2009-5-20 06:17:00
After I adjusted to the shock of my low grades I assessed my situation and asked myself some questions.
I realized I could retake the failed courses and was confident I could be a good engineer, but I also realized something else and that was this. It did not appear that I was going to enjoy doing the tedious work of an engineer which is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.
I was developing a greater interest in writing and often found myself at the library reading literary works and past issues of The Writer magazine. I then decided that, figuring my interests and ability, the highest direction I could take would be as a writer. Even though I had just received an "F" in English I was not discouraged.
Since there was no major available or even one course on creative writing I decided to drop out of engineering and just take whatever courses interested me. I felt that if I was going to write that a broad knowledge of things would be helpful.
I thus changed my major to political science ands minored in journalism. In addition I took any course I saw that I found interesting.
Then after my first year of college I went on a mission for the LDS [Mormon] church, as was the custom for young men in the church of that age.
I was called to go to England and serve for two years. One thing that served me well during this period was the one-pointedness of my direction. All my energies were directed to "teaching the gospel" and nothing else. Learning and teaching were the only two endeavors. We worked every spare moment from 6 AM to 10 PM and often til midnight.
During this period I studied the scriptures and church doctrine every spare moment and fell in love with the concept of Zion. Zion was a society patterned after the order of heaven, which was to manifest upon the earth and produce peace on earth, goodwill to men as well as abundance for all. Best of all it was composed of a gathering of the "pure in heart" that would make it a much more desirable society than we have today.
By the end of the two years I had concluded that the greatest need of the planet was not engineers or scientists in the physical sense, but spiritual scientists.
But there was a major problem with proceeding with my ideas of spiritual science which was this. In the church you had to wait to be called to a work that involves building Zion.
After my mission I went back to college and continued taking a variety of courses. I found myself though spending more time at the library studying writing on my own and writing on the side than attending to my studies. I still dreamed of building Zion but seemed limited to working within any calling the church would give me.
I remember I sometimes wished I had lived back in the days of Joseph Smith when there seemed to be much more opportunity to do a great work than there was in modern times. It seemed as if the day of opportunity had passed.
This thinking was one of the biggest mistakes of my life.
The only thing that took my consciousness beyond this mistake is that I never ceased asking questions, seeking and studying, not only church approved writings but anything in the direction of spiritual knowledge.
From the age of 21 to 27 I had a sense of mission about building Zion, but there seemed to be no way to go about it because of restrictions from the church. Then, to make a long story short at the age of 27 I proved to myself that reincarnation was a true principle and this changed everything within an instant.
At that point I realized that I did not have to wait for the church to call me to service, but that I could call myself. The true elect are those who elect to serve to the highest of their capacity and let the chips fall where they may.
It was thus around the age period of 27-30 (the end of my first Saturn cycle) that I fined tune my mission and finally settled on the highest good I could pursue.
I had finally found my mission and have sought to accomplish it with varying degrees of enlightenment since that time.
That which I went through is what each true disciple must go through, but with different circumstances. Several things will be the same for all:
Duke asked if sometimes we take off on the wrong mission before we find the right one.
The answer is yes. This will always happen. I went from thinking my mission was astronomy to engineering, to fiction writing and a number of other possibilities until I finally found my true course.
But know this. The pursuit of a misdirected mission is far from a waste of time for that which is learned during this period will be invaluable knowledge when the true mission is found.
Another important point is this. Do not think that finding your mission means you will be a Moses or Lincoln. It merely means that you will find the correct work to do. That work may be an effort in cooperation with many other souls. For instance, the building of Zion will take the efforts of many sons and daughters of men on the same mission.
Also keep in mind that the building of Zion is only one mission of many attempted by true seekers.
Then a final point is this. For many the purpose of their life will be directed to learning more than serving. Sometimes a whole lifetime or series of lifetimes is dedicated to learning so the seeker can be equipped to perform a great service at a future date.
Why is this such an important key on the path of discipleship and how should he use it in connection to his own limitations.
How is the quality of being a dreamer a hindrance to Key Eight?
"The skill of writing is to create a context in which other people can think."
-- Edwin Schlossberg
Copyright © 2009 by J.J. Dewey, All Rights Reserved