years of life and Mormon wedded bliss.

“Mrs. Raleigh’s story is like that of a great many of the women who “ have married into the Church. She first went into Mr. Raleigh’s family as nurse to his former wife, who was upon a bed of sickness from which she never rose. She declined to accept the proposals of marriage when first made, but in obedience to the mandate of Heber C. Kimball, then one of President Young’s counselors, and to whom disobedience was worse than contempt of court, she at length acceded. Her honeymoon was not a particularly bright one, but she took upon herself the care of her husband’s children by his first wife, and was a mother to them during many years that followed.

“She was allowed to work all she pleased, and sometimes more, from the beginning, and as stated in the complaint aided in every way to build up the fortune of her lord and master. As a specimen of what was expected of her, one instance may be related alone. Shortly after the marriage one of the cows died, down in a pasture lot in the edge of town, it was supposed from having in some way become poisoned. She was sent with a Danish boy to skin the dead body, which they did, and Mrs. Raleigh carried the hide to the house over her shoulders, her husband, meantime, standing by with a linen duster on and walking cane in his hand, superintending the work.

“In the course of time new wives were added to the household, the number eventually reaching eight, and at one period six of them occupying one house, and working and eating together in one small room, which served as kitchen, dining-room, sitting-room and parlor. Each had a separate sleeping apartment. They were all expected to earn a living, and if they wanted anything special in the way of clothing, etc., they bought it themselves from money made at washing or otherwise. The head of the household bought his supplies by the quantity, and kept them under lock and key, dealing them out with a sparing hand. He was suspicious always that his wives were trying to rob him, and on one occasion, when he thought he missed a dress pattern off of a bolt of common heavy goods he searched the apartments of his wives, examining the bedticks, looking in small drawers that would not have contained the bulk of the dress, and when urged sarcastically by the plaintiff even peering into a pair of stockings which were hung up in the room. The plaintiff says the finest dress he ever gave her after their marriage was one of common material which would probably cost about a bit a yard now, (2.5 cents or 6.25d.

“As an evidence of the love felt for him by his children it is said that when he had been absent in England on a mission and was returning, they saw him, and one of the boys exclaimed ‘there comes that old scoundrel,’ whereupon they all hastened to conceal themselves. He was called by some less tender and respectful names at other times and all in all his life as a husband and father is not a happy one judging by the respect inspired in his family.”


“And the defendant further answering alleges, That at the town of Kirtland, in the State of Ohio, heretofore to wit, on the 10th day of January, 1834 this defendant being then and there an unmarried man, was duly and lawfully married to Mary Ann Angel, by a minister of the gospel who was then and there by the law of said State authorized to solemnize marriage, and that the said marriage was then and there fully consummated, and the said Mary Ann Angel, who is still living, then and there became, and ever since has been and still is, the lawful wife of this defendant.

Extract from Brigham Young’s amended answer in he Ann Eliza case.

“At last we have something definite. The Prophet of the Lord has spoken; and says in unmistakable language, that Mormon plural women’ are not legal wives-that Mary Ann Angel is his true and lawful wife,’ and marriage with her a bar to any subsequent marriage. This Brigham Young has said and sworn to in his amended answer to Ann Eliza. Brigham admits himself to be a coward, and though his person is not in danger, his money is, and he coolly throws his religion and plural wives overboard to save his cash.”

“A short time since a Saint was cut off from the Church, his offence consisting in setting aside a plural without procuring a divorce. Why should I pay to dollars for a divorce? ‘ the thrifty Saint enquired of this writer. I wasn’t legally married to the woman, and I could give her just as good a divorce as the President could.’ His ‘divorce’ consisted in turning the unhappy creature out o’ doors. But what is this but concubinage?

“When the peerless Ann Eliza sued Brigham Young for divorce, the disingenuous man of God set up for an answer that he was not married to her, his connubial relations with his first and legal wife being still undissolved. When Apostle Cannon was charged with polygamy before a committee of the House of Representatives, he solemnly declared that he was not offending against morality or living in violation of any law of God or man.

“These facts show that there is neither sacredness nor binding force in the celestial wifery of these lustful Saints, when the admission of such a relation stands in the way of profit or preferment.”

“The wealthy head of the Mormon Church in Utah, has about as effective a way of ridding himself of obnoxious wives, as that of Henry the Eighth, of England, albeit it is not quite so summary. Starvation is Brigham’s favorite mode of terminating his polygamous entanglements; the slow, agonizing, and certain method of murdering the poor slaves of whose faded charms he so readily tires.

Thus there is one creature, the oldest, and only lawful wife of this monster, Mary Ann Angell, now in the seventy-fourth year of her age, whose vitality has withstood the tyranny of the harem for half a century, and she still lives, a reproach to the system which has degraded her condition to that of serf and drudge. This victim of oppression has recently been assigned a cold and cheerless shelter in the old school house behind the seraglio; one end of that dilapidated structure having been partitioned off like a stable, or a stall for a cow!

Miserably furnished, and in no way a comfortable habitation for a person of any age, that dreary tenement is the abode of Brigham Young’s lawful wife, the mother of three of his sons and two daughters. But this is the Kingdom of God, in which women are taught to bear their crosses of shame for the glory that is to come hereafter. The Prophet says so, whenever he leads a fresh victim to the closet of concupiscence. We make bold to suggest a visit to the venerable occupant of that dismal prison, from our kind hearted Executive. He will find theme a scene to excite him to the deepest sympathy.”

The Inter-Ocean quotes the words of one of Brigham Young’s daughters: My father, prophet, though you call him, broke many a woman’s heart. If it required of me to break as many hearts and ruin as many women as my father did, I should go to perdition before I would go back into the Church. A religion which breaks women’s hearts and ruins them is of the devil. That’s what Mormonism does. Don’t talk to me of my father,’ and concludes that ‘Honor thy father’ does not seem to be in the creed of Mormonism, and does not wonder that it is not. Nobody does, The usages of the sect takes from young girls all purity of thought, and when that is accomplished what room is there for self-respect or respect for others? The inhabitants of Mohammedan countries manage affairs with much more care than they are managed in Utah. There is no such promiscuous living as abounds in the two-roomed harems of Utah, but even in those countries there is so little faith in the virtue of women that they are perpetually watched, and never permitted to appear unveiled in public. The customs of the Mormon Church tend directly to break down all a young girl’s ideas of the sanctity of chastity.” [All these-quotations are from The Salt Lake Tribune, remember.]

“One day the Prophet said to the widow Baird, ‘Now there is Brother Pierce; he wants a wife, and you want SOMEBODY TO SAVE AND EXALT YOU in the eternal worlds. Sister Susannah; I will speak to Brother Robert about it.’ The result was, in the course of a few days, Elder Pierce, aged about seventy-five years, led the blushing widow to the altar, in the House of the Lord, where they were sealed up to life everlasting.

Moved by the Spirit of his faith to chastise his better half occasionally, and not being content to make her labor in the harvest field like a man, he would heap insult upon injury by calling her a ‘ – old hell hound.’ The elder would caress his wife with a hoe handle, as he did his cows, and on one occasion he knocked her teeth out and bloodied her nose. This conduct was continued until in July, 1875, when the elder punished her with a chair.

Forbearance ceased to be a virtue, and MRS. PIERCE CALLED UPON HER PROPHET being full of the devil, to complain. After relating her story interspersed with tears, Brigham feelingly said: ‘Well, Sister Pierce, what did you come into the kingdom for? It is your duty to bear with your husband. You are his, and he has a right to do as he pleases with you.’ But this was the kind of sympathy she was not, looking for, and she told the Prophet so, whereupon he asked: How much property did you take to Brother Pierce? ‘

She replied, “I took some furniture; three chairs and”

“You had three chairs, did you?” said Brigham cutting her off short; well, Sister Susannah, take your three chairs across the street and sit down in them until you are satisfied, and if you don’t feel like obeying, do as you please, and you will Go TO HELL IN A SUN-BONNET.’

“She went home, which came the nearest to following out the last part of Brigham’s instructions of any course she could pursue. Elder Pierce continued his abuse for another year, until finally, he drove her out of the house and forbade her ever to return.”

“ EDS. TRIBUNE. Another scandalous polygamic affair has happened in this city. The man has had five wives. His first wife died leaving several children. He then married again. This one left him. He took a third, who bore him -more children. He then left her and she had to support her family as best she could. The poor woman worked and washed and almost went out of her mind, living in a log hut without care or comfort. Her husband then married a mother who had two young daughters. In a short time he began to tease the wife for the oldest child and she and her daughter had no peace until they both consented. When she attained the age of fourteen he took her through the sink hole, (Endowment House).

