Hell on Earth, Part 8

This entry is part 25 of 50 in the series 2011A

From the “Salt Lake Daily Review”:

THE UTAH MONSTER

“Behold, David and Solomon truly had many wives and concubines, which thing was abominable before me, saith the Lord. For behold I, the Lord, have seen the sorrow and heard the mourning of the daughters of my people, because of the wickedness and abominations of their husbands; and I will not suffer that the cries of the fair daughters of this people shall come up to me against the men of my people. For they shall not lead captive the daughters of my people because of their tenderness, save I shall visit them with a sore curse even unto destruction’ for they shall not commit whoredoms lie unto them of old, saith the Lord of Hosts. Behold, ye have done greater iniquities than the Lamanites, our brethren. Ye have broken the hearts of your tender wives, and lost the confidence of your children, because of your bad examples before them; and the sobbings of their hearts ascend up to God against you. And because of the strictness of the word of God, which cometh down against you, many hearts died, pierced with deep wounds.- Book of Mormon, page 118.”

“Polygamy is truly a relic of barbarism.’ Examined from any and every standpoint, it is repulsive to all pure-minded Men and women. On every hand the evils it has entailed are manifest. If those who have introduced it into our midst and sought to enforce its practice by pronouncing anathemas and the pangs of hell against those who did not obey it, are responsible for the wrecked happiness and blighted prospects of thousands who have experienced its mischief, then it were better they had not been born. There is no ground upon which it can be justified for an instant. The only point ever made to its credit, is that it is better than whoredom or desertion of monogamic wives.

There is no emotional, spiritual, or intellectual culture in it. It vitiates the attributes of maritial affection; it severes the bonds that should make husband and wive dearer to each other than all other objects; it leads to a voluptuousness on the part of the wealthy that is destructive to the production of great men; it is practised for the momentary gratification of the sensual appetites; it leads to the debasement of womanhood, and deprives her of that natural companionship which Nature has designed for her, making her the mere instrument of administering to the physical pleasure of one not her own, finally leaving her in melancholy solitude, her mind clouded with an aimless and vague prospect in life, with nothing to stimulate or excite her ambition but to supplant her more favoured sisters and gain the supremacy of the household-seeking her happiness at the distraction of others. Its spirit is the disunion and division of families; it is a constant menace to pure enjoyment.

Whatever is enjoyed, is done surreptitiously. We know the women of Utah are the most dispirited in the world. The fervid anticipations of youth are dissipated; life is not what the heart teaches. The object of life-happiness has miscarried: and nowhere in Christendom is the life of women such a deteriorated blank. We have yet to meet the first woman who does not regret that its practice and trials are necessary to salvation hereafter.

They bleed inwardly. Drop by drop the heart yields the happiness that God would give them, which the beasts of men have defrauded them of possessing. The young men and women of Utah are far behind other countries as regards refinement, civility, polite accomplishments and natural endowments. The majority of parents in polygamy have little conception and less care what trouble and mortification they are subjecting their own flesh and blood to. The man who, regardless of right, truth, decency and respect due to the welfare of others, persists in this practice, deserves the hottest place that the infernal one has prepared for the wicked.”

Polygamy creates “He and She Devils,” plenty of them. A few cases will show that I am not the only one who can truly say, “It is a perfect Hell upon Earth.” It being so much cheaper to board and lodge all the wives under one roof, where one kitchen and parlor serves for the lot. It is considered the best way to manage the affair. But off times when wives are so terribly belligerent, separate houses are built, if the hubby can afford it. Even this separation does not always prevent “war.” I know a man “ blessed “ with more than one wife, who built for his termagant wife a wooden hut in the foot hills, three miles off, and by removing her to this lonely spot, he expected to obtain peace. But alas!

“ The best laid schemes of mice and men gang aft aglee,

And leave us nought but grief and pain for promised joy.”

This virago would often rush down from her “ Mountain Home,” reinvigorated in mind and body, and make a vigorous onslaught upon the” Peaceful Home.” She would come down through blinding snow storms, when least expected, just to have “a real good fight.” It is impossible to have peace in Polygamy, no matter what they try.

I saw two wives of a merchant meet at the door of their husband’s place of business. As the Salt Lake Tribune reporter saw the same, I give the account from that paper. It says:-

“The elder of the two had made a wifely call at the Store, and on coming out met her younger rival, who was bent on the same errand. Her anger was aroused, and she went for that Nasty minx’ in hot haste. Wife, No. 2, found herself divested of her head gear, and her back hair floating in the breeze before she knew there was anything, the matter. She had come for connubial courtesies, and fell into dread Bellona’s arms. It was a good place to get away from, and she made good time with her heels, leaving her scattered garments on the field as a trophy to the victor.”

A next-door neighbour of mine, also a merchant, took a second wife for the purpose of securing eternal glory, and, if possible, a son and heir to his worldly possessions. His first wife had “ blessed “ him with, several daughters but no son. His fond hope was realized, for very soon the second wife gave birth to the heir. So soon as this new mother could mix with the family, she, in presence of the first wife, tauntingly addressed her babe thus, “You are papa’s darling; you are papa’s son and heir! He’s papa’s beautiful son! When she could take it out of doors, she would meet her husband at the gate on his return, place the babe in his arms, fondly embrace him saying, “Here’s your darling son and heir, your pet baby! “ while the first wife who had also come to the gate, stood looking on with feelings better imagined by the ladies than I can describe. This state of affairs grew worse, until finally it so preyed upon the mind of the first wife-a quiet, loving woman-she became a raving maniac. I could give the names in these cases but it would avail nothing, hence I omit them.

Just to show it is as bad since I left in 1880, I give a case from the Salt Lake Tribune, of May 12, 1881. Robbins is a merchant. A dollar is equal, all things considered, to one shilling in England.

“ EDS. TRIBUNE: It seems that this people have made lies their refuge, and under falsehood have hid themselves. Another disgraceful affair happened here the other day, between the second and third wives of C. B. Robbins. A short time ago his first wife left him, and the second was about as sick of Polygamy as the first, consequently Mr. Robbins and his third wife, together with the priesthood, agreed that the second should be allowed 15 dollars per month for the maintenance of herself and family. It appears that when the second heard from her husband what her allowance was to be, she flew into a terrible passion, called her lord everything but a saviour, left the store, picked up a rock and went to the house of No. 3, rapped at the door, and as her antagonist opened it knocked her down, and with the spring of a tigress leaped upon her and tore the hair from off her head and the flesh from her face in a brutal manner. The hired girl ran for the husband, who came immediately, and with difficulty parted them.

“Such are the fruits of Polygamy; it has covered the Territory with blood and baptized it with tears; it has cast a shadow in the heart, in the sunght, of every good and tender man and woman. I say let us rid the earth of this monster, and write upon every lintel in Utah, “Liberty and Law.” LOGAN, May 10th, 1881.       AMERICAN CITIZEN.

An old lady who was a close observer of the workings of this plural wife-ism once remarked to me that the women in Polygamy were all either devils or melancholy fools.

During my difficulties at home, a fellow “ Melchizedek Priest” called to see how I got along. In private conversation I told him that I seemed to possess two Mary Magdalenes, each of whom appeared to have 7 devils in her. He replied, “That’s nothing, my women’s chuck full of devils, I’ll bet my last dollar that one of em, my wife Hanner, has 70 times 7 devils in her night and day. You’re in luck my hearty, my best woman is never short of 7 times 7 devils, and I consider her my angel. I wish I could find a woman or two that would only harbour 7 devils, I’d marry ’em this very minnit.” He added “Cheer up, don’t let your pecker go down.”

I answered that I could not cheer up, I could see no silver lining to my cloud. Says he “there’s something wrong with you, take a little of this and it’ll cheer yer up,” taking from his pocket a bottle of whiskey.

I said “no thank you, that would raise the devil worse than ever.” “That’s it” says he “Raise the devil, then devil wo’nt fight against a devil; when they see you’re full of the devil they’ll give in, that’s how I fix ’em. I can’t manage ’em till I get full of whiskey, and full of the devil myself: then I raise the devil you bet, and I’d like to see the devils that would stand agin me when I’m full, you hear me?”

I remarked “simalia sinalibus curantur”

Says he “what’s that?”

I said “Like things are cured by like.”

He replied “ Ah! that’s it.” and took a good swig out of the bottle, was “vexed I wouldn’t jine (join) him, and proceeded to tell how matters were “ ta hum (at home). There’s the devil to pay” he said, and he was “jist on it and gitting ready to fight it out with the she devils ta hum.” Were I to tell what he said no one could possibly believe it of any man, much less one holding “The Melchizedek Priesthood.”

In addition to the task of subduing so many devils in his wives, he declared that his mother-in-laws possessed double the amount of devils. Reader, arithmetise the following: this man had 14 wives altogether (that is, wives, spiritual wives and proxy wives). One possessed 70 times ‘7 devils, the “ Best “ 7 times 7, and his mother-in-laws’ double. He, when “full of Whiskey” professed to have devils enough in him to whip all the devils in his wives, question:–How many devils were there in that family? Please give the answer, my time is too precious, and this is beyond simple arithmetic which I arm best posted in.

“ Apostle “ Kimble in one of his sermons said:-” Some women who think they know everything, go home and abuse their husbands and raise the devil in a man’s family.”-Journal of Discourses, vol. 6 p. 127.

“The devil is not dead yet; he is on hand to do his work, to perform his mission, which is to stir up the Saints to their duty.” Brigham Young’s Sermon-Journal of Discourses, vol. 2. p. 348.,

“As this work progresses, so will the works of Satan increase.”-”Apostle” Kimble, Journal of Discourses’ vol. 2, p. 150.

Now for another picture. A beautiful Kentucky girl eloped with and married a Mormon Elder, who soon became a bishop. As time rolled on, this once beautiful girl became the mother of ten children: when the time of her usefulness in this direction was over, her husband took a young wife to his bosom. This so worked upon the feelings of the hitherto amiable wife, as to transform her into a perfect vixen. She had sternly refused to consent to this plural marriage, and had sworn vengeance upon the incoming bride.

The Bishop prepared for his concubine by adding a room to his dwelling. We will call it the “ Bridechamber.” This was situated on the ground floor, the window of which is easily reached from the garden. The wife also prepared to receive the bride with more than usual attention. For some days prior to the wedding, the contents of domestic utensils were saved for the momentous occasion. It was in the very hot weather, when the Bishop, who had hitherto been “blameless, the husband of one wife,” married his second wife. He brought her from the “Endowment House” on this summer eve after dark when “all was quiet and his old wife and her children sweetly slumbering’ as he thought. He very quietly retired with his bride intent to pass the first night of his second honeymoon.

The first wife was not asleep as he supposed, but closely watching just outside the bridechamber window; and, as she anticipated, the heat of the room being so intense, the window had been opened to admit air. Underneath this window stood a row of buckets. The bridal couch stood close to the window, and when husband and bride were snugly ensconced, the wife gave them a different annointing to that which they received in the endowment house. The Bishop hastily dressed, assisted the bride to attire and took her to a lodging house and soon provided a separate house for her.

For three years the wife was furious, made many rash attempts to murder her rival, and never permitted her husband to enter her house. The heart of the husband still clung a little to the wife of his youth, or she would have been “put out of the way and sent back to her mother earth.” The Bishop often tried to become reconciled, and proposed to spend every alternate week with her, but she scorned the idea of being placed on a level with his concubine, and refused all overtures, unless he would discard the other woman. At length the Bishop fell sick, sent for his wife, and told her he was anxious to return to his family.

She replied “You know the terms, you never return here or speak to this woman again.”

The Bishop humbly ejaculated “Hand me down my pants!” That ended the conflict: the pants were taken from the peg, and after three years of Polygamy, he gave it up and returned to his old home; and family. If this Kentucky grit were infused into all Mormon women, the question of polygamy would soon be solved.

I once saw another Bishop lively chased down the street followed by a broom handle and a woman. As this was seen by reporters and appeared in Newspapers, I give it from the Salt Lake Tribune, which quotes from the Philadelphia Times:-

“The women of Mormondom evidently have it in their power to settle the Polygamy question. If they take it in hand as Mrs. Jones, of Salt Lake City, has done their work will supersede the necessity of further legislative or judicial action. Mrs Jones is the wife of Old Jones, and the only wife he has, or is likely to have. Old Jones was contemplating additional matrimony, and like a dutiful Mormon, consulted the Bishop about it. The Bishop advised him to take two more wives, and Mrs. Jones happened to overhear the advice.

“Forthwith she determined to set her face against the project in a manner which could not be misunderstood. Procuring a large broom with a stout handle, she proceeded to discountenance old Jones. She chased him for a considerable distance along the street,’ inflicting, as opportunity offered, such whacks as were calculated to dissuade him from his cherished hopes of increasing the size of his family. After Jones had taken refuge under a friendly shed, she proceeded with what was left of the broom to discourage the Bishop from the giving of any more such advice. A crowd of Mormon boys followed the portly ecclesiastic down the street as he fled from the wrath and the broom of the demonstrative Mrs. Jones.

“As to marriages already made, most of them will have to stand. As to new marriages, the system adopted by sister Jones will blot out all probability of them. No man wants his wedding ceremonies thus turned into a mixture of circus and funeral. No woman will want to become a bride when the bride of former years threatens her and their joint spouse with broom exercise. Let Mrs. Jones be encouraged, and the doom of Polygamy is sealed.”

The following articles are from the “Salt Lake Tribune”:-

Raliegh is a Bishop and Town Councilor

DIVORCE SUITS.

“A Tribune reporter had a talk with Mrs. Elizabeth Raleigh. The latter is an intelligent, fine looking lady, whose hair is but just tinged with gray, the combined result of years of life and Mormon wedded bliss.

“Mrs. Raleigh’s story is like that of a great many of the women who “ have married into the Church. She first went into Mr. Raleigh’s family as nurse to his former wife, who was upon a bed of sickness from which she never rose. She declined to accept the proposals of marriage when first made, but in obedience to the mandate of Heber C. Kimball, then one of President Young’s counselors, and to whom disobedience was worse than contempt of court, she at length acceded. Her honeymoon was not a particularly bright one, but she took upon herself the care of her husband’s children by his first wife, and was a mother to them during many years that followed.

“She was allowed to work all she pleased, and sometimes more, from the beginning, and as stated in the complaint aided in every way to build up the fortune of her lord and master. As a specimen of what was expected of her, one instance may be related alone. Shortly after the marriage one of the cows died, down in a pasture lot in the edge of town, it was supposed from having in some way become poisoned. She was sent with a Danish boy to skin the dead body, which they did, and Mrs. Raleigh carried the hide to the house over her shoulders, her husband, meantime, standing by with a linen duster on and walking cane in his hand, superintending the work.

“In the course of time new wives were added to the household, the number eventually reaching eight, and at one period six of them occupying one house, and working and eating together in one small room, which served as kitchen, dining-room, sitting-room and parlor. Each had a separate sleeping apartment. They were all expected to earn a living, and if they wanted anything special in the way of clothing, etc., they bought it themselves from money made at washing or otherwise. The head of the household bought his supplies by the quantity, and kept them under lock and key, dealing them out with a sparing hand. He was suspicious always that his wives were trying to rob him, and on one occasion, when he thought he missed a dress pattern off of a bolt of common heavy goods he searched the apartments of his wives, examining the bedticks, looking in small drawers that would not have contained the bulk of the dress, and when urged sarcastically by the plaintiff even peering into a pair of stockings which were hung up in the room. The plaintiff says the finest dress he ever gave her after their marriage was one of common material which would probably cost about a bit a yard now, (2.5 cents or 6.25d.

“As an evidence of the love felt for him by his children it is said that when he had been absent in England on a mission and was returning, they saw him, and one of the boys exclaimed ‘there comes that old scoundrel,’ whereupon they all hastened to conceal themselves. He was called by some less tender and respectful names at other times and all in all his life as a husband and father is not a happy one judging by the respect inspired in his family.”

“ROUGH ON POLYGAMOUS WIVES AND CHILDREN.”

“And the defendant further answering alleges, That at the town of Kirtland, in the State of Ohio, heretofore to wit, on the 10th day of January, 1834 this defendant being then and there an unmarried man, was duly and lawfully married to Mary Ann Angel, by a minister of the gospel who was then and there by the law of said State authorized to solemnize marriage, and that the said marriage was then and there fully consummated, and the said Mary Ann Angel, who is still living, then and there became, and ever since has been and still is, the lawful wife of this defendant.

Extract from Brigham Young’s amended answer in he Ann Eliza case.

“At last we have something definite. The Prophet of the Lord has spoken; and says in unmistakable language, that Mormon plural women’ are not legal wives-that Mary Ann Angel is his true and lawful wife,’ and marriage with her a bar to any subsequent marriage. This Brigham Young has said and sworn to in his amended answer to Ann Eliza. Brigham admits himself to be a coward, and though his person is not in danger, his money is, and he coolly throws his religion and plural wives overboard to save his cash.”

“A short time since a Saint was cut off from the Church, his offence consisting in setting aside a plural without procuring a divorce. Why should I pay to dollars for a divorce? ‘ the thrifty Saint enquired of this writer. I wasn’t legally married to the woman, and I could give her just as good a divorce as the President could.’ His ‘divorce’ consisted in turning the unhappy creature out o’ doors. But what is this but concubinage?

“When the peerless Ann Eliza sued Brigham Young for divorce, the disingenuous man of God set up for an answer that he was not married to her, his connubial relations with his first and legal wife being still undissolved. When Apostle Cannon was charged with polygamy before a committee of the House of Representatives, he solemnly declared that he was not offending against morality or living in violation of any law of God or man.

“These facts show that there is neither sacredness nor binding force in the celestial wifery of these lustful Saints, when the admission of such a relation stands in the way of profit or preferment.”

“The wealthy head of the Mormon Church in Utah, has about as effective a way of ridding himself of obnoxious wives, as that of Henry the Eighth, of England, albeit it is not quite so summary. Starvation is Brigham’s favorite mode of terminating his polygamous entanglements; the slow, agonizing, and certain method of murdering the poor slaves of whose faded charms he so readily tires.

Thus there is one creature, the oldest, and only lawful wife of this monster, Mary Ann Angell, now in the seventy-fourth year of her age, whose vitality has withstood the tyranny of the harem for half a century, and she still lives, a reproach to the system which has degraded her condition to that of serf and drudge. This victim of oppression has recently been assigned a cold and cheerless shelter in the old school house behind the seraglio; one end of that dilapidated structure having been partitioned off like a stable, or a stall for a cow!

Miserably furnished, and in no way a comfortable habitation for a person of any age, that dreary tenement is the abode of Brigham Young’s lawful wife, the mother of three of his sons and two daughters. But this is the Kingdom of God, in which women are taught to bear their crosses of shame for the glory that is to come hereafter. The Prophet says so, whenever he leads a fresh victim to the closet of concupiscence. We make bold to suggest a visit to the venerable occupant of that dismal prison, from our kind hearted Executive. He will find theme a scene to excite him to the deepest sympathy.”

The Inter-Ocean quotes the words of one of Brigham Young’s daughters: My father, prophet, though you call him, broke many a woman’s heart. If it required of me to break as many hearts and ruin as many women as my father did, I should go to perdition before I would go back into the Church. A religion which breaks women’s hearts and ruins them is of the devil. That’s what Mormonism does. Don’t talk to me of my father,’ and concludes that ‘Honor thy father’ does not seem to be in the creed of Mormonism, and does not wonder that it is not. Nobody does, The usages of the sect takes from young girls all purity of thought, and when that is accomplished what room is there for self-respect or respect for others? The inhabitants of Mohammedan countries manage affairs with much more care than they are managed in Utah. There is no such promiscuous living as abounds in the two-roomed harems of Utah, but even in those countries there is so little faith in the virtue of women that they are perpetually watched, and never permitted to appear unveiled in public. The customs of the Mormon Church tend directly to break down all a young girl’s ideas of the sanctity of chastity.” [All these-quotations are from The Salt Lake Tribune, remember.]

“One day the Prophet said to the widow Baird, ‘Now there is Brother Pierce; he wants a wife, and you want SOMEBODY TO SAVE AND EXALT YOU in the eternal worlds. Sister Susannah; I will speak to Brother Robert about it.’ The result was, in the course of a few days, Elder Pierce, aged about seventy-five years, led the blushing widow to the altar, in the House of the Lord, where they were sealed up to life everlasting.

Moved by the Spirit of his faith to chastise his better half occasionally, and not being content to make her labor in the harvest field like a man, he would heap insult upon injury by calling her a ‘ – old hell hound.’ The elder would caress his wife with a hoe handle, as he did his cows, and on one occasion he knocked her teeth out and bloodied her nose. This conduct was continued until in July, 1875, when the elder punished her with a chair.

Forbearance ceased to be a virtue, and MRS. PIERCE CALLED UPON HER PROPHET being full of the devil, to complain. After relating her story interspersed with tears, Brigham feelingly said: ‘Well, Sister Pierce, what did you come into the kingdom for? It is your duty to bear with your husband. You are his, and he has a right to do as he pleases with you.’ But this was the kind of sympathy she was not, looking for, and she told the Prophet so, whereupon he asked: How much property did you take to Brother Pierce? ‘

She replied, “I took some furniture; three chairs and”

“You had three chairs, did you?” said Brigham cutting her off short; well, Sister Susannah, take your three chairs across the street and sit down in them until you are satisfied, and if you don’t feel like obeying, do as you please, and you will Go TO HELL IN A SUN-BONNET.’

“She went home, which came the nearest to following out the last part of Brigham’s instructions of any course she could pursue. Elder Pierce continued his abuse for another year, until finally, he drove her out of the house and forbade her ever to return.”

“ EDS. TRIBUNE. Another scandalous polygamic affair has happened in this city. The man has had five wives. His first wife died leaving several children. He then married again. This one left him. He took a third, who bore him -more children. He then left her and she had to support her family as best she could. The poor woman worked and washed and almost went out of her mind, living in a log hut without care or comfort. Her husband then married a mother who had two young daughters. In a short time he began to tease the wife for the oldest child and she and her daughter had no peace until they both consented. When she attained the age of fourteen he took her through the sink hole, (Endowment House).

It was not long before he began to cast loving winks at the other daughter and commenced to woo her. She had no more comfort day or night until she left her step-father and her brother-in-law, and married a young man. Her sister has lived a life of misery and wretchedness in a log cabin with her mother and the two families, their beds being in the same room and standing foot to foot. One night, after they had retired to bed, the old man talked to the mother, thinking the young wife asleep. Her faults were the subject of the conversation, the old man even calling her a prostitute. She heard the whole of the conversation. In, the morning she wrote a note.

