Question: What is the solution to suppression and denial? How do we help one who suppresses to express their true feelings? How do we help one who is in denial to admit that they are harboring negativity?
One of the problems with suppression is it creates negative energy within us that acts like steam building up in a kettle. It builds and builds and builds in pressure until it explodes through the safety value. If there is no release through such a valve then the person will develop many health problems because of the internal pressure.
Most people with the problem of suppression are basically nice people. Casual acquaintances will see them as very balanced emotionally, one who never flies off the handle. But those in close relationship know better.
When in close relationship with a suppresser and you hurt their feelings once, twice or three times nothing seems to happen. In fact they pretend that their feelings are fine and that you have done nothing to offend them. You, the offender, tend to think to yourself that it is nice to be around an individual who is so tolerant. You may continue to hurt their feelings a dozen times or more and all still seems to be well from the outside, but inside a storm is brewing. As the pressure of the emotion grows inside it reaches a point where it merely takes one more small offense to create the explosion.
When the explosion happens (with the straw that breaks the camel’s back) it often comes with a very small offense to which the person responds with great anger or emotion. The person making the offense is beside himself. Often the offense is so small that he has no idea what he did wrong and he is most puzzled that his associate seems to be acting way out of character. Whereas this person usually seems so level headed – now all of a sudden he’s acting like someone totally out of control.
What is the solution?
It is not easy for the one suppressing because it is very difficult for them to find and face their true feelings.
Much help can come from their associates, especially a lover or spouse. One must pay strict attention all the time when in relationship with one who suppresses. Whenever you say something that could cause hurt, do not listen to their words, but tune in to their feelings. Picking up negativity is probably the easiest energy to receive psychically because it is so dense and powerful, so you do not have to be extremely sensitive here.
When you pick up or calculate that a new storm is brewing the best thing to do is to get the small storm moving before the big storm happens. If you keep letting some air out of the tire it will never blow up. In this case the energy of harmony through conflict is a good path and it is advisable to forcefully draw the hurt out of the person. If you sense there is hurt and he or she says no everything is fine then press the issue. If the suppresser still denies then repeat the offense.
“So it really doesn’t bother you at all that I think your kid is spoiled rotten?”
Do whatever it takes to bring the emotion to the surface. If you bring it up before the boiling point is reached then it will be much easier to deal with. When the emotion does come to the surface the instigator must turn into Mr. Nice Guy and apologize profusely if necessary and show a fullness of love and acceptance to the suppresser. This will often result in a very blissful sharing between the two.
Have you heard it said that the most passionate lovemaking is after a good fight? This is the same principle at work.
It is important that we each learn whether we or our associates suppress and the easiest way to discover it is through handwriting analysis.
Suppression is revealed in handwriting through the retracing of strokes, particularly in the letters M and N, but can also be revealed to a lesser degree in other letters.
Look at the first sample below.
The upstrokes on the first M retraces showing suppression of emotion. The second M has little retracing showing normal control and the third has all the upstrokes breaking off with no retracing showing a person with a very outgoing and healthy release.
Marianne Williamson’s writing gives us an example retracing with high suppression whereas John Kennedy’s writings shows a very healthy emotional release.
Study these and attempt to see where your handwriting fits. If you are surprised to discover suppression this is normal because, as I said, many people who have the problem do not acknowledge it in themselves.
Denial of emotion can also be discovered in handwriting and is revealed in the backhand script. The one who denies does not allow himself to feel all the emotion that is there for him. This habit is usually initiated through some major hurt in childhood. The prime suspect is the parents, but a lover or peer group can also be the cause.
After the major hurt occurs the person decides that he does not want to ever hurt like that again so he will not allow himself to feel with full intensity again. By not allowing the registration of full feeling the person thinks he is protected from full hurt.
This denial has several negative repercussions. First by tuning out the bad he also tunes out the good and denies himself many of the emotional joys available in life.
Secondly, he also winds up tuning out his sensitivity to his own soul so the channel of soul contact is lessened.
If you discover through handwriting that you have suppression or denial what should you do?
The most important thing with suppression is to PAY ATTENTION at all times to the emotions you feel within you, not matter how silly, unenlightened or insignificant they seem. When you feel them acknowledge them and seek a way to release them
If you discover denial the cure is to face your fears about feeling emotion with full intensity for he who denies, denies because he is afraid of repeating an old hurt.
Another thing you can do is to seek to alter your handwriting. Practice making your M’s and N’s with no retracing. If you have a backhand practice writing with a slight forward slant. After about six weeks of such practice some will experience an internal change.
Question: When you feel an emotion within you that you are tempted to ignore or suppress what should you do? What if it will offend others by bringing it out in the open? What if it makes you look petty or unenlightened? Should you do it anyway?
April 22, 2000
Copyright by J J Dewey
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