It was not long before he began to cast loving winks at the other daughter and commenced to woo her. She had no more comfort day or night until she left her step-father and her brother-in-law, and married a young man. Her sister has lived a life of misery and wretchedness in a log cabin with her mother and the two families, their beds being in the same room and standing foot to foot. One night, after they had retired to bed, the old man talked to the mother, thinking the young wife asleep. Her faults were the subject of the conversation, the old man even calling her a prostitute. She heard the whole of the conversation. In, the morning she wrote a note.

“JOHN ANDREWS: I am going to leave you and shall never again be your wife, nor any’ other man’s concubine. It will be no use for you to follow after me, for I shall never return to be abused by you. My cup of sorrow is full.” –

“This she placed under her pillow and left the following morning. Her mother, the other wife, started in pursuit, but returned without finding the object of her search. The Mormons are trying to create the impression at home and abroad that the grease vats of Zion are no longer used and that  polygamous marriages are no longer in fashion in the Kingdom of God on Forth. The smoothest liars are not to be trusted. The concubine factory is kept as busy as ever, and not a Thursday passes but numbers of these marriages are consummated.

“Last Thursday Bishop Davidson of the Third Ward in Logan, took a concubine in the person of Miss McNeil. The girl is nineteen years old, and has become the sealed mistress of the Mormon lecher in spite of the protests of the first and only wife. In the last three months in the Fifth Ward of the same place, four of these illegal alliances have taken place, and it is safe to say fifty have occurred in Logan within the last six months, and still our greatest Government in the world’ does nothing to prevent them.

LOGAN, April 11th, 1881.       AMERICAN CITIZEN.”

“There is a Danish Saint at Spanish Fork, named John Hanson, who recently married two pretty Scandinavian girls who came over with the last cargo of immigrants that arrived in Utah, about two months since. This last addition to the Danish harem makes ten concubines that this old brute has, and, it is said, he works the whole gang in the fields while he goes around, like an overseer, well dressed, and well cared for. This old reprobate Hanson makes his ten wives work like beasts in the fields while he roams at large in high clover.

“Ten wives! And yet there are people who think the late cut in the Police Gazette, styled Mormonism Uncovered,’ was an exaggeration; it was on’y too true.”

[The Police Gazette reproduced W. Jarman’s Illustrated Lectures for the information and amusement of its numerous readers.]


“ Among the ‘infamous libels’ charged against this godless sheet, is branding the issue of these illicit unions with illegitimacy. A short time since a knock down occurred in a prominent Mormon store in town arising from two polygamous sons branding each other with bastardy.

“Those who know Mormonism best have predicted that the greatest enemies to polygamy will be its own offspring.

“William Jennings has boasted that as Mormons, his has been a happy household. His children, he says, live happily together, and all is lovely where once polygamy reigned. We do not doubt Brother Jennings’ word; but if the rumour that reaches us be true, then his statement is incorrect. In the store on Monday evening, we are told that two of Brother Jennings’ sons illustrated that unanimous spirit that invariably follows polygamy. Tom Jennings, it seems, who is son of the first wife, called his half brother, Frank, a bastard. This was resented by a slap in the face, and the happy children went at it just like Gentile boys. The clerks separated them, and we presume happiness reigns in that home once more.”

The Tribune being a secular paper perhaps my Christian friends will prefer that I quote from a few sermons; therefore I introduce “ Apostle” Kimball’s sermon published in the Mormon Church Organ, The Deseret News, vol. 6. On page 291, it says:-

“ I have no wife or child that has any right to rebel against me. If they violate my laws and rebel against me, they will get into trouble just as quickly as though they transgressed the counsels and teachings of Brother Brigham. Does it give a woman a right to sin against me because she is my wife? No; but it is her duty to do my will as I do the duty of my Father and my God. It is the duty of a woman to be obedient to her husband, and unless she is, I would not give a damn for all her queenly right and authority, nor for her either, if she will quarrel and lie about the work of God and the principles of plurality.

“A disregard of plain and correct teachings is the reason why so many are dead and damned and twice plucked up by the roots, and I would as soon baptize the devil as some of you.”

In many families where there are as yet no concubines, the wife is anxious to remove from this valley of Sodom, as well on her own account as to save her young daughters from becoming the inmates of a priestly harem; and -as she has it in her power to obtain a divorce at any time, it may seem strange that she should remain the inmate of such a domestic hell. But a divorce would be of no practical benefit to her. She would be compelled to separate from her children; and, as she is powerless to perform an overland journey of over a thousand miles, to bring herself within the protection of a civilized government, she must, of course, remain, and seek a precarious livelihood, -under the discouraging pressure of Church vengeance.

Hell on Earth, Part 7

This entry is part 24 of 50 in the series 2011A

On such interesting occasions wedding dresses, bonnets, ribbons, and such. things are of small Moment. Such trifles get scattered in fragments to the winds, while the dark glossy hair of the one and the golden locks of the other are handled most unmercifully, that is the hands of the dark-haired victim hitches to meddle with the golden locks and vice versa. And the one with the longest finger nails prides herself in doing the best scratching. Second round won by the bride, time 8 min. 32 seconds. With a brace of them, and both claiming the protection of their dear husband, what could I do. This. “duck of a husband” was nonplussed, and now that No. 1 had witnessed defeat. She was surprised that her husband and protector failed to help her-and give the bride a good thrashing, and demands that he shall protect her from the assaults of that “insolent hussy.”

The bride insists that No. I shall not interfere with her marriage rights demands the protection of her husband and is particular to state how the “deceitful old cat” lured her into marrying. her husband. Finally we reached Ho… I was about to say “home,” the Poet says:-

“ Home, home, sweet, sweet home, Be it ever so humble there is no place like home.”

But the Polygamist can never sing that. If the author of those beautiful: lines had married two wives and taken them to his ‘home, he could have never composed the like. He might have given us something about a “Hell upon Earth,” and depicted the fearful scenes of a Polygamic harem about as. follows:-

It’s here on this earth we do re-a-lize Hell,
Where women, as devils, do constantly dwell,
Because we here marry so many dear wives,
Who rage, vex, and pester us out of our lives.
Hell, Hell, chief chief Hell,
Be it ever so wealthy, It is nothing but Hell.

My Home, in Utah, as well as every other Polygamic home, must hereafter be called “Hell upon Earth.” We arrived in our “Hell at home” about 6 p.m., just in time to sit down to our wedding dinner, but my appetite was gone. In the Endowment House I had been crammed with so much of that “meat the world knows not of,” and from what I have described I may be credited when I say all I now needed was peace and quiet and a good hot bath. I managed to get the latter but never the former two. I washed off the” Holy oil,” during which time it seemed as if all hell was let loose, and ten thousand thunders, earthquakes, and dynamiters were busy tearing things.

In the early morn when I left that “Home, Sweet Home,” there hung on the walls such mottoes as “God bless our peaceful home.” “There is no place like home,” &c., while peace and plenty filled it. Now it seemed that all the devils in existence had left the infernal regions, and gathered from the various parts of the earth where they had been going to and fro, and wandering up and down, and had now gathered together and made my house their rendezvous. I wept like a child, and why I was kept from committing suicide I am only beginning to learn-

“ There is a Divinity that shapes our ends, rough hew them as we will.”

A faint gleam of light seems to show that I had to go through all this Hell upon Earth business so that I might be enabled to expose the whole matter in such a way as to convince the world of its abominable evils and thus effectually bring about its speedy overthrow. If not, I ask, “Why was lured into it and made to suffer so? And why when so often tempted to commit suicide was I frustrated?

I had been “ counseled “ to furnish a separate room for each wife, and devote one week to each alternately, the parlor’ kitchen, and dining room to be used in common by the whole family. The wife that was to be a widow, as it were for the week, had to superintend the ‘domestic arrangements, or in military parlance be “orderly for the week.” In the conjugal bliss she would be exempt from domestic duty and the week widow become the “orderly,” and so on one week. But in my Domicile things went contrary-they do in all these Polygamic families. I would that mine were an exceptional case, but having traveled over Utah Territory, and boarded and lodged in the various Polygamic establishments there, I am compelled to speak the truth and say, I found no happy Polygamic families through the length and breadth, of the land. How could there be? The whole thing is so diametrically opposed to human nature. We find in the case of Polygamy, as in every other case where Nature is perverted or abused, Dame Nature comes back on us with severe penalties.

Within the first 24 hours of my “blessed Honeymoon,” the furniture of my “Home Sweet Home,” my “Hell upon Earth” appeared as if shaken and torn by a violent explosion and to cut a long story short, I never experienced any of the bliss of this “week about” business. No. 1 at all times insisted upon bossing the household arrangements and would never allow the man-her dear husband-who had violated his British marriage oath and taken another wife to his bosom, to be on the same close relation as before, she being a wife only in name and nothing more, and there was therefore an end to all chances of any “pledges of affection.” In vain did I endeavour to persuade her to “live her religion” and try to “bear the cross,” for every time I appealed to her I was met with torrents of abuse, while my bride was always mentioned in words not fit to appear here.

