Letter From A Friend

2009-6-8 16:27:00

Dear Friends,

I have been sifting through some old papers and writings to decide what to preserve and found several interesting things. I found a letter from an old friend (who is somewhat of a ruffian) written to the [Mormon] Prophet [Spencer W. Kimball] on my behalf shortly after I was excommunicated.

I had forgotten all about it and found it amusing to read again after all these years. Maybe you will also.

Here is the letter:

To: Spencer W. Kimball, Salt Lake City, Utah

Dear Prophet,

I want to know what the hell is going on here.

I have recently learned that my good friend Joe Dewey from New Plymouth, Idaho has been excommunicated from the Mormon Church. When I learned this I wanted to know how the hell he did that when I, hell raiser that I am, have been trying to get that done to me for years. I've committed every sin in the book and then some you haven't thought of, and still your people try and trace me down and haul me off to some damn church and pour your religion down my throat. The last time the teachers came to see me I threw a drink in their face and told them I wanted out, but I'm still not out. How is a man to get his message across?

That's why it just blew my mind all to hell when I heard about Joe. I wanted to know how he got out. I thought he must have blown up the church or raped the Bishop's wife.

But do you know what Joe told me? He said he got kicked out because God answered his prayers and told him stuff he apparently hasn't told the big businessmen down there.

Hell. That must be my problem. I haven't prayed for years. If I pray can I get out of your of organization? I've done every other exciting sin in the book, and if you think praying is a sin then I'll do that if I have to.

Joe is one of the best damn guys I ever met. He never screwed anybody out of nothing. About the only thing I didn't like about him is that he spent so much time running around for the church, he never had any time to run around with me and the boys.

Joe was the best Mormon I ever knew. Sometimes when Joe would sit down and talk to me and tell me things about religion he made it sound so good I was almost proud I was still a Mormon. What bothered me about him was that he gave the church fifteen per cent of what he made and I could never do that. I always figured he was a bit crazy for doing that, especially since he never made much money. Now you're going crazy too. You're biting the hand that feeds you.

Joe don't smoke, don't drink, don't screw the girls, and reads the Bible like I read Playboy. If anybody is as good as Jesus, he is. What the hell -- they crucified Jesus now you're trying to crucify my good friend Joe.

What really gripes me enough to write my first (and probably the last) letter to the Mormon prophet is your hypocrisy. You preach about all this family togetherness and now you're tearing up Joe's family. He hasn't told me, but I know that he's worried sick over losing his wife and children over this thing. His wife thinks the authorities are right in everything they do so she figures that Joe must be going to hell and she's not going to let the kids go with him. If he loses his kids then it's all because you damn hypocrites cut him off because he prays too much.

I swear that if there is a God you are the ones who are going to burn in hell for doing this to Joe. He hasn't done nothing wrong -- nothing at all and if there's a heaven he'll go there if anyone will.

Everyone I know that knows Joe thinks the Mormon Church must be sick for doing this to him. Do you hear that Prophet? Sick!

What more can I say? If Joe goes out I want out. I don't want anything to do with an organization that kicks out a guy and ruins his family because God answers his prayers.

One more time I plead -- I want out! O...U...T! OUT!

As much of a sinner as I am I have scruples enough to not want my name associated with hypocrites.

What do I have to do? Rape, steal, kill, burn a town down? I don't have the patience to pray like Joe does -- nor do I want to pay money like he did, but there's got to be a good easy way I can raise enough hell to get disassociated with you guys.

You probably want to throw this in the garbage, but I want an answer, and I'm going to get an answer. Why did you do this to Joe? I'm going to get an answer from you guys if I have to print this in the Salt Lake Tribune or some other major paper and I've got the money to do it. I owe Joe that much just because of the type of guy he is.

Yours Waiting,
Dick J. Wilson

JJ:

As expected my friend did not receive an answer, and I do not recall him placing an ad in the Salt Lake Tribune. The threat probably sent a chill down the LDS General Authorities' spine, however.