I love Rick because of his honest expression of feelings.
First Rick, you have not failed at relationships. A so-called failed relationship is often a greater learning experience than a loving long lasting one. And you cannot fail at any relationships your soul will guide you toward in the future. As long as your attitude is good you can only learn and progress.
And as far as meditation is concerned, I'll bet you are as good at it as I am. I was also somewhat reluctant to proceed with this because the guided meditation is not my talent. I too have difficulty in visualizing.
On the other hand, (if I sense you correctly) I know you have a great imagination. You may have difficulty in visualizing an apple in front of you, but I'll bet you can imagine one. Apply the principle of imagination to the mediation. This can even be done as you are driving down the road in a car or have a moment at work.
And if you have difficulty with getting in the New Jerusalem then imagine yourself in the room where you are near your group brothers and sisters. It is important that all who participate settle in this room that is their own. This is the true beginning point of our journey together.
Then as we strengthen our power of imagination the power of visualization will follow and the experience we will have together will become as real as physical reality.
Actually it will be more real.
Copyright 1999 by J.J. Dewey, All Rights Reserved