I went to business mornings with a heavy heart and returned evenings with a far heavier one. A man after the toils of the day and worry of business seeks the quiet retreat of his peaceful home-his castle-removed as it were from the battles of life, to recuperate his strength and fortify himself for the morrow. Here the gentle sympathies of his help meet should soothe his oft distracted brow. Here he should find that comfort and consolation not to be found in the outside world which builds him up and fortifies him, enabling him the better to do battle with the stern realities of life. But now, it was no use for me to seek consolation, peace, quiet or rest in my house-my Hell-before reaching it of an evening wife No. 1 or 2 would be sure to meet me and prepare me somewhat for the big storm raging in my hell.

If it was No. 1 who had so affectionately come to-meet her tired lord, and lovingly cheer his few remaining steps homeward, she would wring her fist in his face and say “ Now William I’m your lawful wife, married you in England “-I would try to break the sentence by saying -” Yes my dear, who says you ain’t.” Then I was treated with an outline what had passed between “my wives” during the day, and if I tried to hurry along so as to get into hell and witness the worst of it as quickly as possible she would pull me back-say she had come to meet me on purpose to let me know how things were, and like Sarah of old insisted that I must “Cast out the bondwoman. ‘ How vainly did I try to convince her that it was our “Holy Religion,”-that she should have thought of this before, and looked before she leaped, and consented to the union.

If it was wife No. 2 who met me, she would storm thus, “Now William, I married you according to our religion, by and with the willing consent your other wife. Had she refused her consent I would not have married you, yet the nasty old cat keeps calling me * * * (this must be left blank) I think I have given enough to show how matters stood. It was useless for me to ask No. 2 to put herself in the place of No. 1 for a moment and consider had she been my wife for years and the mother of my children, and then have to submit to another – how very trying it must be, &c. The fact is Polygamy makes women perfect devils, and there is only one way to manage them, and that is the mode adopted by Nigger drivers in Slavery-The Horse Whip. That being out of my line I was not a successful Polygamist. There are other ways of managing these hells which I also refused to adopt.

It soon became known that “Brother Jarman was in for it,’ and served -him right, for a man in his position to be so niggardly and try to get along with TWO WIVES when he ought to have at least a dozen.” One night on going home and neither wife having met me as usual my bosom thrilled with joy. Thinks I, now hostilities have ceased-the war is over-I shall yet have a Home on Earth. When I entered my house I soon found my mistake out.

There were two men “ Teachers “ waiting to see me: They had heard the tremendous “ rows “ going on in that unfortunate domicile that day and had -called to teach my “ women “ their “duty,” and had remained to “ teach “ me in regard to my “ duty “ which was about thus:-As I had failed to learn the “Horsewhip Drill” I had better look out a half dozen good stout girls who would hang together-hold the balance of power in my household and bring these two viragos into subjection.

Both men were strangers to me, so I said to the one who was “ mouthpiece “ “Excuse me Sir, but are you a Polygamist?”

“Oh yes,” he replied.

“How many wives have you? “ I asked,

“Four “ said he.

“May I ask, can you keep peace in your family?”

He answered “I wish I could but it seems impossible.”

I said to the other Teacher “and pray Sir, how many wives have you? “

“Only three” was the modest reply.

“Be kind enough dear Sir to tell me how matters stand in your home; can you keep your wives in subjection?”

He replied “I am sorry to say it is utterly impossible.”

I arose, opened the door, and said, “Gentlemen go home and learn how to rule your own households, and then come and teach me. At present you are not the teachers I require, I have no use for you. According to your own confessions, you are the wrong men in the wrong place, please withdraw, and when you can come and intelligently advise me what to do, I shall be very glad to see you, Good Night!” This was my first visible sign of apostasy: I had refused to listen to those “In Authority.”

Next morning early a brother “High Priest” called, said he wanted to chat with me, and as it was particular perhaps I would walk with him around the foot hills. So we took a morning walk. We had not proceeded far when he introduced his particular business thus: “Brother Jarman, you made a mistake.” I readily confessed I had. He continued, “I mean in marrying ONLY Two: a man of your caliber should have married at least a dozen. Besides your two are strong-minded English women, and they’ll always be fighting and scratching unless you do as I am about to tell you.”

Says I, “For God’s sake-for my children’s sake-for my wives’ sake-do tell me, if you can, how to have peace in my home.”

Says he, “Will you do as I tell you?”

I said, “If I possibly can, I shall be only too glad to do whatever lays in my power to secure what I so ardently desire-peace in the family.”

Says he, “There are various ways of regulating these Polygamy affairs.” [I knew he was a man of experience in that line, so I resolved to let him go a-head, and let me into the light of “the various ways” without interruption]. “In the first place you have two very excellent women, and you ought to think yourself in luck for having secured them.” (“Ill” luck thinks I) “But you are a poor judge of human nature in women, and made this mistake. You married two only and each one is fit to be a boss; the one will never yield to- the other. Had you picked out for a second some meek, quiet disposed girl, the first wife could have just whipped her into line, and made her do as she leased: or had your first been of such a temperament that the second could have brow beaten her into subjection, all would have been well. Instead of that you have two natural born bosses. Now my advice to you is this. There is a large importation of Danish girls to arrive in a day or two. You go down and pick out twelve, they are generally very quiet and harmless, and submit to anything. Marry the dozen and take home the lot. Give six to one wife and six to the other, as servants like, to help them in their domestic affairs. You’ll find they’ll just whip those Danish girls around, and have their work cut out in bossing them, and you’ll have a jolly time.”

Here I had to interpose a question. “But my dear brother, I don’t know the Danish language, neither do my wives.?

“D… the difference,” said the Priest. “We have Danish Priests that will tell those you “look out” to go with you and do as you tell them. You get a Danish Dictionary and you’ll get along all right. Should any difficulty occur, just call for the Danish Priest, and he’ll soon straighten things out, you bet.

I thought surely here is a nice scheme, but it looked to me like “hopping out of the frying pan into the fire,” but I did not say so. I was in the “pursuit of knowledge under difficulties.” He further said, “There is still another way out of your trouble. If you don’t like to marry so many, you just look out one real good vixen like woman, some regular virago, marry her and bring her on the scene, and if she don’t regulate matters, nothing will. I tell you I tried that game, and it worked like a charm. This virago of mine has a daughter a regular ‘chip off the old block.’ She’s only just turned fifteen, but lord, she’s a snorter.

“She’s just a hitching and a dying to have a regular go in at it, and this brings me to my particular business with you this morning. This daughter (sweet fifteen in Utah), I’m speaking of has taken a fancy to you, and she deeply sympathizes with you. Only last night when she heard of how your wives were a “cutting up,” she says to me, ‘Dad I feel for that dear man, he don’t deserve such treatment as he gets. Why only last week when I called, there was roast, bake, and boil and plenty of everything. Yet that thousand dollars worth of furniture he bought when he married ’em was just fit to light fires without much chopping.’ Well Brother Jarman, I need not tell you all she said, but to the point, she is willing to help you out, and I promised her to see you and talk the matter over, and if you say the word come right along and take her through the Endowment House, marry her, take her home, and I’ll guarantee she’ll settle matters in short order. You’re welcome to her my brother, and she wishes to become Mrs. Jarman. No. 3 right off, so say the word and the ‘jig’s up.”

Now what could I do. Here was an extraordinary offer of marriage, how could I refuse, or be at all uncivil, especially to a brother Priest. So I said, “Then you are willing to give me your daughter, and that under such circumstances?”

“Oh yes,” he replied, “and she is perfectly willing to marry you at once, and I do actually believe she was born to help you out of your difficulty-she’s cut out for the very purpose.”

I thanked him very kindly, said that “the proposition having come upon me so suddenly I must beg time to reflect upon it, and if I concluded to marry another, I certainly would give his daughter the first chance.”

She never got that chance, I preferred to remain in the frying-pan and frizzle. That was hot enough for me, I also vowed if I could get forgiveness for marrying two wives at once, I would never do it again. Those who have read “The Infernal Conference, or Dialogues of Devils,” by the Rev. John Macgowan, V. D. M., will see vast depths in every line I have written, which those who, have not so read fail to see. Space prevents my introducing -” Dialogues of Devils.” Milner & Co., London.