“JOHN ANDREWS: I am going to leave you and shall never again be your wife, nor any’ other man’s concubine. It will be no use for you to follow after me, for I shall never return to be abused by you. My cup of sorrow is full.” –

“This she placed under her pillow and left the following morning. Her mother, the other wife, started in pursuit, but returned without finding the object of her search. The Mormons are trying to create the impression at home and abroad that the grease vats of Zion are no longer used and that  polygamous marriages are no longer in fashion in the Kingdom of God on Forth. The smoothest liars are not to be trusted. The concubine factory is kept as busy as ever, and not a Thursday passes but numbers of these marriages are consummated.

“Last Thursday Bishop Davidson of the Third Ward in Logan, took a concubine in the person of Miss McNeil. The girl is nineteen years old, and has become the sealed mistress of the Mormon lecher in spite of the protests of the first and only wife. In the last three months in the Fifth Ward of the same place, four of these illegal alliances have taken place, and it is safe to say fifty have occurred in Logan within the last six months, and still our greatest Government in the world’ does nothing to prevent them.

LOGAN, April 11th, 1881.       AMERICAN CITIZEN.”

“There is a Danish Saint at Spanish Fork, named John Hanson, who recently married two pretty Scandinavian girls who came over with the last cargo of immigrants that arrived in Utah, about two months since. This last addition to the Danish harem makes ten concubines that this old brute has, and, it is said, he works the whole gang in the fields while he goes around, like an overseer, well dressed, and well cared for. This old reprobate Hanson makes his ten wives work like beasts in the fields while he roams at large in high clover.

“Ten wives! And yet there are people who think the late cut in the Police Gazette, styled Mormonism Uncovered,’ was an exaggeration; it was on’y too true.”

[The Police Gazette reproduced W. Jarman’s Illustrated Lectures for the information and amusement of its numerous readers.]

DWELLING TOGETHER IN UNITY.

“ Among the ‘infamous libels’ charged against this godless sheet, is branding the issue of these illicit unions with illegitimacy. A short time since a knock down occurred in a prominent Mormon store in town arising from two polygamous sons branding each other with bastardy.

“Those who know Mormonism best have predicted that the greatest enemies to polygamy will be its own offspring.

“William Jennings has boasted that as Mormons, his has been a happy household. His children, he says, live happily together, and all is lovely where once polygamy reigned. We do not doubt Brother Jennings’ word; but if the rumour that reaches us be true, then his statement is incorrect. In the store on Monday evening, we are told that two of Brother Jennings’ sons illustrated that unanimous spirit that invariably follows polygamy. Tom Jennings, it seems, who is son of the first wife, called his half brother, Frank, a bastard. This was resented by a slap in the face, and the happy children went at it just like Gentile boys. The clerks separated them, and we presume happiness reigns in that home once more.”

The Tribune being a secular paper perhaps my Christian friends will prefer that I quote from a few sermons; therefore I introduce “ Apostle” Kimball’s sermon published in the Mormon Church Organ, The Deseret News, vol. 6. On page 291, it says:-

“ I have no wife or child that has any right to rebel against me. If they violate my laws and rebel against me, they will get into trouble just as quickly as though they transgressed the counsels and teachings of Brother Brigham. Does it give a woman a right to sin against me because she is my wife? No; but it is her duty to do my will as I do the duty of my Father and my God. It is the duty of a woman to be obedient to her husband, and unless she is, I would not give a damn for all her queenly right and authority, nor for her either, if she will quarrel and lie about the work of God and the principles of plurality.

“A disregard of plain and correct teachings is the reason why so many are dead and damned and twice plucked up by the roots, and I would as soon baptize the devil as some of you.”

In many families where there are as yet no concubines, the wife is anxious to remove from this valley of Sodom, as well on her own account as to save her young daughters from becoming the inmates of a priestly harem; and -as she has it in her power to obtain a divorce at any time, it may seem strange that she should remain the inmate of such a domestic hell. But a divorce would be of no practical benefit to her. She would be compelled to separate from her children; and, as she is powerless to perform an overland journey of over a thousand miles, to bring herself within the protection of a civilized government, she must, of course, remain, and seek a precarious livelihood, -under the discouraging pressure of Church vengeance.

Hell on Earth, Part 7

This entry is part 24 of 50 in the series 2011A

On such interesting occasions wedding dresses, bonnets, ribbons, and such. things are of small Moment. Such trifles get scattered in fragments to the winds, while the dark glossy hair of the one and the golden locks of the other are handled most unmercifully, that is the hands of the dark-haired victim hitches to meddle with the golden locks and vice versa. And the one with the longest finger nails prides herself in doing the best scratching. Second round won by the bride, time 8 min. 32 seconds. With a brace of them, and both claiming the protection of their dear husband, what could I do. This. “duck of a husband” was nonplussed, and now that No. 1 had witnessed defeat. She was surprised that her husband and protector failed to help her-and give the bride a good thrashing, and demands that he shall protect her from the assaults of that “insolent hussy.”

The bride insists that No. I shall not interfere with her marriage rights demands the protection of her husband and is particular to state how the “deceitful old cat” lured her into marrying. her husband. Finally we reached Ho… I was about to say “home,” the Poet says:-

“ Home, home, sweet, sweet home, Be it ever so humble there is no place like home.”

But the Polygamist can never sing that. If the author of those beautiful: lines had married two wives and taken them to his ‘home, he could have never composed the like. He might have given us something about a “Hell upon Earth,” and depicted the fearful scenes of a Polygamic harem about as. follows:-

It’s here on this earth we do re-a-lize Hell,
Where women, as devils, do constantly dwell,
Because we here marry so many dear wives,
Who rage, vex, and pester us out of our lives.
Hell, Hell, chief chief Hell,
Be it ever so wealthy, It is nothing but Hell.

My Home, in Utah, as well as every other Polygamic home, must hereafter be called “Hell upon Earth.” We arrived in our “Hell at home” about 6 p.m., just in time to sit down to our wedding dinner, but my appetite was gone. In the Endowment House I had been crammed with so much of that “meat the world knows not of,” and from what I have described I may be credited when I say all I now needed was peace and quiet and a good hot bath. I managed to get the latter but never the former two. I washed off the” Holy oil,” during which time it seemed as if all hell was let loose, and ten thousand thunders, earthquakes, and dynamiters were busy tearing things.

In the early morn when I left that “Home, Sweet Home,” there hung on the walls such mottoes as “God bless our peaceful home.” “There is no place like home,” &c., while peace and plenty filled it. Now it seemed that all the devils in existence had left the infernal regions, and gathered from the various parts of the earth where they had been going to and fro, and wandering up and down, and had now gathered together and made my house their rendezvous. I wept like a child, and why I was kept from committing suicide I am only beginning to learn-

“ There is a Divinity that shapes our ends, rough hew them as we will.”

A faint gleam of light seems to show that I had to go through all this Hell upon Earth business so that I might be enabled to expose the whole matter in such a way as to convince the world of its abominable evils and thus effectually bring about its speedy overthrow. If not, I ask, “Why was lured into it and made to suffer so? And why when so often tempted to commit suicide was I frustrated?

I had been “ counseled “ to furnish a separate room for each wife, and devote one week to each alternately, the parlor’ kitchen, and dining room to be used in common by the whole family. The wife that was to be a widow, as it were for the week, had to superintend the ‘domestic arrangements, or in military parlance be “orderly for the week.” In the conjugal bliss she would be exempt from domestic duty and the week widow become the “orderly,” and so on one week. But in my Domicile things went contrary-they do in all these Polygamic families. I would that mine were an exceptional case, but having traveled over Utah Territory, and boarded and lodged in the various Polygamic establishments there, I am compelled to speak the truth and say, I found no happy Polygamic families through the length and breadth, of the land. How could there be? The whole thing is so diametrically opposed to human nature. We find in the case of Polygamy, as in every other case where Nature is perverted or abused, Dame Nature comes back on us with severe penalties.

Within the first 24 hours of my “blessed Honeymoon,” the furniture of my “Home Sweet Home,” my “Hell upon Earth” appeared as if shaken and torn by a violent explosion and to cut a long story short, I never experienced any of the bliss of this “week about” business. No. 1 at all times insisted upon bossing the household arrangements and would never allow the man-her dear husband-who had violated his British marriage oath and taken another wife to his bosom, to be on the same close relation as before, she being a wife only in name and nothing more, and there was therefore an end to all chances of any “pledges of affection.” In vain did I endeavour to persuade her to “live her religion” and try to “bear the cross,” for every time I appealed to her I was met with torrents of abuse, while my bride was always mentioned in words not fit to appear here.

I went to business mornings with a heavy heart and returned evenings with a far heavier one. A man after the toils of the day and worry of business seeks the quiet retreat of his peaceful home-his castle-removed as it were from the battles of life, to recuperate his strength and fortify himself for the morrow. Here the gentle sympathies of his help meet should soothe his oft distracted brow. Here he should find that comfort and consolation not to be found in the outside world which builds him up and fortifies him, enabling him the better to do battle with the stern realities of life. But now, it was no use for me to seek consolation, peace, quiet or rest in my house-my Hell-before reaching it of an evening wife No. 1 or 2 would be sure to meet me and prepare me somewhat for the big storm raging in my hell.

If it was No. 1 who had so affectionately come to-meet her tired lord, and lovingly cheer his few remaining steps homeward, she would wring her fist in his face and say “ Now William I’m your lawful wife, married you in England “-I would try to break the sentence by saying -” Yes my dear, who says you ain’t.” Then I was treated with an outline what had passed between “my wives” during the day, and if I tried to hurry along so as to get into hell and witness the worst of it as quickly as possible she would pull me back-say she had come to meet me on purpose to let me know how things were, and like Sarah of old insisted that I must “Cast out the bondwoman. ‘ How vainly did I try to convince her that it was our “Holy Religion,”-that she should have thought of this before, and looked before she leaped, and consented to the union.

If it was wife No. 2 who met me, she would storm thus, “Now William, I married you according to our religion, by and with the willing consent your other wife. Had she refused her consent I would not have married you, yet the nasty old cat keeps calling me * * * (this must be left blank) I think I have given enough to show how matters stood. It was useless for me to ask No. 2 to put herself in the place of No. 1 for a moment and consider had she been my wife for years and the mother of my children, and then have to submit to another – how very trying it must be, &c. The fact is Polygamy makes women perfect devils, and there is only one way to manage them, and that is the mode adopted by Nigger drivers in Slavery-The Horse Whip. That being out of my line I was not a successful Polygamist. There are other ways of managing these hells which I also refused to adopt.

It soon became known that “Brother Jarman was in for it,’ and served -him right, for a man in his position to be so niggardly and try to get along with TWO WIVES when he ought to have at least a dozen.” One night on going home and neither wife having met me as usual my bosom thrilled with joy. Thinks I, now hostilities have ceased-the war is over-I shall yet have a Home on Earth. When I entered my house I soon found my mistake out.

There were two men “ Teachers “ waiting to see me: They had heard the tremendous “ rows “ going on in that unfortunate domicile that day and had -called to teach my “ women “ their “duty,” and had remained to “ teach “ me in regard to my “ duty “ which was about thus:-As I had failed to learn the “Horsewhip Drill” I had better look out a half dozen good stout girls who would hang together-hold the balance of power in my household and bring these two viragos into subjection.

Both men were strangers to me, so I said to the one who was “ mouthpiece “ “Excuse me Sir, but are you a Polygamist?”

“Oh yes,” he replied.

“How many wives have you? “ I asked,

“Four “ said he.

“May I ask, can you keep peace in your family?”

He answered “I wish I could but it seems impossible.”

I said to the other Teacher “and pray Sir, how many wives have you? “

“Only three” was the modest reply.

“Be kind enough dear Sir to tell me how matters stand in your home; can you keep your wives in subjection?”

He replied “I am sorry to say it is utterly impossible.”

I arose, opened the door, and said, “Gentlemen go home and learn how to rule your own households, and then come and teach me. At present you are not the teachers I require, I have no use for you. According to your own confessions, you are the wrong men in the wrong place, please withdraw, and when you can come and intelligently advise me what to do, I shall be very glad to see you, Good Night!” This was my first visible sign of apostasy: I had refused to listen to those “In Authority.”

Next morning early a brother “High Priest” called, said he wanted to chat with me, and as it was particular perhaps I would walk with him around the foot hills. So we took a morning walk. We had not proceeded far when he introduced his particular business thus: “Brother Jarman, you made a mistake.” I readily confessed I had. He continued, “I mean in marrying ONLY Two: a man of your caliber should have married at least a dozen. Besides your two are strong-minded English women, and they’ll always be fighting and scratching unless you do as I am about to tell you.”

Says I, “For God’s sake-for my children’s sake-for my wives’ sake-do tell me, if you can, how to have peace in my home.”

Says he, “Will you do as I tell you?”

I said, “If I possibly can, I shall be only too glad to do whatever lays in my power to secure what I so ardently desire-peace in the family.”

Says he, “There are various ways of regulating these Polygamy affairs.” [I knew he was a man of experience in that line, so I resolved to let him go a-head, and let me into the light of “the various ways” without interruption]. “In the first place you have two very excellent women, and you ought to think yourself in luck for having secured them.” (“Ill” luck thinks I) “But you are a poor judge of human nature in women, and made this mistake. You married two only and each one is fit to be a boss; the one will never yield to- the other. Had you picked out for a second some meek, quiet disposed girl, the first wife could have just whipped her into line, and made her do as she leased: or had your first been of such a temperament that the second could have brow beaten her into subjection, all would have been well. Instead of that you have two natural born bosses. Now my advice to you is this. There is a large importation of Danish girls to arrive in a day or two. You go down and pick out twelve, they are generally very quiet and harmless, and submit to anything. Marry the dozen and take home the lot. Give six to one wife and six to the other, as servants like, to help them in their domestic affairs. You’ll find they’ll just whip those Danish girls around, and have their work cut out in bossing them, and you’ll have a jolly time.”

Here I had to interpose a question. “But my dear brother, I don’t know the Danish language, neither do my wives.?

“D… the difference,” said the Priest. “We have Danish Priests that will tell those you “look out” to go with you and do as you tell them. You get a Danish Dictionary and you’ll get along all right. Should any difficulty occur, just call for the Danish Priest, and he’ll soon straighten things out, you bet.

I thought surely here is a nice scheme, but it looked to me like “hopping out of the frying pan into the fire,” but I did not say so. I was in the “pursuit of knowledge under difficulties.” He further said, “There is still another way out of your trouble. If you don’t like to marry so many, you just look out one real good vixen like woman, some regular virago, marry her and bring her on the scene, and if she don’t regulate matters, nothing will. I tell you I tried that game, and it worked like a charm. This virago of mine has a daughter a regular ‘chip off the old block.’ She’s only just turned fifteen, but lord, she’s a snorter.

“She’s just a hitching and a dying to have a regular go in at it, and this brings me to my particular business with you this morning. This daughter (sweet fifteen in Utah), I’m speaking of has taken a fancy to you, and she deeply sympathizes with you. Only last night when she heard of how your wives were a “cutting up,” she says to me, ‘Dad I feel for that dear man, he don’t deserve such treatment as he gets. Why only last week when I called, there was roast, bake, and boil and plenty of everything. Yet that thousand dollars worth of furniture he bought when he married ’em was just fit to light fires without much chopping.’ Well Brother Jarman, I need not tell you all she said, but to the point, she is willing to help you out, and I promised her to see you and talk the matter over, and if you say the word come right along and take her through the Endowment House, marry her, take her home, and I’ll guarantee she’ll settle matters in short order. You’re welcome to her my brother, and she wishes to become Mrs. Jarman. No. 3 right off, so say the word and the ‘jig’s up.”

Now what could I do. Here was an extraordinary offer of marriage, how could I refuse, or be at all uncivil, especially to a brother Priest. So I said, “Then you are willing to give me your daughter, and that under such circumstances?”

“Oh yes,” he replied, “and she is perfectly willing to marry you at once, and I do actually believe she was born to help you out of your difficulty-she’s cut out for the very purpose.”

I thanked him very kindly, said that “the proposition having come upon me so suddenly I must beg time to reflect upon it, and if I concluded to marry another, I certainly would give his daughter the first chance.”

She never got that chance, I preferred to remain in the frying-pan and frizzle. That was hot enough for me, I also vowed if I could get forgiveness for marrying two wives at once, I would never do it again. Those who have read “The Infernal Conference, or Dialogues of Devils,” by the Rev. John Macgowan, V. D. M., will see vast depths in every line I have written, which those who, have not so read fail to see. Space prevents my introducing -” Dialogues of Devils.” Milner & Co., London.

Time dragged heavily along, life was a weary burden. One terrible night when things were worse than ever I took my Colt’s Navy Revolver and went up behind the grave yard, determined to put an end to this “Hell upon Earth” and try the other. I felt it could not be worse, and probably it might prove somewhat better than the Hell I was now in. I pulled the trigger three times with the muzzle in my right ear but without effect, it did not discharge. ‘When placing it the fourth time, a feeling I cannot describe came over me, and the thought I had not kissed my dear little children “good bye,” made me determined to go home kiss my innocent darlings for the last time-and make sure work of it. When I got home the sight of my own flesh and blood laying there sweetly sleeping, unconscious of their Father’s or Mother’s deep sorrow and trouble, deterred me from committing the rash act, though driven to desperation. Be it here understood that though I and my wife should have had better sense, I blame, not her, but the vile system, and all who uphold it. It was a trouble to her as well as to myself, although she has got bravely over it, as you will see, I have not, nor do I ever expect to.

On another occasion when my trials seemed too heavy for poor human nature to bear, I kissed my dear little ones “good bye,” and this time determined not to be frustrated, took a razor, again went to the grave yard wall, a lonely place, fully resolved to launch myself into Eternity, I was so tired of Time, it dragged so slow, every day seemed years and that of wretchedness. Arriving on the spot I knelt and offered a short prayer that the Father of Mercies would have mercy upon me; and remember that my frame which was but dust, was too heavily burdened to proceed further on the journey of life that here I ended it, and trusted to Divine mercy for a better life hereafter.

I felt perfectly resigned. Intending to cut my throat while upon my bended knees, I searched in my pocket for the razor, but it was not there. It had worked its way through a small hole in the pocket and was lost. I felt awfully disappointed. I went home feeling very sad, but here one of my little ones having been taken ill, was crying for “Papa.” The tears which now blot this manuscript, thank God, will not appear in print. When I think that my children have all been torn from me by the accursed system of Polygamy, and are now 7000 miles away and are being dragged up in that awful Sodom, I pray for the curse of the Almighty to rest upon America until she rids herself of that accursed Institution. And may England’s Government wither and her Glory depart, and may England become a hiss and a by word among the nations so long as she allows Mormon Missionaries to pollute her soil and drag away so many victims to undergo the same as myself and thousands of Britishers have endured and are still suffering.

I suppose I am not the only father that possessed a PET child among his pets. This sick child was my pet and oh how earnestly I wished that sickness to prove fatal, that I might bury it and then speedily join it beyond. However it recovered and lives in Salt Lake City to day, a Mormon-a far greater trouble to me than if I had buried it.

As more of my hell and what I suffered appears in future Chapters, I will now show how things are in other families.

Compact Fluorescent Lightbulbs

This entry is part 23 of 50 in the series 2011A

Since I am a big believer in the Law of Economy I have been a user of CFL lights
since they first came out. The small amount of mercury used doesn’t concern me
at all as I also rarely use seat belts.

The first few years I used them about one out of five seemed to have some flaw
and didn’t last long. The four out of five worked as advertised though.

In the past 4 or 5 years though the quality seems to have gone up and I rarely
have a bad one and they all seem to be working as advertised.

However, for indoor use it is important that you check the temperature factor.
This will usually be in fairly small print on the package or sometimes on the
light itself. To find it look for the letter “K” followed by a number. Do not
buy anything with a K less than 2700. For indoor use do not use anything less
than K5000. K6500 is the best and closely simulates sunlight.

Critics claim that CFL light is inferior to incandescent light, but most are
referring to K2700 light or less. The K6500 light is better than incandescent
light.

The K5000- K6500 costs more but the extra price is worth it and figuring the
energy savings and extra life they are a lot cheaper than incandescent lights.

We use the cheaper 2700K lights for outdoor lights and indoor places where we do
no do spend much time. In our office where I spend the most time I use the best
quality CFL lights I can buy.

Hell on Earth, Part 6

This entry is part 22 of 50 in the series 2011A

I now come to a very important part of this “ Endowment “ business which I name “Weddings in Hell.” I will state right here, that most, if not all the marriages solemnized in this place are Polygamic. A man may marry a first or lawful wife without going there, but no man can marry a second or plural wife unless he and his victim wade through all the filth of the “ Endowment House” and he must be so married within its “ Sacred “ walls. When the various “Temples” now being erected are completed, Polygamic marriages are to be solemnized therein also. Up to the time I left “ Zion “ only the “Temple at .St. George” was finished. There such marriages have taken place; and I am told by those who ought to know, that a far worse, and much more filthy ceremony is gone through within the “ Temple “ than within the “Endowment House.”

I know this much, “The Prophet” has often that “There are degrees of glory and blessing which can only be obtained in Temple consecrated to God for the purpose!” Knowing, therefore, what I do, I can readily believe there will be nice goings on in these temples w finished.

Before describing my wedding in this Hell, I will state that my English wife was not only willing, but desired that I should marry another. As a marriage according to the English Law was of no avail in the Mormondom, and as we had to be married over again, she concluded that I had marry two at once, and thus secure my eternal salvation, and the power raise her up at the resurrection, This is only secured by Polygamy; the wife becomes anxious that her husband should take a second wife in order to secure the salvation of the man she loves, and her own eternal glory. Many of the first wives are lured into sanctioning the plural marriage.

(Misc comments on plural marriage edited out)

Now that everything is lovely, and my wife consenting to the plural marriage, I take her on my right arm and the bride-elect on the left, and walk them both into the “Sealing Room.” Here I present the slip of paper containing my name, the name of my wife that was, or is to be, and that of the intended bride, to the Priest who sits at the Altar. He bids me and my spouses to be seated, which we do, and await further developments. He carefully examined the slip, or certificate, the Priest calls upon me the bride groom, my wife, and bride to arise, which we do, fronting the Priest.

