Doubt

2001-5-1 13:30:00

Lorraine tugged at our hearts when she wrote:

"I feel like such a tiny little light in the center of the biggest blackest void. I feel like I am not enough, and no matter what I do, I will never be enough. I feel like I can't do this work which seems so easy for me to understand. It's not that I can't teach it, or that I don't understand it. It's more that I'm not worthy to teach it. Does any one else struggle like this?"

From the responses received Lorraine, it is obvious that you are not alone. Everyone has self doubts at one time or another, but do you know when the struggle is the greatest?

It is at the point of tension that we talked about earlier. The point of tension is that point of stress we all reach just before we obtain power to accomplish our objective.

We've been writing about the humanity of Christ and in this reference let me tell you that even He, the greatest among us had to gather His courage to face His mission.

The point of tension came for Jesus at His baptism when the Spirit of God, or the higher entity who was Christ, descended in Him and dwelt with Him. This presence brought him a realization of his mission greater than anything He had beforehand.

Jesus, a human like you and me was thus faced with bearing the presence of one much greater than Himself and going forth and fulfilling the prophesies of the Messiah.

What did He do? Did He immediately go and teach the people?

No. Because of the expanded vision He had of what was ahead He doubted himself and thought many thoughts that you and may have had in a similar circumstance such as.

Am I imagining that I am to fill this mission?

Am I worthy of it?

Surely there's someone better suited for this than me.

Perhaps I will be totally rejected and I will fail.

As He contemplated that high and holy presence that was with Him He felt totally unprepared to begin and went into the wilderness and fasted for forty days seeking for guidance and strength.

At the end of the fast He was "tempted" by an adversary. Now what does it mean to be tempted? It means distracting thoughts are placed before you that you are considering. Jesus struggled with these tempting thoughts that would destroy His mission, but He held steady and did not yield.

Even so with us. We must choose the highest that we know and follow it and when the disciple follows this high path he will wonder if he really knew after all. The key is to continue in faith and if you have erred, corrections will be revealed until the greater light will come and the servant will proceed with pure knowledge until his next test.

One thing that helps is the support of friends and I hope all of you feel that you have friends here. There is much we can do to support each other.

Don't forget to say the Song of the 144,000 and when you say it see in your minds eye all the others who are saying it and feel the energy circulate among the group going to where it is needed the most.

Also keep this in mind. There are tests for the disciple where he can draw support from friends and associates and then there are others that he must endure entirely alone. These are most difficult, but "he who endures to the end will be delivered" through the power of the soul into greater realms of consciousness.