Time dragged heavily along, life was a weary burden. One terrible night when things were worse than ever I took my Colt’s Navy Revolver and went up behind the grave yard, determined to put an end to this “Hell upon Earth” and try the other. I felt it could not be worse, and probably it might prove somewhat better than the Hell I was now in. I pulled the trigger three times with the muzzle in my right ear but without effect, it did not discharge. ‘When placing it the fourth time, a feeling I cannot describe came over me, and the thought I had not kissed my dear little children “good bye,” made me determined to go home kiss my innocent darlings for the last time-and make sure work of it. When I got home the sight of my own flesh and blood laying there sweetly sleeping, unconscious of their Father’s or Mother’s deep sorrow and trouble, deterred me from committing the rash act, though driven to desperation. Be it here understood that though I and my wife should have had better sense, I blame, not her, but the vile system, and all who uphold it. It was a trouble to her as well as to myself, although she has got bravely over it, as you will see, I have not, nor do I ever expect to.

On another occasion when my trials seemed too heavy for poor human nature to bear, I kissed my dear little ones “good bye,” and this time determined not to be frustrated, took a razor, again went to the grave yard wall, a lonely place, fully resolved to launch myself into Eternity, I was so tired of Time, it dragged so slow, every day seemed years and that of wretchedness. Arriving on the spot I knelt and offered a short prayer that the Father of Mercies would have mercy upon me; and remember that my frame which was but dust, was too heavily burdened to proceed further on the journey of life that here I ended it, and trusted to Divine mercy for a better life hereafter.

I felt perfectly resigned. Intending to cut my throat while upon my bended knees, I searched in my pocket for the razor, but it was not there. It had worked its way through a small hole in the pocket and was lost. I felt awfully disappointed. I went home feeling very sad, but here one of my little ones having been taken ill, was crying for “Papa.” The tears which now blot this manuscript, thank God, will not appear in print. When I think that my children have all been torn from me by the accursed system of Polygamy, and are now 7000 miles away and are being dragged up in that awful Sodom, I pray for the curse of the Almighty to rest upon America until she rids herself of that accursed Institution. And may England’s Government wither and her Glory depart, and may England become a hiss and a by word among the nations so long as she allows Mormon Missionaries to pollute her soil and drag away so many victims to undergo the same as myself and thousands of Britishers have endured and are still suffering.

I suppose I am not the only father that possessed a PET child among his pets. This sick child was my pet and oh how earnestly I wished that sickness to prove fatal, that I might bury it and then speedily join it beyond. However it recovered and lives in Salt Lake City to day, a Mormon-a far greater trouble to me than if I had buried it.

As more of my hell and what I suffered appears in future Chapters, I will now show how things are in other families.

Compact Fluorescent Lightbulbs

This entry is part 23 of 50 in the series 2011A

Since I am a big believer in the Law of Economy I have been a user of CFL lights
since they first came out. The small amount of mercury used doesn’t concern me
at all as I also rarely use seat belts.

The first few years I used them about one out of five seemed to have some flaw
and didn’t last long. The four out of five worked as advertised though.

In the past 4 or 5 years though the quality seems to have gone up and I rarely
have a bad one and they all seem to be working as advertised.

However, for indoor use it is important that you check the temperature factor.
This will usually be in fairly small print on the package or sometimes on the
light itself. To find it look for the letter “K” followed by a number. Do not
buy anything with a K less than 2700. For indoor use do not use anything less
than K5000. K6500 is the best and closely simulates sunlight.

Critics claim that CFL light is inferior to incandescent light, but most are
referring to K2700 light or less. The K6500 light is better than incandescent

The K5000- K6500 costs more but the extra price is worth it and figuring the
energy savings and extra life they are a lot cheaper than incandescent lights.

We use the cheaper 2700K lights for outdoor lights and indoor places where we do
no do spend much time. In our office where I spend the most time I use the best
quality CFL lights I can buy.

Hell on Earth, Part 6

This entry is part 22 of 50 in the series 2011A

I now come to a very important part of this “ Endowment “ business which I name “Weddings in Hell.” I will state right here, that most, if not all the marriages solemnized in this place are Polygamic. A man may marry a first or lawful wife without going there, but no man can marry a second or plural wife unless he and his victim wade through all the filth of the “ Endowment House” and he must be so married within its “ Sacred “ walls. When the various “Temples” now being erected are completed, Polygamic marriages are to be solemnized therein also. Up to the time I left “ Zion “ only the “Temple at .St. George” was finished. There such marriages have taken place; and I am told by those who ought to know, that a far worse, and much more filthy ceremony is gone through within the “ Temple “ than within the “Endowment House.”

I know this much, “The Prophet” has often that “There are degrees of glory and blessing which can only be obtained in Temple consecrated to God for the purpose!” Knowing, therefore, what I do, I can readily believe there will be nice goings on in these temples w finished.

Before describing my wedding in this Hell, I will state that my English wife was not only willing, but desired that I should marry another. As a marriage according to the English Law was of no avail in the Mormondom, and as we had to be married over again, she concluded that I had marry two at once, and thus secure my eternal salvation, and the power raise her up at the resurrection, This is only secured by Polygamy; the wife becomes anxious that her husband should take a second wife in order to secure the salvation of the man she loves, and her own eternal glory. Many of the first wives are lured into sanctioning the plural marriage.

(Misc comments on plural marriage edited out)

Now that everything is lovely, and my wife consenting to the plural marriage, I take her on my right arm and the bride-elect on the left, and walk them both into the “Sealing Room.” Here I present the slip of paper containing my name, the name of my wife that was, or is to be, and that of the intended bride, to the Priest who sits at the Altar. He bids me and my spouses to be seated, which we do, and await further developments. He carefully examined the slip, or certificate, the Priest calls upon me the bride groom, my wife, and bride to arise, which we do, fronting the Priest.

I and my wife are now married for time and eternity, a very simple affair; its simple being married over again. Having been married to my legal wife she then stands on my left-hand side, while the bride-elect stands on her left. The Priest then put this question to my wife, “Are you willing to give this woman to your husband to be his lawful and wedded wife for time and for all eternity? If you are you will manifest it by placing her right hand within the right of your husband.’,’

This she willingly did, and this bridegroom and bride stood “hand-in-hand.” My wife was now told to take my left as if in the attitude of walking: The Priest then asked me as follows: “Do you, Brother Jarman, take sister (calling the bride-elect by her name by the right hand, to receive her unto yourself, to be your lawful wedded wife, and you to be her lawful and wedded husband, for time and for all eternity, with a covenant and promise, on your part, that you will fulfill the laws, rites, and ordinances, pertaining to this holy matrimony, in the and everlasting covenant, doing this in the presence of God and angels of own free will and choice? “ I, of course, answered, “Yes.”-The Priest then put this question to the bride:

“Do you, sister” (calling. her by name), “take brother Jarman by right hand, and give yourself to him, to be his lawful and wedded wife for time and for all eternity, with a covenant and promise on your part that you fulfill all the laws, rites, and ordinances, pertaining to this holy matrimony, the new and everlasting covenant, doing this in the presence of God angels?

The bride meekly answered “Yes.”

The Priest then said: “In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and by the authority of the Holy Priesthood, I pronounce you legally and lawfully husband and wife for and for all eternity: and I seal upon you the blessings of the holy resurrection with power to come forth in the morning of the first resurrection, clothed with glory, immortality, and eternal lives; and I seal upon you the blessings thrones, and dominions, and principalities, and powers, and exaltations, together with the blessings of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; and say unto you Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth, that you may have joy rejoicing in your posterity in the day of the Lord Jesus. All these blessing; together with all other blessings pertaining to the new and everlasting covenant, I seal upon your heads, through your faithfulness unto the end, by authority of the Holy Priesthood, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.”

The Priest then wrote on the slip of paper “O. K.,” which signified the thing had been done “up to dick,” that I was “done brown,” and was now a thoroughly married man. This bachelor had hitherto been playing at marriage. Now it was a reality, and a fearful one at that, as you will presently see. The Priest opened the door and told me to hand the slip of paper to the Prophet, and watched me do it. The Prophet looked at it, then gave it to the Scribe, who entered it on the general record. I saw him write my name, the maiden names of my two dear wives, and the place and date of this singular plural marriage in the big register. I for asked for a certificate, but was immediately told that such “nonsensical documents” were not required; that I had “the two women to show for it,” and, says the Prophet, “If that ain’t enough go out, look up a few more, fetch ’em here, and we’ll splice you on to them mighty quick. You are all O.K., so take your women home and make the best of ’em.”

A Mormon wife has no certificate to show marriage, and if occasion should require and to shield their Polygamous brethren, the Mormon officials, will positively swear that they did not perform the marriage, while the big book will never be found, for that is safely hid.

