1999-1-13 00:07:00
Tracy's story reminded me of a true life experience I thought I would share with you. Here is the skeleton of it.
When I was a young man I found I began to pick up on inner messages and discovered that the more I trusted them the clearer they became. After having several fairly astounding things happen I was quite proud of myself as a receiver. Then one night after I retired to bed after a difficult day I received a message that a friend of mine was in trouble.
The feeling was disturbing, but I told myself that whatever it was could wait until morning. As I drifted off to sleep I did so feeling that somehow I wasn't supposed to wait until morning, but because I was so tired and it was so inconvenient I ignored the feeling.
The first thing the next morning I went to visit my friend. The first thing she did was look at me accusingly and said: "I thought you told me that you could pick up on things when there is a problem with someone you are close to. Well I did a terrible thing last night and somehow I thought that you might show up and stop me, but you didn't. So much for your funny feelings!"
My jaw dropped as I thought about how disappointed I was in myself for ignoring the inner voice, if even for a few hours. I explained to her that I had received a message to go to her, but at this point she shut down and refused to believe me.
Because I did not respond when I was instructed this person made a big mistake that cost her dearly.
As I reflected on my mistake I said an inner prayer to God and told Him that I would follow the next message I received even if the time was inconvenient.
The Powers that Be must have heard my silent words for something up there decided to put me to the test.
About a week later a message came again. This time it was not a convenient 10:30 at night but three in the morning. At this early hour I woke with a jolt with a powerful taste of aspirin in my mouth. My mouth was dry and it tasted like I had about two tablespoons of powdered aspirin around my tongue. I immediately felt that someone close to me was thinking about suicide, probably by taking an overdose of aspirin. I looked at the clock and saw that it was three in the morning and thought to myself, surely God does not expect me to go wake someone up at this hour, besides maybe I am just imagining this and the morning is not that far away.
I laid back down and tried to go back to sleeping thinking that maybe the feeling would go away, but it didn't. Then I remembered my promise, that I would respond to the inner voice the next time it came no matter how inconvenient.
I sat up again and tuned in. Yes, I concluded, the message is real, I was not imagining it. Now the question was who was it that was thinking of suicide and why would they be thinking of it at three in the morning? Good heavens, can't people commit suicide during normal hours!
I concentrated within and a name came to me. The person who came to mind was a fairly good looking married lady friend of mine that had taken a liking to me and her husband had taken a disliking to me. I thought to myself that if I go knock on their door at three in the morning and he answers there's a good chance he'll punch me out. As I reflected the inner voice told me to hurry. I rushed over to her home and went up to her door and stood there a moment. At this point I was really tempted to withdraw and head back home. This is silly, I thought. There is no light on in the house, my friend is obviously in bed and there's no logical reason why this can't wait until in the morning. I started to turn around when that nagging inner voice came back and said "knock on the door."
I had visions of her growling husband coming down the stairs with a shotgun, but I gathered my courage and knocked.
No answer.
I knocked again harder.
No answer.
There, " said to myself. I've done what you said, now I'm going home.
"Knock again harder" said the inner voice.
I paused and finally thought, what the heck and pounded very hard on the door.
This time it had an effect and lights immediately turned on. After a few minutes my friend, whose name was Sylvia answered the door. She looked at me with some surprise. Her husband shouted from the bedroom up the stairs: "Sylvia, what's going on down there?"
She answered him back and said: "Nothing honey, just go back to sleep."
Fortunately, the guy seemed to go back to sleep and Sylvia invited me inside.
After we sat down I said to her: Sylvia, I received a message this morning that you were thinking of committing suicide by taking an overdose of aspirin and I have come here to stop you.
She looked at me with a blank stare.
Then I said: "Have you been thinking of committing suicide?"
Then she laughed at me and said, "Of course not. Everything is fine. What in the world made you think that?"
I felt kind of foolish as I blurted out, "I just had a feeling about you."
"Well, tell that feeling to go away. I know from some things you have taught me that you think you can get messages about things, but let me tell you, this time you are 100 per cent wrong. I'm fine, my husband is fine, everything is fine. Now you'd better go before he wakes up."
As I left her place I considered that it seemed that I had made a fool of myself, but at least I obeyed and started to head back home. Then the inner voice came again, "You are not done, there is still danger."
Next I thought that perhaps I was wrong about Sylvia. Maybe it was someone else. I reflected over a list of friends who may be the problem and went to their houses. Between about 4 AM to 6 AM I woke up about a half dozen friends and asked them if they were thinking about suicide. After they got over the shock of waking up so early most of them thought it was quite funny that I was rambling around town waking people up asking them if they were going to kill themselves. They kidded me about this "funny feeling" I had for some time afterwards.
I went back home and rested for a short while but the Spirit within me told me my job was not yet done. So I took off again and spent most of the day visiting every friend I could think of asking them questions trying to discover if there may be a problem, but could find none. Finally in the late afternoon I had exhausted all of my resources, but the powerful feeling persisted that I had not discovered the problem. Finally I withdrew into myself and reflected trying to discern who the real suicidal person was. As I reflected I had the feeling that I was right the first time. The person was Sylvia.
About 4 PM (around 12 hours from the first visit) I returned and knocked on her door again. She answered and was there alone while her husband was at work. She invited me in and we sat down again. After some small talk I told her again that I suspected that she was not telling me the truth and was thinking about suicide and pleaded with her to come clean with me.
She said: "You may get some inspiration from time to time, but this time you are wrong. Everything is fine. How many times do I have to tell you that your feeling is wrong?"
I looked into her eyes and they seemed to be so honest, so sincere, so truthful. How could I be so silly as to think she is telling me such a bold face lie. Maybe, just maybe I am wrong this time. Maybe I was just lucky in times past that the inner voice was right."
I started to get up and head for the door when the Spirit rested upon me and somehow I finally knew for sure that Sylvia was lying to me.
I sat back down and looked Sylvia in the eyes and said these words: "Sylvia, the Spirit of God is resting upon me and telling me that you are not telling the truth. There is a major problem and you must tell me about it now. Why were you thinking of killing yourself?"
I couldn't believe I was saying those words. What if she laughed at me again?
But she didn't laugh. This time her countenance changed in an instant and she put her face in her hands and wept with great emotion. She cried out, "You are right. Last night I did something terrible. I committed adultery and when I came home late at night I was thinking of committing suicide and the only way I could think of doing it was to take a bottle of aspirin I had. Then I went to bed still thinking about it when I heard a knock on the door and it was you. I immediately thought to myself that somehow you knew my intentions, but did my best to deceive you, but you wouldn't leave me alone would you?"
"It's God who won't leave you alone," I said.
Well you certainly distracted me so I didn't take the aspirin, but I've still been very depressed.
I counseled her on making the best of the rest of her life and left with a very light and joyous feeling that a life had been saved. She had her share of problems because of her mistake, but as far as I know never again contemplated taking her life.
Copyright 1999 by J.J. Dewey, All Rights Reserved