Bob and Betty were thrilled to see me again after an absence of about four and a half years. I was equally happy to see them and renew our friendship. After catching up to date on various events I finally explained why I had come back to England and why I had come to visit them.
I pulled out a picture of Margaret and showed it to them. It was a professional portrait she had taken a couple years ago and had mailed me a copy a some time ago. Bob took it in his hands, looked closely at it and studied it in silence for a moment. It was a long moment for me as the course of my life depended on his response.
Finally Bob spoke, “You know, you sent me a couple other pictures of girls you were dating in the past and none of them stirred any response. I was pretty sure that none of them was the girl in the vision. But this one… This one is different. This one strikes a chord. This one looks like the one I saw.” Then he reflected a moment and continued, ”But it has been a long time in the past now. I’m pretty sure, but can’t say with 100% certainty.
I guess I could have let it go at that, but I figured I needed to give the effort my best shot else I may have some type of additional problem to deal with.
I spoke to Bob, “There is a good possibility I can take you back in time and have you recall your vision with perfect clarity. If you’ll trust me and allow me to take you back we may be able to solve this thing once and for all.”
Bob gave his permission and I used a guided meditation technique to take him back. He was an excellent subject and went back with total recall. (Note: This was before I believed in reincarnation or did past life regressions, but I did a number of regressions concerning people’s current lives sometimes clear back to the moment of their birth)
I guided him back in time so he would relive the event as if he were right there going through it the first time.
Finally, I asked him what he saw. He then said that he saw a great gathering of the Saints at the Valley of Adam Ondi Ahman. They were waiting for the appearance of the Ancient of Days. He said he saw a lot of people that he knew. I then told him to look in my direction.
He then seemingly looked at me and exclaimed, “You have your hand back!”
“That’s interesting,” I said. ”Now look at my wife. Do you see her?”
“Is she the same one that is in the picture?”
He then said, “Your wife that I see here is ten to fifteen years older than the one in the picture and she has a partially transparent veil over her face so it is difficult to tell for sure, but she really looks like the one in the picture, but older.”
“Take a very close look and tell me how sure you are,” I said.
There was a short silence and then he spoke, “The more I study her face the more sure I become. I am pretty sure, but not absolutely. I’m over 90% sure. It not only looks like her but I feel that it is her.”
Finally, I asked the clincher, “How tall is she? Point your finger at my body as to how far the top of her head comes up on me.”
Then to my astonishment he pointed to the exact spot that indicated her true height of 5’2″. What made it even more interesting is that I never told Bob how tall Margaret was.
Then I said, “When you first told me about your vision you told me that you saw my wife as being tall with long dark hair. Why would you have said she was tall when she was not?”
He was still reliving the vision and studied her again. “There’s something about her that stands out in my mind when I see her and she just seems taller than she is. But I can see her clearly now and she is not actually tall but only comes up to here on you.” Again he motioned to the point on my body indicating her height.
“That’s interesting,” I said and directed him to go forward in his vision, and at the end of it he saw the Ancient of Days arise to speak and he said these words:
“Now have the Sons of Levi offered an offering of righteousness unto me.”
When he heard these words he was overwhelmed and almost passed out. The Spirit seemed to very strong to him. I brought him back to the present and he related his astonishment at the powerful feeling he felt when the Ancient of Days spoke.
After he composed himself I said, “It sounds like the woman in the vision looked at lot like Margaret, but are you absolutely sure?”
“I’m pretty sure,” he said, “but look. Marrying someone is a serious step and I do not want you marrying anyone on my say-so unless I am 100% sure. So I’ll tell you what I’m going to do.”
“What?” I asked.
“I’m going to pray tonight and ask God if she is the one in the vision and if you are supposed to marry her. I don’t want you doing anything on my word unless I know for sure it is God’s will.”
“Okay,” I said haltingly. This was a step I hadn’t anticipated, though knowing Bob the way I did, I should have.
“After everyone goes to bed, I will stay up in the quiet of the night and pray and seek a sure answer,” he said.
So that’s what we did. Betty, the kids, and I all went to bed and Bob stayed up and sought an answer. Amazingly, I slept like a baby. I was awakened earlier than I expected by Bob rapping on my door about 6 AM.
I roused myself out of a deep sleep and took a look in Bob’s direction. He looked happy as a lark and had a big grin on his face. Just like Margaret’s smile was an indicator of her answer so was Bob’s.
He approached my bed and said, “I have been up all night praying and have not yet had any sleep. I know this is important so I decided to pray until I received an answer.”
“And did you get an answer?”
“I did,” he said with some excitement on his face.
“And what answer did you receive?”
“Here is what happened,” he said. ”I prayed for several hours and finally I received an answer. The answer was yes, Margaret was the one in the vision and you are supposed to marry her. Then I asked myself if I was absolutely sure for I did consider that I was imagining the answer and I was not 100% sure. I decided to ask again. Then I received the answer for the second time even more clearly than the first. Still I could not say that I was 100% sure so I asked again and prayed through the night. As the morning came I received an answer for the third time. This time it came with such power that there was no room for doubt.”
Then he looked at me in all seriousness and said, “I do not know why, but for some reason you are supposed to marry that girl. Of this I am now absolutely sure and have no doubt.”
I then recalled the commitment I made to God. I told Him that if Bob positively identified Margaret as the one in his vision then I would agree to marry her. And now before me was Bob who was supremely positive not only that she was the one in the vision, but that it was the will of God that I marry her. I found it amazing that this Higher Intelligence knew in advance that Bob would be convinced.