I and my wife are now married for time and eternity, a very simple affair; its simple being married over again. Having been married to my legal wife she then stands on my left-hand side, while the bride-elect stands on her left. The Priest then put this question to my wife, “Are you willing to give this woman to your husband to be his lawful and wedded wife for time and for all eternity? If you are you will manifest it by placing her right hand within the right of your husband.’,’

This she willingly did, and this bridegroom and bride stood “hand-in-hand.” My wife was now told to take my left as if in the attitude of walking: The Priest then asked me as follows: “Do you, Brother Jarman, take sister (calling the bride-elect by her name by the right hand, to receive her unto yourself, to be your lawful wedded wife, and you to be her lawful and wedded husband, for time and for all eternity, with a covenant and promise, on your part, that you will fulfill the laws, rites, and ordinances, pertaining to this holy matrimony, in the and everlasting covenant, doing this in the presence of God and angels of own free will and choice? “ I, of course, answered, “Yes.”-The Priest then put this question to the bride:

“Do you, sister” (calling. her by name), “take brother Jarman by right hand, and give yourself to him, to be his lawful and wedded wife for time and for all eternity, with a covenant and promise on your part that you fulfill all the laws, rites, and ordinances, pertaining to this holy matrimony, the new and everlasting covenant, doing this in the presence of God angels?

The bride meekly answered “Yes.”

The Priest then said: “In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and by the authority of the Holy Priesthood, I pronounce you legally and lawfully husband and wife for and for all eternity: and I seal upon you the blessings of the holy resurrection with power to come forth in the morning of the first resurrection, clothed with glory, immortality, and eternal lives; and I seal upon you the blessings thrones, and dominions, and principalities, and powers, and exaltations, together with the blessings of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; and say unto you Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth, that you may have joy rejoicing in your posterity in the day of the Lord Jesus. All these blessing; together with all other blessings pertaining to the new and everlasting covenant, I seal upon your heads, through your faithfulness unto the end, by authority of the Holy Priesthood, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.”

The Priest then wrote on the slip of paper “O. K.,” which signified the thing had been done “up to dick,” that I was “done brown,” and was now a thoroughly married man. This bachelor had hitherto been playing at marriage. Now it was a reality, and a fearful one at that, as you will presently see. The Priest opened the door and told me to hand the slip of paper to the Prophet, and watched me do it. The Prophet looked at it, then gave it to the Scribe, who entered it on the general record. I saw him write my name, the maiden names of my two dear wives, and the place and date of this singular plural marriage in the big register. I for asked for a certificate, but was immediately told that such “nonsensical documents” were not required; that I had “the two women to show for it,” and, says the Prophet, “If that ain’t enough go out, look up a few more, fetch ’em here, and we’ll splice you on to them mighty quick. You are all O.K., so take your women home and make the best of ’em.”

A Mormon wife has no certificate to show marriage, and if occasion should require and to shield their Polygamous brethren, the Mormon officials, will positively swear that they did not perform the marriage, while the big book will never be found, for that is safely hid.

The Great High Priest, Elias Smith, who is also Probate Judge, then confirmed me, and made me an “Elder and a Priest for ever after the order of Melchizedek.” Moreover my “ Patriarchal “ documents show that I also held wonderful position, viz.: “A virgin without guile.” As these papers appear full presently, I will merely say here that the “Endowment ceremonies” shook my faith in Mormonism, making a shipwreck of faith quite possible. I began to doubt the sincerity of its leaders, which is the first step to apostasy. It seemed to me they were more like vile sinners than “Saints,” and the words Sir Jahn Birkenhead:-

“If these be saints, ’tis vain indeed, To think there’s good or evil.”

The world will soon be of this creed, No God, no king, no devil.” came to my mind, remained uppermost, and I could not forget them.

At the wedding, please observe, I and my bride were asked “Are you doing this of your own free will and choice?” my wife was only asked “Are you willing.” He should have asked “Are you subdued? Has the priesthood and this holy religion blunted every womanly feeling in your breast, and caused you to immolate yourself on the altar of Polygamy?” The marriage ceremony being now concluded we are permitted to don our worldly clothing and leave the place, this being the conclusion of the “ Endowment “ ceremonies. We are cautioned to be sure and keep on the “Holy Garment” which covers the “Sacred Oil,” and forms a complete coat of mail always proof against all the fiery darts of the Devil.

All secular clothing must go on over this. Having put on my clothes as ordered, and being again fit to appear in decent society, I soon found my empty lunch basket and my way out. I left that building a wiser’ sadder, and muchly married man: I could not help being wiser, but why should I be sad on this my TRUE AND REAL wedding day? Had not God commanded in the Mormon Revelation to take TWO wives, and had sworn to damn me if I failed to thus many. Had I not obeyed and was now saved man, and ought I not to be happy? But somehow I could not feel nippy. There seemed to be a fearful dread of something terrible just about to happen, and it did happen as you will see, for my home was ever after “A perfect Hell upon Earth.

After giving such an expose as I have of this infernal institution I must state, that though in England, and far removed from Mormon Assassins, Mormon vengeance would reach me if it could. I know how mad they will be, and further I know they have thousands of men who gladly do the bidding of their Prophet, Priests, and Bishops. Hence the people of England must not be surprised to hear that the writer of this book is vilified, for Mormons will swear to anything, as I show presently; and would stop at nothing short of my death. They always defame the character of those who leave them, for as they cannot meet the serious charges which I or any other recusant Mormon can bring against them, if they can but get the public to believe me unworthy of credence and thus prevent my obtaining an audience, they would gain their point.

The Author of “The Rocky Mountain Saints, on page 212, says:-” From the beginning of Mormonism, the ruling authorities have accepted defamation of character as the best weapon with which to assail the discontented or apostates.” They also assure their British converts that all Apostates are full of the Devil, and very wicked, and strictly caution them never to listen to one, or credit a word they say. I find it hard work to get at those who have been converted to Mormonism in England; but am happy to state that I failed but in one instance to effect a recapture, and that one seemed to me more fit for a lunatic asylum than anything else. I have saved hundreds from going into bondage, crime and misery in Utah, and when I have saved the whole of Great Britain, and driven every Mormon scamp from our shores, I shall consider my work done, and not till then.

MY HOME A PERFECT HELL.
In treating of my own domestic affairs I shall do so like a man, for man would attempt to give the public all the peculiarities thereof, which the said public have no business to enquire into, while I shall give enough trust that “ Enough’s as good as a feast.”

I was now a married man in every sense of the word. My “ Wives “ having dressed themselves fit for decent society also, each made a grab for left arm. Wife No. I (as I shall now call my “old stand-by” wife) managed to grab it successfully, while the bride proper awfully chagrined snatched at the arm hugged it tight and looked daggers at No. 1. Whatever their respected thoughts may have been, and though awful fiery glances were exchanged between them, we left the house in solemn silence. I felt that a storm of more than ordinary portentions was brewing-I was downcast, though it was my wedding day and I had a DEAR wife on each arm, and was, of course, ripe for Heaven, yet I could not help feeling I was much nearer Hell. Both wives and myself as we jog along, look down, as if to find consolation on the earth. All I could read upon the ground, and it seemed printed in big letters, was HELL UPON EARTH. No. 1 hangs heavily on the left arm; The Bride drags sulkily though tightly upon my right arm. Behold this rose between two thorns, and if there is such a thing as sympathy in human nature, sympathize with this suffering trio. Men put yourselves in my place (metaphorically of course). Ladies put yourselves on my left or right arm which ever you please (figuratively) and find out our respective feelings on this very remarkable occasion. Must I, can I, attempt to describe them? I will try.

This disconsolate hubby feels about “done up” and is ready to “pass in his checks,” get up the “flume,” “kick the bucket,” or do anything to avoid what I feel sure is coming, and that without delay. I say to myself “I am in a nice fix, I’ve done a nice thing for myself and put my foot in it.” Why was I born, why did I not commit suicide, or rob a bank, forge a cheque, or do something that would have transported me for life, then I should not have known this dreadful suspense. I glance, but for a moment, at wife No. 1, she that had so often shared my sorrow, but it’s no use looking there for sympathy now; I see in her, a worse than Mary Magdalene, who knew nothing of polygamy, and had but seven devils in her, whereas Mormon polygamy makes the women complete Devils. It’s useless looking to her—-the pride of the morning, but now the bride of the hour-for sympathy for she also seems very much “put out” and anything but satisfied with the situation.

But how shall I describe the feelings of my better halves. Were I a devil, one of those accustomed to getting inside the women, I might be able to tell exactly how they felt, but I can only judge from external appearances, and what I afterwards found out. The most interesting person and the most interested, on wedding occasions should be the Bride. Therefore we will gauge her feelings. Though this is the first time she has been married; she is not satisfied. She feels that being the latest spouse and the only real bride of the occasion, she should have the place nearest her husband’s heart. The left arm on hers, and she reasons thus-This is my first wedding day; that old wife of is has been married to him for years. It’s no novelty to her; this is my honeymoon, not hers. She might yield a little to me on this occasion. I have as much right to my husband as she has, why should she seek to claim the best place in his affection? I have just married him, and I’ll just let her know it-he wished me to many him, or I am sure I should not. Now that I have I’ll not go back on him, I’ll stick to him through thick and thin, and show her I have as much right to him as she has. If she wanted to keep him all to herself why did she wish me to share him with her; if she don’t look out I’ll make it so sweet for him that he will slight her considerably, and perhaps let her flicker solitary and alone. She must not trifle with my feelings just now I’ll make her rue it.

Wife No. 1 ruminates thus:-I never thought it would make such a difference. I and my husband were one, I could speak confidingly and pour out my soul to him in deep sympathy when I had him all to myself, but now I find the truth of the old adage “Two is company, but three is none.” This interloper deprives me of my conjugal felicity, I’ll teach her to mind her own business, and not seek to mar the happiness of man and wife that have been so long wedded to each other. She evidently thinks she ought to have my husband’s left arm; she will have to learn that his left arm is mine. She may consider that she, being the youthful bride has a perfect right to it, but I shall leach her that I am THE WIFE OF HIS YOUTH, and therefore have the greatest right to him. I shall not relinquish any of my rights for that stuck up thing.

Thus the mischief keeps fermenting, and not a word is spoken by either. What a wedding day? Did the All-wise God give that Revelation commanding such marriages? No Never! No, a thousand times, No! It’s worse than Blasphemy to say it emanated from the All-wise Creator.

In the Endowment House the “new names” given to my wives were those of “ Sarah” and “Rebecca,” but amid the excitement I got them mixed, and when we came out I could not “tell t’other from which;” for the life of me I could not tell which was Rebecca or which was Sarah, both new names to them and me. What to do I knew not, for we must never reveal the one wife’s name to the other, or speak of it at all; it is to remain a perfect secret between the husband and the particular wife.

Yet I was anxious to know “which was which.” Shortly we arrived at a small stream, over which there is no plank or bridge of any kind. Foot passengers jump over it. Now we newly-married trio, triune, triplets, tripartite party, or whatever we may be termed-do not get scared, we were merely three souls with but a thousand thoughts-three hearts that failed to beat as one. Now it is not to be expected that we three in one and one in three will try to jump the stream conjointly. Oh dear no, It can’t be did.” We would have another ‘washing if we tried to do so. The wives now release their hold of the husband’s arms. Wife No. 1, in a vexatious moment, clears the stream with a bound. Now, thinks I, this is just my time to find out if that is Sarah or Rebecca that has just flopped over the stream. So I said to my bride, who was yet on this side of Jordan (the stream), “Let me see, your new name is Rebecca.” She affectionately replied, “No, my dear, my new name is Sarah.” ‘ “Rebecca,” who stood just on the brink of the other side, heard the word “Rebecca “ and very wickedly surmised, or at least the devils in her prompted her so, that I was confidentially telling the bride her new name. That was enough. “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,” and to make a bad matter worse I jumped the stream and lovingly assisted the bride over. I and the bride would have got along O. K., if the other “dear charmer” had been a thousand miles away, but she was right there to pay particular attention to my left arm, &c., &c.

In helping my bride over the stream I had taken her right hand, and guided by a strong instinct, or else the Devil was prompting the batch of us to mischief, I did not release her hand until I had placed her right arm in my left. I not thinking of what I was doing, but the bride designedly, as she afterwards told me, for says she “I was determined to have my rights.” Well, she had them “right and left,” so did I, and between the two I wished myself in Heaven out of it.
My readers will not expect me to waste pen, ink, and paper and take up the valuable space in my book by describing the fracas, suffice to say the first round wag won by Wife No. I, time 5 minutes 57 seconds. My arm by this time was ready for a sling. The bride, overcome by the superior fighting qualities of No. 1, resolved to make good use of her weapon, the tongue, and give her “a good tongue lashing.” In this she was successful, or at least equal to the emergency and managed to get in “six to-the half-dozen.” As it often happens in a wrangle of words, something the bride said, amused the ire of wife No. 1, and without calling “ time! “ round. second was commenced with increased vigor.

Hell on Earth, Part 5

This entry is part 21 of 50 in the series 2011A

(Note: This continues Mr Jarman’s temple experience and observations. Some of them are quite different than the temple ceremonies today. This may be the first temple humor I have ever come across as Mormons treat the subject with extreme seriousness.  Even though I haven’t been a member since 1978 I did go through the temple several times when I was younger and did promise to not reveal the signs and tokens so I have edited the pertinent information out.  It can be readily found in other places though.)

I must now describe further how we are “made meet to be partakers of an inheritance with the saints in light; “ or rather, how we are made “citizens of the Kingdom of God.” A month prior to this I had been made a citizen of the United States, as I thought. Now I had to change my Nationality again, and I watched the “new departure” with considerable interest.

The Priests gave us “The first grip of the Aaronic, or lesser Priesthood,” which consists in placing the thumb on the knuckle of the index finger, and. clasping the hands around. We were then made to swear “to never speak against the Lord’s Anointed Prophet (the Mormon Prophet.), but to obey him and the laws of the Mormon Church, and all they enjoin, in preference to the laws of any kingdom or nationality, and more especially those of the United States.” The penalty for refusing to obey, or revealing this oath and grip is, “that we will have our throats cut from ear to ear, and the tongue torn from the mouth: “ the sign of the penalty is …

There was a small altar on one side, at which there now appeared three rough-looking specimens of humanity. These, we were informed, were-

.. “ Peter, James and John.” Peter had two big keys which were “the keys of Death and Hell.” He had been in the wet and got the keys awfully rusty. They seemed to have been out of use lately for “the used key is always bright. It struck me forcibly that no one could unlock either Death or Hell with keys. So unless they get new keys I feel safe enough, for I know of none but Mormons who wish me dead and in Hell; of course, every good Mormon has that kind wish toward me.

“Peter,” with his rusty keys, stood between “James and John.” At this juncture different men came in one by one, each making an effort to represent their various religious sects’ presented their different dogmas and professed to be very anxious to save us fallen children of Adam. Each of these celebrated preachers coarsely satirized the various Christian sects. The one proclaiming Methodism ridiculed Calvinism, and repudiated the idea of infants a span long being in Hell, and dwelt most -emphatically upon “The final perseverance of the Saints.”

The Calvinist, in turn, abused the Methodist, and assured us that “The Elect once saved was saved for ever; he cannot fall from grace and be lost.” The Baptist was surprised to find there were people presuming to teach and believe “That mankind could get to heaven without rinsing. To think of being saved without immersion or even wetting the feet was preposterous.”

We had to listen to harangues from the Ana-Baptist and the Pedo Baptist, the Quaker and the Shaker; in fact, from most of the well-known sects of Christendom. But the great wind up came when “Peter” preached unto us “The Mormon Gospel.” Peter being an old hand at it, could dish it up in high style-

“He could deep mysteries unriddle, As easily as thread a needle.”-Hudibras.

At one time during his Sermon when he arrived at his highest pitch of eloquence, a country girl that stood by my side gave me a poke in the ribs and whispered “How’s that for high? “ I answered “It’s high you bet.” She smiled and seemed disposed to carry on a flirtation. Peter twig’d it, and fearing a reprimand we “shut up” and did not flirt. Peter reviewed the gibberish of the “Christian Parsons,” as he called the previous preachers, and said “these Gospel sharps are running various Gospel mills on their own hook. Here’s these miserable one wife scoundrels among the Baptists, Methodists, Independents, and the various sects trying to get into heaven all of a flippety flop, humpety hump, dot and carry one; with a solitary Wife jagging ’em down at one arm “-(great laughter).

“It’s no go,” cried Peter. “No man can get into celestial glory that way. I hold the keys, and no man can pass in unless EVENLY BALANCED with a wife on each arm; and he should have a score or two more hanging on to his coat tails, otherwise his glory in heaven will be no great shakes.

This great “Apostle of the Gentiles” assured us that “ All the sects were wrong.” The Catholic Church he described as the Great Mother of Harlots.”

The Church of England having sprung from this “Mother Church,” was .nothing more or less than “a daughter of the Great Whore.” The Methodists, Congregationalist, Baptists, Independents, and every other body of so-called Christians of whatever name were stigmatized as “ Bastards; “ whose existence was shown to be the result of a vast amount of “Religious harlotry.”

Peter admonished us that as we had “drunk of the wine of her fornication” we had committed fornication with her, and now the word of the Lord which he called upon us to obey was:-“Come out of her my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues.”

Another command was loudly vociferated by the “Apostle,” “Come out from among them, and be ye separate saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you and will be a father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.”

“Peter “ spun a long yam, sailor like, of course, and in a manner becoming a fisherman. He could spin it out with great rapidity, and in a style peculiar to fish fags, including the choicest Billingsgate. Mixed up with this amount of his balderdash we gathered that, “All the Christian Churches of our day were fearfully corrupt, and groping in worse than Egyptian darkness.” The World was in darkness, and had been for eighteen centuries until God appeared to Joseph Smith, a few years ago. That the, only light in the world at the present time was in the Mormon Church. “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints” was the only true Church of God upon the Earth; this was established with Prophets, Apostles, &c., as in days or yore, and all would be damned who rejected the Gospel as proclaimed by this latter-day Church.

When Peter finished his wrangle: the Devil who had loitered around and assisted the “Divines” (all except Peter), came bustling up to the Altar, and offered to shake a paw with Peter. This “ Apostle “ tried to be polite, and giving him a hearty grip said to him “Halo, Mr. Devil, why how do you do? It’s a fine day, ain’t it? What are you doing around here: are you seeking whom you may devour?”

“Oh dear no!” replied the devil: “When the sons of God come together, Satan comes also among them you know: and from what I can discover, these friends here (pointing around at us) don’t seem to take to any of these religions: why don’t you quit hankering after Christianity and have a jolly time like I do.”

Here Satan danced, and skipped about as merry as a cricket; and just in the midst of a jolly good “sailor’s horn pipe.” Peter pointed to the devil, caught his eye, and cried with a loud voice “You git! hurry up!” Satan gave a regular “break down “jump, stood looking at Peter a second then bounced out of the room singing “The girl I left behind me.” The last of the refrain he sang as he stood just outside the door was:-

“Let the night be ever so dark, or ever so wet and windy, I must and I will return again to the girl I left behind me.”

The Devil is not only a Poet, but a very fair ballad singer, and would do well for a “penny gaff,” or low pot house of a Saturday night. Many a publican would like to engage him for a Saturday night’s” free and easy.” but I must not digress.

When the Devil “shut up” and went off; Peter said “Resist the Devil and he will flee from you.” He then gave us the second grip of the Aaronic or lesser Priesthood. ‘ … The penalty for revealing this is to be sawn asunder and our members cast into the sea.

The men then took the oath of chastity, and the women likewise. This as may be supposed is very chaste-very indeed! The man swears to be true to his numerous wives, together with his spiritual wives and proxy wives-his wives for time, and his wives for eternity. He swears to “cleave unto theirs, and none else.” Imagine the concomitant, conjugal conjugation that must inevitably follow when a man attempts to “cleave unto” a lot of women. I have seen it tried, and tried a little of it myself: it don’t work worth a cent. Men and brethren, hearken unto me! if you dent believe it, you just try to conjoin a dozen or so of wives to yourself, and I’ll guarantee you will speedily find that the word “ cleave “ means “deft,” and if you come out of the fracas with a sound mind in a sound body, consider yourself in luck.

The woman is made to swear that she will prove faithful to whatever part or parcel of her respective husband may be assigned to her, and to be fully and thoroughly satisfied with a tenth, fiftieth or hundredth part of a man-his attention, affection, &c., &c., &c. Except, that it is hereinafter provided. Should there be no issue from this fractional union, then the lady aforesaid shall select another man, drag him before the Prophet, and both get another oiling; after which they are made man and wife pro tem on the Q.T., and thus shall the sin of barrenness be removed far from Mormondom [See Par. x6. Revelation on Polygamy, Appendix E].

A man-led lady is informed that she is not yet tied to the man she thought she had married in England or elsewhere-” That all marriages performed. outside the Mormon Church are illegal. No man but a Mormon Priest has any authority from God to bind on earth, hence God has not joined them together,” and Mrs. Jones can leave Mr. Jones, Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Robinson, ditto, and they are at liberty then and there to marry Brigham Young or any “faithful brother” they choose; that all the little Joneses, Smiths and Robinsons are altogether illegitimate until adopted by some “true saint” and thus made “children of God and inheritors of the Kingdom.”

If Mrs. Jarman concludes to stick by Brother Jarman she must see to it that there are other Mrs. Jarmans united to her husband at once, for until that is done the said Jarman is not saved, his children are not heirs, and she herself will receive no resurrection. This is very trying to most wives and mothers, but then this is “The Cross” which they are called upon to take up, and “No Cross, No Crown! “ I ask, what Greater Cross can a true woman be called upon to bear, than to share her husband with dozens, aye, scores of other women?

Having passed this “Fiery ordeal” a man rushed in hurriedly, and proclaimed the joyful news, that the Gospel which had lain dormant 1800 years was now restored to the earth. “The Holy Angel had appeared to Joseph. Smith, and given him the keys of the kingdom and restored the blessings of the Ancient Gospel.” This was called “The Latter-day Dispensation.” The Priests pretended to accept this joyfully, and said it was the very thing they had been hunting for, nothing else having had the power to satisfy them.

They then proceeded to give us the first grip of the “Melchizedek or higher Priesthood,” which is said to be the same Christ held …  We were then made to swear to avenge the blood of Joseph Smith and that of his brother Hyrum on the American Nation, and to teach our children and children’s children eternal enmity toward the United. States Government. The penalty for divulging this grip and oath is disembowelment…

The next, being rather strong, and as I say so much that I myself could not believe had I not witnessed it, I give the next part from Beadels Life in Utah. On page 495, it says:-” The initiates are then ranged in order to listen to a lecture-

“Peter. Brethren and Sisters, light is now come into the world, and the-way is open unto men; Satan hath desired to sift you as wheat, and great shall be his condemnation who rejects this light.-(The ceremony is explained up to this point.)-The holy priesthood is once more established upon earth, in the person of Joseph Smith and his successors. They alone have the power to seal. To this priesthood as unto Christ, all respect is due; obedience implicit, and yielded without a murmur. He who gave life has the right to take it. His representatives the same. You are then to obey all orders of the priesthood, temporal and spiritual, in matters of life or death. Submit yourselves to the higher powers, as a tallowed rag in the hands of God’s priesthood. You are now ready to enter the kingdom of God. Look forth upon the void and tell me what you see.” (Curtain is raised.)

