Laws of Time

1998-12-20 20:35:00

I guess it's time to do my part in adding some flavor here and add an off beat post.

The speed of time is directly proportional to your need to go to the bathroom.
The slowest day is the day before Christmas as experienced by a five year-old.
A teenager has no concept of future time, has a perfect grasp of present time, but has forgotten past time.
An angry female has a perfect grasp and recollection of past time: a distorted vision of future time and no understanding whatsoever of present time.
A male who is dealing with an angry female understands past time; is puzzled by the present time, and wants to move to future time.
A parent is stuck in the past time, frightened by the present time, and wonders if there will be a future time.
A politician has a New Age view of time: A promise made yesterday never really happened and is an illusion. A promise made today is happening if it is your truth. And tomorrow's reality of that promise will vary according to the dimension you occupy.
The Communists view on time: The reality of the past is that which is decreed in the present and the future will be the same as the past until someone wakes up.
The rock musician's view of time: "Past, future ... What's that man? 'NOW' is all there is. So, eat, drink, and watch MTV, for you could be nuked tomorrow -- or Gore could be President!"
The amount time slows down between phone calls to your sweetheart is directly proportional to the intensity in which you are in love.