Achieving Balance Part II
Alice is married to Rocky. Alice is a seeker and Rocky is not. His favorite pastime is attending football and other games, drinking beer and watching TV. Rocky is a nice guy, a good provider, but Alice receives nothing from him on a spiritual level. He has a great knowledge of football and attempts to teach her about the nuances of the game and she absorbs a little, but this falls far short of fulfilling her desire to receive. She tries to share with him some of the teachings she has studied but he feels she is on the fringe with her thinking and the relationship would be much improved if she remained quiet and never read another book.
(1) Is this relationship worth saving?
This is a judgment call. The relationship will never reach the ideal for Alice (or Rocky for that matter), but if Rocky allows Alice her freedom to explore and learn she can still achieve reasonable fulfillment.
(2) Is it possible for Alice and Rocky to achieve balance and fulfillment?
It is possible. Read on.
(3) If they decide to continue the relationship, what steps can Alice take to bring her the greatest possible satisfaction?
A reasonable balance can be achieved if Alice is able to find a sender or two to take the place of her non sending husband. This must be achieved without creating a threat to Rocky, for if it does the relationship is doomed. If Alice compromises her learning to keep Rocky happy then her progress is doomed.
(4) If Alice decides to bolt from the relationship what would be a good plan for her to formulate?
When the necessary adjustments are made, and if another relationship is desired, Alice needs to look for a partner who can send to her and stimulate her progress thus creating a balance of energy.
Dale is a seeker, but when he met Erica all philosophy took a backseat for she was very beautiful with a wild personality. After a whirlwind romance they married, but after the dust settled Dale is discovering a void. Erica is interested in the physical and social almost exclusively and insists that neither of them discuss politics, religion or philosophy.
Dale has a strong desire to give in these areas and seems unable to do so.
What should he do?
The two are so different in their interests that it will indeed be a challenge for both to balance their energies. The only way this can happen is that both recognize the differences and support the fulfillment of each other’s needs. If Dale is accepting of Erica he can go out of his way to attend social functions and if that isn’t enough Erica can engage in other activities with friends not threatening to the relationship.
On the other hand, if Erica is tolerant Dale can satisfy his needs by joining groups, teaching classes and joining discussions interesting to him, but not Erica. He can just accept that Erica will not be there engaging with him but will focus on the areas where they can engage together.
If the two are cooperative and tolerant they both can still have a life where their energies are balanced.
But if one or both are not understanding and tolerant of the other’s needs then they will be unsatisfied if they stay together or wind up divorcing.
The key that each seeker must register is that we live in a world of energies and each must assess the flow and direction within themselves and seek to balance then.
If the seeker does achieve balance then he or she can live in a state of peace even in the midst of turmoil.
March 20, 2001
Copyright by J J Dewey
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