“Adam and Eve. A human skeleton.”

“Peter. Rightly have ye spoken. Behold all that remains of one unfaithful to these holy vows. The earth had no habitation for one so vile-The fowls of the air fed upon his accursed flesh, and the fierce elements consumed the joints and the marrow.”

“Michael. Here all hearts are laid open, all desires revealed, and all traitors are made known. In council of the gods it hath been decreed that here the faithless shall die. Some enter here with evil intent; but none with evil intent go beyond this veil or return alive, if here they practice deceit. If one among you knows aught of treachery in his heart, we charge him now t speak, while yet he may and live. Brethren, an ordeal awaits you. Let the pure have no fear; the false-hearted quake. Each shall pass under the Searching Hand, and the Spirit of the Lord decide for his own.’

“The initiates are placed one by one upon the altar, stretched upon the back, and the officiating priest passes an immense knife or keen-edged razor across their throats. It is understood that if any are false at heart, the Spirit will reveal it to their instant death.”

In the “Argument of Judge Hemingrey before the House Sub-committee on Territories, he says:-The horrible scenes enacted in the Endowment house,’ are graphically described in the book called Wife Number 19 Ann Eliza Young, Brigham’s apostate wife. A portion of these ceremonies now present from page 368 of that work:

“We raise our right hand heavenward, and take the oath of implicit obedience and inviolable secrecy. The women promised entire subjection to their husband’s will; the men that they would take no woman as a wife without the expressed permission of the Priesthood. We all promised that we would never question the commands of our authorities in the church, but would grant them instant obedience. We swore also to entertain an everlasting enmity to the United States Government, and never to reveal the mysteries of the ‘Endowment House.’

“The breaking of this latter oath was to be followed by, the most horrible penalties; torture of the most excruciating kind was to be inflicted upon any one who should disregard this oath-his bowels should be torn from him while he was yet alive; his throat should then be cut from ear to ear; his heart and his tongue cut out; and in the world to come he should inherit eternal damnation. There should be, nor could be, no chance of salvation for him.

“These promised penalties are by no means mere forms of words, given merely to add impressiveness to the ceremony.

“The Blood Atonement’ shows that they are carried out, and hundreds of cases could be cited in addition to those already given, to prove that the Endowment House penalties are by no means dead letters in the Mormon Church law.

“The cutting of every Gentile and Apostate throat, and the sending to hell across lots, ‘that have been so openly and emphatically urged from the stand by Brigham Young and others, is only a public expression of the mysteries of the Endowment Oaths.”

Did I possess “Wife No. 19” I should extract profusely there from with ‘pleasure, for as the Authoress was one of the numerous wives of Brigham Young, she certainly had opportunities of, prying into secrets which I never had. I regret that I failed to secure such a valuable treasure as “Wife No. 19.”

We are now marched into another room designated “The Prayer Circle Room.” The sash and robes that had been put on wrong were now righted. Here we were made to take an oath of obedience to the Mormon Priesthood, which means “The Prophet, Apostles, Bishops, Priests, Elders, Teachers,” and all in authority over us. Just like a private soldier has to obey everyone above him, from a Lance-Corporal to the Commander-in-Chief. We were to obey these “ sacred “ rascals “in all things.” No matter whether we were ordered to cut a child’s throat, or stick a pig, “ WE MUST OBEY AND ASK NO QUESTIONS.” All their sermons point to this “Blind Obedience.” (I have hundreds of them, and if there is room will give some further on).

Now the highest, or Grand Grip of the Melchizedek Priesthood was given.  … The penalty for revealing this oath and grip is to have the heart torn out, cut up in small pieces, and given to the fowl of the air.

We men now form a circle round the altar, link our arms straight across, and placing our hands on each others shoulders. The “High Priest” knelt at the altar, took hold of one of the men’s hands with his left, raised his right hand heavenward, and prayed.

He first prayed in an unknown tongue, and afterwards in English about as near as I can remember as follows, “Oh Lord, avenge now the blood of thy martyred prophet, Joseph Smith on these United States; hasten the day when they shall be United no more, grant that they may fight like Kilkenny Cats, and use each other up so that not one may he left to tell the tale; that thy kingdom established here in the mountains may roll forth and fill these States preparatory to filling the whole world: for thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory for ever Amen!”

The Priest told us that the Electric current of prayer passed through that circle, and went straight to Heaven and “moved the arm that moves the world.” Before he-prayed in English he told us the nature of the prayer about to be uttered, and said we must all be united and “will strongly” every word uttered by him, adding if our wills were firmly united with his this unity of will penetrating the whole of us, and him, would pass as an Electric current right up to the throne in heaven. We are cautioned not to be alarmed at the idea of “Electric Prayer” that we live in an advanced age; Science produces wonders with Electricity and why not Electric Prayer?

When anything important is required from above the electric current of prayer is set in motion, and they say this kind of prayer is always answered. This is the kind of prayer offered for President Lincoln, when, after he had abolished Slavery, he sought to extirpate Polygamy. The Endowment House rang with “Oh God curse Lincoln!” and in answer to this prayer we are told God smote Abraham Lincoln and the “ Saints “ rejoiced and gave glory to the God of Heaven for the assassination of that “stinking Abolitionist. They also had a big feast. The people came from all parts of the territory and there was a time of rejoicing such as was never before known there.

(NOTE: LDS church historians maintain that the early Mormons supported Lincoln. The Deseret News Feb. 12, 2009 published this:

“On March 4, 1865, a mile-long parade was held in Salt Lake City to celebrate Lincoln’s re-election. Andersen said that event was significant because it brought all different types of people in the area together, including federal soldiers.

“Five weeks later, an event was held in the unfinished Salt Lake Tabernacle to mourn Lincoln’s death.” [3000 are said to have attended]

On the other hand, there were probably numerous Mormons who didn’t like Lincoln for he signed into law the first of the anti polygamy laws, the Morrill Anti-Bigamy Act of 1862.

Many were also probably resentful of him because his party platform lumped he evils of polygamy in with slavery calling them both “the twin relics of barbarism.”

Lincoln agreed to not act against the Mormons if they would support the North over the South during the Civil War.  Here is an interesting account:

“Having signed the Morrill Act, Abraham Lincoln reportedly compared the Mormon Church to a log he had encountered as a farmer that was ‘too hard to split, too wet to burn and too heavy to move, so we plow around it. That’s what I intend to do with the Mormons. You go back and tell Brigham Young that if he will let me alone, I will let him alone.’

Zion in the courts, Edwin Brown; Mangrum, Richard Collin 2001, University of Illinois Press, p. 139)

Back to the story…

When President Garfield was shot there was. great rejoining among “the Saints.” And during that never-to-be-forgotten period, while Garfield lay between life and death, and while all Christendom prayed earnestly for his recovery, the Mormons put in motion their Electric Battery of Prayer, and prayed that the “puny man” Garfield, who had dared to oppose Polygamy might be cut off from the earth: and now they rejoice and boast that their prayer has been answered, that God does not listen to the false Christians of the world, but only to his true people the Mormons. Missionaries are making use of this as an argument right now, to convince their poor dupes that everything is O. K. in the Mormon kingdom, and this, it will be at once seen, is a powerful argument.

While the “Electric prayer” was going on the women stood outside the-circle of men, with their veils covering their faces, the only time throughout the ceremonies that they did so. The prayer being over, we were all ordered up stairs. This was supposed to mean going up to heaven. On arriving at the top of the stairs we found ourselves in a very peculiar place. Here was a big room partitioned off with a large greasy dishrag or screen. This screen had once been white, but now filthy dirty. It was called “The Vail,” and is said to be in imitation of the veil in Solomon’s Temple. Some Mormons assert that it is the actual one, being preserved from the days of Solomon, and now in the possession of “God’s peculiar people,” the Mormons.

On this veil marks, like those on the “Wedding Garment,” such as the square, co pass, &c., together with various holes for putting the arms, and a hole at top to speak through. It was also rent in twain. This rent was “the way opened up” whereby we could enter through the veil into “The Holy. Holies.” The very holy place was inside of where we stood, and before go through to “ t’other side o’ Jordan,” as the Priest expressed it, we received general outline of instructions, similar to those received down stairs, “down the kitchen,” as the Mormon Bishop remarked. This over, the Priest took me straight up to one of the holes in the veil, where he knocked with a mallet.

voice (Peter’s of course) from the other side, asked “Who’s there? “ Priest answered for me by saying “Adam having been faithful desires enter.” It appears I was now transformed into “Adam.” I was then led where there was two holes in the veil. Here I had to poke both hands arms through and “hug old St. Peter,” who stood on the other side was for the embrace. While hugging this lecherous old humbug there was a strong smell of that Mormon “ Heavenly “ incense commonly called Whiskey. I had to whisper in Peter’s ear my new name. To do this aright I had to put head in at the hole; when I popped my head in the smell of whiskey was enough to knock anybody down. I stood my ground, however, for I was interested in the thing by this time, and was eager to see it through.

Having divulged my New Name to “Saint Peter,” I was now considered ripe for Heavenly Glory, and was permitted to go through the veil into “ Heaven. ‘ I now entered and took a good square look around; I must say I was very much disappointed. The bright notions I had hitherto entertained of Heavenly Glory, first flickered, then vanished; for anything more unlike Heaven I cannot conceive. It was a Hell within a Hell. What it lacked in purity was made up in filth. If I kept a pig and expected to eat the pork, I should not keep the animal in that place.

Here I found the same Dramatis Persona of “ God’s, Holy beings,” &c., that I had seen below, minus “ The, Devil.” Of course, he had been kicked out of this “ Holy “ assembly just before he visited Mrs. Eve, and I noticed it was a different “ Peter “ to what we had down stairs: I asked one of the Priests why that was, he said “we had to put a ‘super’ in Peter’s place because his women where raising hell at home, and he had gone with a good stout rope to cast out devils.”

Not wishing to enjoy this’“ Heavenly Glory” alone, I was informed that if my wife wished to marry me properly now was her chance. “ Eve “ was on the t’other side of Jordan (the veil) instructing her daughters in regard to this I matter. My wife (or “ missus “ I spose up to this time) very prudently concluded to marry the father of her children. The chap who was playing the part of “ Peter, ‘ while the real “ Peter “ was home larruping his wives, said to me, “How many women are you going to hitch on to?”

I replied, “I have two outside the veil, which I brought for that purpose, if they have not changed their minds since they came into this house.”

“Come here and fetch ‘ern in, for here’s where you get spliced for time and for eternity,” says Peter’s super. I said, “ What! are we to be married in Heaven? I thought that in Heaven they neither marry nor are given in marriage! “

“All a pack o nonsense,” replied the “super,” “that’s yer old sectarian foolishness which you’ve fetched with you from wicked Babylon. You must drop all that stuff here. Come git yer women in,” and added, “Tell Jehovah that you feel lonely and desire the companionship of a woman or two to help cheer your weary pilgrimage.” I did so, when Jehovah “ answered, “It is not good for man to be alone, I will make help meets for him.” Then I had to give the super my wife’s worldly maiden name, for notwithstanding we had been married by the English Law–the best Marriage Laws in the World-she was not yet Mrs. Jarman. Besides this “mock Marriage” in England was only till Death us do part.” I should lose her at death and never have her again. Death ends that contract, but now we were to be made one FOR EVER.

I was now taken to the holes where I had previously hugged the Apostle,” and stood just where he had stood. I then called for the woman was about to marry, when she, I had hitherto erroneously called wife, stepped up to the holes, aforesaid, on the outside of the screen, to receive her hugging. Here we stood with the dirty screen between us, Eve was on the outside instructing my “ missus,” and Peter’s super prompting me on the inside.

Our knees were peculiarly placed, the feet also were properly adjusted, and with both arms around each other we were told to “squeeze tight.’ We managed to do a bit of tolerably good squeezing considering the circumstances. First she gave me her maiden name, and to make assurance doubly sure I heard Eve” say, “Give him your New Name, and kiss him through the veil.” This lone, Eve told my wife to repeat after her a most disgusting formula or oath, which moral decency compels me to omit here.

The highest Melchizedek grip was again given, when we released our hold if each other. A “Priestess” or “ Prophetess “ then took my wife to the entrance through which I had been admitted, and rapped as the Priest had done in my case. “ Peter “ (or rather the super) for the real Peter had not ret returned. It takes time to wallop the devils out of eight wives. The super spoke out, “Who’s there? “ The Priestess replied, “Eve having been faithful desires to enter.”

Eve “was accordingly ushered into Heaven.” I then had to go through the same rigmarole to “fetch in t’other woman,” as they said, who was also to become a Mrs. Jarman. Having “gathered in” these two of my “lost ribs” I was directed to take them both to a table at which “The Gods,” the heads of the Mormon Church were seated. Here I had to give first my own name, that of my parents, and place and date of birth. The two women I was about to marry did the same, and all was entered in a large hook or marriage register. A copy of this register was then given me on a slip of paper, and I was directed to take that and the two women into the “Sealing Room,” and give the piece of paper to the officiating priest, who would marry me to both those women according to the “Order of Heaven.” I obeyed orders.

In this “Sealing Room” is the “Marriage Altar. Here we are married for “time and all eternity.” Think of it! it’s serious enough to be bound to a woman for time only, and how many wish they had married on probation. But what is that compared with marrying a wife for all eternity? It would scare most men. But every cloud has a silver lining somewhere, so also in this case. We can console ourselves with the thought that if the thing don’t work right or is not exactly O.K: Smith, the Great High Priest, who is also the Probate Judge, and who prominently officiates in the tying up biz., will untie the knot and divorce us at any time; notwithstanding the fact that he married us for all time, and eternity into the bargain. Then again this fact is very consoling to the men-that at the resurrection – he need not raise up the bad with the good: he has his pick then, and can call up only those of his wives who have been very loving, very faithful, very quiet, &c., &c., &c.

Hell on Earth, Part 4

This entry is part 20 of 50 in the series 2011A

So far as I could learn from this celebrated “Angel,” I should stand at the graves of my forty wives, provided I had so many, and should soliloquize thus: There’s Jane, she was a first-rate wife, and very faithful, I’ll have her up, hence I would bawl out, Jane come forth! and up she’d come. Well, there’s Maria, she was a vixen, I had enough of her during this life, I don’t want any more Maria in mine, she lies there and don’t come up. I then turn to the grave of lovely Susan, she was a darling. Susan arise! Up she comes, bright as a daisy, and so on, with Alice and Angelina, Lucy, Betsy, Bertha, and Bridget, Dora, Dina and Dorothy, Caroline and Catherine, Louisa, Martha, Matilda, Miriam, and Elizabeth; Pauline, Jemima, Priscilla, Rachel and Rebecca; Mabel, Agnes, and Abigal; Isabel, Rosabell, and all the other bells, be they many or few.

Thus I their lord and master, resurrect those wives that have been faithful and obedient to me, while the disobedient and unfaithful are doomed to everlasting oblivion. “You see,” said the “Angel,” continuing his strange theology, “This doctrine makes the women obey their husbands when nothing else will.” Polygamy is a peculiar affair, and it requires strong doctrine to regulate the domestic concerns of plurality; hence we teach that the husband is the only Lord and God the wife will ever know or be answerable to, and that her salvation depends entirely upon her husband, he alone can damn or save her.

Even this don’t keep Polygamic wives from fighting, scratching and hairpulling, and off times when they continue in a disobedient course, the husband has to resort to the means which Bro. Kimball preached, viz:-To cut them off, and send them back to their mother earth. Just like brother Andrews cut off that unfaithful wife of his by cutting her throat, and by such measures being adopted, we can often regulate the family affairs when all other efforts fail.”

With a cunning wink Gabriel tapped me on the shoulder and said, “I tell you what it is brother,” (fancy singing “I want to be an Angel, and with the Angels stand,” here I was an Angel’s brother.) “This doctrine of Polygamy is a queer thing to get along with anyhow.” I confessed that the Singularity of Plurality was a matter I could never understand, to which the Angel replied, “Practice makes all things perfect, even in Polygamy. You must practice plurality, young man, before you can understand its singularities.”

I thought the most fitting prayer for the occasion was “I pray thee have me excused.” But to return to the matter the “Angel” wished to convey when he cast that knowing wink, he said, “sometimes the terrible consequences of polygamy will drive a man into apostasy, then it becomes the duty of the “Destroying Angels” to attend to him as you will learn further on; but sometimes they evade the grasp of our blood atoners, and get away. Now then, this theology of ours teaches that the man being the only Lord and Saviour of the woman, when he leaves our church, the wives must leave him and marry some faithful brother that can save them. Hence you will find women in this territory who have been married to ten or a dozen different men.” I knew a woman that claimed 53 fathers for her three children, but then this is only a small part of the singularities of plurality. It’s a queer thing when you come to.go into it.

Having received such soul stirring and refreshing doctrine from an “Angel,” and anticipating more information such as I could not get, in any of your worldly, sensual, and devilish schools, I was somewhat sorry to find, that all the 40 men and 6o women had by this time got rid of all their sin in the bath tub, and stood before me looking very slick, having each received a coating of oil and the “Wedding Garment.” The women had also put themselves inside their chemise, and we men to match them had to don our shirts; in this condition we were all ushered into a dark room and made to squat higgledy-piggledy upon the bare floor; we were now supposed to represent the Sons of God which sang together at the Creation.

I did not sing, who could sing in the dark and not see what they were singing about? I failed to see the point. Presently there was a sound as of a mighty rushing wind that filled the place; in the dark we could hear considerable mumbling and jumbling; this we were given to understand was the “ Gods “ in conversation. I thought if they had anything to say they might as well speak out. Shortly a voice which we were told was that of “ Elohim “ rang out “Michael go down and gather the elements together and prepare to make a world.’ “ Aye! aye”! responded Michael, “behold it shall be done according to thy word.” Then the sound of footsteps tramp, tramp, tramp, convinced us that Michael was on the march to fulfil the command of “Elohim.”

After fumbling about in the dark awhile, the same footstep was again beard, conveying the idea that Michael having performed the task assigned him was returning from whence he came. When he got back he called out, “All right Elohim, behold all things are done as thou hast commanded.” Michael is thus sent to and fro by Elohim on several errands in connexion with the Creation now supposed to be taking place, and finally when the command is given “Let there be light,” and when “ there was light,” we the unfortunate candidates were in a curious predicament, here we were squatting around looking worse than a group of” Digger Indians,” and right before us stood the “ Gods “ and “Holy Angels.” Here was “ Elohim the boss God,” impersonated by Brigham Young,”

Jehovah “ was represented in the person of a Murderer, who ought at that time to have been dangling at the end of a rope. The “ Messiah “ or “ Christ “ was impersonated by a man with a Glass Eye. “ Michael “ being represented by a thorough “Masher and Smasher” that could captivate and thrash wives to perfection. There were “Gods many” and “Lords many,”-” Angels” and “bright personages” too numerous to mention; I shall describe some of them further on.

Now being in the light we could see as well as hear all that was going on, but I must necessarily omit a great deal of what transpires in this “Holy place.” I pass on to where we find ourselves after the world is completely organized and made ready for the habitation of man. Now “Elohim,” “ Jehovah “ and “ Christ “ say. “Let us make man in our own image, after our likeness, and let him have dominion over all these our works.” Then up jumps “ Adam, “ a fine looking specimen of humanity: he was a stranger to me at the time, but I afterwards found he was as good a man as ever cut a throat or scuttled a ship. Poor Adam looked kind of lonely and forsaken standing there alone, which drew out the sympathy of the “ Gods “ who noticed his forlorn condition.

The result was the “ Gods “ came to the conclusion that it was “not good for man to be alone,” and they decided there and then to make a “help meet for him,” but for some reason we were not permitted to see how the thing was done. Adam was mesmerised on the spot, then we were all told to go to sleep, and being obedient, we stretched ourselves on the floor and began to snore. As we are not supposed to know what takes place during our sleep (though at this particular time I slept with one eye open) my readers must be content to know that we were aroused from our slumber, and, on arising we beheld “Mother Eve” in all her beauty-Venus like, courting her Adonis, or rather Adam, and persuading him to get married, not that she feared a rival or had other choice, but Eve seemed to be on the marry, and looked determined to give Adam no rest until she obtained her “marriage lines.” While Adam and Eve were making such a confounded fuss over each other, we, the candidates for “future glory,” were ushered into another room called the “Garden of Eden.” The walls of this room were painted to imitate shrubbery and trees, the ceiling was .frescoed with numerous stars, while sky and clouds were roughly outlined; there was also large pots containing bushes and shrubs of various sorts to give the place the appearance of a garden; this was “Eden.” Here “Adam and Eve” were married, but the “ Gods “ having made but one woman there was no plurality of wives for Adam. I could not help thinking that surely this was the time and place for Polygamy, if such was necessary at all during any portion of the world’s history, why it was excluded from Eden I have yet to learn. Mormonism is a jumble of blasphemy, tragedy, and burlesque; although I treat some of the subjects in a bantering style, they are nevertheless true. Let the reader, however, here pause for a solemn consideration of the fact that Adam was only furnished with one wife notwithstanding the command, “Be fruitful and multiply.” Aye, and at the Flood only four women went into the Ark-one mate for each, male. According to Mormonism. man, who has degenerated, and cannot be said to posses the pristine vigour of primitive times, is now (after thoasands of years), and contrary moreover to philosophy, physiology, and psychology to have wives ad libitum. Let the dupes of the “ religious “ libertine consider this, and, however some parts of Scripture may be perverted, use only their commonsense. [To continue the Endowment House story]-

“Adam” and “ Eve “ being now man and wife, the “Gods” strictly charge them to be fruitful, and multiply and replenish the earth: after showing the consequence of disobedience, the Gods leave the garden. Adam having got over his honeymoon starts out for a walk by himself, like many a married man in this our day, leaving his dear wife to look after the garden and herself at the same time. No sooner is Eve left alone among the shrubs, when the Devil appears. Yes, dear reader, I have seen the Devil. This being the first time I ever saw his Satanic Majesty, I must describe what he is like.

To select a man to impersonate Satan requires something more than ordinary shrewdness. It is not every man one meets with who is adapted to make a first-class devil. Here we see the craftiness of Brigham Young in choosing Judge Phelps; could any one imagine a more fit and proper person to represent the Devil than a Lawyer,-a sombre Judge.

