Energy and Plural Relationships
Here I was attempting to teach some rebel Mormons some true principles. I am going to post several articles illustrating the problems of plural marriage for them to consider. I think the group here will find this of interest. Here is the first installment.
The Sharing Principle
To understand the sharing principle, one must look upon all persons as units of desire energy. Each person, male and female, possesses one unit each of solar plexus energy; this is the energy of desire and romantic love. The sharing of this energy must be carefully regulated by law because the wrong dispersal of it creates many of the negative emotions, feelings, and actions of mankind. Feelings of jealousy, anger, and emptiness primarily result when this law is broken and those who suffer these feelings usually have no idea as to the root cause.
Each person possesses one unit of desire energy. As long as he or she maintains a complete and full unit of this energy, he will not be afflicted with jealousy, anger or emptiness. For instance, if a person has little association with or desire for the opposite sex and is content to be alone and keep this unit of desire energy all to himself, he will maintain the one unit within him and not suffer jealousy, anger or emptiness because of relationships. When, however, he meets a potential mate he likes, sends out desire energy, and develops a romantic love toward him or her, he finds that he is no longer a complete energy unit. To be complete, the female must send to him the same amount of desire energy that he sends to her. If he does not receive it, he will feel unbalanced and will be forced, sooner or later, by his nature to take his energy back and once again become stable.
Let us take Jim, for instance who has been a happy single person for the past five years. He finds himself in a state of balance for he is sending out no romantic energy and keeps his entire unit to himself; that is until Sue crosses his path. He finds her very attractive and after a date decides to go out on a limb and send her 25 percent of his emotional unit. She is not interested and does not return it. Jim then feels out of balance for a few weeks until he gets the message that she is not interested and gradually draws it back in.
Jim may not realize it, but it is not his destiny to remain single. A short time later he meets Betty and bravely ventures forth 25 percent of his romantic energy again. This time the reaction is different. Betty is attracted to Jim and returns the energy with a risky 50 percent. Now she is the one taking the chance because she is giving 50 percent for 25 percent and if she does not draw more energy out of Jim she will feel out of balance. Jim, on the other hand, feels great. He adds 25 percent of her 50 percent to the 75 percent he already kept inside him and he now has his 100 percent stable unit with a 25 percent surplus to play with should he decide to venture forth some more energy.
The truth of the matter is Jim felt burnt by Sue and he is hesitant to let down any more walls so he keeps his sending energy at 25 percent. On the other hand, Betty is beginning to feel short-changed and unstable for she only has her 50 percent plus Jim’s 25 percent (that he is sending) or a total of 75 percent of her unit. She now reaches a point where she must draw more out of Jim or end the relationship so she tells Jim: “Either we get serious about each other or we’re history.”
That does it. Jim wakes up. He likes Betty and does not want to lose her. He increases his energy output to 75 percent and Betty responds likewise. That is enough to do the trick. They then spend the next several years sharing between 60-80 percent of their energy together, always trying for that 100 percent but never quite achieving it. They are both afraid to let down those last few walls.
Then comes a time when Sue bounces back into the picture. Now that she cannot have Jim, she finds him attractive and sends him 25 percent of her energy. Jim and Betty are both sharing around 80 percent, but Jim is flattered and returns to Sue her 25 percent plus another 15 percent for a total of 40 percent. Now he is only sending Betty 40 percent and she feels a definite void and asks Jim: “Is there another woman?”
“Of course not,” he responds. “That is your imagination.”
He says this, halfway believing it, because physically he has been completely faithful. He does not realize that he has robbed Betty of her energy.
While Jim is leaking out energy to Sue, Bob (a family friend) picks up on Betty’s need for emotional support and invites her to lunch. He’s always liked her as a friend, but never felt impressed to show her romantic attention until now, for he feels her need for energy. He accepts her 40 percent and sends her 80 percent. She responds by withdrawing the remaining 40 percent from Jim and sending an entire 80 percent to Bob. They immediately have an affair.