The Great High Priest, Elias Smith, who is also Probate Judge, then confirmed me, and made me an “Elder and a Priest for ever after the order of Melchizedek.” Moreover my “ Patriarchal “ documents show that I also held wonderful position, viz.: “A virgin without guile.” As these papers appear full presently, I will merely say here that the “Endowment ceremonies” shook my faith in Mormonism, making a shipwreck of faith quite possible. I began to doubt the sincerity of its leaders, which is the first step to apostasy. It seemed to me they were more like vile sinners than “Saints,” and the words Sir Jahn Birkenhead:-

“If these be saints, ’tis vain indeed, To think there’s good or evil.”

The world will soon be of this creed, No God, no king, no devil.” came to my mind, remained uppermost, and I could not forget them.

At the wedding, please observe, I and my bride were asked “Are you doing this of your own free will and choice?” my wife was only asked “Are you willing.” He should have asked “Are you subdued? Has the priesthood and this holy religion blunted every womanly feeling in your breast, and caused you to immolate yourself on the altar of Polygamy?” The marriage ceremony being now concluded we are permitted to don our worldly clothing and leave the place, this being the conclusion of the “ Endowment “ ceremonies. We are cautioned to be sure and keep on the “Holy Garment” which covers the “Sacred Oil,” and forms a complete coat of mail always proof against all the fiery darts of the Devil.

All secular clothing must go on over this. Having put on my clothes as ordered, and being again fit to appear in decent society, I soon found my empty lunch basket and my way out. I left that building a wiser’ sadder, and muchly married man: I could not help being wiser, but why should I be sad on this my TRUE AND REAL wedding day? Had not God commanded in the Mormon Revelation to take TWO wives, and had sworn to damn me if I failed to thus many. Had I not obeyed and was now saved man, and ought I not to be happy? But somehow I could not feel nippy. There seemed to be a fearful dread of something terrible just about to happen, and it did happen as you will see, for my home was ever after “A perfect Hell upon Earth.

After giving such an expose as I have of this infernal institution I must state, that though in England, and far removed from Mormon Assassins, Mormon vengeance would reach me if it could. I know how mad they will be, and further I know they have thousands of men who gladly do the bidding of their Prophet, Priests, and Bishops. Hence the people of England must not be surprised to hear that the writer of this book is vilified, for Mormons will swear to anything, as I show presently; and would stop at nothing short of my death. They always defame the character of those who leave them, for as they cannot meet the serious charges which I or any other recusant Mormon can bring against them, if they can but get the public to believe me unworthy of credence and thus prevent my obtaining an audience, they would gain their point.

The Author of “The Rocky Mountain Saints, on page 212, says:-” From the beginning of Mormonism, the ruling authorities have accepted defamation of character as the best weapon with which to assail the discontented or apostates.” They also assure their British converts that all Apostates are full of the Devil, and very wicked, and strictly caution them never to listen to one, or credit a word they say. I find it hard work to get at those who have been converted to Mormonism in England; but am happy to state that I failed but in one instance to effect a recapture, and that one seemed to me more fit for a lunatic asylum than anything else. I have saved hundreds from going into bondage, crime and misery in Utah, and when I have saved the whole of Great Britain, and driven every Mormon scamp from our shores, I shall consider my work done, and not till then.

In treating of my own domestic affairs I shall do so like a man, for man would attempt to give the public all the peculiarities thereof, which the said public have no business to enquire into, while I shall give enough trust that “ Enough’s as good as a feast.”

I was now a married man in every sense of the word. My “ Wives “ having dressed themselves fit for decent society also, each made a grab for left arm. Wife No. I (as I shall now call my “old stand-by” wife) managed to grab it successfully, while the bride proper awfully chagrined snatched at the arm hugged it tight and looked daggers at No. 1. Whatever their respected thoughts may have been, and though awful fiery glances were exchanged between them, we left the house in solemn silence. I felt that a storm of more than ordinary portentions was brewing-I was downcast, though it was my wedding day and I had a DEAR wife on each arm, and was, of course, ripe for Heaven, yet I could not help feeling I was much nearer Hell. Both wives and myself as we jog along, look down, as if to find consolation on the earth. All I could read upon the ground, and it seemed printed in big letters, was HELL UPON EARTH. No. 1 hangs heavily on the left arm; The Bride drags sulkily though tightly upon my right arm. Behold this rose between two thorns, and if there is such a thing as sympathy in human nature, sympathize with this suffering trio. Men put yourselves in my place (metaphorically of course). Ladies put yourselves on my left or right arm which ever you please (figuratively) and find out our respective feelings on this very remarkable occasion. Must I, can I, attempt to describe them? I will try.

This disconsolate hubby feels about “done up” and is ready to “pass in his checks,” get up the “flume,” “kick the bucket,” or do anything to avoid what I feel sure is coming, and that without delay. I say to myself “I am in a nice fix, I’ve done a nice thing for myself and put my foot in it.” Why was I born, why did I not commit suicide, or rob a bank, forge a cheque, or do something that would have transported me for life, then I should not have known this dreadful suspense. I glance, but for a moment, at wife No. 1, she that had so often shared my sorrow, but it’s no use looking there for sympathy now; I see in her, a worse than Mary Magdalene, who knew nothing of polygamy, and had but seven devils in her, whereas Mormon polygamy makes the women complete Devils. It’s useless looking to her—-the pride of the morning, but now the bride of the hour-for sympathy for she also seems very much “put out” and anything but satisfied with the situation.

But how shall I describe the feelings of my better halves. Were I a devil, one of those accustomed to getting inside the women, I might be able to tell exactly how they felt, but I can only judge from external appearances, and what I afterwards found out. The most interesting person and the most interested, on wedding occasions should be the Bride. Therefore we will gauge her feelings. Though this is the first time she has been married; she is not satisfied. She feels that being the latest spouse and the only real bride of the occasion, she should have the place nearest her husband’s heart. The left arm on hers, and she reasons thus-This is my first wedding day; that old wife of is has been married to him for years. It’s no novelty to her; this is my honeymoon, not hers. She might yield a little to me on this occasion. I have as much right to my husband as she has, why should she seek to claim the best place in his affection? I have just married him, and I’ll just let her know it-he wished me to many him, or I am sure I should not. Now that I have I’ll not go back on him, I’ll stick to him through thick and thin, and show her I have as much right to him as she has. If she wanted to keep him all to herself why did she wish me to share him with her; if she don’t look out I’ll make it so sweet for him that he will slight her considerably, and perhaps let her flicker solitary and alone. She must not trifle with my feelings just now I’ll make her rue it.

Wife No. 1 ruminates thus:-I never thought it would make such a difference. I and my husband were one, I could speak confidingly and pour out my soul to him in deep sympathy when I had him all to myself, but now I find the truth of the old adage “Two is company, but three is none.” This interloper deprives me of my conjugal felicity, I’ll teach her to mind her own business, and not seek to mar the happiness of man and wife that have been so long wedded to each other. She evidently thinks she ought to have my husband’s left arm; she will have to learn that his left arm is mine. She may consider that she, being the youthful bride has a perfect right to it, but I shall leach her that I am THE WIFE OF HIS YOUTH, and therefore have the greatest right to him. I shall not relinquish any of my rights for that stuck up thing.

Thus the mischief keeps fermenting, and not a word is spoken by either. What a wedding day? Did the All-wise God give that Revelation commanding such marriages? No Never! No, a thousand times, No! It’s worse than Blasphemy to say it emanated from the All-wise Creator.

In the Endowment House the “new names” given to my wives were those of “ Sarah” and “Rebecca,” but amid the excitement I got them mixed, and when we came out I could not “tell t’other from which;” for the life of me I could not tell which was Rebecca or which was Sarah, both new names to them and me. What to do I knew not, for we must never reveal the one wife’s name to the other, or speak of it at all; it is to remain a perfect secret between the husband and the particular wife.

Yet I was anxious to know “which was which.” Shortly we arrived at a small stream, over which there is no plank or bridge of any kind. Foot passengers jump over it. Now we newly-married trio, triune, triplets, tripartite party, or whatever we may be termed-do not get scared, we were merely three souls with but a thousand thoughts-three hearts that failed to beat as one. Now it is not to be expected that we three in one and one in three will try to jump the stream conjointly. Oh dear no, It can’t be did.” We would have another ‘washing if we tried to do so. The wives now release their hold of the husband’s arms. Wife No. 1, in a vexatious moment, clears the stream with a bound. Now, thinks I, this is just my time to find out if that is Sarah or Rebecca that has just flopped over the stream. So I said to my bride, who was yet on this side of Jordan (the stream), “Let me see, your new name is Rebecca.” She affectionately replied, “No, my dear, my new name is Sarah.” ‘ “Rebecca,” who stood just on the brink of the other side, heard the word “Rebecca “ and very wickedly surmised, or at least the devils in her prompted her so, that I was confidentially telling the bride her new name. That was enough. “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,” and to make a bad matter worse I jumped the stream and lovingly assisted the bride over. I and the bride would have got along O. K., if the other “dear charmer” had been a thousand miles away, but she was right there to pay particular attention to my left arm, &c., &c.