Brigham always despised the legal fraternity, and would often brand, and define them as a set of devils. I suppose this to be one reason why a Lawyer was selected to play the part of Satan in this Endowment drama. This devil of a Lawyer, or Lawyer-Devil, stands about five foot two and a button-hole-a withered shrivelled up old fogy.

I had always felt a dread of meeting the Devil; there seemed to be so much sulphur, brimstone, and pitchforks connected with him and his trade; and as he was supposed to be carrying on a roasting concern, or a sort of old-fashioned bake-oven on a large scale, I must confess that ray thoughts and ideas of the Devil were anything but refreshing. You may imagine how relieved I felt when standing before that small “wee bit” of a Satan-there he stood-all there was of him. How ridiculous the thought of being afraid of him; any man present could have snapped the life out of him at one pop. But he was of such a very pleasing disposition that no one could entertain the thought of doing him any harm.

When I was introduced to him I shook the old chap’s paw heartily: I wasn’t afraid; no, not I. Why should I? He smiled a sort of Satanic grin: this was performed very poorly; I could have done it better myself; however, I thought it best to make friends with his Devilship in case I may need a situation in his establishment in the future, and as the goodwill of a dog is better than its ill-will; I thought surely the goodwill of the Devil was far preferable to his ill-will; besides I concluded that it was more than possible I may be able to learn a trick or two from him; hence I sought to be on friendly terms with the Devil. As we “ Sir “ everyhody in America, except women, and this particular Devil being of the masculine gender,. I smiled and said, “Good morning, sir, happy to meet you, for I presume you are an American Citizen! “

“You bet yer boots that’s just what I am” he replied.

“Do you exercise the franchise, and vote at elections? “ I ventured to ask.

“Why certainly, and so does all my better  haffs,” he answered.

“What! Are you married?” I asked.

“Oh yes! and a daddy!” said the Devil.

I ventured to remark pleasantly that I had heard him spoken of as “the Father of Lies,” but that there should be a Mother of Lies had never entered my mind till now. He asked, “How can there be a father unless there is a mother?”

To get at what I started in to know I said, “Pray tell me, did Apostle Pratt give a true account of the Fall, &c., in his curious book called “The Seer.”

“Oh dear, Yes!” says the Devil, “Pratt is right, and the Bible and all the God forsaken Ministers are wrong. I can’t help grinning to think how the blind lead the blind. The Garden of Eden was in Jackson County Missouri where Eve “fell flat,” as they call it, and showed her wisdom, by being convinced the forbidden tree was good and pleasant, and a tree to be desired to make one wise and become as Gods. You will see presently how she became convinced, and took of the fruit thereof, so you need ask no more on that point. I’ll guarantee to make it all plain to every God forsaken child of man present before you get out of here.”

The Queen of Sheba’s remark to Solomon, “The half has never been told,” was given to me with “New Light,” too dazzling for these pages. Furthermore Great Salt Lake was fresh water before “Old Mother Lot suicided by steeping herself in it; she was a briny old cuss and made the water devilish salty. That’s why it is called The Great Salt Lake’ to this day. Remember Lot’s wife.”

I asked “Are there infants in Hell a span long, or any unfortunate babies whose parents failed to have them Christened?

“Look you here my friend,” said the Devil (fancy I was now the friend of Satan.) “There is no Hell! except what we get upon earth.”

“But we read of a bottomless pit,” I replied.

“Git out,” says “Satan.” “How can there be a pit without a bottom: besides it also says, it’s full of fire and brimstone. How can a bottomless pit ever get full? Where can you get the brimstone to keep the thing agoing? Brimstone burns out rapidly, and there ain’t enough in the universe to keep the thing running night and day for a month on the stretch, and yet they say the fire is never quenched.’ If the fire is always burning how can it be a place of darkness as they say. Its all humbug, you hear me! Don’t you believe such nonsense my friend.”

Then Satan enquired “How many wives are you going to marry today?

“I answered “Only two.”

Says the Devil “If you don’t get Hell enough out of that two, you can eat me, boots and all.”

I said “Are we not commanded to take more wives than one?”

“Yes,” replied the Devil, “but the hell of it is you are a darned sight too miserly over the thing, take my advice young man and marry at least a dozen, or you’ll have Hell upon Earth with them two. Two is always bound to fight and kick up hell, the one is jealous of ‘tother all the time, and you wont have a minute’s peace: but if you marry a dozen and mind your P’s and Q’s it’ll be a darned sight better for you, and-”

I was vexed to have this interview cut short, I wanted to ask more about these Lucifer matches as they are namesakes of his, and various other matters, but this chat occurring “behind the scenes, between the acts,” the time was up, and the Devil had to proceed to business.

To describe him more fully-he was clothed in a suit of black velvet; on his head he wore a sort of scull cap of the same material; this cap had two large ears which made him look somewhat Devilish, he also wore an apron made of a square of white satin on which was worked in with dark silk floss two large pillars representing the pillars of Solomon’s Temple, and a lot of serpents. He was a tricky customer, and oh, how he could lie! It is no wonder he is termed the “Father of lies “: and as the Mormons have been well trained by the Devil, it is no marvel that they are the greatest liars upon the face of the earth. The Devil is also a great deceiver, and the fact that Mormon Missionaries are well trained by the Devil in Utah is the reason why they manage to deceive so many people in England and other places when they come in search of dupes.

With this description of the Devil I will now describe the part taken by this “ Lucifer “ in the ceremonies which follow. Of course, Eve so pure, so beautiful has to fall, and “no devil no fall,” hence the Devil has a very important part to play in this hellish drama.

Satan, who had been in close proximity peeping through the bushes when “ Jehovah “ commanded Adam and Eve “to be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth,” now finding Eve alone seeks to instruct her in regard to this very important command; for this purpose he steps forward and shaking hands says, “Good morning, Eve, it’s a fine morning, and what a beautiful place you have here!” Looking all around he adds, “what beautiful fruit! “ and going straight to the tree containing the forbidden fruit Satan plucks some, tastes it, pronounces it very good, and offers some to Eve. She, of course, very politely refuses, and gives the reason-it is forbidden. Eve assumes a very maiden-like and innocent touch-me-not attitude.

Then the Devil, with much adroitness, convinces Eve that in order to fulfil the command “Be fruitful,” she must partake of a particular fruit_ I cannot here explain what takes place between Eve and the Devil, these matters are not intended for the “unregenerate,” they are to be “ spiritually discerned.” If you cannot discern I can only help you a little by referring to “The Seer,” vol. t, page 85, par 69 That our first parents would have had no mortal children if they had not partaken of the forbidden fruit, is not only reasonable, but it is clearly revealed in the Book of Mormon. The Prophet Lehi says, If Adam had not transgressed, he would not have fallen. AND THEY WOULD HAVF.HAD NO CHILDREN; wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no sin. Adam fell that men might be; and men are that they may have joy,’ (2 Book of Nephi, 1st chap., page 58.)

“ And in that day the Holy Ghost fell upon Adam, and Adam blessed God and was filled, and began to prophesy concerning all the families of the earth: blessed be the name of God for my transgression, for in this life I shall have joy, and again in the flesh shall I see God.

“And Eve, his wife, heard all these things and was glad, saying, were it not for our transgression, WE SHOULD NEVER HAVE HAD -SEED The capitals in these quotations are as in the book], and should never have known good and evil. And Adam and Eve blessed- the name of God, and they made all things known unto their sons and daughters.”

This is why the sons and daughters of Adam know so much now-a-days. It has been handed down, and the Devil has had a hand in it also, as we learn in the same paragraph from which I have quoted, thus:-” BECAUSE THAT ADAM FELL WE ARE: and by his fall came death, and we are made partakers of misery and woe. Behold Satan hath come among the children of men, and tempteth them to worship him: and men have become carnal, sensual, and devilish, and are shut out from the presence of God.”

It appears from this book also that we have cause to be truly thankful that Eve fell and then managed to seduce Adam, for the prophet Lehi continues; “Therefore I lift up my heart in praise and thanksgiving before the Lord yea, I bless God with all my soul, that our first parents did transgress; for, because of this transgression my spirit has been permitted to come from Heaven and enter a tabernacle of flesh and bones-because of this transgression, I am permitted to know, in this life, good and evil, joy and misery, justice and mercy, love and hatred-because of this transgression, I learn by experience things which I never could have learned in any other way: and but for this transgression the great family of spirits in Heaven would have been disappointed in their anxious longing expectations to receive bodies.” “The Seer, p. 88, see Appendix C. for more of the Seer.

I have conversed with thousands who have been through these ceremonies and from what I learned from them it is very evident that some parts of the performances are varied at times, so that should we attempt to expose them there would be conflicting statements. At one time Satan himself consummates the fall of Eve; at another time Satan only explains matters to Eve, and Adam accomplishes the fall. Sometimes men and women are huddled together entirely nude; at other times partly dressed. Mormon leaders are very tricky, and I have no doubt the ceremonies are varied occasionally. I can only give the facts as I saw and heard them. While they vary in regard to some particulars, they all agree as to the washing and oiling part of it.

“It is quite probable the ceremony is frequently changed,”-” Beadel’s Life in Utah,” p. 492.

It is a matter of surprise among decent people that a woman could be found in this our day and generation to take the character of Eve in such a place, and the question naturally arises, who is she? To answer briefly. She styles herself  “Miss Eliza R. Snow.” That you may form a correct idea of this Miss I will state that I have heard her say in public that when the “Revelation on Polygamy” was first given she immediately married Joseph Smith, while his wife, Mrs. Emma Smith, was still living with her affectionate husband. In fact, this Miss Snow constantly boasts that she was the first to obey the Revelation and to enter into Polygamy.

When Smith died, Miss Snow married the “ Prophet “ Brigham Young, and since the demise of this worthy I understand our Miss has united herself in holy Wedlock to the present “ Prophet “ John Taylor. I have no doubt this latter is correct for she seemed wonderfully “stuck after Prophets.”

She is termed by the “ unwashed “ of Salt Lake the procuress of the Church, as she spends most of the time when not engaged performing “Eve,” in seeking to induce young girls to marry the lecherous old scamps who are ever seeking fresh victims for their filthy Polygamic harems.

Mrs. Smith, on page 45, “Fifteen Years among the Mormons” says:-” Eliza Snow performed the part of Eve more than any other woman. Now at fifty years of age she is even yet very beautiful, and she may be said to perform infamously well.”

Having said this much in regard to Eve, we will again turn to the scenes in “Eden.” The Devil having thoroughly instructed Eve concerning the forbidden fruit and other details concerning the fall, proceeds to show how it is to be accomplished, and having finally adjusted matters the Devil goes off and hides behind a tree to await further developments. At this juncture Adam, who has taken a stroll alone, now returns when Eve plays well the part consigned to her by the Devil. Here, then, we have before us the sad picture of the first fallen woman, who, being created as the “help meet” of the man, helps him to his downfall, and we are informed that “Adam is the first, but not the last man thus drawn aside from the path of virtue by a woman.”

Some think that Adam should have remained firm and not have yielded to Eve. Had they stood with me and witnessed what I did, they would never blame him. Many men fall by “Temptation,” less than Adam’s. I can assure you Adam deserves credit; he stood out like a man, and it seemed doubtful if Eve would succeed in her undertaking so proof was he against all her subtleness. But finally human nature, even in Adam gave way and he fell.

The first chance I got between the acts (for all this is similar to a theatrical drama) I said to “Adam “-” How is it that you, so pure, and before the fall, could allow a poor fallen man like Joseph, to beat you in purity and virtue? “

“Look you here,” says Adam, “If you read that yarn about Joseph carefully, you’ll find he had a coat on at the time of his temptation, which makes a darned sight of difference: ’twas his coat saved him. But, say! “ continued Adam, thinking I was chiding him. “You fetch your Josephs’ in here, and strip ‘ern, and let old Mother Eve git a hold on ‘ern bet six bits,* she’ll hold ’em, they won’t slip away from her.”

Eve fell first, then Adam fell, and just as the fall was completed, we, the candidates for initiation, were supposed to realise the condition of our first parents, when “they knew that they were naked,” and being aroused to our true condition with much shamefacedness (for our eyes were now opened, they were supposed to have been shut up to this time), we dive into our little bundles and get out the “Fig-leaf Apron” wherewith to cover our nakedness. Then there is a fearful commotion in the garden. A loud noise of tramping, and thump, thump, is heard, which is supposed to be the approach of “Jehovah.” Adam and Eve the fallen, are hid in the bushes.

The Devil who has been watching all the proceedings from behind a tree, continues his devilish grins; while “Jehovah” appears, and loudly calls “Adam where art thou?” Adam comes sneaking out from the bushes looking very criminal; Eve follows looking awful sheepish and very pale. Poor Eve, I really felt sympathy for her, she looked like a mother of twins on her way to be churched.

Satan comes forth from his hiding place and the remarkable trio stand confronted by “Jehovah.” Adam was the first to break the silence that ensued; speaking to Jehovah, he said, “I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I wast naked, and I hid myself.” Then Jehovah replied, “Who told thee thou wast naked? Hast thou partaken of the forbidden fruit? “ Adam pushing the blame on his wife as men are apt to do now-adays, answered, “The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she got the best of me and I had to give in, it’s no use talking.”

At this, Jehovah turns to the woman and snappishly enquires, “What is this that thou hast done?

“Eve, like her daughters of the present day, was not minus an excuse, she threw the blame on the Devil who had beguiled her. Then “Jehovah’s “wrath Was kindled, and I saw the Devil quiver as he received the cursing. Up to this point Satan had stood erect as a man, but when the words were uttered by “Jehovah,” “Upon thy belly thou shalt go,” the Devil stooped, placing his hands upon the floor, and ran around the place on his hands and feet, like we sometimes see boys when playing monkeys. Satan stopped occasionally to taste his new victuals, the “ dust “ but he did not seem to like it, and cast many a glance at the fruit on the tree with a nod and a wink, which was interpreted to mean that he’d have some when the way was clear.

The woman also came in for a share of “ divine “ vengeance. “In sorrow shalt thou bring forth children,” now rang in her ears; and not only was she to have sorrow where she anticipated so much joy, but the multiplication table was to be lavishly used in her case, “I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception,” were the words now used for her edification. Hitherto she had held the upper hand: she was indeed “the better half.” She could make Adam conform to her ideas and desires, but now her desire was subject to her husband, and she was dismissed with the consoling words: “And he shall rule over thee.” It is this that gives Utah husbands the power they so freely exercise to rule their wives as with a rod of iron.

Adam was let off pretty easily,-he was merely turned into a farm labourer. He had tried his hand at tailoring, but at this he was not a success, his fig leaf apron was a poor specimen of workmanship, besides tailors were in poor demand, for the woolen manufactories had not yet started-in fact there had been no sheep shearing.

The first requirements were husbandmen, especially as there was to be now some weeding to attend to besides the cultivation of the soil. We now file out of the garden, clothed with our fig leaf aprons, and in this “light marching order” costume, we are thrust out of Eden into the cold, cold world. Now we are in a bitter cold room without fire in the depths of winter, the thermometer registering ten degrees below zero. I found there was not much warmth in fig leaves. My apron was of little service, either as a non-conductor of heat, or to keep out the cold. The mercury of our enthusiasm drop’d below zero also.

I had a chat with the “Archangel Michael,” and was surprised to learn from him that he was also Adam our Father and God; that after the war in Heaven, having beaten the Devil he came upon this earth as Adam. He was the first spirit to enter a fleshly tabernacle. The earth had been formed just prior to this “Holy War” and as there is no hell, the Devil and his Angels, when thrust out of Heaven made a bee-line for America, and landed in Missouri where the Garden of Eden was situated. He said get “The Seer” and read page so and 51, that will give the straight of it. I did so and straightway got the “straight of it” thus. “In the revelations which God gave through Joseph Smith the Prophet, we are informed that Adam was Michael, that the war in Heaven had ended before Michael left Heaven, and entered a body of flesh and bones under the name of Adam.”

The glass-eyed “ Messiah “ came to me picking his teeth, and said that He, Elohim and Jehovah had just been having a nice snack of the cold chicken and ham in my lunch basket, and told me where to find the empty basket. I tried to draw him out on matters spiritual, but he was too worldly-minded. He had heard that I possessed some cash, and as he owned some saw mills, he wanted to strike up a partnership. But having heard of him as “the one-eyed pirate” I was on the look out, and though he was playing “ Messiah “ I was up to his trick and no bargain was struck.

This was between the acts of the expulsion from the garden, after the fall, and the next act where we are “clothed upon with our holy garments,” or in plain English before we donned our togs, I should think about one o’clock, but my watch was in my vest pocket, and I had not seen my clothes since I stripped six hours before, and of course there were no clocks or watches in “Eden.”

Just as we were concluding that we had better freeze to death and thus wind up the ceremony, “ Jehovah “ appeared, seemingly in a much better mood than when we last saw him in the garden. He had been out helping himself to the cold chicken and ham in my lunch basket, and having refreshed himself, felt better. He deeply sympathized with us in our shivering condition and in the new mile of tailor, dressmaker and outfitter, promised to make “coats of skins” for every man and woman in the place.

We were now ordered to untie our bundles, the Priest who gave the orders sublimely saying, “Fetch out yer duds; “ this was the signal to don our “Endowment Robes.” There was considerable fumbling in the operation, the sash being purposely put on wrong to necessitate a change again at another part of the ceremony. We were now cautioned that if any of us ever attempted to reveal what we saw and heard in the “ House “ our memories would be blighted, and we should be everlastingly damned, for these “ Holy” matters must not be mentioned after leaving the “Sacred Place.” Hence, I suppose my damnation is secure, but how far my memory has been blighted my readers can judge for themselves.

I must not forget to notice the emblems one finds -connected with this matter; my blighted memory shall only fail me in matters too indecent to publish-these I must forget. On the right breast of the “Wedding Garment” we have the “Square,” and on the left the “Compass.” There is also a small hole in the centre, and on the knee a large hole called the “stone.” I once took this “ garment “ to a Chinaman to ascertain what that heathen would think of it. John carefully scrutinized it all over, especially in the middle, where he thought I had joined drawers and vest together to cheat him of one piece in the wash bill; then pointing to the “square,” the Chinaman said, “You no good mason, you try cheat me one. No go. Shirt and drawers all-same two pieces.”

I failed to convince the heathen that it was but one garment, the pattern of which had been revealed from Heaven. He made me pay for two pieces. I have been asked, “is the Devil a Freemason? “ I give it up, don’t know; he said he was, but he lies so who can believe him? But this I know, I have seen the Devil wear an apron similar to that worn by freemasons. It contained the pillars of Solomon’s Temple, which are used so. much in Masonic emblems, but as we are coming to the grips, signs, etc., the fraternity will discover much that is “ emblematic ‘ as we proceed.

The first Mormon Prophet was a “Mason,” so was Brigham Young. General Beadel, in his “Life in Utah,” p. 499, says:-” The Mormons all became Masons. Joseph Smith out-masoned Solomon himself, and declared that God had revealed to him a great key-word which had been lost, and that he would lead Masonry to far higher degrees, and not long after their Charter was revoked by the Grand Lodge. How much of Masonry proper has survived, in the Endowment, the writer will not pretend to say; but the Mormons are pleased to have the outside world connect the two, and convey the impression that this is ‘Celestial Masonry.’“

Knowing this I was not much surprised to find Masonic emblems in the room, such as “The Compass, Square, Level, and Plumb-bob.” To convince the Masonic Fraternity of the truth of this, I quote from page 48 of “Fifteen years among the Mormons,” by Mrs. Mary E. V. Smith, where she says:- “ Certain marks were cut with a small pair of scissors, besides others, the Masonic square and compass, upon the right and left breast of our garments, and upon the right knee, a gash, deep enough to make a scar, by which we were to be recognized as Mormons. It was a noticeable feature that the outside show of some of the regalia and furniture connected with these “ Endowments “ were made to conform with those of Masonry; and Mormons are anxious to have the ‘ Gentiles ‘ associate all they know of these beastly ‘.Endowments’ with Masonry, or as being a modified form of it, made eligible to women, as a blind to cover the real objects of this Institution.’

Hell on Earth, Part 3

This entry is part 19 of 50 in the series 2011A

Note from JJ. This should be particularly interesting to those who are familiar with the current temple ceremony.  Apparently there were significantly different ceremonies and procedures in the early days.

There are other features very amusing, which show that the dear men often get in for it, but as I give a chapter on “He and She Devils “-Raising the Devil,” &c., further on, just to show what you may expect I give one wee bit here from a paper published in Salt Lake City-” The Salt Lake Tribune.-

“One of the Saints who took unto himself recently a second wife has been brought to law by the first. On the morning after the nuptials had been celebrated, the newly-married couple were rather late rising. Wife No. 1 went up about 10 o’clock, and finding the couple still in bed took a rope and larruped the two soundly, with the remark to her lord and master, “I’ll learn you to stay in bed until after 10 o’clock when you have business to attend to.”

“Tis not restraint or liberty that makes men Prisoners or Free. Hudibras.

Nature has not provided for polygamy in the United States. The census report for 1880 shows that there are a million males in excess of females in that country. If the ” Revelation “that one man should marry 20 or 100 wives is to be adhered to, where are the women to come from? As it is for every 25 men, one is left out in the cold, with “no one to love, none to caress,’ -doomed to be an old bachelor. Polygamy could not be kept up, were it not that Mormon Missionaries drag so many girls to Utah from the manufacturing towns of England, Scotland, and Wales, and the British Government should arrest these scamps who come here to make white slaves Of our English girls, -and to procure inmates for their filthy harems.

I shall give a chapter of horrors in regard to the brutal and murderous practices of polygamy further on, here I pass over tragedy, and merely relate one case. To show this in a proper light, I will introduce a paragraph of Apostle Kimball’s sermon preached at Salt Lake. “What power has any one of my wives to act independently; she has not a particle of power. She must act in connection with me as the limb acts in connection with the tree from which it springs. If not she is a dead limb; will they ever come to life again after they are dead? No! They must be cut off and thrown back into the earth to return to their mother element.” [Journal of Discourses, vol. 6, p. 67]. The case I give is that of a Mormon who had ten wives. One of them disobeyed him, or in the words of the sermon quoted, “acted independently of him.” Her lord and master sharpened his razor; then taking this wife upon his knee he lovingly kissed her, and then cut her throat from ear to ear, and held her till she expired. He afterwards dug a grave in his garden, and consigned her to mother earth “to return to her mother element.” This man still lives in Utah, with his other nine wives, and no law reaches him. On page 469 of “The Rocky Mountain Saints” is the following:-

“KISSED HER AND CUT HER THROAT.?

