Vegetarian Nazis

This entry is part 43 of 73 in the series 2015

Nov 5, 2015

Vegetarian Nazis

Many vegetarians present themselves as the peaceful loving ones and meat eaters as vicious killers and warmongers.

Vegetarian blogger Jordan Younger found out that many of her fellow vegetarians were more like the vegetarian Hitler than Gandhi.

For health reasons she announced on her blog that she was starting to eat a little meat and eggs. Here was the response:

That’s when all hell broke loose. Her site crashed within two minutes and 1,000 followers instantly ditched her. Worse, she received anonymous death threats from hard-core vegans claiming she condoned the slaughter of animals and that neither she nor her family had the right to live.

“It was shocking,” recalls Younger, who moved from New York back to Los Angeles around the time of the fallout. “It made me realize how elitist some of the people within that [vegan] world could be.”

LINK

Of course, like every other group, there are both good and bad vegetarians, but it seems that an uncomfortable percentage of them are not that peaceful and quite militant.

Copyright 2015 by J J Dewey

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Health 104

This entry is part 42 of 73 in the series 2015

Nov 4, 2015

Health 104

The Questions;

What is the “centralisation of a man’s life energy” and what causes it? What are the planes where this focus occurs and what is the solution to restore good health?

Some of these laws and rules are rather esoteric so it takes some thinking to figure them out. Ruth was the only one who ventured a try and did a good job.

DK tells us that disease is an effect of the basic centralization of a man’s life energy. The first question to ask is what is life energy?

Life energy is basically soul energy or energy which pours into us from the Higher Self. We are often called reflections of the soul, its shadow or projection. We are not an exact reflection as the soul does not duplicate itself but pours forth a portion of its life energy into a physical incarnation while reserving most of it for itself on its own sphere.

At birth the soul energy is not fully anchored but this is achieved when the entity reaches full self consciousness around seven or eight years of age.

Our vital energy responsible for good health runs through our etheric body, but is strongly influenced by our emotions and thought process. The emotional self is the most powerful influence in many people as all positive and negative emotions have an effect. Happiness, enjoyment, inspiration, faith, hope all stimulate the energy flow. Negative emotions such as jealousy, rage, gate, hurt feelings, sorrow, discouragement, frustration and others disturb the natural flow.

Wrong handling of the negative emotions can cause a ‘centralization” of life energy.

There are two keys to minimize this danger.

(1) Minimize emotional trauma.

All of us have feelings and will, at one time or another, suffer some type of negative emotion. We have some control over how we will feel in some situations and others not so much. For instance, if the love of your life has an affair you will be emotionally affected if you are a self-conscious human. In such profound situations you will definitely suffer some negative feelings, but still will have a large degree of control over how you are going to deal with them and diffuse them.

Fortunately, there are many small things that emotionally affect people that we can, with practice and attention, get under control so they will not negatively impact us. For instance, many get their feelings hurt through careless and innocent speech. This can be controlled. The disciple is almost impossible to affect negatively by insulting him as he lets it pass through him.

Others get discouraged easily. It is much healthier to pick yourself up and try again.

Still others lose hope. It is much healthier to see a silver lining in the cloud.

Others want revenge to right a wrong. It is healthier to forgive

(2) Acknowledge negative feelings when they occur and send them away as harmless as possible.

Suppression is a major cause of low energy and disease. During these times when the emotions are negatively affected the seeker must be honest about how he feels and use all means of honest and sincere communication to diffuse the situation so the negative feeling will not find a place to reside indefinitely and create a focus in the body for disease.

I’ve written a lot about dealing with suppression so will refer readers to those writings.

Wrong focus on the mental plane also creates many problems, such as instability and various forms of mental illness as well as some physical problems.

A book could be written on this subject but I’ll sum up with this statement. In the end we avoid wrong centralization by becoming a stable human being, both emotionally and mentally, and honestly facing and communicating our feelings and thoughts.