In helping my bride over the stream I had taken her right hand, and guided by a strong instinct, or else the Devil was prompting the batch of us to mischief, I did not release her hand until I had placed her right arm in my left. I not thinking of what I was doing, but the bride designedly, as she afterwards told me, for says she “I was determined to have my rights.” Well, she had them “right and left,” so did I, and between the two I wished myself in Heaven out of it.
My readers will not expect me to waste pen, ink, and paper and take up the valuable space in my book by describing the fracas, suffice to say the first round wag won by Wife No. I, time 5 minutes 57 seconds. My arm by this time was ready for a sling. The bride, overcome by the superior fighting qualities of No. 1, resolved to make good use of her weapon, the tongue, and give her “a good tongue lashing.” In this she was successful, or at least equal to the emergency and managed to get in “six to-the half-dozen.” As it often happens in a wrangle of words, something the bride said, amused the ire of wife No. 1, and without calling “ time! “ round. second was commenced with increased vigor.

Hell on Earth, Part 5

This entry is part 21 of 50 in the series 2011A

(Note: This continues Mr Jarman’s temple experience and observations. Some of them are quite different than the temple ceremonies today. This may be the first temple humor I have ever come across as Mormons treat the subject with extreme seriousness.  Even though I haven’t been a member since 1978 I did go through the temple several times when I was younger and did promise to not reveal the signs and tokens so I have edited the pertinent information out.  It can be readily found in other places though.)

I must now describe further how we are “made meet to be partakers of an inheritance with the saints in light; “ or rather, how we are made “citizens of the Kingdom of God.” A month prior to this I had been made a citizen of the United States, as I thought. Now I had to change my Nationality again, and I watched the “new departure” with considerable interest.

The Priests gave us “The first grip of the Aaronic, or lesser Priesthood,” which consists in placing the thumb on the knuckle of the index finger, and. clasping the hands around. We were then made to swear “to never speak against the Lord’s Anointed Prophet (the Mormon Prophet.), but to obey him and the laws of the Mormon Church, and all they enjoin, in preference to the laws of any kingdom or nationality, and more especially those of the United States.” The penalty for refusing to obey, or revealing this oath and grip is, “that we will have our throats cut from ear to ear, and the tongue torn from the mouth: “ the sign of the penalty is …

There was a small altar on one side, at which there now appeared three rough-looking specimens of humanity. These, we were informed, were-

.. “ Peter, James and John.” Peter had two big keys which were “the keys of Death and Hell.” He had been in the wet and got the keys awfully rusty. They seemed to have been out of use lately for “the used key is always bright. It struck me forcibly that no one could unlock either Death or Hell with keys. So unless they get new keys I feel safe enough, for I know of none but Mormons who wish me dead and in Hell; of course, every good Mormon has that kind wish toward me.

“Peter,” with his rusty keys, stood between “James and John.” At this juncture different men came in one by one, each making an effort to represent their various religious sects’ presented their different dogmas and professed to be very anxious to save us fallen children of Adam. Each of these celebrated preachers coarsely satirized the various Christian sects. The one proclaiming Methodism ridiculed Calvinism, and repudiated the idea of infants a span long being in Hell, and dwelt most -emphatically upon “The final perseverance of the Saints.”

The Calvinist, in turn, abused the Methodist, and assured us that “The Elect once saved was saved for ever; he cannot fall from grace and be lost.” The Baptist was surprised to find there were people presuming to teach and believe “That mankind could get to heaven without rinsing. To think of being saved without immersion or even wetting the feet was preposterous.”

We had to listen to harangues from the Ana-Baptist and the Pedo Baptist, the Quaker and the Shaker; in fact, from most of the well-known sects of Christendom. But the great wind up came when “Peter” preached unto us “The Mormon Gospel.” Peter being an old hand at it, could dish it up in high style-

“He could deep mysteries unriddle, As easily as thread a needle.”-Hudibras.

At one time during his Sermon when he arrived at his highest pitch of eloquence, a country girl that stood by my side gave me a poke in the ribs and whispered “How’s that for high? “ I answered “It’s high you bet.” She smiled and seemed disposed to carry on a flirtation. Peter twig’d it, and fearing a reprimand we “shut up” and did not flirt. Peter reviewed the gibberish of the “Christian Parsons,” as he called the previous preachers, and said “these Gospel sharps are running various Gospel mills on their own hook. Here’s these miserable one wife scoundrels among the Baptists, Methodists, Independents, and the various sects trying to get into heaven all of a flippety flop, humpety hump, dot and carry one; with a solitary Wife jagging ’em down at one arm “-(great laughter).

“It’s no go,” cried Peter. “No man can get into celestial glory that way. I hold the keys, and no man can pass in unless EVENLY BALANCED with a wife on each arm; and he should have a score or two more hanging on to his coat tails, otherwise his glory in heaven will be no great shakes.

This great “Apostle of the Gentiles” assured us that “ All the sects were wrong.” The Catholic Church he described as the Great Mother of Harlots.”

The Church of England having sprung from this “Mother Church,” was .nothing more or less than “a daughter of the Great Whore.” The Methodists, Congregationalist, Baptists, Independents, and every other body of so-called Christians of whatever name were stigmatized as “ Bastards; “ whose existence was shown to be the result of a vast amount of “Religious harlotry.”

Peter admonished us that as we had “drunk of the wine of her fornication” we had committed fornication with her, and now the word of the Lord which he called upon us to obey was:-“Come out of her my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues.”

Another command was loudly vociferated by the “Apostle,” “Come out from among them, and be ye separate saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you and will be a father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.”

“Peter “ spun a long yam, sailor like, of course, and in a manner becoming a fisherman. He could spin it out with great rapidity, and in a style peculiar to fish fags, including the choicest Billingsgate. Mixed up with this amount of his balderdash we gathered that, “All the Christian Churches of our day were fearfully corrupt, and groping in worse than Egyptian darkness.” The World was in darkness, and had been for eighteen centuries until God appeared to Joseph Smith, a few years ago. That the, only light in the world at the present time was in the Mormon Church. “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints” was the only true Church of God upon the Earth; this was established with Prophets, Apostles, &c., as in days or yore, and all would be damned who rejected the Gospel as proclaimed by this latter-day Church.

When Peter finished his wrangle: the Devil who had loitered around and assisted the “Divines” (all except Peter), came bustling up to the Altar, and offered to shake a paw with Peter. This “ Apostle “ tried to be polite, and giving him a hearty grip said to him “Halo, Mr. Devil, why how do you do? It’s a fine day, ain’t it? What are you doing around here: are you seeking whom you may devour?”

“Oh dear no!” replied the devil: “When the sons of God come together, Satan comes also among them you know: and from what I can discover, these friends here (pointing around at us) don’t seem to take to any of these religions: why don’t you quit hankering after Christianity and have a jolly time like I do.”

Here Satan danced, and skipped about as merry as a cricket; and just in the midst of a jolly good “sailor’s horn pipe.” Peter pointed to the devil, caught his eye, and cried with a loud voice “You git! hurry up!” Satan gave a regular “break down “jump, stood looking at Peter a second then bounced out of the room singing “The girl I left behind me.” The last of the refrain he sang as he stood just outside the door was:-

“Let the night be ever so dark, or ever so wet and windy, I must and I will return again to the girl I left behind me.”

The Devil is not only a Poet, but a very fair ballad singer, and would do well for a “penny gaff,” or low pot house of a Saturday night. Many a publican would like to engage him for a Saturday night’s” free and easy.” but I must not digress.

When the Devil “shut up” and went off; Peter said “Resist the Devil and he will flee from you.” He then gave us the second grip of the Aaronic or lesser Priesthood. ‘ … The penalty for revealing this is to be sawn asunder and our members cast into the sea.

The men then took the oath of chastity, and the women likewise. This as may be supposed is very chaste-very indeed! The man swears to be true to his numerous wives, together with his spiritual wives and proxy wives-his wives for time, and his wives for eternity. He swears to “cleave unto theirs, and none else.” Imagine the concomitant, conjugal conjugation that must inevitably follow when a man attempts to “cleave unto” a lot of women. I have seen it tried, and tried a little of it myself: it don’t work worth a cent. Men and brethren, hearken unto me! if you dent believe it, you just try to conjoin a dozen or so of wives to yourself, and I’ll guarantee you will speedily find that the word “ cleave “ means “deft,” and if you come out of the fracas with a sound mind in a sound body, consider yourself in luck.