“One of the wives of a Polygamist was unfaithful during his absence when he was on a mission. On his return, the ” Reformation ‘ was in full blast, and the unhappy wife believed that, from this faux pas she was doomed to lose her claim to motherhood over the children which she had already borne; that she would be cast aside in eternity as well as in time, by her husband; that, in fact, she would only be an angel, and with the angels stand; and that she could not reach the circle of the gods and goddesses unless her blood was shed. She consented to meet the penalty of her error, and while her heart ‘ was gushing with affection for her husband and her children, and her mind absorbed with faith in the doctrine of human sacrifice, she seated herself upon her husband’s knee, and after the warmest and most endearing embrace she-had ever known-it was to be her last-when the warmth of his lips still lingered about- her glowing cheek, with his own right hand he calmly cut her throat and sent her spirit to the keeping of the gods. That kind and loving. husband still lives near Salt Lake City, and preaches occasionally with great zeal. He seems happy enough.” [See Chapter of Horrors for more.]

Polygamy produces curious consanguinity. A man married a widow and two of her daughters. Shortly after he married another of his wife’s daughters, who had also been left a widow with three girls, and when these girls grew up he married these three stepdaughters also, so as to keep them in the family. This man was, therefore, the husband of grandmother, mother, daughter, grandaughters, and step daughters. In addition to this he married two of his nieces, and to cap the climax, married his half sister, and they all bear him children. Now what relation do these children bear to each other? and what is the relative position of the father in this case? Figure it up, and you will find that this man is his own uncle and stepson, and if you trace further you will discover that this very individual is his own grandfather.

The creed and practice of the ‘Saints” in Utah differs vastly from the Mormon Missionaries’ statements in England. There were about 3,000 dupes gathered there at the time I was. It must not be said that I was the only fool in Great Britain, or the only one here who could possibly be duped and “roped in” by these Mormon Missionary scamps; I wish it were so, but the ‘ facts show otherwise.

On the Sunday we, 3,000 “Greenhorns” as they term fresh arrivals from Europe, went to the Tabernacle.  Apostle ” Pratt preached for our edification as follows:-

“I want to talk to the new comers, and let me tell you plainly, you have come from Babylon-the churches or Christendom-but you might as well remained in your Baptist, Methodist, and other Churches, unless you fulfill the whole counsel of God and go into Polygamy. No man can be saved unless he has at least two wives. You can’t get into Heaven lop-sided like a crab, with one woman pulling you down on one arm; you must be evenly balanced with a wife on each arm, then you can get into Heaven but not else. If you have a dozen or so hanging on to your coat tails, all the better: the more wives the more glory you will have, but if you stick to the one wife and refuse to take others, I tell you every one of you will be damned, and any woman who refuses to give her husband another wife will be eternally damned. Utah expects every man this day to do his duty, and take all the wives possible. Any wife found raising objections to this shall be destroyed, for thus saith the Lord in his Revelation commanding Polygamy.”

This was the kind of preaching we all had to listen to.

Deseret News,” October 1, 1856.

” Apostle ” Grant, in the Salt Lake Bowery, September, 1856, uttered the following:

“We have women here who like anything but the Celestial Law of God, and if they could break asunder the cable of the Church of Christ, (Polygamy) there is scarcely a mother in Israel but would do it this day. And they talk it to their husbands, to their daughters, and to their neighbours, and they say they have not seen a week’s happiness since they became aquatinted with that law, or since their husbands took a second wife.”

“A JOHN BULL YANKEE,” BOSS DEVIL OF “HELL UPON EARTH.”

At Brigham Young’s death, seven years ago, the World said, “Mormonism will fall to pieces,” but today it is stronger than ever. The fact is people know very little about it. A greater than Brigham exists. John Taylor, the present Prophet, a Church of England man, from Manchester, understands Church and State and kingdom affairs, much better than Brigham did. Americans admit that English, or “John Bull Yankees,” as they call them, beat the Natives. The Prophet Taylor knows well how to instruct his Missionaries in the art of seducing Britishers; and having himself been a missionary and lied like the Devil, he makes a first-class Boss Devil in this “Hell upon Earth.” In France, at a public debate, he denied Polygamy, although at the same time he had five wives at home. On page 8 of “Three Nights public discussion at Boulogne-sur-mer,” published in Liverpool by the same John Taylor, I find the following:-

“We are accused here of polygamy and actions the most indelicate, obscene, and disgusting, such as none but a corrupt and depraved heart could have contrived. These things were too outrageous to admit of belief; therefore leaving the sisters of the white veil,’ the black veil,’ and all the other ‘veils’ with those gentlemen to dispose of, together with their authors, as they think best, I shall content myself with reading our views of chastity and marriage, from a work published by us containing some of our articles of faith, ‘Doctrine and Covenants,’ page 330.” Inasmuch as this Church of Jesus Christ has been reproached with the crime of fornication and polygamy, we declare that we believe that one man should have but one wife, and one woman but one husband, except in case of death, when either is at liberty to marry again.,”

The “High Priest” Journalist, on page 193 of “The Rocky Mountain Saints,” says:- “At the very time that Brother Taylor’ read these pages in Boulogne-sur-mer, he had himself, living in Salt Lake City, five wives: one of his two companions who likewise testified during the discussion, had also two wives there; and the other companion had likewise two wives in the persons of a mother and her own daughter!

Taylor also read:-” We believe that it is not right to prohibit members of this Church from marrying out of the Church.” To show that Taylor preached one thing and practiced another, “I quote from “Fifteen Years among the Mormons,” by Mrs. Mary Ettie V. Smith:- (Available free at Googlebooks)

“When Col. Steptoes’ regiment halted a short time in Salt Lake City on its way to California, she says:-” One of the officers formed an acquaintance with a daughter of John Taylor-Mary Ann. She was a very interesting girl; and the intimacy ripened into a mutual attachment. Her father is one of the Twelve Apostles (now Prophet), and a man of great influence in the Church, and at the time edited a paper in New York known as the Mormon. She succeeded in getting married. This was a termination more fortunate than she could have expected had the father been at home. For when he heard of it, he wrote to the Prophet blaming him very severely for not preventing the marriage by the sacrifice of her life. He wrote that he should always feel dissatisfied because the blood of his daughter had not been shed to atone for the sin of marrying out of the Church.” This work is published by Belknap and I Bliss Hartford, Con., U.S., 1870.

If you want the nightmare, or your hair to stand on end, get Mrs. Smith’s book. I give her affidavit and what else I can in future chapters, but my quotations must be brief.       .

THE “ENDOWMENT HOUSE,” ITS SECRETS AND FREEMASONRY-

THE DEVILS’ PINAFORE-WEDDINGS IN HELL.

Having heard so much about the “Endowment House” I had a great desire to go through and see what it really was. Mormon leaders will not allow converts to enter that ” Holy ” place until tried and found faithful, which sometimes take years. I managed to get my necessary papers, which are required to gain admission, four months after I arrived at Salt Lake. Here I was to see Gods, Angels, the Devil, Gabriel, Michael, Peter, James, and John, and learn from them my whole duty as a man and a brother.

It may be termed the Secret Lodge of Mormonism, where candidates for future glory are initiated into the “Mysteries of the Kingdom.” The Saints in England are assured that in this House they will meet Jehovah and “learn the ways of the Lord more perfectly.” It is held up to us as “a very sacred place.” They disclose no more than Free Masons, and other kindred societies before initiating a candidate; it is all mystery till we get in, and then it’s too late to get out with clean hands and a pure heart. No man or woman can possibly go through that sink-hole of iniquity without becoming totally oiled and very much soiled.

I will tell all that I can with decency, and as this book will not be sold in a sealed envelope, or be given to the public as obscene literature, I am compelled to omit very much that I would like to have an opportunity to whisper in men’s ears. Those gentlemen who have heard my private lecture to men only, are better posted in the things transpiring in that ” sacred ” place. To give a faint idea of what it is like, I quote from a work written by a lady who passed through it. On page 50 of “Fifteen years among the Mormons,” Mrs. Smith says:-

“Now in conclusion of my disclosures upon this ‘Endowment’ subject, associated as it is with hateful memories of that peculiar kind, most distasteful to the recollection of a pure woman, I deem it my duty in compensation for what I have felt compelled to omit, especially of that never-to-be-forgotten scene in the Garden of Eden,’ to state that the ‘moral’ and object of the whole is, socially to unsex the sexes … and when I call the attention of the reader to the fact that while I have described the dress of all the parties to this inhuman display and ocular demonstration, I have not mentioned the dress of Adam and Eve,’ nor the nature of the FRUIT by which each was in turn tempted; I think, he will admit, that while I have said enough I have also left more unsaid than the imagination, held with the loosest possible rein, would be likely to picture; and I have only to add, that the reality is too monstrous for human belief.” See Mrs. Smith’s Affidavit, &c., Appendix D.

I coincide with her publisher, who adds this foot-note:-” It would scam to be a misfortune that a false estimate of propriety should be allowed to interpose a barrier against the exposure of these Mormon debaucheries.”

Mormon Leaders defy Apostates to tell it, and well they may. The indecencies, oaths, and penalties effectually bar its exposure in most instances; many have attempted it and checked themselves suddenly, just where they should go ahead. Not that I blame them. Life is dear to most people, and these attempts at exposure were made in America, within reach of Mormon “Destroying Angels.” General Beadel, in his work “Life in Utah,” page 500, says:-

“Apostates universally have a horror or fear of speaking about it, and never do until they are safe beyond the power of the Church.” I am 7,000. miles away, and can snap my finger at all the Mormon infernal devils, so fond of cutting throats and sending people “to Hell across lots.” Moral decency and a great desire to have this book pass through the Post, is all that checks me from giving a complete exposure, and every word used in that Hell within a Hell. I give all that anyone can possibly give in public, and much more than has ever before been given. Men can learn more at my private lectures..

“H. Jenson, the Apostate Mormon who was threatened with blood atonement for revealing the Endowment House Oaths, died on Sunday at Brigham City, Utah.”-Salt Lake Tribune.

The secret place of initiation into Mormon mysteries is called the “Endowment House,” where we are said to receive our “Endowments.”

It takes nine hours to go through all the rites and ceremonies, grips, signs, oaths, covenants, obligations, and filthiness. We enter the Endowment House at 7 a.m., taking with us a well-filled lunch basket, and a bottle or more of olive oil. If a man is to take one wife, two bottles of oil are sufficient, but should he be matrimonially inclined, and is about to take unto himself two wives at the same time, he must have three bottles of oil, and so on, adding another bottle for each additional wife.

It takes a pint of the best oil to slide each individual through these ceremonies. At the time I went through and received my “Endowments” there accompanied me some forty men and sixty women who were fellow candidates for the same “Blessing.” Each person, in addition to the lunch and oil, has also a little bundle; the man’s bundle contains a clean white shirt, a pair of white socks, the “Holy Endowment” or “Wedding Garment,” a white linen robe, or loose gown-somewhat after the style of the ancient eastern costume, and a linen sash, a turban or cap, also of white linen, and the “fig leaf apron; ” this is made of a square of green silk, upon which is worked with brown floss nine fig leaves.

These articles, together with a pair of white linen moccasins form the contents of each man’s bundle. Pardon me for peeping into the woman’s “little bundle,” but being of a curious and sort of “Paul Pry” disposition, I must take the consequence. The “Daughters of Zion” not only slide into the kingdom a la olive oil, but a certain paraphernalia of dress is also requisite to complete the modes operandi. In the female’s bundle we find such interesting articles as a chemise, purely white and clean, a snow white bed gown, a pair of white stockings, garters with the motto “Boni soit qui mal y pense ‘ omitted, a sort of night cap (white of course) with a huge veil; this veil is used but once to cover the face, although it is very badly needed for that purpose during the disgusting ceremonies.

There is also a large flowing linen robe, a sash, a pair of white linen moccasins, the “fig leaf apron” of the same material and description as the men’s, and likewise the “Endowment,” or “Wedding Garment.” Much importance is attached to this article of apparel, and we are here reminded of the man who got into the feast without the Wedding Garment; and we are given to understand by the Priests that should any of us happen to get in without this garment, we shall be “kicked out.”

I cannot better describe this garment than by saying it is under shirt and drawers in one. If my readers wish to possess a “Wedding Garment” just take a pair of drawers and a vest or undershirt; stitch them together making one garment of the twain and you have it, only be sure to cut off the buttons and sew up the button holes and put tape strings in their places for tying instead of buttoning, for buttons and button holes are patterning after the ” Gentiles ” and considered -very worldly: there’s nothing ” Heavenly ” about buttons and button holes.

We are cautioned never to be found outside of this “Holy Garment.” It must ever after be worn next to the skin, for with this garment on we are told it’s impossible for the Devil to enter one’s body, if we are in a building on fire without means of escape, this Garment will keep us from burning, we shall pass through the fire like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, with our hair singed and no smell of fire upon us; so you see it’s a complete fire escape. Then again if shipwrecked and no lifeboat handy this Garment becomes a swimming apparatus which beats Paul Boyton’s: we cannot sink. It is a wonder to me that no “Yankee” has yet patented the thing. Think of it; here we have a Garment warranted Devil-proof, fireproof, waterproof, and what not, and the patent not applied for yet. What a chance for some enterprising Yankee. So careful are the ” Saints ” never to be without this garment, that when changing the soiled for a clean one, they first pull off a sleeve of the dirty one and immediately slip the arm (bare but an instant) into the sleeve of the clean garment; then the corresponding leg is slipped off and replaced at once within the leg of the clean, and so on, till finally the whole garment is changed.

Having thus described the contents of the “little bundles,” I will merely say in passing, the lunch we take with us is for the ” Priests ” that minister before the ” Lord ” in that “Holy Place.” We get none of this, we get meat to eat the world knows not of, strong meat at that. What we get in the Endowment House” can in no way be termed “milk for babes,” Oh no! we are supposed to have grown by this time to the stature of full men and full women in the Lord; in fact before entering we obtain from the Bishop a Certificate that we are strong enough in the faith to endure the scorchings and searchings, the fire and awful grandeur of this sublime place. This Certificate also states that the holder thereof is in good standing in the “Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day-Saints “-has paid up his tithing and is in every particular worthy to receive his or her “Endowments.” If a man intends to marry two or more wives at this particular time the certificate states that he is worthy and recommends that he be allowed the “privilege.”

On entering the “Endowment House” we present the Certificate to the officiating Priest, who examines it and, if found correct, enters the same in a book kept for that purpose; the name, place and date of birth, and the Parents’ name of the person presenting the certificate are also entered. We hand over to the Priest the lunch and the olive oil, keeping the little bundle ourselves. When all the Certificates and names are duly registered and the house is full, we are ushered into another room called the bath room and ordered to disrobe; 40 men and 60 women had now to get rid of their vast sins by means of a bath. A Mormon “Order of the Bath.” I saw at a glance that the first in the tub would get the cleanest bath, for many of my brethren showed unmistakable signs of having neglected their ablutions for a very long time past, hence I preferred to take my bath before; rather than after them, and being quick at undressing I was the first to spring into the bath tub.

Here the High Priest stood ready to manipulate. He began by scratching into the roots of my hair like a barber shampooing a man, and as he kept scratching away he said Bro. J.-by this process I now wash away all the unholy thoughts that have previously occupied your mind, at the same time passing his hands over my forehead. He then washed my eyes thoroughly saying, “I now wash away all that you have ever beheld of iniquity.” My mouth received a cleansing and was rinsed out with cold water, The Priest said “I now cleanse you from all the evil you have ever said,” thus all the naughty words I had uttered, and all the little and big lies I had told up to this time were washed away.

My ears next received attention, and all the evil and sin I had heard was cleansed. My hands received a complete washing, so that if I had helped myself to anything that did not belong to me, or had given anyone a blackened eye, or any and every sin my hands had committed was also washed away. My arms, breast, in short away down through the whole body every part was carefully attended to right down to the soles of the feet, so that if my feet had been swift to do evil those sins were also removed; in fact I was pronounced “clean every whit.”

Having been thus cleansed from all my sins I was shoved over to another Priest, the Priest who had washed me bawled out ” Next ” as he gave me a push, and another victim took my place at the same bath tub, and in the same water that contained all my sin. The Priest I was so unceremoniously pushed toward was the ” Aaronic Priest Called of God as was Aaron.” It was this individual’s prerogative to attend to the ” Anointing ” business; he took my bottle of olive oil and poured the whole pint into an old cow’s horn, called the “Holy Horn of Anointing.” First of all he poured Oil on my head “that ran down upon the beard, even down to the skirts of”-here the quotation fails for we had no garments on; however it ran down to the toe nails, then the Priest vigorously scratched the oil into the roots of my hair like a barber when he uses bay rum after a good shampoo.

Now says the Priest “I anoint your head so that for the future nothing but holy thoughts shall occupy your mind, your eyes that you may turn them away from beholding of vanity or evil, your mouth that you may always speak the words of truth and righteousness,” and so he kept on rubbing in the oil at every part, and mumbling nonsense right down to the tips of the toes and soles of the feet. I was thoroughly greased, oiled all over. I felt just then that I certainly was a slippery customer; this oil is supposed to remain upon the person as-” The Holy Oil of the Anointing,” but its stay on me was of short duration “you bet,” for I found no rest until a hot bath removed all that ” Holy ” or rather oily stuff.

Talking with a good Mormon ” Saint ” whose presence I did not like, especially in hot weather, he told me that he was oil’d 25 years ago and the consecrated stuff was still on him, for he had not taken a bath since. My apostasy was attributed to the fact that I had washed off the consecrated oil, so that the sacred influence refused to stick to me. In addition to the sin of divesting myself of all oily substances, I also found the “Wedding Garment” most uncomfortable to wear, and having to sleep with the thing on, my rest was so much disturbed, I concluded to leave it off. Thus the Devil got possession of my body again and entered in, “And the last state of this man was worse than the first,” at least, so say the Mormons. After being oiled, I had to put on the “Wedding Garment,” but how to get into it was a caution, I suppose I never should have got the thing outside of me had not the Priest very materially assisted in the-operation; having got the sacred rags on (for I had split the concern in making the rash attempt) the Priest whispered in my ear the “New name, which no man knoweth, saving he that receiveth it.”

He first ascertained that my Christian name was William, and then gave me the name of “James.” All the names are either John, Peter, James, David, Solomon, Abraham, or such like; there are no surnames given in the “Endowment House.” This new name must never be divulged only to St. Peter. (Dear reader, don’t tell him I told you or I shall “catch it.” It’s between you and I, you know). ‘

At this juncture I was introduced to the “Angel Gabriel.” I shook hands cordially with his Angelic Majesty, but being unaccustomed to meeting angels I was somewhat embarrassed, and knew not what to say; however, I summoned up courage to remark, “happy to meet you Mr. Gabriel, its a fine day ai’nt it,” forgetting that angels usually live so far above the clouds that they are unaffected by atmospheric influences.

I also ventured to say that I had expected to have heard him blow his trumpet before having the pleasure of his acquaintance. He smiled, and this relieved me, for I had expected to find angels very grave and solemn, but here was an angel that could actually laugh. I began to feel at home with him, and thinking that he knew something about future and eternal affairs, I proceeded “to draw him out,” and gained considerable information in regard to the resurrection and other matters, for at this point of the proceedings we, who had been washed and oiled, had to wait while the rest of the men and women received similar treatment, for be it remembered that all sin must be washed away from the candidates in the manner described, and the Holy Oil must be applied to each person before we are considered fit to associate with the ” Angels ” and the “Gods,” to whom we are introduced afterward.

The women undergo the same process as the men, only that it takes a little extra effort to extract sin from a woman, she being so full of the Devil; and possessed of very many devils, it takes some scrubbing and washing to thoroughly cleanse a woman, judging from the splashing and splurging-the giggling and chattering-it seemed the women were highly delighted at the way and manner in which they were getting rid of their sins. Women also receive a new name. Sarah being a pet name, whose daughters they are so long as they consent to give their lords a concubine, and obey their Abrahams as Sarah of old did. The women’s new names are taken from those of the women of Scripture. This difference is observed in regard to the new name of the man and that of the woman-while the former reveals his name to no one but Peter.

The latter must reveal hers to her husband. I asked the “Angel Gabriel” why this difference? and received from him this choice piece of theology. “You see” said the “Angel,” “Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression; she gave way to the Devil in Eden when she had no business to, and then she coaxed and wheedled around ‘ her old man Adam, until he yielded to her. He did not yield to Satan only inasmuch as the Devil was in Eve. Now the woman having given way to Satan, it will never do to entrust her with Salvation, for she would give it over to the Devil in five minutes; the husband holds the wife’s Salvation, and has power to raise her up at the resurrection.”

Interrupting, I asked what became of the spinsters and old maids? “Gabriel “laughed heartily this time, and said, “When they die their spirits are shoved into prison with the spirits of all the old bachelors, and that’s hell enough for both parties; there the Gospel of Matrimony is preached unto them and if they get over their prejudice and join in wedlock, they are let out of jail and go straight into glory.” Here the ” Angel ” paused, then said “let me see we had got so far as the resurrection; now don’t you see that it is very important that a man should have the power to resurrect his own wives. It will not be as you have supposed, that I shall toot my horn and wake ’em up, oh no 1: it’s not my business to wake up the women. At the resurrection I shall only call forth the men; for instance, take your own case, supposing you marry forty wives, perhaps several of them will have perplexed or bothered you so much in this life that you won’t want to be troubled by them in the next world; no one would know better than yourself who to resurrect out of the lot. It will be my duty to call you up, there you will stand at the graves of your forty wives and you will then call forth those you wish. The remainder will sleep on in their graves, and never see the light of eternity. Not one woman’s name is found in the Book of Life.”

Hell on Earth, Part 2

This entry is part 18 of 50 in the series 2011A

We arrived in the Mormon capital, Salt Lake City, August, 1868, having traveled the last 560 miles over arid plains and rocky mountains by wagon. Here I was in “Zion, the perfection of beauty,” beautiful for situation on the sides of the north. I certainly must say I found Salt Lake City a beautiful place “where every prospect pleases and only man is vile.”

I had thought to have found these so-called saints approaching something near perfection, but alas, found that human nature is human nature even in Zion. The first thing that attracted my attention on arrival was two “saints” drunk-the one trying to help the other home, and both swearing outrageously. On going up to them to ascertain if they were really saints, the answer I got was “Why, certainly.” I also found on enquiry that the Church manufactured a villainous sort of whisky, which the saints called “Valley Tan,” a little of which will go a long way toward making a man drunk; this whisky is sold in stores over which is a sign, having thereon the “All seeing eye” and the words, “Holiness unto the Lord.”

