I have received several letters in the past from people who are suffering from depression and self loathing and since there may be others out there who can benefit from my comments I thought I would post quotes with comments for all to hear but without mentioning any names.
A reader made this comment:
“I don’t like myself at all, I feel no connection to anyone I know and would find it very easy for me to walk away from anyone and anything if I thought it was necessary…
“It seems that my whole life I’ve been caught in the “Apathy trap” and I can’t seem to figure out exactly how to get out of it. Even when I see where I can improve on myself, I find it very difficult to even try, and in most cases even care. I know I’m more than just flesh and bones, more than what meets the eye, but I find no love within me for me. How am I supposed to love someone else when I can’t even love me? Quite often someone will say, “Well snap out of it”, “You are what you think you are”, “Pray about it, God will help you”, and don’t forget the most advertised pat answer of all time – – “Don’t worry, be happy”. Most of the time when someone tells me one of these, I get almost angry at them and think “They don’t understand, they don’t know what they’re talking about, they are full of it”, etc etc etc.
“I am ONE lonely person who can’t seem to even accept Love when it’s offered to him, nor receive a compliment without cutting it to shreds. I don’t know how to break out of this prison that I’m living in (and I’m sure it’s probably mostly my own creation). Mostly all I ever feel is contempt towards most people for one reason or another. I don’t know, I feel like this e-mail is probably a waste of time too. But yet I’m also crying out from the depths of my soul for relief from this life of HELL I’ve been in as long as I can remember. I’ve never been able to look at a woman without some type of sexual thoughts going through my mind, seeing them mostly (only?) as objects. I have even cut myself off from seeking any types of pleasure (either mind or body) with another person believing that it would only end in disaster anyway, so why try?
“I sometimes feel that there isn’t a person on earth who can reach me and depression is a very old friend of mine. I’ve learned to block out everything so well for so long, I no longer know how to stop doing it. Even though I believe that God loves me no matter what, I can’t seem to Love me or forgive me for past mistakes. I used to be able to get into meditations at one time in my life, but now, I find it hard to even get started. I’m sure you’re probably wondering why I beat myself up so much, and if I’m ever going end this message. So, I guess I’ll end here.”
I responded as follows:
Depression like this is indeed a fierce item to deal with. If any of us would meet this person we would not guess he is depressed for he seems like a likable cheerful person who has as much love as the next guy. The thing is that you never know for sure what people are feeling inside until you look deeply.
Let’s look at what we can do on all levels.
Drugs are often seen as the only hope but long-term use will create more harm than good and can cause much delay in facing the real problem. Nevertheless, if the person is currently on drugs he must be careful about going off of them for a quick withdrawal can also create problems. It is interesting that the shooters at Columbine High were on anti depressant drugs.
The depressed person should always get a blood sugar test and find out if he has consistent low blood sugar. If he does then read several books on diet for low blood sugar and this will often alleviate much depression.
Buy a book on fasting and work yourself up to a week or even ten day fast. If you have not fasted before start with just a day then later try three days and still later a week.
One of the best combinations for fasting is to take a pint of purified water and mix in two fresh squeezed lemons with a dash of cayenne pepper and honey added to taste. Drink as much of this combination during the fast that you desire.
A week to ten days fasting on this will do much to clean out and purify the system. Once the physical body is cleaned out much of the problem with some types of depression will be lifted.
If you find that you have low blood sugar fasting will often be difficult. In this case also take some bee pollen or spirulina during the fast to give you some protein to adjust the blood sugar. If you have not taken bee pollen before you need to first test yourself with a small amount to see if you are allergic to it.
Another thing you can do is to take about twenty minutes of aerobic exercises each day. Exercises like running, swimming etc that really work up a sweat release hormones in your system that bring a greater feeling of cheerfulness and peace of mind.
One of the main solutions on all levels to this problem is the first key. We must realize that we are Decision and make every effort to magnify this power and create what we decide through the power of Attention.
One of the main causes of depression is that we have avoided important decisions in our past. Remember the parable in my book where Dave turned hell into heaven? Who were the really depressed ones in the story? It was the two who did not make a decision who stayed behind and never progressed on the path or took the risk required.
Do not let fear stop you from making a decision and then putting your attention on it. If you find that your attention is focused much of the time on yourself in a negative way you must shift your attention to other avenues. Place it on your work, loved ones, learning, a hobby etc. Every day arrange your life so that you’ll have something to look forward to. This is a little thing, but can be a big help.
It can be as simple as a glass of wine at dinner, a good TV show, a movie or a visit with a friend. These things to look forward to will not happen automatically if you are depressed. You must arrange them and place them in your path and when they are crossed focus all your attention on your enjoyment of the moment.
On the non physical level one of the greatest causes of depression and apathy is guilt. Guilt is a negative force that focuses attention on your imperfection and paralyses your power of decision. It is caused by allowing your attention to be placed on some outside authority who has taken the place of the God within. If God, or the power of God, is seen as existing in some man or influence from without then this entity has power to control you through guilt and thus control you through fear and depression.
You take back your power by turning to the Holy Spirit within and letting this be your only final authority. When this happens the chains that hold you bound come undone and you will enter into the joy of the Lord and in this state depression is impossible.
Going through the workbook of A Course in Miracles can be quite helpful here in releasing guilt. Once you have neutralized the effects of guilt you will have made a great step in releasing yourself from the chains of depression.
Copyright by J J Dewey
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