Now Jim is beside himself. He has a 15 percent overflow to Sue and 40 percent to Betty. 55 percent of his energy is missing. When Betty is late getting home from work that night he is suspicious. He questions her. She is defensive. He knows something is wrong and does not want to lose her. He becomes desperate. He withdraws the 25 percent from Sue (which causes her to feel strangely out of balance) and pleadingly sends an additional 10 percent from within which he has never given Betty before.
He is now sending Betty 90 percent and getting back 0 percent. He is devastated and almost loses his will to live unless he can get her back.
Since we have put our point across let us make a long story short. Jim and Betty patch up their marriage, but because of guilt and pain they are both hesitant to share more than 60 percent of the energy unit for some years to come. Jim never does realize that his “innocent” yielding to Sue by sending her some of his feelings was the indirect cause of the whole crisis to the marriage. All he can think of is: “Why did Betty do this to me?”
On the other hand, Betty is not without responsibility. She could have resisted Bob and put her energy into restoring balance, but she would have never had the temptation from Bob if Jim had not taken energy that was rightfully hers.
Let us point out the key to romantic stability which is this: Each person has one unit of romantic energy and when the sharing of that energy begins, the amount shared must be returned to maintain peace and stability.
The Unit of Romantic Energy as it Applies to Plural Marriage
If we want to know the truth of any matter, we must examine how the underlying principles apply. The principle of romantic energy applies to the plural marriage situation just as much as it applies to multiple non-marriage relationships.
If a person has two or more wives, then keeping the romantic energy stable becomes very complicated. If a man has two wives, then he cannot give a full unit of romantic energy to either one of them. If he loves them equally then each will only get 50 percent. If he has three then each will receive only one third of a unit. With four it would only be 25 percent per wife, etc.
The man, however, fares better. If he has four wives, he only needs to receive one quarter of each of their energies to have a fullness coming his direction at any given moment.
But if you talk to a polygamist, male or female, they are likely to disagree and claim they are completely fulfilled. How can this be?
A large part of it is the religious mindset. Polygamists have their minds filed with the idea that plural marriage is of the highest order and lived by God himself and thereby the means to obtain the greatest possible happiness. The thing that subconsciously goes through their minds is something like this.
- Plural marriage brings the greatest possible happiness and fulfillment.
- I am living plural marriage.
- Therefore, I must be very happy and fulfilled.
Just to give an idea of how this mindset plays out in similar mindsets let me give an example.
A while back I met an old friend of mine who I knew well when I was in the LDS church many years ago. After some small talk he started telling me how bad his life had been going and indicating that he was pretty miserable.
I replied to him that since I had been excommunicated that my personal happiness had greatly improved and maybe the teachings of the church were part of his problem.
You should have seen him turn an immediate about face in his description of his circumstances. It was as if he immediately went through those three stages I just described.
- Following the teachings of the church and the prophet brings happiness.
- I follow the prophet and the church.
- Therefore, I must be happy.
Immediately, he began assuring me that he was exceedingly happy. He was so happy because of the church that he just wanted to spread it around and share it with everyone. He was happier than I could imagine.
I looked at him a little cross-eyed and asked myself: is this the same person that I was talking to a few moments ago?
I see this same thing happen when I talk to or visit polygamists. When they just talk about their lives as people on a non religious basis they don’t seem that happy, but if the topic shifts to plural marriage as it relates to happiness they turn 180 degrees like my friend did and immediately begin expounding on how happy a plural marriage makes them.
Then if you listen to someone (females in particular) who broke off from plural marriage and whose thoughts are no longer governed by the mindset they will admit they were never happy under that system and are thrilled as punch to be released from it. Many of these women try for the rest of their lives to assist in freeing the minds and bodies of others who were trapped in that situation.
My point is that to see the truth of plural marriage or any other doctrine we must free ourselves from all programs inserted into our brains telling us how to think and look at the principles involved with the detachment of a little child. We must ask the question: Can plural marriage really bring happiness and fulfillment to females or males, or perhaps neither?
What is the truth of the matter?
(To be continued…)
Nov 29, 2007
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