On going further up the street I found a crowd of men discussing the suicide of a saint, which had that day taken place. I was as much surprised to find that a saint had committed suicide as that saints could get drunk. I asked what had caused him to commit this rash act, and was informed that he had married two sisters in addition to the wife he already had, and that notwithstanding, as sisters they had got along all right, yet as wives to the same man they were not a success. They used to fight as Polygamic wives will, and pull each other’s hair, and made things generally very uncomfortable for the affectionate husband, which preyed upon his mind, and finally led him to commit suicide. Poor fellow! In sympathizing with another I always put myself in his place. I thought if I had married three wives who fought and cut up as they did, I should be tempted to commit suicide also.

I was introduced to the Prophet, Brigham Young, a man about 70 years of age, a tolerably fine-looking thick set man, possessing an indomitable will, very austere, and well calculated to govern the dupes that surrounded him. Brigham Young was married. He looked every inch a married man; in fact I found him muchly married, the most married man I ever saw.

That Brigham Young was married, no one can dispute; that he was a father is clear to most minds. He, more than any man, could sing ” Tis’ nice to be a Father.” If asked how many children Brigham had, I treat it as a conundrum, and give it up; who can count the “chips off the old block,” which lay scattered all over the territory of Utah.

The illustrious parent himself seems to have forgotten (if he ever knew) the vastness of his progeny. One time when some boys were fighting in the street, Brigham undertook to chastise them. One young urchin bawled out, “say old man my dad will fix you for hitting me.” Brigham demanded to know who his father was. The boy replied “Brigham Young’s my dad, and ee’d go for you.” The boy ran off and reported the circumstances to his mother, describing the old villain,, and urged his mother to persuade dad to have his revenge out of the old cuss.

When relating this circumstance to a Mormon Elder, I asked if it were possible that there should be men in Utah that did not know their own children? The Elder assured me that he himself had children he should not know were he to meet them. At this juncture, a little girl, whose hoop had trundled into the stream from which she could not recover it, stood crying. The Elder took no notice of the little one, being, as I supposed, too much used to children’s screams. Having secured her hoop and wiped away the tears, I asked the child its name. To our surprise she gave the name of the Elder I was with, and in reply to a question from the Elder said her mother’s name was “Liz, you Bet,” and pointed to the house where she resided, thus the father and child were made known to each other.

It is a wise father in Utah that knows his own child. Brigham’s children are mostly girls, and now that they have grown into womanhood and married, Brigham declares the Devil owed him a grudge, and paid him off in son-in-law’s. In regard to Brigham’s children they are in a very tangled condition, and to cut a long story short, I will merely say they are too numerous to mention. But what is home without a family. Some have asserted that the wives of Brigham Young were more numerous than his children. One thing is certain the name of his wife is Legion. In this Brigham has loved not wisely but to many well.

The bosom of his family is somewhat extended, and one would fancy that with so many gentle loving wives to minister to his comforts and soothe his oft distracted mind, his life would be a heaven below; but with the heart-burnings, hair-pullings, and jealousies of polygamy, such is not the case; for instance, when he has a few unpleasant words with Amelia, and that fair creature sends the sewing machine crashing over the stairs after him, the feelings engendered are anything but lovely; and again when Ann Eliza sues for a divorce and alimony and shows the old man up in his true color and loosens his purse strings, it is anything but pleasant.

His wives are expensive; they always want something. In one of his sermons Brigham said “I have not a wife but would see me in hell rather than she should not have what she wanted,” and in the same sermon he threatens them all with a divorce, and says, “I will go into heaven alone, rather than have them scratching and fighting around me.”

His wives fight and scratch so among themselves, that when they get into a row he allows them to fight it out according to Hoyle, or any other style that suits them, and after the melee one may gather enough hair to stuff a mattress. The cares of married life weighed heavily on the Prophet, and hee offtimes wished he had remained single. It has been estimated that if Brigham were to undertake to kiss his wives the operation would take just six weeks to perform. I once ventured to ask the Prophet if he considered he had secured all his lost ribs, or was he yet a rib short? “Well,” said Young, “my heart is like a crowded omnibus, there is still room for another.”

I saw his mother-in-law while I was there, I can’t exactly tell how many there is of her, but it is a good deal. It strikes me that one mother-in-law is enough in one family, unless a man is over fond of excitement. One is often unbearable; imagine vast numbers afflicting one poor unfortunate man. I was once introduced to a Bishop who had married six sisters; when I asked his reason for doing so, he replied “don’t you see by marrying these six sisters there is only one mother-in-law to the batch, whereas had I married six from different families, I should have had half a dozen mother-in-laws, by this transaction I escape five rascally mother-in-laws.” [More anon on this..]

No trouble can arise on the deceased wife’s sister question. In Utah; they simply marry all the wife’s sisters at once and have done with it. Said one Mormon “What ridiculous nonsense to make the gals wait for their dead sisters’ shoes, I’ll marry the whole lot of any mother’s daughters; they are dragged up together under one parental roof, I’ll take the batch and let ’em jog along together under my roof. One dad is enough for the lot and so is one hubby. I think any gal who wants a whole man all to herself is almighty selfish and ought to go to hell.” If the mother happens to be a widow, the Mormon will marry mother and daughters, and thus become “Husband to the Widow and to the fatherless” and keep the family together, as it were_ In England a man is prohibited from marrying his wife’s sister whether the wife is living or dead: he is actually prevented from marrying his grandmother; yet we call this a land of Liberty, nice Liberty that: for no matter how badly a man wants to marry his grandmother, he is not allowed to do it. There are no such “ungodly” restrictions in Utah

I never ventured into the sleeping apartments of the Harem, but I have seen a blanket that would cover the inmates of a good sized female reformatory; this was said to be Brigham’s blanket. I have also seen a picture of a bedstead about 500 feet long, described as the bed of the Prophet, but latterly Brigham took to sleeping alone in a little chamber behind his office for quiet and safety.

I don’t blame him, poor man, he must have been bewildered. We sometimes sympathise with Poor Caudle, but then there was but one Mrs. Caudle; imagine hundreds of Mrs. C’s lecturing one poor fellow, and you will readily perceive the wisdom of the master mind of Brigham in preferring to sleep alone; it is a wonder that with such a confused state of affairs he could sleep anywhere. Brigham Young has departed; I don’t blame him; I think if I were in the position he was, I should want to depart. But his widow survives.

When I think of the Widow Young and compare her with the Young ‘Widow surely “Comparisons are odious.” She who manifested such selfishness as to become the sole and only partner of his joys and sorrows, finds-herself solitary and alone at the grave with no one to share her grief. Whereas the one who could share her husband’s affections with scores of other women, as in a sort of Joint Stock Company, finds herself only a shareholder in the grief of the concern, according to the stock held by her in this limited liability association.

It was remarked at Brigham’s funeral that no tears were shed; how could that be? Take for instance the tears of the average lone widow, and divide them among the widows of this arch polygamist, it would not amount to a tear each, and in the dry climate of Utah, should a tear have struggled to come to the front it would have evaporated ere it crossed the eyelid.

I have stood at the grave of many Mormon Polygamists when the numerous widows paid their last respects to THEIR dear departed ONE, and judging from the expression of their countenances, their feelings, if uttered would be “Our husband is gone; he is taken from a world of care and excitement, happy release, what he suffered at our hands, and tongues cannot be described. Let him RIP. (Rest In Peace.) Peace to his ashes,” and after taking a last look they move off in search of another victim.

Weller had no idea of the widows of Utah or his loathing of ” vidders ” would have been greatly intensified, The Utah widow emboldened by the doctrines of the Church becomes brazen and seldom “lets up” until she is united to some old polygamist. The faithful elders are admonished to take these widows and perform the kinsman’s part to their dead brother, thus-A, takes the widows of B. to wife, while the issue resulting from the Union belongs to and is called by the name of B. The Great Fundamental Principle of Mormonism being to “Increase and Multiply” widows past a certain period of life are “turned out to grass,’. and not allowed the happy privilege of “roping in” another “Saint.”

The Prophet was interred in the private grounds of his estate, but his grave is sadly neglected, no monument or headstone marks his last resting place. This results from leaving too many afflicted widows-what is everybody’s business is nobody’s business. When the condition of her late husband’s grave is mentioned to Mrs. Young No. 10, she replies, “well if he wants a tombstone let that proud, stuck up Susannah Young get him one, its, -as much her business as it is mine,” and when the subject is brought to the .attention of the said Susannah who is Widow Young No. 48, she retorts, ” Let Margaret Ann Young attend to it; she has known him longer than I.” And it looks as if he would never get a tombstone.

I am often asked how the practice of Polygamy works among the” Latter-day Saints.” Briefly I reply that Polygamy is about the same today as when Sarah cried, “Cast out the Bondwoman and her Son.” All first wives feel like casting out the Hagars and their offspring. To assert that a true woman can share her husband with another is a gross libel upon her nature.

I visited their Polygamic harems, but failed to find a happy one. At one place I found a little girl gathering up hair that had been made to fly during a recent fight among the affectionate wives of the harem. I asked the child what she was gathering the hair for? She replied, “to make my doll a mattress.”

I invariably found that when Polygamy came in at the door, joy and peace flew out at the window. If my readers imagine they know anything about jealousy, let me remind them that none but Solomon with his 700 wives and 300 concubines could inform the world that “Jealousy is cruel as the grave.” Outside of Polygamy Jealousy is a mere phantom. You, dear readers, are ignorant of Jealousy, and “Where ignorance is bliss ’tis folly to be wise.”

To find jealousy in its zenith go into the Mormon harems where every word and action, every crevice and key hole are avenues of that most vehement flame spoken of by the said Solomon. Polygamy is Slavery. Men barter, sell, or exchange wives with impunity. I witnessed a mule trade where a man threw in a wife and five dollars to boot, and got the mule. I find most men inquisitive to know how so many wives are supported: that they have enough to do to support one. Why not ask how slaveholders support so many slaves? The fact is, the wives are slaves; these work in the fields, the very affectionate husband sits on the fence with a whip-if they lag, he whips them like a refractory mule, in fact, he holds a mule in higher estimation than a woman for if he beats his mule to death it costs money to replace it, whereas he can get another wife without money or price at anytime, or so soon as a new batch of emigrants arrive from Europe.

One man I know well, who has twelve loving wives-fancy thirteen souls with but a single thought, thirteen hearts that beat as one. He takes contracts for sheep shearing, and loading up his dozen wives in a waggon, each armed with a pair of sheep shears, he drives them to the field of operation-there, like a nigger driver, he sees that they perform their work faithfully. When sheep shearing is over the haying time has come, then follows the grain harvest, and when out-door labour is over, the spinning jenny and loom are kept busy by the same wives.

One man has a ranch and dairy, which the wives attend to while he sits in the shade in summer, and toasts his shins by the fire in winter-the wives, of course, hauling in the wood-and woe to the wife who dares sell a pound of butter, a chicken, or egg. His first wife, a poor old cripple, fancied a cup of tea-a luxury denied the women of Utah. It would never do to have all these women tea-drinking. It would ruin any man, it costs too much: water is cheaper. This poor old wife, when her lord was absent, exchanged a few eggs for the wherewith to make the coveted beverage. Her hubby found it out; by the way they find out everything. The reigning favourite wife watches the other wives, and is a perfect tell tale. When he found that his first wife had committed the enormous crime of drinking tea, he dragged her to the stream, plunged her under water, and kept ducking her till she promised never to repeat the offence. I could enumerate scenes of this kind, but there are other features of Polygamy.,

A Bishop married a young girl while his first wife was on her deathbed. One blunt old lady remarked, “it is rather out of place.” The kind-hearted husband replied, “It’s _rather rough on Jane that she can’t join us, but we could not have a spree right after a funeral, so we thought we’d have the wedding before Jane died.” What a festive occasion: one wife dying, another being duly installed. The poor first wife died in agony, crying “As eternity of happiness cannot recompense me for this torture, but the husband of her youth and father of her children was not present either at the death or burial – he was off with his young bride.

One grief-stricken wife, finding her husband determined to take another wife, implored him not to, saying:  we have been so happy together; I shall die if you take another.” Hear the response of the affectionate husband: “Die then! Hundreds of better women than you are in their graves, who died from the same cause.” Accursed Polygamy, when the sorrows of a woman become too great to bear, she is roughly told to join hundreds of others who have died from its blighting and withering effects.

I will now give another feature of Polygamy. One woman had several sons before her husband took another wife; these are all good young men, but the one born after his father took a second wife was a desperado whose hands were fearfully stained with blood, and was finally lynched for a most diabolical murder. When the poor mother heard the fate of her son, she exclaimed “Poor boy, it’s not his fault, its the accursed Polygamy; for months before that boy was born I wanted to kill his father’s second wife. Murder, and nothing but murder was in my heart all the time; that poor boy has paid the penalty of his father’s crime and mother’s sorrow.” Then raising her withered and trembling hand she cursed Polygamy as only an injured wife and bereft mother could. The anathemas, as I have heard them in Utah’s harem’s, make one shudder; not only do the women curse it, but the offspring, as they verge into maturity, curse the system which made them what they really are, illegitimates; and yet the system continues.

In 1876, while Americans celebrated the glorious achievements of one hundred years of liberty and progress, one thousand polygamic marriages took place in Utah. America should at once put a stop to this degrading evil of Polygamy, or cease boasting of her advancement and civilization.

Hell on Earth, Part 1

This entry is part 17 of 50 in the series 2011A

Mormon history is quite obscure between 1850-1900.  It is true that quite a few journals exist but members were encouraged to write about faith promoting positive things.  Most of the negative writings or observations during that period came from people who did not live among the Saints.

I’ve been researching that period and have indeed discovered that all was not well in Zion.  By some accounts Mormonism had turned into a tyranny and plural; marriage was used as a means to enslave much of the female population.

It appears to me that dark forces gained a foothold among the gathered Saints and they were headed toward becoming more like the Taliban than Zion.  I was saddened by my discoveries because many of the founding teachings of Mormonism are indeed enlightening and the gathering principle itself is essential to fulfill divine purpose.

I used to think it a sad thing that the government stepped in and forced the church into compliance and essentially put a stop to the literal gathering.  And indeed it would have been sad if the church was on the path of love and light.  But it appears that if the church had succeeded in establishing a physical kingdom a tyranny would have resulted rather than an enlightened free state.

I am posting an edited version of William Jarman’s book about his experiences living among the LDS for 12 years during the height of the polygamous period.

Yes, the guy sounds like a bitter anti Mormon who may exaggerate at times, but if you or I went through what he did then we would also have a chip on our shoulders.

While I am sure Jarman’s work has bias in it I believe the eyewitness accounts he gives to be essentially true.  I have read everything I can find about this period and much of his story is backed up by other sources.

That said, here is the first installment of my edited version of his book which is now in public domain.  I’ve eliminated some of his rambling and discourses on doctrine and am concentrating on giving out his actual story.  As far as I know this is the first time the digital text has been made available online – though Google does have a non digital scanned version.

Part One

U.S.A. Uncle Sam’s Abscess,

Or Hell Upon Earth

For

U.S. (Uncle Sam)

By William Jarman

Knight of the Grand Legion of North America,

WHO SUFFERED TWELVE YEARS IN

THE MORMON HELL ON EARTH;

AS ONE OF THE

“VIRGINS WITHOUT GUILE

AND

A PRIEST AFTER THE ORDER OF MELCHIZEDEK:

WHERE POLYGAMY, INCEST, AND MURDER ARE TAUGHT AND PRACTISED AS RELIGION UNDER THE “ALL SEEING EYE,” AND THE SIGN ?HOLINESS UNTO TH.E LORD.”

Copyright secured in both Hemispheres.

Exeter: England, 1884.

Printed At H. Leduc’s Steam Printing Works, Exeter, England.

ENTERED, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1884,

BY Wm. JARMAN,

In the Office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington and at Stationer’s Hall, London.

PREFACE.

This history of American Polygamy and Crime reviews Mormon Doctrine and Practice from the time Joseph Smith died and Brigham Young became its Notorious Leader, up to date. I deal with “Uncle Sam’s Abscess” as it exists in the present age: for its inception, rise and progress years ago,. has been amply dealt with by others, and did it but trouble Uncle Sam, this, child of care would never impose this book upon long-suffering Britishers. But knowing it takes British blood, bone, and sinew to nourish it, and increase its. growth: and having myself been drawn into the vortex of this filthy corruption-this Hell upon Earth, and narrowly escaped, it becomes my duty to. warn my fellow citizens, and try to prevent them being allured into the Great Basin of crime, misery and woe. For after all that has been said and written about this AMERICAN HELL, the half has’ never been told. Today the world knows but little of the goings on in THE YANKEE SODOM. I know it all, and so far as. these pages allow, tell what I know of the Utah Latter-day Devils; who preach and practice as religion all the crime of the Decalogue. Their Missionaries, come here with an open Bible, and seduce Good Christian People by tens of thousands, and drag them to a far worse Sodom than existed anciently. These Devilish Wolves come in the very best Sheep’s Clothing, and appear as. the Devil himself often does, “As an Angel of Light.”

When the Devil’s abroad the Devil a Saint will be,

When the Devil’s at home, the Devil a Saint is he.

(Hudibras slightly altered.)

They come prepared “to deceive the very Elect,” and are quite successful. The Sacred Garb, they assume cover their nefarious schemes, and hellish aims, and not until we arrive in America’s “Sodom,” are we aware of their filthy and awfully wicked practices. There the Bible is cast aside to give place to other books, and even newspapers. Christ is Blasphemed; they say “He was a jolly good fellow, had lots of wives, and squalling brats.”

It shocks one trained a. Christian to hear them Blaspheme Jehovah, Christ, and all sacred subjects. In Great Britain, Mormon Missionaries, to seduce Christians, preach Christianity far better than its own Ministers can. For Mormons belong to the Devil, serve him, and get his aid: Mormons and Devils know Scripture well, can quote it to suit exactly, and beat any Christian D. D. who is in opposition to the Devil. Marvel not then, that I a Church member was entrapped. I wonder they do not catch every Christian by their glib talk. They nab scarce any but Christians, quite nine-tenths of their converts are from the Churches of Christendom. My object in giving this to the world is to arouse Pastor and People, and warn them against those shrewd Yankee tricksters, who know how to use “soft soap.”

I am ashamed to think the Government allows her people to be ” religiously ” swindled under false pretences, and not pass laws to prevent it. I am also pained to find so much spent on the Clergy and Ministers of all denominations, while they allow their flocks to be taken by these Mormon Wolves, without even a word of caution. I would give anything to have been cautioned by my Minister and spared this curse of my life.

It’s no use crying over spilt milk; having been drawn into the evil, good may result by my telling what I know of it. In this work I give the true character of Utah’s Abominations, whose Missionaries compass Sea and Land to make one proselyte. I aim to guard the innocent, and show the licentious and wicked their Paradise-where a life of Sin and Shame is Sanctified and Relished. All determined to lead a vicious life should leave their country for their country’s good, and Emigrate at once to Utah. There they honor you, and you get the best positions for what you’d get put in jail for here! So don’t stay here, pack up your duds, take the first steamer and be off to this Hell upon Earth. We can well spare you, and much rather have your room than your company. In Utah you will be a “Hail fellow well met,” and have a jolly time. If you have a craving for Drink, Lust, or Murder, go to Utah! Your keenest appetite will there be fully satisfied, and your valuable services command a premium. A word to the wise is sufficient-to . Christians I say, Beware! Beware! Beware!

I give a brief account of my chequered life in the first chapter, which may interest some readers. Then I portray “Uncle Sam’s Abscess,” and I have no doubt by the time the reader gets through, he will say with me, “It is a perfect “Hell upon Earth.” I have only to add just this

There is on Earth a Hell, I know, for I’ve been there,

But I got out, the tale to tell, and warn you of the snare.

Wolves in sheeps’ clothes, cry “Heaven Below! “

List not to these your foes, or else, too late, you’ll sure to know

Sorrow, and crime, and woes.

 

It’s in America, this Hell on Earth is found,

The situation’s quite O. K., but Liberty is bound,

Its Bosses prate, “Break every law!

“Take more than one dear mate! ” This brings a vast amount

More than I can relate.

 

Suffice to say, just here, ’tis Hell on Earth to all,

Who for more wives than one doth care, or list to Mormon call”

Lo Christ is there! ” What downright lying!

It’s but a fearful snare. For Lust and Murder there they’re plying,

Beware! Beware! Beware!

Done at Ye Ancient and Ye Honourable Citie of Exeter on this Ye First Day of April, Anno Domini, 1884, and between Ye 47th and Ye 48th Year or Ye Reign on this sad vale of tears of Ye trulie unfortunate,

WILLIAM JARMAN..

58, Parr Street, Exeter, Devon, England.

How BRITISH CHRISTIANS ARE “SUCKED IN “-LED INTO SODOM I GOT “ROPED IN “-WHAT I SAW AND HEARD IN HELL.

Mormon Missionaries sneak around Great Britain like Three Card tricksters and gamblers do, seeking to entrap unwary Christians, and all whom they may devour. Trained by the Devil ere they land at Liverpool, they are up to every trick and know all the moves on the board. Their Yankee Tricks nab the English, Scotch, and Welsh Christians by thousands upon thousands. Mormon Baptisms attract the Baptists and make them easy prey. Universal Salvation and “The final perseverance of the Saints” as preached by Mormons, catch the Methodists; Calvinists get in ecstasy over the beautiful gathering of the “Mormon Elect; ” while Scotch and English Presbyterians, Established Church members, Congregationalists, Brethren, Quakers. Bible Christians, and all classes of Christians, but Catholics lay hold on the hope set before them in the “Mormon Gospel: ” simply because forsooth the Devil trains the Missionary how to set the bait to suit any particular creed or dogma.

He becomes “All things to all men,” especially to Girls from 10 to 15, and young women between 15 and 35 years old; the younger, the more tender the sympathy. “The Mormons” have a particular fondness for the fair sex provided they are not old: “The younger widows refuse,” is not in the Mormon Bible. They regard old maids as lacking in spiritual efficiency, ladies over the age of 35 and unmarried, seldom embrace Mormonism in any shape or form. If married they are considered as being “up to snuff;” and the Mormon Priest has a peculiar way of reaching them: they “creep into houses” when the husband is not at home and “lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, for of this sort are they.”

Each has concubines 7000 miles away, but too far for fellow sympathy here, and though their brothels are “crowded like an omnibus there’s room for more,” and they come here for the very purpose of securing prostitutes for their hellish dens of infamy in Utah. So they creep in as aforesaid, do their “level best” to seduce other men’s wives and daughters, lead them away to their Seraglios, or swop them off for others with some Apostle or Bishop who prefers a change.