Next we come to the Fourth Law of Healing:

Disease, both physical and psychological, has its roots in the good, the beautiful and the true. It is but a distorted reflection of divine possibilities. The thwarted soul, seeking full expression of some divine characteristic or inner spiritual reality, produces within the substance of its sheaths a point of friction. Upon this point the eyes of the personality are focussed, and this leads to disease.

The art of the healer is concerned with the lifting of the downward focussed eyes unto the soul, the Healer within the form. The spiritual or third eye then directs the healing force, and all is well.

Again, a book could be written on this and DK has covered a few things. There are a couple statements that deserve some thought.

How is it that disease “has its roots in the good, the beautiful and the true”?

And…

How does one help a brother lift “the downward focussed eyes unto the soul”?

In a disordered mind, as in a disordered body, soundness of health is impossible.

Cicero

Copyright 2015 by J J Dewey

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Health 103

This entry is part 41 of 73 in the series 2015

Nov 3, 2015

Health 103

The Questions:

What is the difference between spiritual will and regular will, as understood by the masses?

How do you suppose we can activate this spiritual will?

These were rather difficult questions, as the answers are not found in any book that I know of. Even so, several brave souls ventured answers:

Ruth:

Regular will uses the brain and emotional body.

Spiritual Will uses the brain, lower mind and higher mind.

Sharon:

Regular will is determination through the personality or asset of the lower concrete mind in achieving a difficult goal. And probably most believe spiritual will is following a religious requirement such as working in your community or giving your time in helping the church with its events etc.

How do you suppose we can activate this spiritual will?

It is my understanding that following the higher will takes tremendous effort and is too great for the personality on its own to be able to achieve the desired end, the higher gives the personality extra stamina through inner strength and stamina in completing the task and also support when

JJ

All good thoughts as there is truth in many different angles of vision. Here is my take:

Even though most of humanity see a difference between what is called the will of God and the will of man they generally do not see a difference between spiritual will and regular human will as exercised by us mortals. What is generally accepted is that will is merely an act of determination to get something accomplished.

We all know what regular will is. Jim wants a new car so he uses his will power to work hard and save money so he can buy it. Sue wants to lose weight so she uses a determined will to stay on a diet plan.

If that type of action is regular personality will then what is spiritual will? Would this mean that the will is merely directed toward spiritual things or maybe becoming a better person as you might imagine God wants you to do?

That is not quite the whole picture. Spiritual will involves something more than desiring to accomplish good things. After all, there are terrorists who think they are fulfilling the will of God by cutting off heads of innocents and killing children of infidels. Many acts of will deemed to please God are not acts of spiritual will at all.

The only path to achieving spiritual will is found in aligning our own wills with that of Spirit or the Higher Self. The seeker then sees a dominating good that must be manifested here on the physical plane and places his decisions and will in alignment with it.

For true spiritual will to manifest the person must pierce the veil of illusion and catch a true glimpse of higher purpose. If he is not treading the path of harmlessness true Higher Will, will bypass his consciousness and be beyond his reach.

Those who are in alignment with spiritual will are those who will activate the Law of Dominating Good. The activation occurs when soul contact is made and the disciple yields as did the Christ and says, “not my will but thine be done.” As far as health goes the dominating good would be that we maintain our body in good health and usefulness as long as life holds a purpose. When we are in true alignment with spirit, and not resist the flow, we will live healthy vital lives.

Here is the Third Law of Healing:

LAW III

Diseases are an effect of the basic centralisation of a man’s life energy. From the Plane whereon those energies are focussed, proceed those determining conditions which produce ill health, and which, therefore, work out as disease or as freedom from disease.

Questions;

What is the “centralisation of a man’s life energy” and what causes it? What are the planes where this focus occurs and what is the solution to restore good health?

Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.

World Health Organization, 1948

Copyright 2015 by J J Dewey

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Health 102

This entry is part 40 of 73 in the series 2015

Nov 1, 2015

Health 102

The Question:

How is the soul released so its life can flow?

