Gathering 2004, Part 8
Romantic and Spiritual Love
Susan: It’s been suggested that I give you a little history on the Keysters and why we got together and how we started. I believe it was Rick back in 1998 who decided to start an internet group and asked JJ if he’d start posting and teaching. They wanted more information than what was available in Books I and II. So, Rick started the group and invited people from others groups that he knew. He got that started and rolling. It was originally on the SpiritWeb site. When that was shut down we moved over to yahoo groups. So that’s how the group got started. When I first got on the group in 1999, I was the 108th person to join. I checked the other day and there were 362 people.
JJ: Welcome back. We’ve been talking a some on soul mates and what a soul mate is. The main point we covered is that anyone can be a soul mate and that you can fall in love with anyone. There are two basic types of love. One is spiritual love, the other is romantic love. What’s the difference between the two?
Audience: Sex
JJ: That enters into the equation but you can have sex without having either romantic or spiritual love, just for the thrill of it. Let’s talk about some of the differences between the two types of love. Spiritual love embraces several different levels. Say you are in love with a person romantically and a friend asks you, “May I borrow your woman for a few days so I can kick around with her and do things with her?” You think, “No, not in a million years! Do you think I’m crazy? Of course, you can’t have my woman.”
On the other hand, if you have a secretary who you really like and you think she’s wonderful and your friend asks, “Can I borrow your secretary for a day so she can do typing and filing for me?” “Sure, no problem.” Why is there a problem with one and not the other?
Even the most hard-nosed liberal person who believes they’re free and loose, would have reservations about having his girlfriend or wife borrowed by somebody to have sex with him and to bring the guy pleasure. Even the most irreligious person has a problem with this. Why is there a big problem? If he’s my best friend why not let him have my woman and play around with her for a few days then bring her back just as good as she was before, maybe even more experienced. Why not? What’s the reasoning behind this?
Audience: We have on unit of romantic energy and if we share it there is less left for our partner. If the wife gave some to another person it would take some away from the husband.
JJ: Right. We have one unit of romantic energy. To be fulfilled each person must maintain one unit of the romantic energy. If you have less than one unit you’ll feel off balance.
Spiritual energy is different because it flows through everything. With spiritual energy going through your secretary, you like your secretary and you appreciate her on a higher non-physical, non-emotional level. You can share her and it’s no big deal because you’re not losing any emotional energy. The higher energy is always there. You always have 100% of it. So you never lose anything emotionally when you loan your secretary. But when you loan your girlfriend or wife to your best friend you have something to lose.
We covered this a little in the first gathering. I didn’t realize that when I said we’d cover it in this one so we’ll add a little additional light and information so we’re not repeating ourselves. It has been five years ago since we talked about this. Each person has one unit of romantic energy. Here’s the way it works. If you’re single with your one unit and don’t have any relationships with the opposing energy. If you’re a male, that would normally be female energy. If you have no relationship going on you keep that one unit within yourself. It’s all there so you feel okay. You may feel like you’d like a relationship in your life but not for lack of energy. You have one unit floating around within you.
Then you meet someone and you think, “Oh man, I really like this lady.” You give her half of your energy. If she gives half of her energy back to you, you both still have one unit of energy. Say you meet someone you like and giver her 70% of your energy. She likes you and thinks you’re okay but not that great so she gives you only 30% of her energy. Is something off balance? You’re giving 70% of your energy and getting 30% back so you’ve got a 40% deficiency. You’re feeling off balance. This turns you into Fatal Attraction. You follow her around wanting more. “Let’s go out more. Let’s do more things together.” She’s thinking, “Back off, you’re coming on too strong for me.” She goes down to 15% of her energy being given to you. She’s okay. She’s getting the 70% that you’re throwing at her but since she’s only sending 15% to you she can only take in 15%. So, the rest is going out into the universe. She’s still at a 100% within herself so she feels balanced, but just upset over the obsession. You’re throwing out 70, getting back 15 so you’re now missing 55% and feeling really unstable. This could turn you into a Fatal Attraction who follows her around too much, gives her too many flowers, too many candies and too many dates. Pretty soon she either gets closer or she gets turned off.
Let’s see what happens when a person has an affair. Two people are happy together. They’re sharing energy. The guy has a good looking secretary who is real nice to him and dresses nice. He’s quite attracted to her and is leaking out about 20% of his energy to her. The wife has been giving 100% to him and is now getting only 80% in return so she’s losing about 20%. She feels off balance about 20%. So, she says, “Is something going on with that cute secretary?” She feels suspicious but doesn’t know exactly why. She might feel bad about asking.
He says, “Of course nothing is going on.” Maybe he’s telling the literal truth except maybe the secretary is pulling the energy out of him. He’s being extra nice, opening doors and buying her gifts. It leads to the wife feeling suspicious. She feels the difference in energy. She feels out of balance and he’s telling her it’s all in her head. The more she puts pressure on him and brings this up the more he gets turned off. Pretty soon he’s giving 30% to the secretary and starts asking her out to lunch. So he’s taking her to lunch and they start getting closer.
She shares some intimate details and they get closer still. Pretty soon he has an affair with her. Now he’s giving the secretary 80% and the wife 20% so the wife is about going crazy. He’s denying it all. He’s telling her nothing is going on and he’s not having an affair. He blames her for creating the problem and tells her it’s all in her head. But she knows something is driving her crazy because she’s losing all this energy. She’s getting 20% even though she’s giving him 100% and she’s feeling really warped and out of balance.
Romantic energy is different than spiritual energy. If it’s shared it has to be reciprocated. If it’s not reciprocated so both couples are near the 100% level there will be little emotional fulfillment. They will be out of balance.
Most relationships are out of balance. With a lot of out of balance relationships the people don’t admit they’re out of balance. You hear a lot of them say, “We never argue. We never have an argument. We are always calm.” People like that are often suppressing. They might be out of balance, but they’re pretending their life is okay. Usually, the couples who have a good relationship do have an occasional argument and release some emotion but in the process the sharing is consummated. It’s consummated by complete honesty.
Another problem with romantic energy is that people think, “If I share the romantic energy and nobody knows about it, nobody gets hurt.” They don’t realize that the spouse who is depending on him to get energy in return will feel a loss. So, it does affect him or her. They don’t understand it. They can’t explain it. The relationship gets out of balance. Communication begins to break down but no one knows why. The person who gets blamed for it is usually the most innocent one.
So, the romantic energy is different from spiritual energy. In spiritual energy we can have a harem of a dozen secretaries or a dozen taxi drivers or whatever and we can share them with our friends and feel good about it. We’re happy to share things that are on a higher than emotional level. Sharing there is good. You can’t share too much. You can’t lose anything. When you share on the higher level there is never a loss in energy. But when you share on the emotional level there is a loss of energy.
More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality. Robert A. Baker
Posted June 22, 2005
Copyright by J J Dewey
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