1999-8-1 06:43:00
The Molecular Relationship - Chapter 14, Part 1
THE SEVEN NEEDS
(1) THE NEED FOR UNION
One can meet this need by being a true communicator as already discussed.
The need for union is the most powerful of all needs, and all others are branches of this one root need. Union is the motivating force behind all evolution. When a man and woman truly love each other they experience an overwhelming desire for union, and deep within their souls they know it is their destiny. Remember the statement: "Let us commune and be one."
All people feel a need for more union than they have at the present moment. The single person is drawn to members of the opposite polarity in the hope of union. The married person seeks to create even greater oneness with his spouse. In addition to this, couples seek harmony and closeness with friends and associates. Towns, cities, states and nations all seek to unite their populace through group spirit.
The need for union is the inner motivating purpose behind the other six needs we shall discuss. Love is only manifested as we move toward union. We can only appreciate union after we have gone through experiences together. Creative expression brings us closer to those who appreciate it. Knowledge makes us aware of the interrelation of all things. Emotional fulfillment makes us glad we have taken steps toward union and order causes us to see how all things work together in one grand united purpose.
(2) THE NEED FOR LOVE
This is probably the most frequently acknowledged need of mankind for nearly everyone is active in some degree in seeking love. Giving is therefore very important, for it is an active expression of love.
Love has been very difficult for mankind to define because there are two basic types, and people see what love is from their angle of vision and point of evolution.
The most common love is the love of the personality, or the lower self. The second, and higher form of its expression, is the love of the Soul, or the higher self. The manner in which we give and receive love is dependent on our point in spiritual evolution. If our consciousness has attained contact with our higher selves, or souls, then we can love others as souls. This is an unselfish love. If we have no contact with the higher self then we will love others as personalities. This is a more selfish and possessive love from a higher point of view and is merely a mirrored reflection of true soul love. It may be more appropriately called attachment. Generally, two people get married because they like each other's personalities and become attached to them. In this situation if there should be a personality change, then love, or attachment, would cease.
If one loves another's higher self, then a personality change would not cause the love to cease, for spiritual love is not dependent on the personality expression.
Soul love may be defined as: "A desire for union, a desire to serve and fulfill and a desire to share with someone."
Personality love is one or more of the following: "A desire to be in the physical presence of, or possess (because of the attractiveness of the personality of physical makeup), a desire to please (even though it may not be a beneficial pleasure), and a desire for sexual expression with another person.
Those who have developed soul love will find that they have not left personality love behind for soul love encompasses personality love. Soul love puts personality love under subjection. The person is then able to love on all levels, but he loves the personality with detachment so when soul love comes in conflict with it, the spiritual love will prevail.
Those who love others as souls still desire sexual expression and fulfillment, but this is not one of the main criteria for determining their love expression for one another. They will not let sex interfere with the desire for union, service and sharing on the soul level. These higher expressions have first priority and the physical expressions are sublimated to enhancing the higher expressions.
Those who love on the personality level need to be with, and be possessed by someone, need to be pleased, and need affection and/or sex. Those who love on the soul level still need the personality fulfillments, but also need union, need to serve, need to be served, and need to share with someone.
The type of service the soul seeks is the service that will stimulate evolution and the sharing it seeks is a sharing of enlightenment that will bring a mate to a higher level of progress. The personality seeks service and sharing with no thought to spiritual stimulation.
The strongest soul need people have in the sharing of love is the sharing of enlightenment that can lead to joyousness. Every person has a strong need for joy and happiness, and soul love seeks to fill this need in others through the sharing principle.
(3) THE NEED FOR EXPERIENCE
Experience is an extremely strong need for it is the basic reason all things were created. The One Life who permeates the universe is seeking experience.
Every life form needs certain types of experience depending on its point of evolution. As we progress from life to life we share in many varied experiences. As we repeat certain experiences again and again we find that we tire of them and that we seek new, more challenging ones. When the time comes that we have experienced all there is under the current laws of existence then we will reach a point where we are liberated from the physical world.
Each individual has a need to experience variety, change, and entirely new happenings in their life. A new experience can be like a stimulating medicine that can be a healing balm. Even old souls are stimulated by variety and change.
In a meditation I participated in years ago a young man was spiritually transported to a future society where interrelationships were of a very joyous nature. He brought back to us one sentence which impressed everyone in the group: "Our goal is to fulfill each other's dreams."
One of the best ways to fulfill one another's dreams is to help each other have the most conscious expanding experiences that are possible. Find out what the other person wants and help him achieve or experience them.
In a marriage relationship one should study the kinds of experiences his mate may need and seek to fulfill them. Talk over the types of new experiences you would like to have together. Keep in mind that this can be anything from a vacation to a new paradise, to learning a new activity, to meditating together. In the Bible the Master says:" ;I make all things new." [Revelation21:5] His disciples sing a "new song." [see Revelation14:3] Doing new things, sharing experiences never shared before, keeps us eternally young and vibrant and should not be forgotten in a relationship.
If a relationship seems to be getting stagnant the best medicine available is a new experience that is not resisted by either party. Seek for it and the reward cannot be withheld.
(4) THE NEED FOR CREATIVE EXPRESSION
This is a need that becomes stronger the farther a person progresses upon the path of spiritual evolution. When he is centered in the lower self his main creative expression is through imitation. He builds, he draws, or creates that which he has been instructed in and this fulfills his needs in the personality. This person needs praise and appreciation for that which he has made and derives much satisfaction from seeing his creation put to practical use.
The person who is centered in the soul develops a need to create things which are new, beautiful and original. He wants to sing songs never sung, draw pictures that have never been seen, and build creations that no one has yet dreamed as possible.
We must search out our companion's creative needs and seek to stimulate them and show sincere appreciation for the beauty of their creations. We should seek to understand the effort and sacrifice that was made. All people need to be appreciated. Perhaps in creative people this need is stronger than most.
(5) THE NEED FOR KNOWLEDGE
All people, high and low, need knowledge and can sense the impulses of their soul in some degree driving them toward it. As the need for experience within a sphere of activity decreases the need for knowledge increases. The most important knowledge of all is the knowing of our inner selves. Then we can better know the inner self of our mate. The knowledge of the principles that lead to a joyous relationship is one of the greatest needs humanity senses.
Each person has different areas of interest in which he or she is seeking knowledge and each person is impressed to go in a certain direction. We should seek to understand the areas in which our mate is seeking knowledge and seek to help him or her expand the opportunity. If one person in a relationship has more knowledge in an interesting area than another he can seek to teach his companion. They can enlighten and appreciate each other.
Gaining knowledge is much more than just obtaining facts registered on the brain through memory training. The key of knowledge is the understanding of the principles for one principle is worth a thousand facts.
Henry Ford is a good example of this. He was once criticized for his ignorance of automobiles and details related to his business. He pointed out to his accuser that he did not have to waste his time memorizing all the details concerning the operation of his cars and business. All he had to do was merely give a call and he could have an expert delivering him the needed knowledge. Henry Ford did not clutter his mind with unnecessary facts, but, instead, worked with principles of good business; hence he was successful.
We must seek to give and receive the principles that make all knowledge available to us and share the knowledge we gain with each other as one of the steps to fulfillment.
Copyright 1999 by J.J. Dewey, All Rights Reserved