A book could be written on this but the prime answer is this.

Soul energy is our source of life and without it the body would fall apart and decay as if it were dead, for it would be dead. Therefore, when the soul energy is blocked in any way it is as if a piece of the body is in the state of dying and decay. When soul energy is released the unraveling is suspended and restoration comes.

What we need to examine is what is it that causes a blockage or suspension of soul energy.

The main thing that causes blockage is the entity’s resistance to the will of the Soul or Higher Self. The basic problem of harmonizing with the Higher Self is that we are often ignorant of what it wants us to do. After all, few of us hear some voice saying something like, “Hey you! This is your Higher Self and this is what I want.”

Even with this handicap there are a number of things we can do to insure we are in harmony with the soul which are.

(1) Live up to the highest you know to be true. One can automatically assume that this is incorporated in the will of the Higher Self.

(2) When the seeker reaches a fork in the road he must contemplate the results of the two choices and register how each choice feels to the inner self. The choice that seems to bring the greatest inner peace will generally be the one in alignment with the soul, though it may not be the choice desired by the lower emotions.

(3) Pay attention to how you feel deeply within after the choice is made. We are not infallible and the seeker will often confuse the will of the lower personality with the will of the soul. If a mistake is made the seeker will feel what is best described as “a disturbance in the force.” Do not confuse this with natural difficulties or outward signs which are not reliable indicators.

If you made the wrong choice you will feel a lack of energy toward fulfilling that choice, a lack of light in how to solve the problems and a lack of certainly that you are on the right path.

If you made the correct choice the opposite will be the case. You will clearly see what to do next and feel energized about accomplishing it as well as having a sense of peace assuring you that you are going the right direction.

(4) Pay attention to your dreams. If you are off course your dreams will often hold clues to getting back on course.

(5) Pay attention to any physical problem of weakness you may have. This will give clues as to where your resistance may be. The chakra which is closest to the discomfort will indicate where the resistance is coming from. For instance, problems below the diaphragm are usually due to problems in the solar plexus caused by emotional problems of some kind. Something like sinus problems in the head would be related to the center between the eyebrows and could result from a frustration of manifesting ideas or plans.

Here is the second Law of Healing:

Disease is the product of, and subject to, three influences: first, a man’s past, wherein he pays the price of ancient error; second, his inheritance, wherein he shares with all mankind those tainted streams of energy which are of group origin; third, he shares with all the natural forms that which the Lord of Life imposes on His body. These three influences are called “The Ancient Law of Evil Sharing.” This must give place someday to that new “Law of Ancient Dominating Good” which lies behind all that God made. This law must be brought into activity by the spiritual will of man.

As you can see here there are other things at play than just following higher will. No matter how perfect we are there are always this “evil sharing” with which we have to deal.

This is negated by the “Law of Ancient Dominating Good” which is activated by spiritual will.

Questions:

What is the difference between spiritual will and regular will, as understood by the masses?

How do you suppose we can activate this spiritual will?

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

Doug Larson

Copyright 2015 by J J Dewey

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Health 101

This entry is part 39 of 73 in the series 2015

Oct 31, 2015

Health 101

Thanks for your comments on healing. I’m sure some readers find it refreshing to read intelligent comments from the various Keys members.

I think that one thing we can all agree on is that a reasonable amount of exercise is needed to maintain good health. The key is to choose the right kind ad get the right amount.

Like anything, the key of good judgment is essential, especially as you get older. More is not always better.

For instance, a little jogging or bike riding is good but too much can create problems. Some run so much, as did President Bush, that it ruins their joints. Excessive aerobic exercise causes one to sweat a lot. A little sweating is good , but too much can cause a loss of essential minerals that can lead to heart and other problems.

