Handling Negative People

Handling Negative People

2021 Gathering, Part Twenty-Six

Now, if you’re married, giving praise is especially important. (laughter) Yeah, Asaph doesn’t have to worry about that. But if you’re married, your spouse really appreciates a little praise.

And I probably don’t give my wife nearly as much praise as she deserves, righteously deserves. (laughter)

Curtis: You can give her some now.

JJ: But I know she really appreciates it when I do praise her, and I appreciate it when she praises me. But it has to be legitimate. Not just this something fabricated or made up, but we need to see something that somebody is doing right, that they’re doing correctly, and give them some praise. And you know who we need to praise right now? Good old Tyler for keeping everything together. (applause and cheers)

Tyler: No actually, seriously my wife, I called her and said, “hey, I volunteered to do a barbecue,” and she said, “you did what?” (laughter) But she did pretty much everything. I put some patties on the thing, flipped them, only flipped a few, but she did so much. She bought all the food and did everything.

JJ: So of yourself, you can do nothing, then? (laughter)

Tyler: Yeah, you’re right about that.

Audience: What’s your wife’s name?
Tyler: Monica. So, Monica, thank you.

JJ: Yeah. Good example of principle of glory right there. Good example, Tyler.

I just wanted to say one thing about “of myself, I can do nothing.” One perspective we could have about that is the fact that the reflection of God is within every cell of our body, in every atom of our body. So in essence, it is God working through this larger vehicle, so “of ourselves, we can do nothing,” but God is working it out through us. We are one with the life of God, so that’s just another perspective that we can have about that statement.

Any other comments before we go? We’re going to the steakhouse tonight. Did you get an itemization of everyone who’s going?

Artie: I think everyone is going.

Phillip: I’ve got a question or a thought, maybe a little of everything.

JJ: Sure.

Phillip: First off, I really like the framework that you’re providing. Because I see stuff where Rebecca and I have talked to a number of people that are very much, there’s some groups online that we’ve interacted with . . .  Dr. Decrist.

JJ: Yeah.

Phillip: Um, and we’ve noticed that they’re very dangerous. (laughter)

JJ: Some of the breakoff groups are, yeah. Some of them I’d stay away from.

Phillip: Yeah, it’s a danger and we recognize it, and I don’t know that I can draw a circle around it and say, here’s exactly why. But I know that, like, it sounds like they’re stuck in those first three phases where I can look at them and I can say, “yeah, you’re likely to flip, or you’re likely to turn or to . . .

JJ: Take the dark path?

Phillip: Take the dark path . . . or if you give them, uh, you give them an insider, give them something, you just know that they’re going to twist it through . . . now I can see it’s their emotional understanding or it conflicts with their current view that they’re holding on to so tight. But they, we’ve just seen it a number of times where people will take something, you give them some negative value or truth, and they flip. And next thing you know, they’re just absolutely against you. And you’re just like, I can’t spend any time with you because I recognize in you this that there’s this danger.

And we’ve there’s been a couple of people.

JJ: Yeah. Like those Daybell’s, for instance, they were dangerous.

Phillip: Yeah. Yeah.

JJ: And probably people didn’t realize it for a while.

Susan: I knew him.

JJ: You knew the Daybell’s?

Susan: Oh, yeah. I knew Chad. I helped him come down to Manti once. (laughing)

JJ: Really?

Susan: In August.

JJ: Did he seem harmless?

Susan: Absolutely. I mean, I’ve known him for years and years and years.

JJ: Really?

Susan: Yeah. You’d never know.

JJ: They’ve got to make a movie about those two.

Susan: I was amused by him, so I never got the really creepy stuff, I figured.

JJ: Some of those ex-Mormons are some of the most dangerous religious people out there. Here’s what I do with them. If I get a feeling about somebody, especially an ex-Mormon, that’s really taken themselves seriously, I just tune them out and avoid them completely if they stimulate my spidey sense. I wouldn’t argue with them or anything. I just avoid them and tune them out as if they don’t exist.

What I try to do with people I don’t want in my life, I try to present them in my mind as if they do not exist and then they never show up again, hopefully.

Ed: But that’s the principle of God, basically when God takes his attention off the world, the world goes into Pralaya.

Asaph: Disintegrates.

JJ: Right. And you can do that with people you know. You want just good people in your life, so focus on them. If there’s any negative people that show up, create the attitude of mind as if they do not exist and pretty soon, they won’t exist in your life. They’ll exist somewhere, but not for you.

Ed: There’s a statement what you resist, you increase because you put energy into it by your attention.

JJ: Yeah, I’ve seen people entertain real negative people and they become nightmares in their lives and that’s what we want to avoid.

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