These Libertines, and habitual Lechers, are thrown upon the British public for three years, and we are expected to believe that during that time they live a life of’ Celibacy. You can believe it if you like; I don’t; nor shall I, until fish live without water. Mormon fish are not long out of water in England, if at all: there is so much water around our little Island.

A “Good Saint “- that is a man who can marry ‘and whip a lot of wives – being ordered on a Mission to England, I knowing his proclivities so well, said to him, “You will take a few of your wives along won’t you, as you cannot well get on without them? He replied, “I’m no such d-fool as to carry coal to Newcastle I can get all I want in England: there’s plenty there!” Knowing his extra-ordinary wants in that direction I pitied the poor victims he might happen to come across. As I have a special chapter dealing with Missionaries and their nice goings on, I say no more here on that point.

The Mormon Elder is equal to every emergency. If a girl’s parents object to her going to Utah, she is quietly put on board ship and sent off to Utah’s Brothels to become a Prostitute. Does the kind Husband and Father object to have his wife made a ” Saintess “? He comes home some night, finds that his bosom’s partner has ransacked the house, stolen the valuables, gone off with the children together with the old lecherous Priest to Utah, there to become his fifth tenth, or fiftieth wife While at the same time ‘ the Stepfather also becomes the husband of all her daughters over twelve years, and of the others when they attain that age. Should the “Dear Husband ” embrace Mormonism, and the wife refuse to embrace it, or him, unless he renounces the vile thing, the Mormon Devil to encourage the deluded victim quotes this Scripture to him, “Every one that forsaketh father, or mother, OR WIFE, or children, for the Gospel’s sake, shall receive AN HUNDRED-FOLD now in this time, and shall inherit everlasting life.”

Now says the Mormon Priest, “If you believe the Bible you must leave wife and children for the Gospel’s sake: no wife should hinder a man’s salvation; sell out, leave wife and children (males) on the Parish, and go to Zion: and I promise you in the name of Israel’s God, an hundred-fold of wives and children in this life, and in the world to come, life everlasting. You shall enjoy the blessings of Abraham, Isaac, David and Solomon, for God who changeth not hath given Apostles, Prophets, Evangelists, Pastors, and some Teachers the right to enter Polygamy as anciently; to raise up a righteous seed, for the work of the ministry and the perfecting of the saints.

If thou art faithful in a few things’ and will forsake thy wife and little ones as God commands, he will make thee ruler over many things (many wives), if He sees thee worthy, as was David and Solomon, his son. Take up thy Cross, follow Christ, and all will be well with thee for time and in Eternity.”

A decent man who scruples to become prostituted is tenderly informed that God is faithful, and He will not suffer him to be tempted above what he is able to bear. Polygamy is very rarely practiced; it’s only occasionally, when the Lord finds a worthy Solomon that the thing is permitted at all.” In short, God is at the helm, and, according to Mormon teaching, steering all the Utah filthy business.

I have seen hundreds of thousands who have thus left the various Churches of Christendom, and gone to Utah’s Hell; the Catholic Church only being exempt. Catholics are perfectly satisfied with their Priests; view Mormonism as an Opposition Priesthood, and resist its (Mormon) Priests. Hence Mormon Missionaries fail to convert the Irish. [” True ’tis a pity, pity, ’tis, ’tis true; “] I must tell the truth, and in my bungling way put it in the best shape I can.

I traveled over a thousand miles of Mormon Territory; spent twelve years in their Cities, Towns, and Settlements, and found but three Irish; two from Australia, the other a renegade Jesuit, who, had he remained in his Native Country, would have kept as many mistresses as he now does concubines in Utah. He likes it, has a jolly time, does the thing “quite up to Dick,” says, “the work in which he is engaged is true, and the Kingdom is the O. K. thing.” But oh! I saw thousands of Christians from English, Scotch, and Welsh Churches, bitterly lamenting the sorrow and crime of that Hell upon Earth; but before relating it I must tell further how Mormon Missionaries work, and how I got into the trap.

Though they single out victims and depend much on fireside chat, yet their unholy zeal fires ’em up at times to come out boldly, and try to take a town by storm. London is even now being flooded with hand bills in which these devils “cheek it out,” and call themselves “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints:”

Here is a verbatim et literatim copy, but recently sent me:-

WHICH IS RIGHT?

There is ONE Body (Church), ONE Spirit, ONE Lord, ONE Faith, ONE Baptism.”-Eph. iv.., 4-6

THEREFORE OF THE 666 DIFFERENT RELIGIONS OF THE DAY 665 ARE WRONG AND BUT ONE IS RIGHT.

WHICH IS RIGHT?

That Church which corresponds in all respects to the Church established by Christ and His Apostles, teaching FAITH, REPENTANCE, BAPTISM by immersion for the remission of sins, THE LAYING ON OF HANDS for the gift of the HOLY GHOST with signs following the believer; and which has for its officers, APOSTLES, PROPHETS, EVANGELISTS, PASTORS, TEACHERS, aids, governments, &c., all of whom are CALLED and AUTHORIZED of God; as were these officers in the early primitive Church.

THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS is the only Church which corresponds to this perfect pattern, and consequently is the only ONE by which mankind can BE SAVED IN THE KINGDOM OF GOD.

Jesus says-John v. 39-” Search the Scriptures, for in them ye think ye have eternal life. Therefore we earnestly request all lovers of truth to examine the following passages:-
>
FAITH-Heb. xi. 6 and I; James ii. 14 to 26.

REPENTANCE-Luke xiii., 3 and 5; Eze. xviii., 30; Acts xvit., 30.

BAPTISM BY IMMERSION-Matt iii.; Mark xvi., beg. 15; Acts ii., 37 to 41; John iii. 5 and 23; Rom. vi., beg. 3.

HOLY GHOST, HOW CONFERRED, &C.-Acts viii., 17; 1 Cor. xii.; Acts xix.; Matt. iii., ii; i Cor. xvi., 26; Acts ii., 3, 4, and 17.

OFFICERS-Eph. iii., 5; ii., 20; iv., II, 12, and 13; Luke vi., beg. 13.

AUTHORITY-Rom. x’, 14 and 15; John xiii., zo; John xvii., 18; Heb. v., 4; Ex. iv., beg. 15; i Sam. xiv., beg. 8; 2 Chron. xxvi., beg. 16; Acts xiii, beg. 2; yohn vii., 17; Gal, 1., 8.

OUR MEETINGS ARE HELD AS FOLLOWS:-

NORTH LONDON BRANCH.-42, Penton Street, Pentomille, on Sunday at 2.30 and 6.30 p.m., and on Thursday at 8 p.m.

WHITECHAPEL BRANCH at Orson’s Assembly Rooms, 23, New Road, Commercial Road, on Sunday at 2.30 and 6.30 p.m.

LAMBETH BRANCH at Kennington Hall, Upper Kennington Lane (near Licensed Victuallers’ School), on Sunday at 2.30 and 6.30 p.m.

Also at 59, Berthon Street, Church Street, Deptford, at 8 p.m., every Tuesday.

THE PUBLIC ARE CORDIALLY INVITED. ALL SEATS FREE.

JOSEPH A. WEST,

[Thanks for the cordial invite, I shall attend when I visit my native city.)

This is followed with another showing but a few of their very many doctrines. You will notice that Polygamy, their great fundamental doctrine is left out in the cold in both. I give the hand bill as it is:-

” ARTICLES OF FAITH, OF THE

CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS.

(Lists LDS articles of Faith and scriptural references)

[The beforegoing handbill was being circulated in Plymouth also, before my recent visit there, and mark-there is nothing said about Polygamy! the pivot upon which the whole thing turns].

They sell a dwarf pamphlet for one penny, the size of circulars usually given away by travelling shows. On the front is printed in type exactly like this:-

” THE LATTER-DAY SAINTS’ MILLENNIAL STAR’

BUT WE DESIRE TO HEAR OF THEE WHAT THOU THINKEST: FOR AS CONCERNING THIS SECT, WE KNOW THAT IT IS EVERYWHERE SPOKEN

AGAINST.-Acts xxviii., 22.

How beautiful Upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth peace: that bringeth good tidings of good, that publisheth salvation; that saith unto Zion, ” Thy God reigneth

LIVERPOOL:

EDITED & PUBLISHED BY JOHN HENRY SMITH,

FOR SALE AT THE LATTER-BAY SAINTS’ BOOK DEPOT, 19, SOUTHERLAND STREET, PIMLICO, S.W.”

This “Bright and Morning Star,” given me recently by a Devonport Mormon, thus devotes its “valuable space. “We have heard a number of times lately of a vile fellow by the name of William Jarman, who, has been about the South of England lecturing against the Mormons, and visiting the Saints wherever he could learn of any living in that region for the purpose of poisoning their minds against THE PRINCIPLES they had EMBRACED. Then follows a perfect tirade of abuse to which I shall devote my valuable space, and VERY KIND REGARDS in a special chapter, when I have more fully shown “THE PRINCIPLES EMBRACED.” Though I must not picture all that a Mormon Embraces, I will do justice to it so far as the law allows. I just notice the scurrilous article to prove by Mormon Authority that what I say in the preface is true. I’ve hurt ’em, “let the galled jade wince.” So long as they remain. here, and the breath of life remains in me, they will hear still more and more of this “vile fellow.”

The Mormons would feel indebted to me for freely advertising this small fraction of their creed, did I but stop at that. But having sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, I must tell it all. Why do they not preach it all in England as they do in Utah? Echo answers why? There they proclaim that a man must have from two up to 500 wives according to his several abilities and his several-well call it ” Etcetras,” or he cannot be saved, and exalted among the gods; that any one who leaves the Mormon Church- MUST HAVE HIS THROAT CUT or he will be everlastingly damned; that Christ is one of their class-a full fledged Polygamist; that he married Mary Magdalen, Martha and Mary, and a host of women over around Judea when he was there, and begat a crowd of children that eclipse many of the big Utah families-as an old Mormon Priest once, when speaking of Jesus, said:-“

He was on it you bet, he was as fond of the women as any       son of a ____here, and lor’ didn’t he have a ____ lot of squalling, ragged _____ brats calling him Dad! Of course he did, or how by _____ could he’ See his Seed,’ and prolong his days and the pleasure of the Lord prosper in his hands?”

I heard preached in Utah Tabernacle that Jehovah keeps a far bigger Harem than Solomon did: he had only 1000 wives and concubines, whereas Jehovah has Millions. Adam, they preach, is the God of this Planet, and the reigning Mormon Prophet is the God of this generation. To disobey him, or fail to carry out his edict, is punishable by death. These and similar doctrines, I heard preached in Utah. Now if Mormon Elders would preach like that in Great Britain, I could trust the British Christian Public, for I know they would gain but few converts, if any, from among us. But here they do I not so preach. In England, Scotland, and Wales, they preach what they call “The sincere milk of the word-first principles,” and it certainly is cooked up to suit the palate of the most fastidious Christian.

When the ” Elder ” first came to my house at Exeter, he quietly closed the door, raised both his hands, then with an expression of countenance such as we expect to see only on the Saviour himself, with Angelic voice exclaimed, “Peace be to this house!” This astonished me, my wife, and another Christian then present. (This was shortly after my asylum episode, when I had determined, as far as I could, to lead a godly, sober, and religious life.)

When we expressed our astonishment, he said, “I presume you are Christians, and understand this book,” taking from his pocket a nicely bound Bible. Replying in the affirmative, he at once said, “Then I will read the words of our blessed Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. ‘Behold I send you forth as lambs among wolves.’ (He should have transposed the last three words, and read, wolves among lambs.) Carry neither purse nor scrip, and into whatsoever house Ye enter, first say Peace be ‘to this house.’ If the son of peace be there, your peace shall rest upon it, if not, it shall turn to you again. And in the same house remain, eating and drinking such things as they give; for the labourer is worthy of his hire. Go not from house to house. Luke, 10th chapter, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th verses.”

He closed the Book, sat down, and seemed to feel at home. Dinner was ready, and fancying he rather emphasised the words, “If the son of peace be there, in the same house remain, eating and drinking such things as they give; ” and being anxious to know if the son of peace was in my house, for if not this chap was not going to stop, I rang the bell for dinner, and said “My Friend, you will stay and take dinner with us.”

But how can I describe my feelings when this man of God (the Devil) replied, “I have meat to eat the world knows not of; my meat is to do the will of him that sent me.” Oh! how I had inwardly to chide myself for being so wicked as to fancy that emphasis was “put on.’ I knew it was my duty “to entertain strangers; for thereby some have entertained angels unawares,” and thought, am I in an angel’s presence? does my house now shelter an angel and I not know it? I looked at the man-he had on good Sheep’s wool, dyed in the wool, real West of England Wool dyed Black Broadcloth, like that made formerly in Devonshire.

I could not penetrate his sheep’s clothing or I should have seen that inwardly he was double dyed in sin, as I afterwards found his sins were not only ” scarlet and crimson,” but as black as a blind Ethiopian in a dark cellar at midnight, just before new moon, looking for a coal-black colour-blind torn cat. If any one can give a better definition of real blackness, and will forward it to W. Jarman, 58, Parr Street, Exeter, Devon, England, he will gladly pay for it to insert in future editions. Please send the bill with it. Draw it mild, don’t stick it on; remember I give a lot for a little money.

In brief, things went on all right, for the ” Elder ” did nothing but quote Scripture, till in answer to my question he said, “He (the Elder) was a Latter-Day Saint: ” my wife, who knew a little of the Mormons, charged him with believing in and practising Polygamy as part of their religion. Seeing she knew something about it he did not deny it, but said “Polygamy is very rarely followed; the Prophet Brigham, and one or two others practise it because God I revealed to them that they must do so. But Mrs. Jarman it is not essential to salvation, as you seem to think, that men must become Polygamists. It is very different. Even supposing the Lord revealed to the Prophet that Bro. Jarman should take another wife. Before he can do so, you must be consulted and give your consent. If you refuse to consent that ends the matter, and your husband cannot become a Polygamist. It could not be otherwise, dear sister, or else see what sorrow and trouble would result.”

This settled the affair with my wife, as she said “I should never be such a fool as to consent to my husband marrying another wife so long as I live, so there will never be any Polygamy in our family.” “That’s so, of course there won’t, if you object Sister Jarman,” replied the Mormon Missionary. “And I certainly should object, said Mrs. J. “And you certainly can,’ answered the Mormon wolf,. and added, “It’s no use talking upon that point for that’s settled.”

Polygamy, the only objection then known, having been thus disposed of, – the way was clear. This Mormon Missionary baptized us into the Mormon Church, and in two weeks thereafter we were on board the steamer on our way to Zion, only just in time to save our bacon; for “God was about to pour out his judgments on Great Britain, and was gathering out his Elect.” They spin the same yarn to-day: God is always just about to do it, but somehow He fails. to verify the Mormon Missionaries’ predictions.

Again, the Mormon Missionary pictured the beauties of Zion where God was gathering His people. There everyone we met was a brother (or a sister) and a friend. There only “one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of us all” prevailed. All worshipped together in One big Tabernacle. Said the “Elder,” ” Only fancy, suppose all the people of Exeter were Christians, and all of one faith, and every man you met here was a brother and a friend? “

Dear Reader, please suppose the same of your own City, Town, or Village, and you will think as I did-it must be like a Heaven below. Besides, silks which I was. foolishly selling here at 2s. per yard would fetch 12s. 6d. a yard in Salt Lake City, and all my drapery goods would be similarly enhanced in value if transported to Utah. Again I could have 160 acres of land for nothing, and another 160 acres at 5s. per acre, and have three years in which to pay for it; thus my 320 acres of land would only cost on the average 2s. 6d. per acre, and that not to be paid for until the expiration of three years, so as to give me time to raise-enough off my farm to pay for the land.

With such inducements, coupled with the religious part of this programme, is it any wonder that Mormon Missionaries entrap the unwary? Is it any wonder that so many, especially of the poorer classes of British people are caught, and begin to sing-

“To the West, to the west, to the land of the free,

Where the mighty Missouri rolls down to the sea,

Where a man is a man if he’s willing to toil,

And the poorest may reap of the fruits of the soil.”

And are not satisfied until they get there. Thousands are being thus caught today.

We sailed from England in the summer of 1866. Arriving in New York we found the Indians were causing great trouble out West; it was unsafe to cross the plains. We accordingly had to stop over until the next summer. Large companies of ” saints ” were then expected to gather to “Zion.” I accepted a situation in Whitney and Myers’ Dry Good Store (Drapery Establishment), Albany, New York. The Indians were so troublesome the following summer there was no emigration of British Saints to Utah; consequently I remained with the same firm until July, 1868, when the first company from England crossed the plains. It was then I left my good situation, and with my family and the British saints set out on the weary pilgrimage to Zion.

To describe that journey is impossible here; but, in passing, I must say, the Missionaries, who had been three years in England, seemed to have special regard for the Female Lambs of the flock, and were I to tell what I saw during that six weeks’ journey over the plains, camping out as we had to, night after night, and sleeping in wagons, under wagons, under trees, bushes, or any shelter we could find: I say, were I to tell all I then saw and heard this book could not be sent by mail, while I myself would be sent to jail. If I protested in any way I was kindly informed that I had better mind my own business, or I should be put where the dogs could not bite me. Afterwards at a Bishop’s meeting one of the Missionaries publicly said, “I should have been murdered on the plains but for him, that I found fault with everything, and the ” Saints ” wanted to kill me there and then. I told them the reason I found fault with everything was because everything demanded it. But I must not dwell on this.

Copyright by J J Dewey

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The Polygamy Question

This entry is part 16 of 50 in the series 2011A

A reader writes:
There is only one thing that has bothered me so far and that is your explanation on Joseph Smith and polygamy? It sounds like you completely believe he was (and is) a prophet but this explanation you give to explain polygamy just is not sitting well with me at all … I do believe in Joseph being a prophet and as such believe in the doctrine of polygamy. How can you believe a man was a prophet and not believe in a vital doctrine that he taught?

JJ
I think that the LDS have a wrong view of prophets. Not every word they teach is God breathed or the black and white truth. For instance, Joseph’s revelation on selling the copyright to the Book of Mormon turned out to be completely untrue.

Even Jesus said the temple would be destroyed so not one stone would be left upon another, but there still exists a wailing wall.

To follow any flesh and blood man without question is to receive the mark of the beast. The only infallible authority comes from the Spirit within. If you want to know the truth behind polygamy or any other doctrine you must run it by your own soul be open to all things as a little child. I have done this and get no go-head to practice polygamy but do not condemn anyone who does through their own free will.

I believe Joseph saw the beginnings of The Molecular Relationship (see my book on this) but what he received was misinterpreted.

It is difficult to sort out all that happened with polygamy. It is interesting that there is not proof that Joseph fathered even one child through his dozens of wives. So far all DNA testing has shown that kids thought to be descended from him are not.
Here’s an interesting book you might want to check out:

http://restorationbookstore.org/jsfp-index.htm

Reader:
So what is for your feeling as to why most of the ancient prophets practiced polygamy? … Is your feeling that they all practiced it out of free will? From what I have read they thought that they would receive greater blessings and rewards which before I had just thought of that as more posterity but when you have 1,000 or more lives how much more posterity do you need, right?

JJ
Not only did the ancient prophets practice polygamy but just about all the ancient peoples did. Many pharaohs, kings, tribal leaders, religious leaders practiced it. Greece and Rome were two empires that only practiced it during part of their histories. Herod of New testament fame had nine wives.

Mohamed had numerous wives and that tradition is still carried on among the wealthy Moslems today. Would you like to be a plural wife of a Taliban leader? I don’t think so.

Just about anyone who had the means to support more than one wife was polygamous in most cultures. Polygamy was much more prevalent among the rich and powerful than the common people for it was all an average guy could do to support one wife and the kids – and often this was a terrible struggle.

This also worked in reverse. Many powerful women in the ancient world had more than one lover, but weren’t usually officially married to them.

So basically polygamy thrived in the ancient world and powerful men took numerous wives because they could. Powerful men also took many slaves. Why? Because they could. Interestingly, neither slavery or polygamy were condemned in the Bible. That doesn’t make either of them right. It just tells us that the consciousness of the people in that age was not prepared to change their age old traditions.

It is interesting that the early Mormons practiced polygamy yet the practice was condemned in the Book of Mormon, the foundation book of Mormonism.

Jacob 1:15 And now it came to pass that the people of Nephi, under the reign of the second king, began to grow hard in their hearts, and indulge themselves somewhat in wicked practices, such as like unto David of old desiring many wives and concubines, and also Solomon, his son.
16 Yea, and they also began to search much gold and silver, and began to be lifted up somewhat in pride.

Jacob 2:23 But the word of God burdens me because of your grosser crimes. For behold, thus saith the Lord: This people begin to wax in iniquity; they understand not the scriptures, for they seek to excuse themselves in committing whoredoms, because of the things which were written concerning David, and Solomon his son.
24 Behold, David and Solomon truly had many wives and concubines, which thing was abominable before me, saith the Lord.
25 Wherefore, thus saith the Lord, I have led this people forth out of the land of Jerusalem, by the power of mine arm, that I might raise up unto me a righteous branch from the fruit of the loins of Joseph.
26 Wherefore, I the Lord God will not suffer that this people shall do like unto them of old.
27 Wherefore, my brethren, hear me, and hearken to the word of the Lord: For there shall not any man among you have save it be one wife; and concubines he shall have none;
28 For I, the Lord God, delight in the chastity of women. And whoredoms are an abomination before me; thus saith the Lord of Hosts.
29 Wherefore, this people shall keep my commandments, saith the Lord of Hosts, or cursed be the land for their sakes.
30 For if I will, saith the Lord of Hosts, raise up seed unto me, I will command my people; otherwise they shall hearken unto these things.
31 For behold, I, the Lord, have seen the sorrow, and heard the mourning of the daughters of my people in the land of Jerusalem, yea, and in all the lands of my people, because of the wickedness and abominations of their husbands.
32 And I will not suffer, saith the Lord of Hosts, that the cries of the fair daughters of this people, which I have led out of the land of Jerusalem, shall come up unto me against the men of my people, saith the Lord of Hosts.
33 For they shall not lead away captive the daughters of my people because of their tenderness, save I shall visit them with a sore curse, even unto destruction; for they shall not commit whoredoms, like unto them of old, saith the Lord of Hosts.
34 And now behold, my brethren, ye know that these commandments were given to our father, Lehi; wherefore, ye have known them before; and ye have come unto great condemnation; for ye have done these things which ye ought not to have done.
35 Behold, ye have done greater iniquities than the Lamanites, our brethren. Ye have broken the hearts of your tender wives, and lost the confidence of your children, because of your bad examples before them; and the sobbings of their hearts ascend up to God against you. And because of the strictness of the word of God, which cometh down against you, many hearts died, pierced with deep wounds.