When I was younger I found that I could do any type of exercise with no visible negative effects, but as I got older I discovered that I needed to avoid high impact exercises. I am now 70 and several I have tried out in the last ten years have backfired on me and caused some joint pain. When this has occurred I ceased doing them and switched to something else and the problems went away.

Right now I have found the best exercise with no negative effects is doing jumping jacks on a mini trampoline, often called a “rebounder.” I see that Susan mentioned that she and Michael are sold on this also.

I seek an exercise that doesn’t take much time as my time is precious to me. One thing I have discovered is that short sessions of exercise that gets the heart rate up done several times a day is better than one long one once a day.

What I find works for me is to do jumping jacks on a rebounder 80 times, three times a day. This seems to keep the blood and life energy in circulation. I also do several other exercises.

Right now one of my most intensive workouts comes twice a week when Artie babysits our grandson. He loves chasing me around the house with a foam rubber sword. When I get too tired to continue I let him finish me off.

I read once about some study that said that if you enjoy the exercise that the benefit will almost double so I suppose having fun with a grandson is a good plan for him and me.

There are, of course, many ingredients to good health. Several of you mentioned a key one which is the soul. In this you are in harmony with DK. Here is the first law of healing that is given by him:

All disease is the result of inhibited soul life. This is true of all forms in all kingdoms. The art of the healer consists in releasing the soul so that its life can flow through the aggregate of organisms which constitute any particular form.

Question:

How is the soul released so its life can flow?

To keep the body in good health is a duty… otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.

Buddha

Copyright 2015 by J J Dewey

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Solar Angels & Vibration

This entry is part 38 of 73 in the series 2015

Oct 26, 2015

Solar Angels & Vibration

Dan quotes me from an audio:

The more concrete the form is . . . the more distant is spirit from the life in the form.

[…]

A rock is teeming with life inside it, but its very concretized. It is spirit slowed way down.

It is disturbed to the point that the little lives in it haven’t adjusted very well to spirit. Consequently, they’re dense.

And so the elements that produce dense matter that we can’t go through, are the densest of all. And they’re vibrating at the slowest.

Dan:

In the transcribed bit above, you say [paraphrased/restated]: The little lives inside the rock vibrate slowly and are dense because they haven’t adjusted (very well) to Spirit (which has been disturbed).

1) So, that seems to indicate that those little lives are trying to and will eventually adjust to the higher vibrational rate of Spirit. What happens when they do?

JJ

They will then move into a higher state and advance into a higher state of matter such as the vegetable the animal human and deva until they move back into the vibration of the monad or pure spirit.

Tiny lives are always part of a greater life and the human monad represents trillions of tiny lives that have moved from a lower state in ages past.

Dan

2) What are, from where come, these “little lives”? Are they the Originating Points (Monads), of which some are Human?

JJ

They come from the same place we all come from – the One Great Life which is God. It’s essence is Divine space and the evolution of that life starts with innumerable points of life manifesting in that space, as symbolized by the stars of heaven. These points combine and create greater lives. A human monad represents the combination of trillions of these points.

The little lives are parts of a mineral monad seeking to move higher.

Dan

3) And speaking of that 🙂 If a human Monad is that which lies behind the power of decision, what are other, non-human, Monads?

JJ

All lives of which we are aware, are composed of smaller lives and they all make some type of decision according to their abilities, or respond to decision of higher lives. The smaller lives are merely smaller fragments of the whole than are human monads.

Dan:

4) What/how “disturbs” Spirit?

JJ

Visualize pure spirit as being light and the material world as sound. This is an interesting correspondence since we are told creation of the material world was produced by the Word, or sound.

Both light and sound are composed of vibrations, yet the frequency of the two are universes apart. If we were to take light and make a hologram of you and set it beside you we could not weigh it or even touch it. Your hand would just pass through. The only evidence that it has some type of existence is that you can see it.

The holograph exists as wavelengths just as your physical body does. The difference is that the frequencies in your body are much more dense.

