2003-5-29 06:31:00
Rob writes:
What if the other person says something that is such an emotional blow that I become stunned and can't even stay centered in the mind to think of any way to respond let alone a harmless way?
It's easy to go back in the archives and pick out every statement someone else made and say, "Here. After you wrote these I felt hurt, angry, etc." But people don't have photographic memories. What do I do when a single statement has so many attacks wrapped up in it that afterwards I can't recall it exactly to tell the person how they made me feel?
JJ:
I know what you mean. I am normally a patient man and people can insult me all they want and I remain unruffled but even so, I recall several times when my buttons were really pushed. The several that really got to me would not seem to be as bad to an observer as other insults of the past but there was something about them that reached deep into my psyche and rose up an anger in me that could have been destructive if I did not call on extra reserves of self control to hold it at bay.
On these occasions the insult may seem so bad or outrageous you may indeed not know how to respond until you think on it a moment. This is the time that you do not want to go with your feelings alone. This is the time for the mind to assume control even though there is nothing you would love more than to let the guy have that which he richly deserves.
For the mind to assume control over highly charged situation will require an act of the will and the pilgrim may falter a number of times before the victory is won. But so long as he perseveres (endure to the end) the conquest is sure.
Rob:
What if the other person simply doesn't care about how I feel and continues attacking?
JJ:
This will sometimes happen and this is good practice for the fledgling disciple. In fact, without such people coming into our lives now and then, our progress would be very slow - so in a round-about way we should be thankful for them.
If you have communicated your grievances with harmlessness and he ignores your feelings and continues attacking then you must tune him out.
All people come into our lives because their consciousness shares a certain note with our own consciousness. If you apply the principle of attrition and do not play the shared note with the irritating person then he will fade out of your life and not show up again.
In other words, if you ignore him long enough he will lose interest.
Rob:
What about a scenario where there's a mental conversation that occasionally takes a dip into the astral. Sarcasm and other statements that attack and hurt feelings occur. If I stopped during every attack statement to tell the person how it made me feel, the discussion completely halts or gets sidetracked. If we shouldn't suppress then how does one handle their emotions in this scenario and still keep the discourse moving forward?
JJ:
Most descents into the astral do not produce a grievance in the above average person. It is only necessary to share hurt feelings when there is a grievance. Two fairly mental people often descend into the astral during a heated argument, but not pick up a grievance over it.
If you pick up a grievance repeatedly from a certain individual and have to work it out repeatedly then the best thing to do is to tune that person out of your life.
If such a person is part of a committed relationship then one needs to check with his soul for guidance and help.
Neo: I know what you're trying to do.
Morpheus: I'm trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You're the one who has to walk through it. The Matrix
Copyright 2003 by J.J. Dewey, All Rights Reserved