"Also I found it curious that when considering the general intent of this series of articles -- as well as this being 'a spiritual discussion group' -- that up until this point that nothing really of what I would consider "spiritual" was written about -- and then when (what I would consider to be as) the most important 'spiritual experience' is spoken of -- that you (JJ) refuse to talk about or describe it (in any further detail than you previously have)?
"I am curious -- Why is this?"
I wouldn't say that nothing spiritual was written up to that point. Often it is those struggles we have in just maturing, moving forward and in relationships that are of significant importance in preparing us for initiation or spiritual experiences.
Here are some of the things I wrote of that I consider important spiritual preparation as a youth:
Even though from an adult perspective the efforts of youth may seem inconsequential, in reality many of them lay a foundation for a whole life.
When you were young did you believe everything you were told or did you question? Seemingly minor efforts in your youth can create branches that lead to great accomplishments.
Why do I not give you the full account right now? Well, the experience was quite personal but I will tell you this. Read the account of my experience with the Dweller in the "Lost Key and you will get the general idea of what happened when I was sixteen except overcoming it was more difficult and took longer than in the story.
"Adding to this 'mystery' (or sense of wonder) was the following statement made by JJ in Part 8:
"'Unknown to me at the time the real risk was trusting the Dragon rather than the soul but of this I had no knowledge and thus the point of tension in my mind was great.'
"While this quote seems like it is made 'in retrospect' what I immediately found interesting was my realization that this is/was the first time the has registered in my mind idea of a lack of knowledge could create a 'point of tension' that could lead to such a significant experience."
If I had a full knowledge of The Beast, the mark of unearned authority, the 'inner God,' etc., then the decision would have been a no-brainer. But because I did not know these things the decision to move ahead was difficult and weighing what to do created a point of tension.
Knowledge will often change a circumstance and prevent a point of tension in a certain area from being created. On the other hand, partial knowledge will often lead the seeker to a point of tension to obtain greater knowledge.
"I notice that you make several references to your soul -- and when I read the above excerpt, I wondered if at the time this -- or the events that you describe in Part 8 -- if you were consciously aware or have specific knowledge that what you were, in fact, experiencing contact with 'your soul,' 'The Dragon' (of authority), 'decree of darkness' or at the time did this -- or these events simply register as "a wrestling of thoughts" (or voices) in your mind?"
I did not have all the spiritual terms differentiated but thought in terms of God and his Spirit.
"I ask the same of this statement you make as well:
"'I should trust the highest I receive from within more than all the voices without.'
"I wonder whether that at the time of the/these occurrences if you were consciously aware of such concepts -- or whether -- in retrospect -- you have come to know what they were -- or and assign appropriate terminologies and meanings to what it was that you were going through?"
I didn't think in terms of outer or inner authorities at the time but I did learn to trust my own best judgement above religious authorities and did not see the church leaders as infallible, though I figured they must be the best that God could come up with.
"Also, when you use the word/phrase 'spiritual science' in describing your stories -- I also am curious as to whether at that age that you consciously referred your 'interest' as 'spiritual science.'?"
I do not recall using the term 'spiritual science' when young but I was a student of science and approached religion with a scientific approach and thought that true religion and science would agree.
Who & What Is An Initiate?
Copyright © 2008 by JJ Dewey, All Rights Reserved