You could say that sound is like light except that sound is distorted or disturbed light which creates an entirely different type of substance than does pure light. Sound includes light, but light does not include sound, though it exists as potential.

JJ [2015 audio# 1]:

“The Solar Angels come from the Sun.”

Dan:

1) Okay, so the SA evolved to perfection in a previous incarnation of this Universe. Why is it, how did it come to dwell, in OUR Sun? Is that where all Solar Angels dwell in this Universal incarnation?

JJ

The most advanced lives in a solar system dwell in its sun. Solar angels dwell there in vehicles of mental matter and are in direct contact with their monads. They dwell there in non physical matter because it is a suitable home to their vibration just as earth life is to ours.

Dan

2) And why isn’t it instead sleeping blissfully in relative perfection seeking to identify “upward” with the highest extant lifeform?

JJ

That time of sleep is yet far away, after this universe is perfected through a long series of incarnations.

Dan

3) In the Grand Tour, Joe visited the Sun and visited with some lives there, were those Solar Angels?

JJ

They were advanced lives, but not yet solar angels.

Dan

4) What IS the Sun?

JJ

Books are written on the sun. Any particular answer you had in mind?

Dan

Define “finer wavelengths”, do you mean shorter (trough to trough) or what?

JJ

Finer would be shorter as light has much shorter ones than sound as mentioned above.

Both sound and light have hidden wavelengths within them that create in other spheres.

Dan

This doesn’t seem like “stilling”, it seems you are describing increasing frequency (what most would call VIBRATION) until the waves become so compressed together that they superimpose and disappear into a . . . . . OH! I think I get it.

They “disappear” (become subsumed) into a yet greater (for wont of a better word) wavelength and . . . so on and so forth.

If correct, then that would be the answer to my question above; what are finer wavelengths? – They would be that into which the “compressed”, lower-order (in terms of density) wavelengths become subsumed.

But man o man, increasing frequency in order to STILL seems almost . . . counter-commonsense/experience.

JJ

Contemplate a machine that produces a light show with synchronized sound and light which respond to the various notes.

If you turn off the sound the light still remains and still plays or responds to the musical notes. Then if you also turn off the lights you still have the sound, light and music existing subjectively in the machine.

Even so, in creation we have numerous spheres of creation composed of various frequencies of sound and light, which in numerous cycles is turned off, but even when off, they still exist subjectively in the mind of God and can be turned back on again.

The sacrifice of the solar angels brought the fourth kingdom in nature into being. The “returning nirvanis” (as they are called in esoteric literature), with deliberation and full understanding, took human bodies in order to raise those lower forms of life nearer to the goal. These were and are ourselves. The “Lords of Knowledge and Compassion and of ceaseless persevering Devotion” (who are ourselves) chose to die in order that lesser lives might live, and this sacrifice has made possible the evolution of the indwelling consciousness of Deity. This consciousness, having worked its way through the subhuman kingdoms in nature, needed the activity of the solar angels to make further progress possible. Herein lies

  1. Our service to God, through sacrifice and death;
  2. Our service to other souls, through deliberate self-sacrificing purpose;
  3. Our service to other forms of life in other kingdoms.

All this involves the death and sacrifice of a Son of God, a solar angel, for, from the angle of Deity, descent into matter, manifestation through form, the taking of a body, extension of consciousness through the process of incarnation, are all occultly considered to be death. But the angels “chose to die, and in dying, lived.” Through their sacrifice, matter is lifted up into Heaven.

Esoteric Psychology II Page 93

Copyright 2015 by J J Dewey

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Pralaya and Change

This entry is part 37 of 73 in the series 2015

Oct 24, 2015

Pralaya and Change

A reader asks if there any change happening during the great Pralaya?

JJ

Good question. To understand the answer let me ask another question.

Is there any change occurring during sleep? If so what is it?

The answer is that there is little observable physical change. Our physical body just lies there doing pretty much nothing.

