Achieving Balance Part I

Achieving Balance Part I

The basic idea I have presented in the Molecular Relationship is this:

(1) The ideal endpoint of the male/female relationship is a committed monogamous marriage where both are happy with their union.

(2) Ideally that relationship will place the female in the receiving position and the male in the sending position in the majority of circumstances.

(3) To create this ideal the male should be evolved enough to send to and stimulate his mate toward higher evolution.

(4) This ideal is not an end, but a beginning to a greater relationship which corresponds to the Molecular World.

The Problem?

Few have reached this ideal. Even many fairly happy marriages have not reached it because of a lack of understanding of the sending/receiving principle. Quite a few fairly stable marriages have the female playing the male roll. A marriage may be stable in this situation, but will not reach a fullness because the final energy needed for that fullness will not be available. Many there are who sense this but do not speak about it because they do not understand how to achieve that which is lacking.

Where the energies are not balanced each individual will feel there is something that is lacking, but will not be sure what it is.

We have all seen couples who seem to be stable and quite happy with each other, but then unexpectedly the husband or wife out of the blue has an affair, or does something else out of character that alarms all their friends. Often this is caused by a desire to fill that unexplainable void that has been gnawing at them for years. This void was caused by an imbalance of energy, which if understood, could have been solved without causing pain and heartbreak to his or her companion.

As it is, none of us have a perfect relationship, nor should we expect one, for we are all individuals. We can, however, seek to have a fulfilling one, especially when the desired energy flow is understood.

The problem is that few married or committed couples have the interplay necessary to become a Molecular Atom (Adam).

So how do we solve the various problems?

Problem One

Sue is married to Jim and both of them are seekers of truth, but Sue studies, explores and contemplates much more than her husband. It seems that she is always the one who leads them into their next course of endeavor. She finds many new ideas and truths and is always sharing them with Jim. Jim finds some things also and gives good feedback, but Sue is the main sender.

They love each other, but both feel there is something more they could have together, but that “more” seems so vague that they do not even speak of it.


The first part of the solution is to study and understand the principles of the Molecular Relationship. Once the principles of energy and sending and receiving are understood they must ask themselves this question:

Is our love strong enough and the benefit each of us receives from the relationship great enough that both of us desire to stay together in this life?

If the answer is no then a separation may be in order, but let me issue a warning. Only take this drastic procedure when it is right with your own soul, for if you are taking it with the idea of finding a better suited mate this may not materialize. You may wind up in a worse situation than you have at present.

If the answer is yes then recommit to your relationship to make the relationship stable. This commitment must stand even though another person with a better energy balance comes into your life. If you only commit until someone better comes along then stability and trust will be impossible. If you decide to accept one another then follow through with that acceptance.

Of course, this commitment should be predicated on the normal standards of relationship. If the mate is unfaithful or takes a significant change of direction or interest then separation becomes an option. But barring the unforeseen, commitment and trust should be pursued.

So Jim and Sue examine their relationship and like most of us find it is not perfect, but the bond is strong enough that they recommit to each other even with the realization of their strong and weak points.

A weak point is that Sue is the main sender who has a natural inclination to receive and Jim has a natural inclination to send. How can greater balance be received?

To achieve this balance a third and fourth party must be brought into the equation. The third party is a non-threatening sender and the fourth is a non-threatening receiver.

Because the Molecular Relationship is not yet set up couples must work with the means available. In the real world at present this third party would be a teacher of some kind who would teach the couple as a unit.

Such a teacher could be a minister both admire, a teacher in a regular classroom situation, a political leader and to some degree an author of a book they study together.

The couple thus receive the sending energy together. When Sue and Jim apply this in their lives Sue feels more balanced because she is receiving energy and becomes full.

Jim, on the other hand becomes more than full because he was already polarized in the sending mode so the reception on his part causes him to be overcharged in the sending mode. He cannot send the energy (words are a form of energy) to Sue because she has already received it, so what can he do?

This position of surplus charge often leads the male into an affair with a female “who understands him” or will receive with appreciation that which his wife already has.

When the energy flow is understood this situation can be prevented. Because Sue understands energy she realizes that Jim must send and that she cannot be the receiver. To eliminate the temptation of an unwanted female being his receiver other receivers who are non-threatening must be brought in. This could be as simple as inviting friends over for dinner and discussing with them what the couple has learned as a unit. In this case Sue would be wise to sit back and let Jim do most of the talking in explaining to their friends what they have learned.

I try to apply this principle with my wife. Even though she is a female and polarized as a receiver to me she still has sending energies within her which need to be released. When we are with friends and talking about a subject that she knows as good or better than myself I enjoy sitting back and let her do the teaching.

She has perhaps the most opportunity to send in our business. She does the majority of the work in handling our customers and sending to them and I often wind up doing the grunt work. She was just recently joking to me that some of our customers wonder if I am very bright because she takes charge so much.

I can sense that this brings her fulfillment for all of us need to both send and receive, but when to send and when to receive is where the problem lies.

Sometimes when we are with friends and I am in the sending mode and do most of the talking my wife will feel a little out of balance because being in a receiver position to me through the week and then being in a receiver position again with friends is more receiving than is comfortable. Thus we see that understanding and wisdom are essential to balance energies that lead to fulfillment.

When the Molecular Relationship is properly set up the opportunity to balance energy will be more abundant. The couple will always have a teacher/sender available from which to receive and there will always be student/receivers for whom to give.

Problem Two

Alice is married to Rocky. Alice is a seeker and Rocky is not. His favorite pastime is attending football and other games, drinking beer and watching TV. Rocky is a nice guy, a good provider, but Alice receives nothing from him on a spiritual level. He has a great knowledge of football and attempts to teach her about the nuances of the game and she absorbs a little, but this falls far short of fulfilling her desire to receive. She tries to share with him some of the teachings she has studied but he feels she is on the fringe with her thinking and the relationship would be much improved if she remained quiet and never read another book.


(1) Is this relationship worth saving?

(2) Is it possible for Alice and Rocky to achieve balance and fulfillment?

(3) If they decide to continue the relationship, what steps can Alice take to bring her the greatest possible satisfaction?

(4) If Alice decides to bolt from the relationship what would be a good plan for her to formulate?

“The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.” Bumper Sticker

March 17, 2001

Copyright by J J Dewey 

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