Posted Sept 16, 2010
I needed to vent about this, because sometimes I feel all alone…sometimes I feel like no one else in the world knows about JJ’s teachings, or that no one ever believes me when I tell them. I know this is untrue, however I still feel this way at times.
I moved away from my hometown 6 months ago, and I came back in town this past week. I met up with my college buddy, whom “led me to Christ” in Spring of 2006. He is a very strict Christian, although he does not subscribe to a denomination, but mostly to the Bible…I suppose would be the best way to put it.
Over the past few years, I have felt judged by him…especially since I went through a divorce…and now I live with my boyfriend.
Anyways, I went over to his house tonight, which he shares with other like-minded Christians in a very poor and gang-stricken area of town (as they seek to improve the community through ministry)…and we all had a lovely visit.
At the end of the visit, he walked me out to my car and said, as he usually will ask over the years, “So, how is your Spiritual life going?” I said, “Oh, it’s going great, I have grown a lot. Although, my beliefs do not coincide with yours.” Perhaps this was the wrong approach, although you must know my tone/inflection was not at all condescending, nor know-it-allish, but rather nonchalant and perhaps even humble in a way…if that makes sense.
I was very nervous about seeing him, this trip, because I knew this topic would come up…Christian vs. New Ager convo. type thing that JJ has written about before…I think he always feel like he needs to check up on me…or yanno…make me like him or something…
Then, while we were at my car, and I showed him that I had brought over The Immortal Books 1-3 and Eternal Words for him…as I held them out, thumbing through the pages,..every other page dog eared and marked upon with several different writing utensils…I said to him,
“Yeah, I brought these books, I mentioned them to you last year…I thought maybe you would want to look through them.”
“Oh is this the guy that thinks he talks to John and records their conversations.”
“Something like that.”
…while maintaining my stance and grace…as I quasi-confronted the man I once held up on a pedestal as the go-to-guy for all things Jesus.
I attempted to tell him a bit more, as there was a brief pause of silence and I said,
“The books explain and tell a lot about a lot of things, very complex…and really explain what the Bible really says…from the Greek words…”
“I know a lot of people that are really involved with the original Hebrew, and texts, Jewish people…and I am weary of anyone who claims to run the market as far as what the Bible says, ”
I said, “That’s not what I said….”
He cut me off, and said,
“Yes it is, you said this guy interprets the Bible.”,
as he smiled at me as though I were an ignorant heathen, full of folly and witch spells.
There was this thick, huge wall between us, it was unlike anything I have felt before…
I smiled back at him as I was happy—and prepared—to agree to disagree.
I said I expected him not to want to read them, as I hugged him goodnight, said goodbye, and stepped into my car.
I just wanted to vent…and hope that others have encountered similar scenarios. It has been a tough week for me being back in my hometown, and I am ready to go back to my new home. I feel drained, weary, a bit discouraged, and maybe even alone in these feelings of knowing these truths through every fiber of my being…
I care deeply for this person I briefly confronted tonight, and he knows of a lot of my grave past mistakes (“sins”)…and I feel as though my past as a not ‘high enough caliber of Christian’ (my words—not his) for him is resulting in him not believing any truths I could ever bring to him.
I believe he will always see himself as needing to lift me up in some way…and never vice versa.
Thanks for listening…
Thanks for your nice letter Sarah. I think a lot of readers identify with you and have had similar problems, not only with my writings but with any concept outside of mainstream Christian thought, or any other belief system for that matter.
In my own case most of my family are staunch Mormons. Since several family members have left the church or got kicked out because they believe my teachings anything I teach is viewed with great suspicion. I have given a number of my books to various members of the family and when I visit them I never see the books on their bookcase. I suspect the reading matter has been given to the flames.
Among my children I have three boys who are staunch Mormons (thanks to their mom’s strong indoctrination) and I do not believe any of them have read more than a paragraph or two of all my writings in the archives. Even though they are big believers in the scriptures they do not want to talk about them with me.
On the positive side this problem used to exist with my four boys. My oldest boy, Joseph, has left the church and since then has read some of my writings. Then I was overjoyed when he came to the last gathering and had many questions when we talked in private.
He didn’t come around because of anything I said, but things happened in his personal life that made him question the church and that made him more open to listening to me.
For some time now when I get together with family members I do not bring anything up related to my teachings. But if one of them draws first blood I will certainly defend myself and give them something to think about.
Now if I were dealing with a friend like yours I probably would handle it like I do with my family – just talk about the weather and mundane things unless they bring something up.
But if he brings something up defend yourself strongly and give him something to think about. Since my teachings have come up and he doesn’t want to read The Immortal I would give him something shorter and provocative such as Reincarnation and the Bible or The Gods of the Bible. Just the titles alone should get a reaction out of him.
Now another approach that is less likely to cause the hair on his back to raise is to give him some of my writings on The Beast. Almost all Christians are very interested in this subject. Another one would be on Daniel’s interpretation of Nebuchadnezzar’s dream. I’d be happy to print some things up and send them to you if that helps.
Ruth mentioned my Questions for Deceived Christians. This is good to review for your personal use. I had one guy tell me he uses this all the time and is amazed at how closely fundamentalists Christians respond as predicted there.
Copyright 2010 by J J Dewey