McCall Gathering 2000, Part 9


McCall Gathering 2000, Part 9

Handling Divorce

JJ: It’s interesting that the religious world is proclaiming, “We have the highest divorce rate in the world and this is really terrible.” In many ways this is good, outside of the children involved. If there are children involved you always have to make a judgment call. You may have to sacrifice and stay in a relationship you don’t want. You just have to evaluate if it’s worth it or not.

If the relationship is going nowhere, if the person you are with refuses to change or if the personality is in the way so much that there is no way you can force yourself to look at the soul all the time, then maybe you just don’t have the wherewithal to see the soul all the time in that person. Oftentimes what happens is a person moves from one person to another and the new person is just as hard to get along with as the last one. Maybe the problem is within themselves. Maybe they have to straighten out their own life. They also have to look at that. If you are going from one relationship to the other and you find out that this tenth guy is just as bad as the first, second, third on up, and the new guy is always as bad as the last guy, then we just have to ask ourselves, “Maybe it’s me. Maybe I have something to do with it’s not working this time.” There is a lot involved in relationships.

The key, to making it work again is to get to soul here. In our relationships we have to remove the physical deception, make our words 100% true and remove the emotional deception, so that everything you communicate emotionally to the other person is 100% accurate. If you feel a grievance between you and any other human being you need to go to that person and say, “Hey look, I’ve felt this bad feeling toward you for five years and I want to heal it. You did this to me and you made me feel this way toward you and I just need to get rid of it.” You need to get rid of any grievance you may have.

Audience: One of the ten steps in Alcoholic’s Anonymous is to write your grievance down and the fifth step is to go to that person, if it won’t do any harm.

JJ: That’s a good step.

Audience: It’s not something you can do by yourself. You can’t just go to your sister and say, “I forgive you for everything you’ve done in my life.”

JJ: I’m glad you said that. That’s a great point. Many people say, “I forgive everybody.” Saying it isn’t enough. You have to let the grievance out. My sister recently died of cancer. One of the biggest causes of cancer is a grievance. You are holding in hurt. When I heard she had cancer, I analyzed her handwriting and sure enough it showed some suppression. Every person I’ve seen with cancer has had it. Because what you are not revealing to yourself, your body is trying to reveal to you by what it’s suppressing.

I visited my sister and told her what I discovered, that she suppresses and I’d been trying to figure out what it may be. I said, “One of your sons is gay. Maybe it’s that.” “Nope”, she said, “It’s not that.” I named a couple things and she said, “I do not suppress. I call a spade a spade. End of discussion.” She wouldn’t let me go any farther. She sensed I was encroaching on something that she didn’t want to face. Unfortunately, she died a few months later. I was never able to finish that discussion with her.

Audience: What if the person you need to discuss it with has died?

JJ: You can have a conversation with them as if they are here. Or, you can have another person in their place and just talk to them as if they are still here and that will help release. Ask for their forgiveness, and have the other person stand in and give the answer he thinks the dead person would give.

Audience: Can you have a grievance with yourself?

JJ: No. You can have negativity towards yourself. I come down a lot harder on myself than on anybody else. You can be mad at yourself. You can be angry at yourself. You can’t really have a grievance with yourself, but you can have guilt which is just as bad. You can’t really hide from yourself. If you’re angry with yourself, you know you’re angry with yourself. You can have anger because of a situation and you just pretend the anger doesn’t exist; that’s the closest you can come to a grievance with yourself.

Audience: I have a friend from Russia and her mother died of cancer and then my friend got cancer and then her 10 year old child had leukemia and another child has an inoperable brain tumor they believe is cancerous. What is the correspondence here that this family has been so taken over by this?

JJ: We incarnate in groups. Your mother, sister, brother, father, you have known them in past lives. Oftentimes the groups you incarnate with will have characteristics very similar to your own. If you are a person who will carry a grievance, you will be associated with people close to you who may also carry grievances. Children that have bad things happen to them – they are often results from karma from past lives. Sometimes there will be a grievance from a past life that wasn’t resolved and the kid is born with maybe a brother or sister that he has to resolve the grievance with even in this life. That can carry over and cause cancer. It could be other things too. There is usually never one single cause of any illness. It is usually caused by a multitude of things. From a bad diet to emotional problems, to suppression, to lack of exercise, to negative thinking, there are all kinds of things involved. Suppression is a really big problem with cancer. Probably 50% of cancer would disappear if we could get rid of suppression.

We’ll go into removing the barriers between us and the soul tomorrow. Any other questions before we wrap it up.

Audience: You talked about releasing suppression and that you can see suppression in handwriting. If you release suppression, will the handwriting change?

JJ: Yes. As you change your personality, your handwriting will change.

Audience: Will your handwriting be vastly different?

JJ: You’d think it will be. People will have a change of slant and it looks like a really big change. But it’s only a change in one thing.

When I was back in college, I got this card from this girl, that was signed, “A secret admirer.” She did her best to hide her handwriting. She changed her style. Have you ever seen somebody but a straight edge on their writing? They write and then they fill in the lower part, it makes their writing extremely straight across. They write with a piece of paper over the other paper and you write everything but the lower zone. Then you take the paper off and fill in the lower zone. It makes the handwriting look really neat. It also makes the handwriting look a lot different than the regular writing. She did her best to disguise her writing by using this method. So her writing looked a lot different. I don’t think she knew I was a handwriting analyst. Maybe she did, but I thought, “This is a challenge.”

We went to this thing called MIA every week with the church I was connected with. A friend of mine was the secretary. There were a couple hundred of us. When we would attend, we would sign the roll, every week. I contacted my friend that was the secretary and asked him if I could look at the signatures. That was all I had to go by. She had a couple things in her handwriting that stood out quite well and I found the one that was it. She had done a really good job of disguising her writing. I met her at a dance a couple of weeks later and thanked her for the card and she was just flabbergasted. She figured I must have been a prophet or something.

Audience: (laughter.) You can change your personality by changing your handwriting. You can?

A different audience member asks:

You told me to keep my “m’s” open. I can’t seem to keep them open.

JJ: Changing the “m’s” is the most difficult thing. Just like “I.” Changing your suppression is really difficult. It’s very difficult to do in your handwriting. There is one thing that is pretty easy to change; I’m going to give it as an exercise. I may have given it to the internet group, I don’t remember. They’ve done experiments with this in France with kids’ handwriting. They had them change their handwriting. They gave them exercises to change their handwriting and then saw if that changed their behavior. They found out it took about six weeks. In about six weeks the kids started changing their behavior. Because the handwriting was to change the kid’s behavior for the better, it made the kids better behaved, more cooperative. The easiest thing to change in your handwriting is your “t” crosses. (JJ demonstrating on the chalkboard.) How high you cross your “t’s” shows how high you set your goals. (He finished up by illustrating changes in handwriting that can produce changes in personality).

First posted July 30, 2004. The Gathering took place June, 2000.

Copyright by J J Dewey

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