I was now faced with the difficult task of following through with my promise. After all, a promise to God is not something that you can just walk away from.
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For Time and All Eternity
After a nice visit and saying goodbyes I returned to Peterlee. It was now clear beyond any doubt that a higher power wanted me to marry Margaret and was prepared to go to any length to make sure our union became a reality. The question in my mind was, why.
At that time I believed in the church’s doctrine of eternal marriage, that when you are married in the LDS temple ceremony that you are not only committed for this earth life, but all eternity. Now, I knew a lot of religious people who did not seem to understand what eternity was as many seemed willing to risk trillions of years of grief for a few minutes of pleasure. I was not like that. I understood numbers – that eternity was indeed a long long time. This as one of the reasons I put such intensity into finding a compatible mate. If it was in the celestial cards that I live with a wife for eternity I thought it wise to chose one that I would enjoy being with – one with similar goals, interests and temperament to myself.
That’s why I made a list of about thirty characteristics that would be desirable in an eternal mate. Rhea was the first to meet almost all of those thirty points yet I was told that I was not to marry her. Margaret had almost none of the thirty points yet it was revealed to me with great power (I haven’t written the full story) that I must marry her.
Margaret’s revelation went so far to say that I would be cursed if I did not marry her and it appeared she could be right. After all, it would seem that one would be risking a great curse indeed if the will of God is indisputably revealed and then one goes against it. Was that not what made Lucifer himself fall from heaven?
On the other hand, if I married her it looked like I was in for a tempestuous life with her that would extend into the eternities. Just one of the things that concerned me was her whopper of a temper. Was God going to miraculously change her nature on my behalf and make her easier for me to get along with? Very doubtful.
I had given my word to God and I have always kept my word so this would be no exception, but there was one thing I wanted to know. Why was it so important I marry this woman when there were many others with whom I was more compatible?
Not only that, but I was sure there were others better suited for Margaret. When I arrived in England she had a boyfriend that admired her and I am sure would have made her happier than I was about to. Yet she was prepared to dump him in an instant because she knew that our marriage was the will of God.
I explained to her my philosophy, which was this. Any problem or conflict you have before marriage will not get better but will magnify and become 5-10 times worse after marriage. She didn’t agree with this and seemed to think love would conquer all and we could live happily ever after.
Unfortunately, time proved me correct. Any problem you have before marriage is magnified afterwards – because of the closeness of the relationship of living together. It is very logical therefore, to get a mate with whom you are in great harmony, and even in this case there will be difficulties to work out..
“Yes,” I told whoever was listening as I drove back to Peterlee. “I will keep my word and marry her, but I want to know why.” It had been revealed to me that there was some grand purpose in the direction that the Spirit was leading me, but what was it? There was a puzzle, that if put together would reveal the answer and I didn’t have enough pieces to see anything clearly. I had to trust my eternal happiness on a picture that was not yet put together, a picture that was a great blur. My only hope for happiness seemed to be to trust in the ultimate goodness of God.
But what if God was just this spoiled brat that pulled jokes on his subjects? Anything seemed possible at this point.
I arrived back in Peterlee and took Margaret out that evening and near the end of our date I proposed. I don’t think she was entirely surprised as she knew I received some type of revelation that prevented me from leaving England. On the other hand, since I had spent so much time explaining to her how we were not compatible I thought there was a possibility she might give me a piece of her mind. As it was, a piece of her mind came later but she went with the moment and even surprised me with her response.
She said, “Yes, even if I were to be one wife out of a hundred I would marry you.”
To non Mormons this wording may seem odd, but to good Mormons it is indeed a possibility that polygamy may one day be introduced again in the church. After all, it was in the church in the beginning and any prophet could bring it back.
We got married twice in England. At that time the English law did not recognize LDS marriages as was the case in the U.S. We therefore first got married civilly by an English authority and then we went to London and got married in the LDS temple there for “time and all eternity.”
For some reason I had hope that when time exact time of out temple marriage came that I would receive a revelation that would clarify the will of God for me. But as we knelt before the alter and looked each other in the eyes as the Elder pronounced the words of the ceremony nothing happened. There was no answer, no spirit, no comforting voice or feeling. There was only emptiness and I thought, “My God, why have you forsaken me?”
I felt forsaken for a number of years after that as I went from having a lot of spiritual manifestations leading up to my marriage to none afterwards. That did not stop me from trying, for every day I asked God why. Why did You tell me I could not have the woman I wanted and instead I was to marry what seemed the most incompatible person on the planet. It just did not make sense, especially as our marriage grew more difficult with each passing day. There was obviously no miracle on the horizon that was going to turn our marriage into a happy relationship.
Finally after years had passed, I think it was about five, but not sure, I did receive an answer to the thousands of times I asked why. I will not relate the experience here but will say that the answer was that we have more than one mortal life. I had been married to Margaret in a past life and had some serious karma in relation to her. This karma could only be worked out by marrying her in this life.
Marrying her sent me on a quest for answers. If I had not married her I may not have come to accept reincarnation, which doctrine opened up a whole new world of knowledge for me.
It is possible that if I had married Rhea that I would have been comfortable enough in the Church that my quest for knowledge would have been limited to things approved by the church.
If that would have been the case, then, on hindsight, I am happy indeed that I married Margaret, for now I know that any step forward I have made upon the path was worth the price I had to pay, however great it was in my mind at the time.
Then too, we had seven great kids together. I have always wished I could have given them a more peaceful and stable life, but fortunately, that did not stop them from turning into beautiful souls.
Copyright 2010 by J J Dewey