This does not mean that other types of change are not going on. A change is occurring in your rather quiescent body. While resting it is being recharged so it can function well when the sleep is finished. The same goes for the brain itself. Scientists are still not sure of all that goes on in the brain during sleep but they believe that during rest it goes through some type of reprogramming so it can function well again when awake.

On top of this we dream during sleep. There is generally more change going in during the dream state than during the waking state. During the same night you may dream of being on a south sea island relaxing and being fed wine and cheese by beautiful women and then a few minutes later showing up to work just wearing your underwear.

Then there are additional things going on during sleep that enters the realm of the paranormal. Many self improvement gurus recognize that there is some higher part of ourselves active during sleep and recommend thinking about problems while drifting off to sleep. On awaking, many find that the answer seems to have magically entered the mind.

Actually, during sleep the emotional self stays with us and creates the crazy dreams we have but our mental self goes to higher realms and continues learning or teaching there.

Very few have a memory of the activities of the mental self during sleep because it is not connected to the physical brain during this period.

Pralaya corresponds to sleep, but on a much greater scale. During this period there is no change going on in the worlds of form for these worlds are not in existence, but there is much going on within the subtle worlds. DK tells us that pralaya is not “that which is not,” but “that which is esoteric.”

During pralaya the life of God, which includes all of us, sleeps to the outer world, takes a rest from creation and absorbs and contemplates all that has transpired to get ready for a new creation.

Change indeed occurs, but it is a different kind of change.

When both pralaya and sleep are over the life is rested, recharged and ready for a new adventure.

Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death.

Arthur Schopenhauer

Copyright 2015 by J J Dewey

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DK Quotes

This entry is part 36 of 73 in the series 2015

Oct 23, 2015

DK Quotes

Today I thought I would do something different and give you some DK quotes that I like.

Even Christ Himself struggled with the problem of the divine will, and addressed Himself to the Monad at the moment when He first realised the extent and the complexity of His mission as World Saviour. He then cried aloud: “Father, not My will but Thine be done.” Those words marked the relinquishing of the vehicles through which He had been attempting to salvage humanity; it indicated to Him what might at that time have appeared to be an apparent failure and that His mission was not accomplished. For nearly two thousand years He has waited to bring that mission to fruition; it has marked also for Him the entrance into a new cycle of activity; this cycle will culminate during the next three hundred years in success if this Invocation—as used by all of you and by the Hierarchy—proves its effectiveness. He cannot proceed with His assigned mission without reciprocal action by humanity.

Discipleship In the New Age, Vol 2, Page 173

Evil lies in the refusal to leave behind when conquered; it consists in remaining immersed in matter that is dominated and hath no more to teach; it is the clinging to forms that should not hold the evolving spirit, in vibrating to a rhythm too heavy for the point reached; it is the holding on to things behind instead of stretching up to those ahead and before; it is a desecrating of knowledge gained and a prostituting of it to what is realised to be a retrograde and unworthy step; it is choosing to talk in the dark or twilight when just ahead the light can be seen; it is the choosing of a life of ease and no struggle, a going with the tide, when the inner voice points the way along a rocky and difficult path to a goal acknowledged to be desirable; it is acquiescence instead of aspiration, a standing still instead of going forward, a closing of the eyes instead of straining them to see a wide horizon; it is knowing and not using knowledge. The initiate James knew this when wisely he said, “To him that knows to do good and does it not, to him is sin.”

A Learning Experience; Mary Bailey, Pg 60

The curse of many groups has been the whispered word that “Those who know wish….” “The Master says….” “The Great Ones command…” and the group of silly sheep feebly and blindly tumble over themselves to obey. They think thereby, through their misplaced devotion, to contact certain authoritative personages, and to get into heaven by some short cut.

A Treatise on White Magic, Pg 4

It is useful also to bear in mind that light and matter are synonymous terms, thus echoing the teaching of the East, it becomes apparent that through the interplay of the poles, and through the friction of the pairs of opposites light flashes forth. The goal of evolution is found to be a gradual series of light demonstrations. Veiled and hidden by every form lies light. As evolution proceeds, matter becomes increasingly a better conductor of the light, thus demonstrating the accuracy of the statement of the Christ “I am the Light of the World”.

