The Growth of Self

2002-2-5 14:26:00

Paul, I will shortly post a major article on astrology so bear with me. By the way, when I start writing on a subject it is no longer off topic. This is one of the perks of being head teacher.

Thanks for the birthday greetings Glenys. (actually tomorrow U.S. time) You always remember. Peter, I didn't realize you were born on Feb 6th also. So was Babe Ruth, Ronald Reagan, Tom Brokaw, Axel Rose and almost Tom Selleck (Feb 5, 1945). You'd think I would have as much hair as Tom since we are only born a day apart.


From Self Consciousness to Initiation, Chapter 1 -- The Growth of Self

As you began your learning in Class One you were hesitant to leave the instinctive animal world behind. You still lived in harmony with the earth and the animals and you carried over a strong natural instinct that you felt was necessary for you to survive. You found yourself incarnating in what mankind would call primitive circumstances and living in tribes similar to the organizations of some animals.

Your instinct seemed to tell you how much you needed to cooperate with the tribe and how much you could take for your newly discovered self. It was an exciting thing for you to nourish this Self that you found within. You discovered that the more you paid attention to it the more attention that it wanted.

It seemed scary, however, to pay a lot of attention to this Self as it was new, unknown and uncomfortable. You never knew where it would lead you. Sometimes following Self created disturbing situations bringing pain to yourself and others.

As a beginning Class One you found it to be the line of least resistance to fall back on your instinctual animal nature whenever you had any doubts about Self. It seemed comfortable doing this for you have relied on this lower nature for eons of time and you just couldn't drop it in an instant. This nature was like home to you. It was the secure past and the Self was the insecure future.

After lifetimes of primitive conditions you were hesitant to trust the Self until you encountered some interesting persons. You discovered other humans who were very much into Self and trusted in Self. To your alarm they seemed to have acquired great power through this Self. Neither you nor your tribe was a match for these self-serving humans and all of your companions were filled with fear at the very sight of them.

At first most of your associates revered them as gods, but somehow this did not seem right to you. You decided to study them and see. You discovered that when they were cut they bled, they got sick from time to time and they got tired just as you did. You decided that they were not gods, but men. You told several of your tribal members what you thought and they mocked you so you decided to prove it to them.

While one of the self-men was straying from his camp you killed him and cut off his head. In your mind at this time this was neither a good nor bad action. It was just something you decided to do. You took the head to the tribe and they were aghast. Still they were not sure whether the self-men were humans, or gods. Some thought that they still may be gods, but perhaps you were some god yourself, or a person of some great power.

This type of thought projected toward you produced a new feeling in you. It felt good to feel that others may fear and respect you as they did the self-men. It made you feel closer to your own Self and the desire for power you felt growing in your breast began to override the fear you had of the Self. Slowly, you began to merge with Self and the fear began to leave.

As you came closer to Self you came to an interesting realization. In the past you had followed your instincts and gone along for the good of the tribe often to the detriment of Self. Now the Self you were merging with told you that this was wrong. It said that any action that does not benefit Self is not only wrong, but stupid. It seemed to make no sense whatsoever to do any service for other than Self.

You thought about that point long and hard. Yes, it makes no sense to work for other than Self. In addition to this you began to despise others who couldn't see this point. They still worked for the good of the whole. This was wrong. All should serve Self, and since they had no interest in their own Self you saw that a marvelous opportunity opened up for you. You could have these ignorant savages serve your Self. After all the satisfaction of your Self is more important than any other Self.

Your Self was eager to cooperate with you for it wanted to strengthen itself. It told you all you needed to know to put fear into the hearts of your associates. You followed instructions and began to marvel at the Power of Self for it had soon established you as a being separate and more powerful than the rest of the tribe.

You had no problem accepting this. Yes, you were a special being, a powerful being, set apart for a different function from the other tribe members. They are not like you and you are not like them. Yet you do realize that the other Self-men have similar power to yours, but even their Selves do not matter to you. Only your Self does.

For a long period of time your Self ruled as a God over the tribe. Every once in a while you saw that others began to merge with their Self and posed a potential threat to your power. However, when such a person came to your notice you either scared him away from his Self or had him killed.

In time you found that you could not go on doing this forever as the numbers of Self-men were increasing and your rule of Self could be overthrown. Finally, you decided on a plan that would preserve the rule of Self and one-by-one you had interviews with the other Self-developing members of the tribe.

In essence you told them this: "Look, there is more gratification of Self available here than is needed for one man and I am willing to share my power with you. Therefore, I will make you priests and you shall have power over the people just as I do. The only catch is that I must maintain power over you and the people under you."

The other Self-men accepted this proposal. They all secretly wanted to take your position, but realized they would be killed if they tried. Therefore, your proposal served Self more than any other course. Nevertheless, these Self-men were always seeking for further glorification of Self by watching for a way to remove you from power. Therefore, you had to rule them with power and with fear.

You lived a number of lifetimes in this type of circumstance. You were either a supreme leader of a group or seeking to be one. All this time you were enhancing your power to glorify Self. Nevertheless, you did not lose your attunement with earth, animals and instinct. This was the past for you and you still held on to some instinct. Its power over you was waning, however, as you trusted more and more in Self.

Your people saw that you still respected Mother Earth, animals and instinct and thus they still considered you one of them. What many did not yet share with you was the dedication of Self which was rising in you and which would eventually overshadow instinct.

During this period you were somewhat paradoxical. You were sensitive and in tune with Nature, yet you could destroy an enemy within or without of your tribe with no feeling of remorse or guilt. You did many other hurtful things, which would have appalled you from a higher consciousness view. You used your mate, children and companions for the ends of your Self with no concern for their hurt. Sometimes instinct helped you to avoid hurt, but you did not always follow this anymore.

Let me give you several examples of what you did:

We could continue here, but suffice it to say that you caused harm again and again to assuage your Self, taking no thought of harm to other selves. You were not able to continue long on this harmful course, however, without suffering the effects of the law of cause and effect, commonly referred to as karma. We shall talk about this next.


-- End Of Chapter Two --


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