Perception and Truth
2021 Gathering, Part Sixteen
Joshua: I’ve had somebody use a phrase with me in a conversation, and I called them out for it. And then they said, “well, you know . . .” And then I said something, and they were like, “oh yeah, I really meant that.” But what they said was totally different from the thing that they allegedly meant.
JJ: Kind of weird how that happens. It’s very difficult to . . . you can’t really win an argument with an emotional person. Because when you try to correct yourself, you say, “well, that’s not me. I don’t mean that. I don’t believe that. I never said that, and if you heard it that way, you misunderstood me.” And sometimes they’ll turn around and say, “are you calling me a liar?” (laughter) “No, I’m not calling you a liar, you just misunderstood me.”
And so, a highly evolved person arguing with a very emotional person has a lot of difficulty because of incorrect perception. This is one of the most important places to use correct perception.
Where we have disagreements with another human being, we must perceive them correctly and judge them correctly. Judge them as an honest person, and say, “well, if that’s not what you meant, tell me in your own words what you really meant. ‘Cause this is what I felt that you meant. So tell me what you really meant.” Then if the person will be honest, then you can resolve the conflict.
If the person refuses to let you correct yourself and communicate what you really did mean, then it’s a problem that’s very difficult to resolve. If you have an argument with an emotional person, they do often not want to perceive correctly. The most important part of this key is to desire to perceive correctly – not to desire to perceive in a way that you can win an argument, or that’s to your advantage – but just desire to perceive what is really there. That’s the most important part of the key.
Okay, anything else?
Michael: So there’s a gentleman by the name of Thomas Kuhn, and he’s the person that in the sixties coined the word paradigm. And he studied scientists and a lot of different things about them, but one of the observations that he made was that if scientists had a preconceived idea as to how an experiment would turn out, they really believed this was how it was going to work, that oftentimes they would twist the data to make it fit their belief. And so, if we had a really strong belief – political, religious, personality, whatever . . . if we’re really attached to that, and somebody presents something that doesn’t fit, we’re going to twist it, so it fits. We’ll discount it completely.
And so to understand, I think, the role that perception plays and being willing to step back and say, “maybe I’m right, maybe I’m not. I’m not attached to this outcome. It maybe needs more exploration.” But I found that pretty interesting . . . And I talked to a friend who ran a chemical lab, a PhD in chemistry, and I told him about that. And he goes, “oh yeah, we do that all the time.” “Really? You’re a brilliant scientist and you twist facts?” “Oh yeah, it just happens.”
That was quite an eye-opener. And understanding that, and then you watch political discourses and what people post about this and that, it’s like, it doesn’t matter what the facts are. “I’ll make it fit.”
JJ: Right. And that happens all the time. It’s kind of sad, and that happens in polls too. The polls, they’ll say, “well, the polls show that 80% of people believe this.” But what you have to look at is the question that is asked. Often, they do not tell you how they asked the question, or who they asked the question to. How they ask the question can change the numbers 30-40%.
Like, “do you think we should get out of Afghanistan?” Well, 90% of the people would say yes. You could say, “well, that means Joe Biden did the right thing.” (laughter) But 90% of the people don’t think he did the right thing the way that he did it. So that’s just one way they can askew the polls.
And they do this politically all the time. They’ll ask a poll a certain way, and then they’ll project . . . tell what they think the poll is supposed to tell us. They will askew it, and completely distort it, instead of just telling us what is actually perceived, and telling us the truth about the questions asked and who was asked to.
We have this deception going on all the time, because of incorrect perception and incorrect communication of what is perceived. It creates a big problem for humanity.
Okay, any other comments or questions?
Adam: I was going to say was that when get into discussions or arguments with people, a lot of times we just want to be right, rather than be right. (slow laughter)
Curtis: Like Adam said, we have to let go of wanting to be right. You know, that’s another ‘let go’ thing. You know, I could be right, I could be wrong, but I can’t be attached to being right or wrong. And A Course in Miracles says, “would you rather be right or be happy?”
And sometimes if you’re in an argument . . .
JJ: Some people would rather be right than be happy.
Curtis: Yeah, “I’d rather be right and make you miserable.”
Adam: We have to acknowledge truth where it is, right? Instead of continually trying to push an agenda to be right.
Curtis: Yeah. I’m not attached to being right, to making myself right.
Adam: When someone makes good point, concede and move on.
Curtis: Right, let’s move on to having dinner or something more constructive, like a movie.
JJ: Okay. Yeah?
Shawn: It feels good to acknowledge truth, to state truth. It feels good to be truthful. I was in a couple of situations with police officers, and I didn’t notice at the time that they’re trained to just lie, lie, lie. It’s just what they do all day long. And so . . .
JJ: They’re trained to lie?
Shawn: They’re trained to lie. I mean they do it so well, they must be trained. Because they lied so much to me and I found out they lied to my wife, to try to get me to say something else.
JJ: If they are trying to convict you of a crime, that certainly could be true.
Shawn: They’re trying to get at the truth, and their way of getting at the truth is just to lie to you. Like, “well, you’re wife said this. Did that really happen?” “Well, I didn’t see that.” And so I told the truth. “I didn’t see that. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” They would tell me again. “Well that’s what she said. Are you sure you didn’t see that.” And I said, “I didn’t see that.”
Later, I found out my wife never said that.
JJ: Really?
Shawn: My wife had never said that to them. And in other situations as well, and they may or may not believe you. I think they believe you, but then they lie and say, you know, this that and the other to try to get to the truth. That’s just their way of doing it, I think.
JJ: Yeah, that’s sad when that happens, when they’re trying to convict people of something that they overstep their bounds there.
Okay. Anything else before we wrap it up? We’re going to have Joshua show us the movie Excalibur, and Tyler is going to set it up for us, hopefully.
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