The woman is made to swear that she will prove faithful to whatever part or parcel of her respective husband may be assigned to her, and to be fully and thoroughly satisfied with a tenth, fiftieth or hundredth part of a man-his attention, affection, &c., &c., &c. Except, that it is hereinafter provided. Should there be no issue from this fractional union, then the lady aforesaid shall select another man, drag him before the Prophet, and both get another oiling; after which they are made man and wife pro tem on the Q.T., and thus shall the sin of barrenness be removed far from Mormondom [See Par. x6. Revelation on Polygamy, Appendix E].

A man-led lady is informed that she is not yet tied to the man she thought she had married in England or elsewhere-” That all marriages performed. outside the Mormon Church are illegal. No man but a Mormon Priest has any authority from God to bind on earth, hence God has not joined them together,” and Mrs. Jones can leave Mr. Jones, Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Robinson, ditto, and they are at liberty then and there to marry Brigham Young or any “faithful brother” they choose; that all the little Joneses, Smiths and Robinsons are altogether illegitimate until adopted by some “true saint” and thus made “children of God and inheritors of the Kingdom.”

If Mrs. Jarman concludes to stick by Brother Jarman she must see to it that there are other Mrs. Jarmans united to her husband at once, for until that is done the said Jarman is not saved, his children are not heirs, and she herself will receive no resurrection. This is very trying to most wives and mothers, but then this is “The Cross” which they are called upon to take up, and “No Cross, No Crown! “ I ask, what Greater Cross can a true woman be called upon to bear, than to share her husband with dozens, aye, scores of other women?

Having passed this “Fiery ordeal” a man rushed in hurriedly, and proclaimed the joyful news, that the Gospel which had lain dormant 1800 years was now restored to the earth. “The Holy Angel had appeared to Joseph. Smith, and given him the keys of the kingdom and restored the blessings of the Ancient Gospel.” This was called “The Latter-day Dispensation.” The Priests pretended to accept this joyfully, and said it was the very thing they had been hunting for, nothing else having had the power to satisfy them.

They then proceeded to give us the first grip of the “Melchizedek or higher Priesthood,” which is said to be the same Christ held …  We were then made to swear to avenge the blood of Joseph Smith and that of his brother Hyrum on the American Nation, and to teach our children and children’s children eternal enmity toward the United. States Government. The penalty for divulging this grip and oath is disembowelment…

The next, being rather strong, and as I say so much that I myself could not believe had I not witnessed it, I give the next part from Beadels Life in Utah. On page 495, it says:-” The initiates are then ranged in order to listen to a lecture-

“Peter. Brethren and Sisters, light is now come into the world, and the-way is open unto men; Satan hath desired to sift you as wheat, and great shall be his condemnation who rejects this light.-(The ceremony is explained up to this point.)-The holy priesthood is once more established upon earth, in the person of Joseph Smith and his successors. They alone have the power to seal. To this priesthood as unto Christ, all respect is due; obedience implicit, and yielded without a murmur. He who gave life has the right to take it. His representatives the same. You are then to obey all orders of the priesthood, temporal and spiritual, in matters of life or death. Submit yourselves to the higher powers, as a tallowed rag in the hands of God’s priesthood. You are now ready to enter the kingdom of God. Look forth upon the void and tell me what you see.” (Curtain is raised.)

“Adam and Eve. A human skeleton.”

“Peter. Rightly have ye spoken. Behold all that remains of one unfaithful to these holy vows. The earth had no habitation for one so vile-The fowls of the air fed upon his accursed flesh, and the fierce elements consumed the joints and the marrow.”

“Michael. Here all hearts are laid open, all desires revealed, and all traitors are made known. In council of the gods it hath been decreed that here the faithless shall die. Some enter here with evil intent; but none with evil intent go beyond this veil or return alive, if here they practice deceit. If one among you knows aught of treachery in his heart, we charge him now t speak, while yet he may and live. Brethren, an ordeal awaits you. Let the pure have no fear; the false-hearted quake. Each shall pass under the Searching Hand, and the Spirit of the Lord decide for his own.’

“The initiates are placed one by one upon the altar, stretched upon the back, and the officiating priest passes an immense knife or keen-edged razor across their throats. It is understood that if any are false at heart, the Spirit will reveal it to their instant death.”

In the “Argument of Judge Hemingrey before the House Sub-committee on Territories, he says:-The horrible scenes enacted in the Endowment house,’ are graphically described in the book called Wife Number 19 Ann Eliza Young, Brigham’s apostate wife. A portion of these ceremonies now present from page 368 of that work:

“We raise our right hand heavenward, and take the oath of implicit obedience and inviolable secrecy. The women promised entire subjection to their husband’s will; the men that they would take no woman as a wife without the expressed permission of the Priesthood. We all promised that we would never question the commands of our authorities in the church, but would grant them instant obedience. We swore also to entertain an everlasting enmity to the United States Government, and never to reveal the mysteries of the ‘Endowment House.’

“The breaking of this latter oath was to be followed by, the most horrible penalties; torture of the most excruciating kind was to be inflicted upon any one who should disregard this oath-his bowels should be torn from him while he was yet alive; his throat should then be cut from ear to ear; his heart and his tongue cut out; and in the world to come he should inherit eternal damnation. There should be, nor could be, no chance of salvation for him.

“These promised penalties are by no means mere forms of words, given merely to add impressiveness to the ceremony.

“The Blood Atonement’ shows that they are carried out, and hundreds of cases could be cited in addition to those already given, to prove that the Endowment House penalties are by no means dead letters in the Mormon Church law.

“The cutting of every Gentile and Apostate throat, and the sending to hell across lots, ‘that have been so openly and emphatically urged from the stand by Brigham Young and others, is only a public expression of the mysteries of the Endowment Oaths.”

Did I possess “Wife No. 19” I should extract profusely there from with ‘pleasure, for as the Authoress was one of the numerous wives of Brigham Young, she certainly had opportunities of, prying into secrets which I never had. I regret that I failed to secure such a valuable treasure as “Wife No. 19.”

We are now marched into another room designated “The Prayer Circle Room.” The sash and robes that had been put on wrong were now righted. Here we were made to take an oath of obedience to the Mormon Priesthood, which means “The Prophet, Apostles, Bishops, Priests, Elders, Teachers,” and all in authority over us. Just like a private soldier has to obey everyone above him, from a Lance-Corporal to the Commander-in-Chief. We were to obey these “ sacred “ rascals “in all things.” No matter whether we were ordered to cut a child’s throat, or stick a pig, “ WE MUST OBEY AND ASK NO QUESTIONS.” All their sermons point to this “Blind Obedience.” (I have hundreds of them, and if there is room will give some further on).

Now the highest, or Grand Grip of the Melchizedek Priesthood was given.  … The penalty for revealing this oath and grip is to have the heart torn out, cut up in small pieces, and given to the fowl of the air.

We men now form a circle round the altar, link our arms straight across, and placing our hands on each others shoulders. The “High Priest” knelt at the altar, took hold of one of the men’s hands with his left, raised his right hand heavenward, and prayed.

He first prayed in an unknown tongue, and afterwards in English about as near as I can remember as follows, “Oh Lord, avenge now the blood of thy martyred prophet, Joseph Smith on these United States; hasten the day when they shall be United no more, grant that they may fight like Kilkenny Cats, and use each other up so that not one may he left to tell the tale; that thy kingdom established here in the mountains may roll forth and fill these States preparatory to filling the whole world: for thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory for ever Amen!”

The Priest told us that the Electric current of prayer passed through that circle, and went straight to Heaven and “moved the arm that moves the world.” Before he-prayed in English he told us the nature of the prayer about to be uttered, and said we must all be united and “will strongly” every word uttered by him, adding if our wills were firmly united with his this unity of will penetrating the whole of us, and him, would pass as an Electric current right up to the throne in heaven. We are cautioned not to be alarmed at the idea of “Electric Prayer” that we live in an advanced age; Science produces wonders with Electricity and why not Electric Prayer?

When anything important is required from above the electric current of prayer is set in motion, and they say this kind of prayer is always answered. This is the kind of prayer offered for President Lincoln, when, after he had abolished Slavery, he sought to extirpate Polygamy. The Endowment House rang with “Oh God curse Lincoln!” and in answer to this prayer we are told God smote Abraham Lincoln and the “ Saints “ rejoiced and gave glory to the God of Heaven for the assassination of that “stinking Abolitionist. They also had a big feast. The people came from all parts of the territory and there was a time of rejoicing such as was never before known there.