A Treatise on White Magic, Pgs 9-10

People have sought to adjust the truth to the hour instead of adjusting the hour to the truth.

A Treatise on White Magic, Pg 137

True service is the spontaneous outflow of a loving heart and an intelligent mind; it is the result of being in the right place and staying there; it is produced by the inevitable inflow of spiritual force and not by strenuous physical plane activity; it is the effect of a man’s being what he truly is, a divine Son of God, and not by the studied effect of his words or deeds. A true server gathers around him those whom it is his duty to serve and aid by the force of his life and his spiritualised personality, and not by his claims or loud speaking.

A Treatise on White Magic, Pg 188-9

These three—idealism, group service and sacrifice—are characteristics of those personalities who are becoming increasingly sensitive to the soul aspect, the qualities of that soul being knowledge, love and sacrifice.

A Treatise on White Magic, Pg 396

we must remember that each of us is recognised by the brilliance of his light. This is an occult fact. The finer the grade of matter built into our bodies, the more brilliantly will shine forth the indwelling light. Light is vibration, and through the measurement of vibration is fixed the grading of the scholars. Hence nothing can prevent a man’s progress forward if he but attends to the purification of his vehicles. The light within will shine forth with ever greater clarity, as the refining process goes on, until—when atomic matter predominates—great will be the glory of that inner man. We are all graded, therefore, if it may be so expressed, according to the magnitude of the light, according to the rate of vibration, according to the purity of the tone and the clarity of the colour.

Initiation Human and Solar, Pg 68

Nothing in heaven or hell, on earth or elsewhere can prevent the progress of the man who has awakened to the illusion, who has glimpsed the reality beyond the glamour of the astral plane, and who has heard, even if only once, the clarion call of his own soul.     A Treatise on White Magic, Pg 223

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Challenging Situations

This entry is part 35 of 73 in the series 2015

Oct 20, 2015

Challenging Situations

There are situations that tempt one to suppress that are completely under your control and then there are others where control is awkward, or seemingly harmful.

An example of the first category would be where someone makes remarks that hurt one’s feelings. In this case the person may not want to create a conflict so he doesn’t say anything and acts like his feelings are fine.

In this situation, however, he usually has full power to not suppress and just communicate in a civil manner how the person made him feel. The results will be much more positive than negative and will relieve the grievance and help the relationship.

The second category is where honest communication would seem to have a big downside. There are two main situations where this may occur.

The first is your job and the second a marriage.

If one is in a job where he has a boss that is abusive and he really needs the job and the money then speaking about one’s true feelings or thoughts may get him fired and be the cause of great difficulty for some time to come, especially if such jobs are scarce.

One may also be in a marriage that he or she does not want to see end. Either he is in love and doesn’t want to lose the person or he is very dependent on his partner.

In most situations in a marriage a person can honestly communicate emotions without worrying about divorce, but if certain categories are hot button issues with a mate the person may figure he just needs to control or suppress his feelings if he wants to stay married.

These are awkward situations that make many feel trapped and there are only two ways out.

(1) Be prepared to leave the situation or relationship and as civilly and as honest as possible communicate your feelings or…

(2) Learn to assume the attitude of the observer. As an observer you do not get your feelings hurt no matter how much you are insulted.

If you are at a theater and watching the hero being insulted by the bad guy, are your feelings hurt?

No.

Why?

Because you realize you are the observer.

Like Shakespeare said, we are all actors on the stage of life and if we see ourselves as merely playing a roll then others will have no more power to hurt us than we allow.

I have had a very difficult past marriage and several horrible bosses and I found that looking on those difficult situations as a school type situation, giving me the practice of being the observer was helpful.

