FLAT EARTH STORY
Jim Bob grew up in the early Fifties in a religion that took the Bible literally. Even so he accepted the standard view of a round earth until he came across a new preacher named Clem. Clem told him that if he really believed the Bible he has to believe in a flat earth. To prove his point Clem showed Jim Bob a number of scriptures that seemed to indicate the earth was the center of the universe, was flat, sat on pillars, had four corners and surrounded by a great dome over which resided great waters. The sun and the moon were really the same size and much smaller than we are told, and just circle above us in the dome. The stars and the planets were just lights in the dome set there by God.
This all seemed hard to believe for Jim Bob, but he knew the Bible was the literal Word of God so he checked out the scriptures and sure enough Clem was right. From that point on Jim Bob had no doubt the earth was flat – after all, that was what the Bible said and God is not a liar.
Then in 1957 the Soviets claimed to have sent a satellite into earth orbit. This concerned Jim Bob so he asked Clem about it. “If the earth is flat how can the satellite be circling around the earth?”
Clem responds, “It’s a trick, my friend. You know those Russians lie about everything.”
“You must be right,” replied Jim Bob.
Then on Jan 31, 1958 the Newspaper headline read that the United States had sent a satellite into orbit. Again Jim Bob approached Clem. “How is this possible, for this is from our own government, the good guys?”
“It’s all a game,” says Clem. “If the Soviets say that are in orbit we have to say the same thing or lose face. Who are you going to believe, the corrupt news media or the Bible?”
“Thanks for setting me straight,” said Jim Bob.
Jim Bob was a little discombobulated in April 1961 when he saw on television that the Russians claimed to have actually sent a man into orbit and then more discomforted still when the United States claimed to have sent John Glenn in orbit also the following year.
“What’s going on here?” asked Jim Bob to Clem.
“Just more of the same, “ he said. You just watch. There is no end to the extent they will go too deceive us into thinking that the Word of God is not valid.”
“I have to admit that the devil and his angels are pretty tricky,” Jim Bob admitted.
Then it wasn’t long after that that the United States and Russia sent probes to Mars, Venus and then later to other planets.
“What’s the explanation for this?” asked Jim Bob.
“Same ole, same ole,” said Clem. “Like I said there is no end they will not go to trick us. These guys are Satan’s angels right here on the earth working to deceive us.”
Then came the real big events. The United States Apollo mission sent Apollos 11, 12, 14, 15, 16, and 17 to the moon and brought the men back again. Jim Bob watched all the events on TV.
Jim Bob approached Clem, “My boy is asking questions about these moon missions and is doubting the word of God about a flat earth. What shall I tell him?”
“Teach him that God is smarter than all of NASA who are agents of the devil himself. Here is a booklet proving the moon mission is fake.”
“Are all six of them fake. Why not fake just one and why did they go to all the trouble to fake six for them?”
“That’s just who they are,” said Clem. “The more deception the better. Remember what I told you. There is nothing they will not do to help the devil in deceiving us.”
Jim Bob took Clem’s words to heart and earnestly taught his son Jim Bob Jr. to believe in a flat earth, NASA deception and a very literal Bible.
Jim Bob Jr. followed in the footsteps of his father and continued fighting the good fight. He lived to see the internet and Facebook develop and defended the truth of the flat earth as he saw it as well as attacking all who made the supposed false claims of space flight. After he died Jim Bob III and Jim Bob IV continued the effort.
To their dismay they had more difficult conspiracies to confound. The Chinese eventually went to the moon and built a settlement there and there were thousands of pictures on the internet of a round earth taken from the moon as well and the people who were supposedly on the moon, Jim Bob IV of course knew though they were all fake.
Eventually NASA, private enterprise and several nations went to Mars, the moons Jupiter and explored the upper atmosphere of Venus. Jim Bob Jr. knew they were all fake, but he was having a more difficult time convincing people as more testimonies were made of extra planetary human exploration.
Finally a sad day came for Jim Bob IV. His son Jim Bob V just came home for a visit and was all excited. He said this to his dad.
“Dad, I just received a great bonus from my work. I have two tickets for a cruise rocket that will take us into orbit several times and then when we reach escape velocity we’ll be off to the moon. We’ll land at the spaceport there and relax a day in the low gravity and then return. You’ve got to come with me.”
Jim Bob IV couldn’t believe how Satan had gotten hold of his kid. “Son, how could you participate in the works of the devil? How could you be so deceived.”
“Well, there’s one way to prove it,” he said. “Come with me aboard the spaceship and see for yourself.”
“If you board that spaceship, my son, your brain will be radiated with frequencies from NASA that will make you see and believe whatever it is they want. “I’m not going to have my brain altered and I’m ashamed of you for even thinking about going along with Satan and his kingdom of followers..”
“Sorry Dad, I don’t buy your flat earth belief any more. There is just too much evidence to the contrary. I have many friends who ave taken space cruises and their brains are just fine.
Jim Bob IV’s head was about to explode, “You are no longer a son of mine! You now belong to the devil. Get out and don’t come back until you get your mind right.”
Jim Bob V sadly left, but on the bright side he had a great cruise and realized it was only a matter of time before the flat earth’s had to give in to reality.