(NOTE: LDS church historians maintain that the early Mormons supported Lincoln. The Deseret News Feb. 12, 2009 published this:

“On March 4, 1865, a mile-long parade was held in Salt Lake City to celebrate Lincoln’s re-election. Andersen said that event was significant because it brought all different types of people in the area together, including federal soldiers.

“Five weeks later, an event was held in the unfinished Salt Lake Tabernacle to mourn Lincoln’s death.” [3000 are said to have attended]

On the other hand, there were probably numerous Mormons who didn’t like Lincoln for he signed into law the first of the anti polygamy laws, the Morrill Anti-Bigamy Act of 1862.

Many were also probably resentful of him because his party platform lumped he evils of polygamy in with slavery calling them both “the twin relics of barbarism.”

Lincoln agreed to not act against the Mormons if they would support the North over the South during the Civil War.  Here is an interesting account:

“Having signed the Morrill Act, Abraham Lincoln reportedly compared the Mormon Church to a log he had encountered as a farmer that was ‘too hard to split, too wet to burn and too heavy to move, so we plow around it. That’s what I intend to do with the Mormons. You go back and tell Brigham Young that if he will let me alone, I will let him alone.’

Zion in the courts, Edwin Brown; Mangrum, Richard Collin 2001, University of Illinois Press, p. 139)

Back to the story…

When President Garfield was shot there was. great rejoining among “the Saints.” And during that never-to-be-forgotten period, while Garfield lay between life and death, and while all Christendom prayed earnestly for his recovery, the Mormons put in motion their Electric Battery of Prayer, and prayed that the “puny man” Garfield, who had dared to oppose Polygamy might be cut off from the earth: and now they rejoice and boast that their prayer has been answered, that God does not listen to the false Christians of the world, but only to his true people the Mormons. Missionaries are making use of this as an argument right now, to convince their poor dupes that everything is O. K. in the Mormon kingdom, and this, it will be at once seen, is a powerful argument.

While the “Electric prayer” was going on the women stood outside the-circle of men, with their veils covering their faces, the only time throughout the ceremonies that they did so. The prayer being over, we were all ordered up stairs. This was supposed to mean going up to heaven. On arriving at the top of the stairs we found ourselves in a very peculiar place. Here was a big room partitioned off with a large greasy dishrag or screen. This screen had once been white, but now filthy dirty. It was called “The Vail,” and is said to be in imitation of the veil in Solomon’s Temple. Some Mormons assert that it is the actual one, being preserved from the days of Solomon, and now in the possession of “God’s peculiar people,” the Mormons.

On this veil marks, like those on the “Wedding Garment,” such as the square, co pass, &c., together with various holes for putting the arms, and a hole at top to speak through. It was also rent in twain. This rent was “the way opened up” whereby we could enter through the veil into “The Holy. Holies.” The very holy place was inside of where we stood, and before go through to “ t’other side o’ Jordan,” as the Priest expressed it, we received general outline of instructions, similar to those received down stairs, “down the kitchen,” as the Mormon Bishop remarked. This over, the Priest took me straight up to one of the holes in the veil, where he knocked with a mallet.

voice (Peter’s of course) from the other side, asked “Who’s there? “ Priest answered for me by saying “Adam having been faithful desires enter.” It appears I was now transformed into “Adam.” I was then led where there was two holes in the veil. Here I had to poke both hands arms through and “hug old St. Peter,” who stood on the other side was for the embrace. While hugging this lecherous old humbug there was a strong smell of that Mormon “ Heavenly “ incense commonly called Whiskey. I had to whisper in Peter’s ear my new name. To do this aright I had to put head in at the hole; when I popped my head in the smell of whiskey was enough to knock anybody down. I stood my ground, however, for I was interested in the thing by this time, and was eager to see it through.

Having divulged my New Name to “Saint Peter,” I was now considered ripe for Heavenly Glory, and was permitted to go through the veil into “ Heaven. ‘ I now entered and took a good square look around; I must say I was very much disappointed. The bright notions I had hitherto entertained of Heavenly Glory, first flickered, then vanished; for anything more unlike Heaven I cannot conceive. It was a Hell within a Hell. What it lacked in purity was made up in filth. If I kept a pig and expected to eat the pork, I should not keep the animal in that place.

Here I found the same Dramatis Persona of “ God’s, Holy beings,” &c., that I had seen below, minus “ The, Devil.” Of course, he had been kicked out of this “ Holy “ assembly just before he visited Mrs. Eve, and I noticed it was a different “ Peter “ to what we had down stairs: I asked one of the Priests why that was, he said “we had to put a ‘super’ in Peter’s place because his women where raising hell at home, and he had gone with a good stout rope to cast out devils.”

Not wishing to enjoy this’“ Heavenly Glory” alone, I was informed that if my wife wished to marry me properly now was her chance. “ Eve “ was on the t’other side of Jordan (the veil) instructing her daughters in regard to this I matter. My wife (or “ missus “ I spose up to this time) very prudently concluded to marry the father of her children. The chap who was playing the part of “ Peter, ‘ while the real “ Peter “ was home larruping his wives, said to me, “How many women are you going to hitch on to?”

I replied, “I have two outside the veil, which I brought for that purpose, if they have not changed their minds since they came into this house.”

“Come here and fetch ‘ern in, for here’s where you get spliced for time and for eternity,” says Peter’s super. I said, “ What! are we to be married in Heaven? I thought that in Heaven they neither marry nor are given in marriage! “

“All a pack o nonsense,” replied the “super,” “that’s yer old sectarian foolishness which you’ve fetched with you from wicked Babylon. You must drop all that stuff here. Come git yer women in,” and added, “Tell Jehovah that you feel lonely and desire the companionship of a woman or two to help cheer your weary pilgrimage.” I did so, when Jehovah “ answered, “It is not good for man to be alone, I will make help meets for him.” Then I had to give the super my wife’s worldly maiden name, for notwithstanding we had been married by the English Law–the best Marriage Laws in the World-she was not yet Mrs. Jarman. Besides this “mock Marriage” in England was only till Death us do part.” I should lose her at death and never have her again. Death ends that contract, but now we were to be made one FOR EVER.

I was now taken to the holes where I had previously hugged the Apostle,” and stood just where he had stood. I then called for the woman was about to marry, when she, I had hitherto erroneously called wife, stepped up to the holes, aforesaid, on the outside of the screen, to receive her hugging. Here we stood with the dirty screen between us, Eve was on the outside instructing my “ missus,” and Peter’s super prompting me on the inside.

Our knees were peculiarly placed, the feet also were properly adjusted, and with both arms around each other we were told to “squeeze tight.’ We managed to do a bit of tolerably good squeezing considering the circumstances. First she gave me her maiden name, and to make assurance doubly sure I heard Eve” say, “Give him your New Name, and kiss him through the veil.” This lone, Eve told my wife to repeat after her a most disgusting formula or oath, which moral decency compels me to omit here.

The highest Melchizedek grip was again given, when we released our hold if each other. A “Priestess” or “ Prophetess “ then took my wife to the entrance through which I had been admitted, and rapped as the Priest had done in my case. “ Peter “ (or rather the super) for the real Peter had not ret returned. It takes time to wallop the devils out of eight wives. The super spoke out, “Who’s there? “ The Priestess replied, “Eve having been faithful desires to enter.”

Eve “was accordingly ushered into Heaven.” I then had to go through the same rigmarole to “fetch in t’other woman,” as they said, who was also to become a Mrs. Jarman. Having “gathered in” these two of my “lost ribs” I was directed to take them both to a table at which “The Gods,” the heads of the Mormon Church were seated. Here I had to give first my own name, that of my parents, and place and date of birth. The two women I was about to marry did the same, and all was entered in a large hook or marriage register. A copy of this register was then given me on a slip of paper, and I was directed to take that and the two women into the “Sealing Room,” and give the piece of paper to the officiating priest, who would marry me to both those women according to the “Order of Heaven.” I obeyed orders.

In this “Sealing Room” is the “Marriage Altar. Here we are married for “time and all eternity.” Think of it! it’s serious enough to be bound to a woman for time only, and how many wish they had married on probation. But what is that compared with marrying a wife for all eternity? It would scare most men. But every cloud has a silver lining somewhere, so also in this case. We can console ourselves with the thought that if the thing don’t work right or is not exactly O.K: Smith, the Great High Priest, who is also the Probate Judge, and who prominently officiates in the tying up biz., will untie the knot and divorce us at any time; notwithstanding the fact that he married us for all time, and eternity into the bargain. Then again this fact is very consoling to the men-that at the resurrection – he need not raise up the bad with the good: he has his pick then, and can call up only those of his wives who have been very loving, very faithful, very quiet, &c., &c., &c.