I had one boss in construction that really had it in for me and shouted in my face at me on a regular basis. I needed the job and the money so I just tuned him out until he got things out of his system. I used the Lion Principle on him and just realized that he was who he was and there was nothing I could do about it. On the positive side my encounters with him provided good entertainment for other workers.

Anyway, he was unable to hurt my feelings at all; the only negative effect was he hindered me from getting my work done rather than helping.

It is interesting though that if a negative person sees that he can’t have a negative effect on you he will often turn up the volume and become more aggressive and annoying than ever. This will indeed test the seeker’s power to be the observer.

There have been times in my life where I risked everything and others where I played it safe. It is a judgment all one must make using common sense and as much soul contact as possible.

“Any change, any loss, does not make us victims. Others can shake you, surprise you, disappoint you, but they can’t prevent you from acting, from taking the situation you’re presented with and moving on. No matter where you are in life, no matter what your situation, you can always do something. You always have a choice and the choice can be power.”

Blaine Lee

Copyright 2015 by J J Dewey

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Suppression and Anger

This entry is part 34 of 73 in the series 2015

Oct 19, 2015

Suppression and Anger

Tom wants me to comment more on how we are to avoid suppression without cussing in anger.

It is important to understand that there is a difference between suppression and control concerning the emotions. Not all control is suppression. Some suppression does take some control, but often it is the path of least resistance – the easy path to take, putting it in a different category than control that leads to harmlessness which is the path of higher resistance..

If you are angry and restrain yourself from cussing or uncivil behavior that usually has nothing to do with suppression, but control.

Suppression has to do with relationships and honest communication. Control has to do with directing yourself toward good behavior – two entirely different things.

Perhaps it will help if I give examples of the two categories.

Examples of suppression.

Example One

A friend shows up and says he needs to crash at your house for just a day or so. After three days you can’t stand the sight of him as he is quite inconsiderate, but instead of telling him that he must move on you act like everything is cool as you have been friends for a long time and he did you a favor or two in the past.

He stays on overdoing his welcome but you just can’t bring yourself to tell him how you feel about the situation.

Example Two

You fell in love with a wonderful person and everything is going great until he/she receives a call from an old flame to join him/her for dinner. Your emotional self feels uneasy and jealous over this but you pretend to yourself that the feeling does not exist. “It’s silly to feel jealous,” you tell yourself, “for I should trust this person I love.”

Example Three

You have a great relationship with your spouse, but the other day when you told her of a new idea you had she laughed and seemed to act like you couldn’t possibly pull it off. Your feelings were hurt and have been festering, but you don’t want to say anything as you tell yourself that would make you look small. Maybe she has a point.

You’ll notice that all these example involve emotion in relationships and none of them require an expression of anger as a solution. It is noted though that it is better to express in anger than to suppress, but anger is rarely needed to resolve the problem.

Examples of control that do not involve suppression.

Example One:

You hit your thumb with a hammer and start to blurt out some choice words. You see your kid listening to you and immediately stop the cussing and use more kid friendly words to express your situation.

Comment: This is self-control and not suppression and you hold no grievance toward your child.

Example Two

Your boss insults you and this causes you some annoyance and part of you would like to insult him back, but you do not because you’d probably get fired and you need the money.

Comment: Again as long as you hold no grievance or lingering feelings of hurt then containing your anger in this situation would not be suppression.

Example Three:

You get in an argument with a friend and he is so illogical that it is annoying. You just about tell him how stupid you think he is, but restrain yourself for the sake of the friendship.

Comment: In this situation there would normally be no suppression for he holds no grievance toward his friend. He uses self-control to remain civil and is glad for it.

The key to understanding here is that there has to be some type of grievance involved for suppression or denial to be at play. When one suppresses he will find himself wishing he could act differently. When one merely uses self-control he is generally glad he constrained himself and doesn’t wish he had done otherwise.

Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.

Aristotle

Copyright 2015 by J J Dewey

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